10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (3/25-3/27)

10. Bronson Arroyo Diagnosed With Mono

            Not to make light of an unfortunate illness for a member of the 2004 Red Sox, but for some reason whenever I hear someone has mono I giggle. It’s very juvenile, but when it’s burned into your brain in junior high school that mono is the kissing disease, I just can’t help it. Without any proof of a relationship, here’s the list of five celebrities I think could’ve most likely given Arroyo mono.

Lady Gaga

Lindsey Lohan

Kate Hudson

Paris Hilton

iCarly

            Mono is also fun for black humor slogans such as, “Got mono? Well, at least it’s not AIDs!” I could go on all day about this, but I don’t want to lose what little of an audience I have, so lets move on.  

9. Alonzo Mourning Stops Traffic in Miami to Help Disabled Person Cross the Road

            This is a fun little story about a random act of kindness. Don’t read enough of these anymore.

8. Freddy Garcia Earns Spot in Yankees Rotation Over Bartolo Colon

            In other words, the Yankees chose the lesser of two evils.

7. Bulls Steal Game in Milwaukee

            Derrick Rose went bonkers in this one, going off for 30 points and 17 assists. There’s no doubt who the NBA MVP will be this season.

6. Kentucky upsets Ohio St.

            This spelt the end for my insanely awful bracket this year, as I had Ohio State winning the whole thing. Next year I plan on having my son choose my picks for me. He’ll be over a year old at that point, which means he’ll have a better chance at succeeding than I will.

5. Kevin Harvick Passes Jimmie Johnson on Last Lap

            I was able to watch the last 10 laps of this one, which turned out to be the only 10 laps worth watching. I plan on trying to do this more often with NASCAR races.

(TANGENT ALERT: I bought “Gran Turismo 5” for Playstation 3 about 10 days ago. I know racing games aren’t for everyone, but for those that are this game gets my full seal of approval. If this blog inexplicably dies within the next month, you can blame GT5.)

4. Kentucky Outlasts North Carolina

            I’m a little bummed out by this result, because it means my favorite player in the tournament (Harrison Barnes) will no longer be in it. Kentucky deserved the W though.

3. VCU Stuns Kansas

            In other words, men’s college basketball officially stopped making any sense at all.

2. Kemba Walker Powers Huskies Past Arizona

            No team better exemplifies my ineptitude in picking the 2011 tournament than Connecticut. Faithful readers of this column will recall me picking Bucknell to upset them in round 1 (click here for proof). Now the Huskies are the favorite to win the whole damn thing. Did I mention how much my picks sucked again?

1. Butler Defeats Florida in OT, Advances to Final 4

            I’d give Butler more credit if they weren’t bailed out by Florida running the “chuck 25-footers offense” in the last two minutes of regulation and overtime.