10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (3/25-3/27)

10. Bronson Arroyo Diagnosed With Mono

            Not to make light of an unfortunate illness for a member of the 2004 Red Sox, but for some reason whenever I hear someone has mono I giggle. It’s very juvenile, but when it’s burned into your brain in junior high school that mono is the kissing disease, I just can’t help it. Without any proof of a relationship, here’s the list of five celebrities I think could’ve most likely given Arroyo mono.

Lady Gaga

Lindsey Lohan

Kate Hudson

Paris Hilton

iCarly

            Mono is also fun for black humor slogans such as, “Got mono? Well, at least it’s not AIDs!” I could go on all day about this, but I don’t want to lose what little of an audience I have, so lets move on.  

9. Alonzo Mourning Stops Traffic in Miami to Help Disabled Person Cross the Road

            This is a fun little story about a random act of kindness. Don’t read enough of these anymore.

8. Freddy Garcia Earns Spot in Yankees Rotation Over Bartolo Colon

            In other words, the Yankees chose the lesser of two evils.

7. Bulls Steal Game in Milwaukee

            Derrick Rose went bonkers in this one, going off for 30 points and 17 assists. There’s no doubt who the NBA MVP will be this season.

6. Kentucky upsets Ohio St.

            This spelt the end for my insanely awful bracket this year, as I had Ohio State winning the whole thing. Next year I plan on having my son choose my picks for me. He’ll be over a year old at that point, which means he’ll have a better chance at succeeding than I will.

5. Kevin Harvick Passes Jimmie Johnson on Last Lap

            I was able to watch the last 10 laps of this one, which turned out to be the only 10 laps worth watching. I plan on trying to do this more often with NASCAR races.

(TANGENT ALERT: I bought “Gran Turismo 5” for Playstation 3 about 10 days ago. I know racing games aren’t for everyone, but for those that are this game gets my full seal of approval. If this blog inexplicably dies within the next month, you can blame GT5.)

4. Kentucky Outlasts North Carolina

            I’m a little bummed out by this result, because it means my favorite player in the tournament (Harrison Barnes) will no longer be in it. Kentucky deserved the W though.

3. VCU Stuns Kansas

            In other words, men’s college basketball officially stopped making any sense at all.

2. Kemba Walker Powers Huskies Past Arizona

            No team better exemplifies my ineptitude in picking the 2011 tournament than Connecticut. Faithful readers of this column will recall me picking Bucknell to upset them in round 1 (click here for proof). Now the Huskies are the favorite to win the whole damn thing. Did I mention how much my picks sucked again?

1. Butler Defeats Florida in OT, Advances to Final 4

            I’d give Butler more credit if they weren’t bailed out by Florida running the “chuck 25-footers offense” in the last two minutes of regulation and overtime.

2011 Fantasy Baseball Mock Draft Rounds 16-17

16-181 = Curtis Granderson, CF, Yankees – I honestly have no idea how Granderson fell this low in the mock (probably due to me over-emphasizing starting pitching and infielders). Granderson was a disappointment during his first year in the Bronx, but did hit 18 home runs in his final 81 games of 2010. A great buy low candidate you should consider taking as early as the 9^th round if you need to fill an outfield spot.

16-182 = Phil Hughes, SP, Yankees – Hughes’ poor second half is the reason he dropped on my board (along with his job pitching in the sand box that is the new Yankee Stadium). He’s going around the 147^th pick in ESPN leagues. 

16-183 = Francisco Cordero, RP, Reds – Another cardiac closer. If you own Cordero on your fantasy team this season, do yourself a favor and never watch him pitch live. Also be aware that if he struggles, Aroldis Chapman is lurking to take his job.

16-184 = Brandon Lyon, RP, Astros – Lyon is essentially the same pitcher as Cordero, but he pitches on a poorer team and has more job security.

16-185 = Michael Cuddyer, 1B-3B-RF, Twins – You won’t get much more than 15 homers and 80 RBIs, but he’s a solid bench player with corner infield and outfield eligibility.

16-186 = Jhoulys Chacin, SP-RP, Rockies – Chacin delivered a strike out per inning during his rookie year with Colorado at the age of 22. For those of you that plan on punting saves, this is a guy you want to get to fill your RP spot.

16-187 = Joel Hanrahan, RP, Pirates – Hanrahan is competing with Evan Meek for the closer job, but his high strikeout rate should give him the edge in that battle. Hanrahan was fourth in strikeouts by relief pitchers last season.

16-188 = Jorge Posada, C, Yankees – This is probably the last season Posada will ever be owned in a fantasy league, as he will lose his catcher eligibility after this season.

16-189 = Ike Davis, 1B, Mets – Davis hit 19 home runs in his first season in the majors, and at age 24, has potential to hit more.

16-190 = Carlos Quentin, RF, White Sox – Health is a concern, but at any point from round 10 on it’s appropriate to take a chance on a guy who could deliver over 30 home runs.

16-191 = Johnny Cueto, SP, Reds – Don’t expect him to turn into a top-10 starter, but Cueto is a solid option to anchor the middle of your fantasy rotation.

16-192 = Johan Santana, SP, Mets – Santana could miss as much as half the season recovering from shoulder surgery last September. It’s important to know if your league has DL spots before adding him to your roster.

17-193 = Andres Torres, LF-CF-RF, Giants – Torres’ numbers would’ve been much stronger if his appendix didn’t explode. It isn’t unreasonable to expect between 10-15 home runs and 20-30 steals.

17-194 = Fernando Rodney, RP, Angels – No matter how bad I need a closer, I will not draft Fernando Rodney. Someone desperate for saves will though.

17-195 = Matt Garza, SP, Cubs – I’m not as high on Garza as others because I feel Chicago is a mess. He’ll be a great buy-low candidate in 2012 when Pujols is playing first base for the Cubs.

17-196 = Juan Uribe, 2B-3B-SS, Dodgers – Uribe should not be targeted as a potential starter, but can be a valuable member of your bench.

17-197 = Jaime Garcia, SP, Cardinals – Garcia’s 2.70 ERA was helped greatly by opponents only hitting .243 against him. Expect it to be at least 3.85 or higher in 2011.

17-198 = Ryan Raburn, 2B-LF-CF-RF, Tigers – Similar to Uribe, Raburn’s multi-position eligibility (in Yahoo leagues only, not ESPN) makes him an attractive option for your bench. A .270 batting average with 20 home runs is not out of the question as he enters the season as Detroit’s starting left fielder.

17-199 = Kevin Gregg, RP, Orioles – You can count on three things in life. Death, taxes, and Kevin Gregg somehow finishing the year with 30 saves.

17-200 = Jorge De La Rosa, SP, Rockies – It’s often not pretty, but he’ll give you close to a strikeout per inning.

17-201 = Nick Swisher, RF, Yankees – There’s no way Swisher (a career .253 hitter) matches his .288 batting average from last year. Still, he’s a great bet to net you 25 home runs by seasons end. You could take him 50 picks earlier and get no complaints from me.

17-202 = Ervin Santana, SP, Angels – Santana was on my fantasy team for all of 2010, and I honestly have no idea how he won 17 games last year. We’ll probably never see him put up a season close to his production of 2008 (16-7, 214 Ks, 3.49 ERA, 1.12 WHIP), but you’ll happy with 170 strikeouts from your 17^th round pick.

17-203 = Frank Francisco, RP, Blue Jays – Francisco is the favorite to win the closing gig for Toronto.

17-204 = Bronson Arroyo, SP, Reds – Arroyo doesn’t have the talent to be a top-25 pitcher, but he’s going to give you a solid 200 innings. He also has a good chance at racking up 15 wins.