We Have Opinions

            For the last three months, this blog hasn’t produced anything without “10 Awesome Things”, “NBA”, or “Picks” in the title. To kick-start a summer of (hopefully) writing about other things, we’d like to post some thoughts on a variety of topics.

We left Landon Donovan off the World Cup team? Really?

            I get it if you’re a country like Brazil or Spain that when a superstar player ages, he’s no longer good enough to stay on the team. Those countries are trying to win a championship, so it makes sense to bring the best roster you can. The United States should have no such aspirations, so leaving the most famous American soccer player off the roster is asinine. At least we’ll always have this goal against Algeria, which happened to occur on the day my son was born.

 

            The fact that the greatest moment in American soccer history came against Algeria reinforces my point that the United States is going nowhere in the World Cup. Donovan should be on this team.

Mark Cuban isn’t a racist

            He’s just a clumsy public speaker, who due to some poor phrasing marred a legitimate point. For example…

This person is more likely to beat you up

 

than this person

Teams will rue the day they didn’t draft Johnny Fucking Football

            Sure his ceiling is a more athletic version of Tony Romo, but there are at least 16 teams in THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE that would take that. We’re predicting that Manziel (who’s not an idiot) won’t run around as much as he did at Texas A&M, and within three years, will guide Cleveland to playoff contention.

Instead of letting Alex Ovechkin return to Russia, let’s trade him to another team

            For better or worse, there isn’t another player like Ovechkin in the NHL. With rumors that he’s considering staying in Russia and playing in the KHL next year, No Credentials feels that a change of scenery is necessary to keep Ovechkin in the United States. Here are our top 5 favorite potential destinations for the goal scoring extraordinaire.

1. Los Angeles Kings – we’re guessing he’d be excited to play out west.
2. Pittsburgh Penguins – Pittsburgh needs to shake things up a bit (that’s already happened in their front office), so why not swap Evgeni Malkin for Ovechkin? That will never happen, but if it did the Internet would explode in Canada.
3. Boston Bruins – Boston needs an elite goal scorer, and we’re guessing Claude “the Vacuum Salesman” Julien would be able to rein him in.
4. St. Louis Blues – Another deep team that lacks an elite goal scorer, Ovechkin could put them over the top.
5. Toronto Maple Leafs – A blockbuster acquisition of Ovechkin by Toronto would be destined to fail, which would be awesome to watch.

There isn’t a better movie idea than a film where Tom Cruise dies 1,573 times
            It’s an incredible premise. If there were such a thing as “Bible Thumper Movie Awards”, we’re guessing a film featuring the most (in)famous Scientologist dying over and over would slaughter the competition.

Babies are awesome, until they become mobile

            Enjoy the time you have while you’re able to plop your newborn into a bouncer or swing like a potato, because it’s all downhill once they start rolling.

No Credentials New Theory For MLB Starting Pitchers = Use Them While You Have Them

            We’ve seen pitchers who were coddled, with innings limits strictly imposed, end up needing Tommy John surgery (Stephen Strasburg). We’ve seen pitchers that were rushed to the major leagues, with minimal restrictions, end up needing Tommy John surgery (Jose Fernandez). The bottom line is, there’s really no way to predict when or if a pitcher will blow out his elbow. We aren’t advocating to have pitchers throw 130+ pitches per start, but if I’m running a MLB team, I’m using my best pitchers as often and as much as possible until they breakdown.     

Joey Logano is NASCAR’s first post-hype sleeper

            For non-fantasy baseball nerds, post-hype sleeper is a phrase given to a player that was hyped when he initially made it to the big leagues, then “under performed” for a few years, before breaking out well after most people assumed that player would ever reach his predicted ceiling (long sentence, but hopefully it made sense). Joey Logano fits the bill, which is stupid when you remember that he just turned 24 on Saturday.
            Sometime back in the mid-2000s, Mark Martin blessed Joey Logano with the nickname “Sliced Bread”, anointing him the next big thing in NASCAR. All of the major teams made overtures to ink him to a development deal, with Joe Gibbs Racing ultimately signing him. Logano debuted in Nationwide after he turned 18 and became the youngest winner in the history of the series. When Tony Stewart left to build his own team with Gene Haas, Logano was rushed into Sprint Cup in 2009. Logano won a couple of races during his time with Gibbs, but was ultimately let go to make room for Matt Kenseth. Ignorant fans (in other words, the vast majority of NASCAR viewers) figured Logano was finished even though he was only 22 years old. Roger Penske wisely scooped up him up to fill the seat vacated by A.J. Allmendinger, and the rest is history.
            Logano was a victim of the end of the “rush young drivers to the top-tier series” era launched by the success of Jeff Gordon (which never made sense, because Gordon spent a few years in the then Busch Series before his rookie year). Auto racing is a sport where drivers typically peak in their early to mid-30s, so for everyone to give up on Logano was preposterous. The vast majority of drivers didn’t get the chance to deliver after they initially flopped (click here to read about Casey Atwood, who’s arguably the best example of a young driver owners gave up on too early), but we’re happy Logano got the chance. There’s a good chance he’ll be battling with Kyle Larson and Chase Elliott for the next two decades.          

There is no such thing as “new” Michael Jackson songs

            All of the songs featured on Jackson’s second posthumous album were originally recorded between 1983 and 2002, so lets stop calling this new material.

I like super heroes as much as anyone, but holy shit let’s give them a rest on the big screen

            Ever since the extraordinary success of the Christopher Nolan Batman series, it seems movie studios want to revisit the complete stories of every comic book character ever invented. The problem is compounded by the studios that own the rights to the X-Men and Spiderman, who have to produce original movies every two years or else Disney (which now owns Marvel Comics) gains the rights to them. At some point enough of these films will bomb (we predict tough sledding for Marvel’s “Guardians of the Galaxy”, which is a comic with a fan base of roughly 602) that Hollywood will move on to beating some other genre into the ground.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (5/23-5/25)

10. Manny Ramirez Signed as Player Coach For Cubs Minor League Team
            I don’t doubt that Manny Ramirez is a true student of hitting, but his ability to teach younger players his methods is something to keep an eye on. Ramirez was one of the more eccentric players in his day, so we’re not sure a typical minor leaguer will understand his tips.

9. Rory McIlroy Makes Stunning 7-Shot, Final Round Comeback

            “I ditched the bitch, and now I can win golf tournaments.” – Rory McIlroy’s comments after winning the BMW PGA Championship.

            Alright, he didn’t actually say that, but he should’ve.

8. Heat Win Rock Fight Against Pacers
            It literally felt like Ray Allen was the only person in the arena that could properly shoot a basketball. Game 4 is a must win for the Pacers.

7. Nico Rosberg Claims Second Straight Monaco Grand Prix
            Even better, Lewis Hamilton spent the majority of the weekend complaining about his fellow Mercedes driver. One of the most underrated things in all of sports is a Formula One rivalry developing between teammates.

6. Los Angles Kings Take Game 3 Over Defending Champs

            The Kings acquisition of Marion Gaborik at the trade deadline should go down as the transaction of the year, as Los Angles’ offense looks totally different than it did in the regular season. 

5. Josh Beckett Throws First No-Hitter of 2014

            Big news…Beckett cares this year!

4. Serge Ibaka’s Comeback Sparks Game 3 Rout For Oklahoma City

            I guess Ibaka should’ve been the MVP of the league.
        
3. Jimmie Johnson Ends Winless Streak
            Johnson has had multiple chances to get in the win column this season, and was finally able to breakthrough with a late race pass of Matt Kenseth.
         
2. Martin St. Louis Nets Overtime Winner, Gives Rangers 3-1 Series Lead
            St. Louis’ inspired play since the death of his mother has New York on the verge of its first Stanley Cup Finals appearance since 1994.

1. Ryan Hunter-Reay Wins Second Closest Indianapolis 500

            It’s a good thing Hunter-Reay was able to hold off Helio Castroneves, otherwise the world wouldn’t of got to see his young son celebrate with him in a matching fire suit.

NBA Season Wrap-Up: Teams 5-16

            Here’s our second set of post-season NBA team reviews. Today, we look at the teams that have lost in the playoffs so far.

16. Atlanta Hawks

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 23
Fantasy MVP = PF Paul Millsap (quietly kept Hawks afloat after Al Horford went down for the year)
            The Hawks deserve a lot of credit for hanging in there and competing after Al Horford tore his pectoral. After not cashing in big last summer, Jeff Teague took a step forward as a Mike Conley-lite kind of player, and they hit gold with Kyle Korver. An upgrade at small forward is sorely needed, and with their cap space and roster flexibility, consider them a dark horse in the Carmelo Anthony sweepstakes.

15. Charlotte HORNETS

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 28
Fantasy MVP = Al Jefferson (has finally found a home in Charlotte)
            Other than Cleveland, the biggest winner in the draft lottery was the Hornets. With Detroit slipping one spot down to ninth in the lottery, they had to forfeit their first round pick to Charlotte. This is a massive development for an up and coming team fresh off a surprise playoff appearance. It’s even better news considering their own pick was already shipped to the Bulls. Charlotte won’t find an elite rim-protecting center at pick eight, but look for them to add some 3-point shooting. Doug McDermott makes a ton of sense here, unless Michael Jordan has flashbacks to drafting another elite Caucasian college player high in the draft (2006, Adam Morrison). Either way, the future finally looks bright for the Hornets.

14. Chicago Bulls

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 2
Fantasy MVP = PF/C Joakim Noah (finally got his due for his defensive prowess this season)
            Dreams of a championship run immediately turned to tanking when Derrick Rose was lost because of a torn meniscus. Unfortunately for Bulls fans, Chicago couldn’t even successfully tank, and ended up fourth in the Eastern Conference. Things aren’t all bad though, as they have the cap space to add a max contract. Chicago will be one of the first teams mentioned when Kevin Love or Carmelo Anthony are discussed. In addition to cap space, the Bulls boast two first round picks at 16 and 19 (you’ll know where that came from if you were paying attention reading about the previous team). We don’t expect Chicago to use both of those picks, with the odds of them using one or both in a sign in trade or to move up in the draft or more likely.

13. Toronto Raptors

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 20
Fantasy MVP = PG Kyle Lowry (most notable All-Star snub this year)
            The young Raptors roared to life after ball-hogging Rudy Gay was sent to Sacramento, but it’s not a guarantee that they bring the same core back next season. Kyle Lowry, who was a monster all season and the catalyst for Toronto’s post-Rudy success, is a free agent. Fortunately for the Raptors, the number of teams that will be looking to spend big money on a point guard is low, so they shouldn’t have to break the bank to keep him. Don’t expect Toronto to make any huge splashes in free agency (because you know, they play in Toronto), as it makes the most sense for them to bring their core back and let them develop for another season.

12. Dallas Mavericks

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 11
Fantasy MVP = PF Dirk Nowitzki (massive bounce back year after injury plagued 2012-13)
            Since winning the 2010-11 title, Dallas has whiffed on landing major free agents, and instead settled for short-term, non-cap clogging contracts. This year that strategy paid off with a spiriting playoff appearance against San Antonio. We should expect the Mavericks to make their usual run at the top free agents, before settling for solid cheap veterans to fill out their roster when they inevitably whiff.

11. Memphis Grizzlies

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 9
Fantasy MVP = PG Mike Conley (steady contributor all season, especially when Marc Gasol was injured)
            Memphis pushed Oklahoma City to the brink in round 1, but an untimely Zach Randolph suspension derailed their hopes of winning a Game 7. We wrote that their lack of perimeter scoring would be their undoing, and that is exactly what happened. Adding a 2 or 3 that can score and stretch the floor is of utmost importance.

10. Golden State Warriors

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 10
Fantasy MVP = PG Stephen Curry (has he finally put health concerns to rest?)
            We’re not sure how switching from one color analyst to another will make a difference barring a major roster shakeup. Golden State is very interested in Kevin Love, but without draft picks to offer and no desire to move Klay Thompson, we don’t see that happening. Regardless of whether or not they are successful in adding Love, moving David Lee to provide better floor spacing is a priority.

9. Houston Rockets

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 4
Fantasy MVP = SG James Harden (not as consistent as last year, but still productive)
            Reportedly, Houston is doing everything in it’s power to construct it’s own Big 3. James Harden and Dwight Howard proved to be an effective duo, and either Anthony or Love make sense as possible additions. Houston could’ve very easily won every game of their first round series against Portland, so unless they add a max-level player, they shouldn’t blow anything up.

8. Brooklyn Nets

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 7
Fantasy MVP = SF Paul Pierce (surprisingly valuable in his first season away from Boston)
            A disappointing season from start to finish doesn’t leave much reason for optimism. They don’t own their first round pick for the next five years, which is insane. They’ll likely lose both Paul Pierce (to another team) and Kevin Garnett (to retirement), but are too far over the salary cap to replace them with elite talent. Swinging a trade would be the only way Brooklyn could do anything, but there aren’t any particularly desirable assets the Nets own. At least Brook Lopez will be back, but there’s no guarantee he returns to his previous All-Star form after a second surgery on his foot. We wouldn’t be shocked at all if the 2017 and 2018 first round picks owed to the Celtics are both in the lottery.

7. Washington Wizards

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 15
Fantasy MVP = PG John Wall (the top point guard in the East)
            This year’s winner of “team that gave it’s fan base the most hope for the future”, Washington is poised to make a jump to an elite level next season. John Wall made the leap to a legit franchise player, and it doesn’t look like Bradley Beal is that far behind him. Wall and Beal could be the top backcourt in the NBA by this time next season. Bringing back Marcin Gortat is vital to Washington’s chances of remaining relevant, but we fully expect that to happen. Their first round pick is headed to Phoenix, and with little cap space any improvement next year will have to come from within.

6. Portland Trail Blazers

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 12
Fantasy MVP = PF LaMarcus Aldridge (showed in playoffs he can carry a title contending team)
            Portland made solid strides this season in winning their first playoff series in fourteen years, and the roster is young enough to still develop more. Having a bench that consists of more than just Mo Williams would be a good start to improving their chances of advancing further in the ridiculous Western Conference.

 



5. Los Angeles Clippers

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 5
Fantasy MVP = PF Blake Griffin (holy free throw percentage Batman!)
            The Clippers had numerous things to feel great about this year (Blake Griffin becoming a legitimate MVP candidate, officially dominating L.A. with the demise of the Lakers), but their insane owner washed most of that away. Due to the likely drawn out legal proceedings that will be necessary to resolve the Clippers ownership situation, they are the hardest team to forecast going into the off-season. Our best guess is there will be no significant player additions, but the same core along with Doc Rivers will return for 2014-15.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (5/16-5/18)

10. Serge Ibaka Definitely Out Against Spurs, Likely Done For the Season  
            Ibaka’s loss is kind of a bummer, but the Thunder might be able to get by with the development of Steven Adams.
 
9. Ed Carpenter Claims Second Straight Indy 500 Pole
            We’ll say this about Ed Carpenter (mostly, because we don’t have anything else to say about him)…he’s got this qualifying thing figured out.

8. Sam Hornish Earns Well Deserved Nationwide Victory at Iowa

            With young bucks like Chase Elliott and Kyle Larson all the rage, opportunities for 34-year old Sam Hornish are getting harder and harder to come by. In only his second race of the season subbing for Kyle Busch in the #54 Monster Toyota, Hornish dominated the field.

7. Kevin Love Intends to Hit Free Agency
            We’re saving conversation about this topic for a column I’d like to write later in the week, but probably won’t.

6. Los Angeles Destroys Anaheim, Advances to Western Conference Finals

            Sadly, future Hall of Famer Teemu Selanne’s last game was spent getting thrashed 6-2.

5. Rangers Pummel Montreal 7-2

            With news that Carey Price won’ return for the rest of this series, we’d like to take a rain check on our “Montreal in 6” prediction.

4. Blackhawks Take Game 1 of Western Conference Finals Over Los Angeles

            Corey Crawford might be the most underrated goalie in THE NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE.
         
3. Jamie McMurray Earns Popular All-Star Race Victory
            For whatever reason, McMurray is on the short list of drivers that if he wins, every other competitor is happy for him. His battle to take the lead with Carl Edwards in the final segment was one of the most memorable moments of the season so far.
         
2. California Chrome One Win Away From Triple Crown
            In even better news, New York officials will allow C.C. to wear his nasal strip, which he has worn every race during his current winning streak.

1. Pacers Look Competent, Defeat Miami in Game 1

            I’d get more excited about this, but Miami has lost every single road Game 1 they’ve played in the Lebron Era. Don’t be shocked at all if they win by 25 points tomorrow night.

NBA Conference Finals Predictions

#1 Indiana Pacers vs. #2 Miami Heat
            With these two team’s history of turning it on and off from game to game, we’ll be lucky to get three close games out of this series. Ultimately, we’ll bet on the team with the best player to prevail. Heat in 6

#1 San Antonio Spurs vs. #2 Oklahoma City Thunder

            This will be the series where we learn how valuable Serge Ibaka actually is. Ultimately, we expect the Thunder to play small with Durant at the four and try to outrun the Spurs, which could relegate Tiago Splitter to the bench. Fortunately for the Spurs, Kawhi Leonard has the physical tools to hang with Durant, and barring another step forward by Steven Adams, there is no one on O.K.C. to protect the rim (sorry Kendrick Perkins supporters, he doesn’t count anymore). We expect Durant and Westbrook to go down swinging, but San Antonio will prevail to set up a NBA Finals rematch. Spurs in 7

NBA Season Wrap-Up: The Lottery Teams

            As the NBA playoffs approach the home stretch, we’ll begin taking a look at all 30 teams to get a quick look at their status heading into the off-season. In addition, we will also honor each team's fantasy basketball MVP (EDITORS NOTE: I had two championship winning teams this year, so sorry in advance for me associating most of these guys with one of those groups). We start with the teams who get to participate in the most anticipated NBA Draft Lottery since 2007.

30. Milwaukee Bucks

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 19
Chance of Winning Lottery = 25%
Fantasy MVP = PG/SG Ramon Sessions (not a lot to choose from here, but Sessions was productive during the fantasy playoffs for head-to-head gamers)
            Milwaukee’s reward for building one of the most comically inept NBA rosters of all-time is the guarantee that they will have a top-4 pick in the draft. Any of the top prospects would be a match (for what it’s worth, the ESPN Lottery Mock Draft has the Bucks taking Andrew Wiggins first if they win the lottery), which makes sense when you’re talking about a team that only won 15 games this year. The Greek Freak showed flashes of brilliance during his rookie campaign, and would be a great compliment to either Wiggins or Jabari Parker. John Henson also had his moments before the calendar hit 2014, but needs to improve his free throw shooting to even 60% in order to earn enough minutes to make an impact. Larry Sanders had a year he would like to forget, but at least he is starting a four-year, $49 million extension in 2014-15. This contract looks like a giant sinkhole for the Bucks, but a top draft pick could change the momentum of the franchise. Milwaukee also has two second rounders coming from the Lakers and Raptors, so there potential haul from the 2014 draft could be substantial if one of those second rounders hits. A first overall pick and a new ownership group could be all the Bucks need to begin the path back to relevance.
         
29. Philadelphia 76ers
No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 29
Chance of Winning Lottery = 19.9%
Fantasy MVP = PG Michael Carter-Williams (bonus points if your league didn't count turnovers)
            The most blatant of this year’s impressive crop of tankers, Philadelphia’s master plan should come to fruition barring a miracle ping-pong ball draw for the Pelicans. New Orleans shipped their first rounder to the 76ers last year in the Jrue Holliday trade, but the pick is top-5 protected. If New Orleans doesn’t draw one of the top three spots, Philadelphia will add the tenth pick in the draft along with wherever their own pick ends up. Michael Carter-Williams did demonstrate that he will be a competent NBA point-guard, and Nerlens Noel will be added to the roster after sitting out 2013-14 recovering from a torn ACL he suffered at Kentucky (he could’ve played after New Years, but Philly wisely left him in street clothes). Wiggins and Parker are the best fits for their first selection, and a power forward or shooting guard would make the most sense at 10. With the exception of Thaddeus Young, no one else on the 2013-14 roster should be counted on to be a major piece of next year’s club. It’s not unrealistic to think that the 76ers could be in the playoffs next year.

28. Orlando Magic

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 25
Chance of Winning Lottery = 15.6% and 0.7% (own rights to Knicks pick)
Fantasy MVP = SG Arron Afflalo (might be a top-5 SG in the league, which sounds crazy)
            Orlando has a similar set-up that Philadelphia has, they just didn’t suck quite as much. Furthermore, they own the Knicks pick no matter where it ends up in the draft, meaning there is a 0.010ish% chance they could end up with the top-2 picks. Victor Oladipo should’ve been rookie of the year, and made steps to establish himself as a NBA point guard. Even with that, Orlando is still reportedly very high on Australian import Dante Exum (Chad Ford has Orlando taking Exum second if Andrew Wiggins is off the board). That would give the Magic a terrific pair of combo guards to build around. Orlando is still owed two more first round picks in 2017, so the window to rebuild the roster in the post D12-era is still wide open. 

27. Utah Jazz

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 27
Chance of Winning Lottery = 10.4%
Fantasy MVP = C Enes Kanter (was terrible almost the whole year, but was a double-double machine for one of my championship winning teams in the playoffs)
            Utah earns the distinction of being the only Western Conference club to blatantly tank, but they still couldn’t out-suck three teams from the East. The Jazz will be receiving Golden State’s first round pick this year, which if the Warriors play defense in the rest of their first round series like they did in Game 2 against the Clippers, will end up in the late-teens. Theoretically, Utah would have the ammunition to move up a couple spots in the draft if it felt the need to do so. Utah has a couple of talented big men in Derrick Favors and Enes Kanter, and Trey Burke’s play was promising, leaving the 2 and the 3 as Utah’s biggest needs. Gordon Hayward has probably played his final game in a Jazz uniform, making Jabari Parker a perfect fit. If the Jazz miss out on Parker or Wiggins, don’t be shocked if they either trade down in the draft or ship one of their big men out to make room for a guy like Julius Randle. 

26. Boston Celtics

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 26
Chance of Winning Lottery = 10.3%
Fantasy MVP = PF Jared Sullinger (I guess)
            Brad Stevens first year as coach went to script. His team played hard and looked prepared every night, but ultimately lost due to a lack of talent. There isn’t any pick among the top eight ranked players that wouldn’t make sense for Boston. Point guard is the only position they have an actually building block, but drafting one would give the Celtics the security to trade Rajon Rondo. No team in the NBA has more extra picks over the next five drafts as the Celtics do, with their first extra one coming from Brooklyn this year. With the quality of talent at the top of the draft, don’t be shocked to see Danny Ainge put a package together and move up if the ping-pong balls don’t bounce Boston’s way in the lottery.

25. Los Angeles Lakers

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 22
Chance of Winning Lottery = 6.3%
Fantasy MVP = PF/C Jordan Hill (another cheap big who went ham for one of my clubs in the playoffs. Thanks Pau Gasol for getting vertigo!)
            I was tempted to type “100%” when listing the Lakers odds of winning the lottery, but rumors that the Lakers are willing to move their first round pick for an established star make it less likely the league would rig the draft for their benefit. It would make the most sense for L.A. to hang on to their pick and draft a big like Joel Embiid or Aaron Gordon, but logic doesn’t always take precedent in Lakerland (example: Kobe Bryant’s $48 million extension he signed after tearing his Achilles). Their 2015 pick is only top-5 protected (otherwise it ends up getting shipped to the Suns), so unless they plan posting the worst record in the league, sucking next year isn’t an option.

24. Sacramento Kings

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 24
Chance of Winning Lottery = 4.3%
Fantasy MVP = PF/C DeMarcus Cousins (one of two dudes who were on both of my teams. Well done Boogie)
            Turmoil is usually the name of the game in Sacramento, and this off-season will be no different. The only silver lining is at least the team isn’t moving for the foreseeable future. DeMarcus Cousins established himself as a truly elite big man, but it’s hard to forecast who will be around him when next season starts. Rudy Gay has a player option for 2014-15, and reportedly is still on the fence on whether or not he’s going to exercise it. Gay was surprisingly efficient upon arriving in Sacramento, so his loss would hurt. PG Isaiah Thomas is also slated to be a restricted free agent, with his chances of returning to the Kings next year probably 50%. If we could guarantee that they would end up with Marcus Smart in the draft we’d sign off on the Kings letting Thomas walk. Ben McLemore showed very few flashes during his rookie campaign, and needs to take a major step forward during his sophomore year push the Kings to the next level. 

23. Detroit Pistons

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 14
Chance of Winning Lottery = 2.8%
Fantasy MVP = C Andre Drummond (hope you were punting free throw percentage)
            The first team on this list that we were incredibly wrong about (we still had Milwaukee in the lottery, so even though we were eleven spots off, we won’t count that as a major error), Detroit’s moves last summer all proved to be backwards. Things are so bad that Joe Dumars is out of a job. Josh Smith demonstrated on roughly 1,923,137 occasions that he can no longer play the 3, so moving Greg Monroe to open up minutes at power forward is priority one. Monroe is a very skilled big man who should garner a ton of interest from across the league. The biggest concern for the Pistons is the Draft Lottery itself, because if any team behind them jumps into the top-3, Detroit’s top-8 protected first round pick will be sent to Charlotte. We wouldn’t be surprised to see the Pistons package their first rounder with Monroe to try to move up in the draft.

22. Cleveland Cavaliers

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 16
Chance of Winning Lottery = 1.7%
Fantasy MVP = PG Kyrie Irving (by default)
            Cleveland made a big deal last year about not wanting to be in the lottery again, but unfortunately drafting Anthony Bennett first was not what the Cavs needed to make a playoff push this season. I still think the pieces are there for Cleveland to have a contending club (especially in the East), but no team had more chemistry issues. Dion Waiters needs to be sent out of town, and teams would be wise to kick the tires on just how cheap they could get him for (when he’s rolling, he can carry an offense). Someone out of the Bennett/Varejao/Thompson needs to be switched out with a rim protector. I’d be willing to bet a large sum of cash that Luol Deng will not return, but at least there is a smidge of hope that Lebron James could return to the team this summer. It would take a loss in the playoffs and him deciding playing with Kyrie Irving for the next four years makes more sense than playing another four with an aging Dwyane Wade, but at least it’s in play.

 



21. New Orleans Pelicans

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 18
Chance of Winning Lottery = 1.1%
Fantasy MVP = PF Anthony Davis (he'll be a top-3 pick for the forseeable future)
            No team had a season equal parts encouraging and discouraging as the New Orleans Pelicans. On one hand, Anthony Davis emerged as a true superstar who projects to be the best power forward in the association for the next decade. On the other, the rest of the roster was ravaged by injuries. The Pellies only have two years to build a contender around Davis before he can hit free agency, so 2014-15 will be a make or break year. During the brief time has healthy, New Orleans looked terrifying offensively when Ryan Anderson was on the court with Davis. He should be back for the start of the regular season. Jrue Holliday also went down, but was held out for tanking purposes the final couple of months of the season. The larger issue is what to do with both Eric Gordon and Tyreke Evans. It didn’t take long for it to become blatantly obvious that these two can’t be on the court at the same time, as both performed at their best when the other was out due to injury. Unfortunately both contracts are virtually immovable. Barring a lottery miracle, New Orleans will not get any help from the first round of the draft. Unless they are chosen for one of the top-3 picks, their selection is going to Philly.

20. Denver Nuggets

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 21
Chance of Winning Lottery = 0.8%
Fantasy MVP = C Timofey Mozgov (thanks for the 30 and 29 or whatever you put up against Golden State on the last Thursday of the regular season)
            There’s nothing worse than the sad feeling of being in NBA no-man’s land, and that’s squarely where the Nuggets sit. Barring an extraordinary result in the lottery, they will likely pick after all of the top-tier players are gone, and other than Ty Lawson (who would best be served as being the third banana on a title contending team), there’s no one here you want to build a title contender around. Next season, there won’t be another team in the NBA who needs to bottom out more than the Nuggets.

19. New York Knicks

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 17
Chance of Winning Lottery = 0% (their pick is going to Orlando)
Fantasy MVP = SF/PF Carmelo Anthony
            Phase I of a nuclear off-season just was covered when Steve Kerr decided coaching the Splash Brothers made more sense than latching on to a bunch of aging ball hogs. Phase II could very well be Carmelo Anthony departing, which with news of a rising salary cap this summer, seems more likely by the day. Fortunately for New York most of their cap contracts on the books expire after next season (see ya later Stoudemire!) so they can look to retool through free agency again.

18. Minnesota Timberwolves
No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 13
Chance of Winning Lottery = 0.6%
Fantasy MVP = PF Kevin Love (actually suited up for the fantasy playoffs, much to my fantasy gaming delight)
            In the NFL you often hear the label “The Good Bad Team”, which relates to clubs that consistently clobber the worst teams in the league but always fail against the top echelon. Gorgui Dieng was a great late season find (especially for one of my fantasy teams), which makes Minnesota’s off-season all the more interesting. Nikola Pekovic was just signed to an extension a year ago, but Dieng makes more long term sense because of his shot blocking ability. How they handle there center situation ultimately could determine whether or not they can upgrade at small forward, and for the long term, keep Kevin Love in town.

17. Phoenix Suns

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 30
Chance of Winning Lottery = 0.5%
Fantasy MVP = PG Goran Dragic (in regards to where he was chosen in drafts, the best bang for the buck among any player in the league)
            Winner of the award for “Team No Credentials Was Most Wrong About Before The Season”, the Suns would probably be in the playoffs if Eric Bledsoe hadn’t missed extended time during the winter for a torn meniscus. Bledsoe and Dragic coexisted beautifully when on the court together, and Phoenix looks to be a big man short of serious title contention. Phoenix is in the rare position of having extra picks (two late first rounders will come from Washington and Indiana, and they will get a Lakers first round pick within the next three years) and cap room, so don’t rule out a surprise signing of Carmelo Anthony.

2013-14 All-Lottery Team

PG = Goran Dragic, Suns
SG = Eric Bledsoe, Suns
SF = Carmelo Anthony, Knicks
PF = Anthony Davis, Pelicans (sorry Kevin Love, better chance of winning a title with The Brow)
C = DeMarcus Cousins, Kings

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (5/9-5/11)

10. No Credentials Fantasy Football Hero Josh Gordon Likely Facing a 2014 Suspension
            We’re guessing he’s a pretty big supporter of legalizing marijuana.

9. Strange Indy Car Road Course Race at Indianapolis Was an Awful Idea

            We’re not sure which was worse, running the cars backwards on the road course, or the standing start that nearly killed the mayor of Indianapolis. Either way, less people showed up for this event than the first two Nationwide races at the Brickyard.

8. Nets Batter Miami From 3-Point Line, Claim Game 3

            Not a good sign for Brooklyn when it takes 60% shooting from downtown to win.

7. Michael Sam Lands With St. Louis Rams
            Of all teams he could’ve landed with, ending up in the same state he went to college and with the chance to learn from Robert Quinn and Chris Long was the best destination Sam could’ve asked for.

6. Paul George Goes Bonkers, Leads Pacers to 3-1 Series Lead Over Washington

            There’s the Paul George who looked like an MVP candidate before the calendar turned to 2014.

5. Rangers Push Penguins to Unlikely Game 7

            Kudos to New York for playing inspired hockey in honor of Martin St. Louis’ mother, who just passed away a few days ago.

4. Bruins Dominate Game 5, Up 3-2 on Montreal

            Through two periods, it looks like we’re going to a Game 7 in Boston.
         
3. Jeff Gordon Barely Holds Off Kevin Harvick, Wins at Kansas
            Career win #89 solidifies Gordon’s standing in the playoffs. Harvick has been the most dominant driver this season, but Gordon has been the most consistent.
         
2. 20-Year Old John Gibson Pitches Shutout in NHL Playoff Debut, Helps Ducks Even Series With Kings
            Gibson had only logged three career NHL games before becoming the youngest goalie in the history of THE NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE to pitch a shutout in his playoff debut. Remarkable.

1. Down 16 in the Fourth, Clippers Rally to Even Series With Thunder

            Just when it looked like we could begin discussing the implications of another Spurs-Thunder Western Conference Final, the Clippers rallied to make a series of it.

NBA Second Round Picks

#1 Indiana Pacers vs. #5 Washington Wizards
            Washington doesn’t possess the sharp-shooting big men Atlanta has, which will not nullify Roy Hibbert. That will be enough for Indiana to advance to the Eastern Conference Finals despite the fact they have no one that can stay in front of John Wall. Pacers in 6
         
#2 Miami Heat vs. #6 Brooklyn Nets
            Miami was the only team to post a first round sweep, and we expect the momentum to carry over against the old Nets. Heat in 5

#2 Oklahoma City Thunder vs. #3 Los Angeles Clippers

            Similar to what we said about Indiana’s second round match-up actually being easier than their first, the Thunder should be much more efficient against the Clippers. Los Angeles doesn’t employ anyone that can check Kevin Durant, and even when fully healthy Chris Paul has a hard time staying in front of Russell Westbrook. Thunder in 6

#1 San Antonio Spurs vs. #5 Portland Trail Blazers

            We’ll forecast that this will be the most entertaining of the second round series, and the most likely to go the full seven games. The extra couple days of rest should give the Trail Blazers a great chance to steal Game 1 in San Antonio, but we ultimately expect the Spurs to pull it together to set up a seemingly inevitable Thunder-Spurs Western Conference Finals. Spurs in 7

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (5/2-5/4)

10. Jon Lester Racks Up 15 Ks
            It was an extremely gaudy number of strikeouts for Lester, who isn’t known for a high strikeout rate. He hasn’t pitched this well in a game since his no-hitter all the way back in 2008.

9. Denny Hamlin Earns First Win of 2014 at Talladega

            Denny can thank his lucky stars that NASCAR didn’t throw a caution flag before he took the white, as there was no way he would’ve held the lead on the backstretch during the final lap.

8. Pacers Survive 3-Point Chucking Hawks
            Atlanta set NBA records for most threes in a series and a single playoff game Saturday, but that wasn’t enough to overcome a Pacers squad that sort of look like it figured things out. We’ll find out when they face John Wall and the Wizards tonight.

7. Thunder Outrun Z-Bo-Less Grizzlies

            Marc Gasol wasn’t able to clog up the paint without his fellow star big man, and Oklahoma City took full advantage.

6. California Chrome Dominates Kentucky Derby

            California Chrome couldn’t have asked for a better set of circumstances for the Derby, but that’s because he’s a horse and he can’t ask questions.

5. Brooklyn Survives Late Raptors Rally, Advances to Second Round Date With Miami

            We were pulling for the Raptors, but ultimately Brooklyn will deliver the greater test for Miami than the young Toronto club would have. The Nets are 4-0 against the Heat this season.

4. Marion Gaborik Ties Game Late, Then Delivers Kings Overtime Victory Over Ducks

            When he’s engaged, there are few snipers more effective than Gaborik in THE NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE. Saturday night, Gaborik was engaged.
         
3. Bruins Rack Up Four Third Period Goals, Even Series With Montreal
            It’s hard to remember another hockey team that has as much of a flair for the dramatic as the Bruins have had over the past five years or so. Saturday was another memorable comeback, which ensures they wouldn’t travel to Montreal in a 0-2 hole.
         
2. Clippers Outlast Warriors in Game 7 Shootout
            Doc Rivers looked more excited Saturday night than he was when the Celtics won the title six years ago. I guess with all his team has dealt with over the past week, it was warranted.

1. Damian Lillard Delivers the Dagger, Eliminates Houston

            0.9 seconds was all Lillard needed to send the Rockets home for the summer. Blazers-Rockets may not have lasted the full seven games, but from start to finish it was the most entertaining series of the first round.

50% Chance of Being Accurate 2014 Kentucky Derby Preview

            Incredibly, this is our third annual Kentucky Derby preview. I’ve posted the video of the 2012 Derby in this space on several occasions, so it won’t kill us to watch it one more time.

            Last year, the horse we picked led for about five seconds before Orb blew it away coming off the final turn (I don’t remember the name, I just know it had something to do with war veterans). Despite last year’s failure, we’re still following the same rules that led us to choose I’ll Have Another two years ago. They are as follows.

1.                      The horse has to have a cool name. Kind of like pro athletes and actors, if the horse doesn’t have a name, he doesn’t have a game.

2.                      I want some good odds. I’d rather win $600 on a $20 investment betting on Vicar’s in Trouble than $50 on a $20 wager on California Chrome.

3.                      If a horse covers the first two bases, I needed to find at least one writer on-line who thought that horse could win.

            Without further ado, our rankings. Please note that with the exception of the horse we chose to win, the odds listed for the rest of the field are what the betting lines opened at. I’m too lazy to change all of them (sorry!).

20. Danza (10-1)

            Holy shit, we have a horse named after none other than Tony Danza (EDITORS NOTE: We didn’t actually confirm whether this was true or not, but it would be amusing if that was the truth). I don’t like Tony Danza.

19. General A Rod (15-1)

            Loosely associating your horse with Alex Rodriguez isn’t a good idea these days.

18. Vicar’s In Trouble (30-1)

            A shockingly prophetic name, as Vicar drew the rail.

17. Uncle Sigh (30-1)

            Equal parts offbeat and uninspiring, this could be the weirdest name for a horse in the three years we’ve done this.

16. Commanding Curve (50-1)

            Whether its referencing Satchel Paige’s famous out pitch or Kim Kardashian’s backside, we’re not ready to plunk $20 on C.C.

15. Hoppertunity (withdrawn)

            An annual highlight of this post is making fun of Bob Baffert, but kudos to him for pulling one of the favorites out of the Derby due to a sore foot.

14. Harry’s Holiday (50-1)

            What’s the nature of Harry’s Holiday? Is it a Christmas spent in the Caribbean? New Year’s Eve in Times Square? Playing hooky from work? I want answers.

13. Samraat (15-1)

            I have a bias against words that feature the same vowel used consecutively.

12. We Miss Artie (50-1)

            Either the owner is a Howard Stern fan who misses Artie Lange, or there was a lost family member named Artie. No Credentials offers our condolences.

11. Tapiture (15-1)

            There is a tapestry we have in our bedroom that acts like a pseudo curtain. Often when we pull it down at night, it falls down. I hate this tapestry.

10. Intense Holiday (12-1)

            No Credentials forecasts a 50% chance that the name of this horse originates from adultery.

9. Wildcat Red (15-1)

            It should be international law that any ski-bum bar has a patron nicknamed Wildcat Red.

8. Medal Count (20-1)

            Whether referencing Olympic athletes or on-line gamers, this is the first participant I considered picking to win.

7. Ride on Curlin (15-1)

            Is it the name of a lost B-Side from Led Zeppelin III, or a racehorse? Apparently, the latter.

6. California Chrome (5-2)

            On paper, he’s the class of the field by a landslide. Fortunately, the Derby isn’t run on paper.

5. Chitu (20-1)

            Initially ranked him first, but deeper research shows he’s not a closer. This is a bummer, because we wanted to bet on a horse whose name could’ve been the name of a Rush song in the late ‘70s.

4. Wicked Strong (8-1)

            If Wicked Strong was named to honor the victims of the Boston Marathon, why didn’t they just name it Boston Strong? That coupled with it’s outside post position give us reason not to wager on him.

3. Vinceremos (30-1)

            This year’s winner of coolest name (no one else in the field could share their moniker with a Transformer), but unfortunately we couldn’t find one writer that would even mention him as a contender.

2. Candy Boy (20-1
            Candy Boy brings me back to 50 Cent’s heyday. That’s probably not a good thing.

1. Dance With Fate (14-1)

            There’s a lot to like here. For starters, he’s not simply racing, he’s literally dancing with fucking fate. Second, he’s among the top closers in the field, which typically plays well on the longer Churchill Downs track. Lastly, after opening at 20-1, his odds have dropped to 14-1, and he could be in single digits before the race starts tomorrow. Dance With Fate is our choice to take down the 2014 Kentucky Derby.