NBA Mid-Season Rankings

30. Charlotte Bobcats
Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 30
            Charlotte is horrendous, but at least Kemba Walker and Michael Kidd-Gilchrist look like competent NBA players.

29. Cleveland Cavaliers

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 20
            A promising start has been ruined by injuries to Kyrie Irving and Anderson Varejao. Similar to Charlotte, at least they can take solace in realizing that Tristan Thompson wasn’t a bust.

28. Washington Wizards

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 27
            Washington gets bonus points for playing hard despite an 0-14 start.    

27. Orlando Magic

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 29
            Orlando drops to 29^th if they don’t dump J.J. Redick for cap relief and a pick by the trade deadline.

26. Phoenix Suns

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 25
            True Story… I messed up and forgot to copy and paste my pre-season write-up for the Suns in the NBA preview (click here for proof). Trust me when I say my assessment would’ve been pretty spot-on with what has transpired so far.

25. Sacramento Kings

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 24
            Having been a bandwagon supporter of the Webber/Bibby/Divac era Kings in the early ‘00s, I’ll be sad to see the NBA leave Sacramento.

24. Detroit Pistons

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 28

            Detroit looks to have stumbled into something special with the pairing of Greg Monroe and Andre Drummond. They’re a stud perimeter player away from Eastern Conference playoff contention.

23. Toronto Raptors

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 26
            If Jose Calderon and Andrea Bargnani aren’t packaged together to bring an elite player north of the border, the front office deserves walking papers.

22. New Orleans Hornets

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 19
            Another team besieged by injuries, but even more importantly, the sad news that they will be called the New Orleans Pelicans next year.

21. Minnesota Timberwolves

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 21
            The fact that Minnesota is still within range of the eighth seed in the west while playing almost every game without Kevin Love or Ricky Rubio is the most underrated accomplishment of the 2012-13 season.

20. Dallas Mavericks

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 16
            Wisely punting the season to clear cap space, Dallas is the most likely destination for Dwight Howard if he opts out of his contract from Los Angeles.

19. Boston Celtics

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 4
            What happens when you have no size (Garnett is a warrior, and Sullinger has been a pleasant surprise, but they can only do so much), no dominant scorer (Pierce can’t do it every night, and neither can Garnett), and no 3-point shooting (Jason Terry has been a disappointment)? The 2012-13 Boston Celtics. Throw in the loss of Rajon Rondo (which won’t be as devastating as folks are making it out to be, the dude still can’t shoot. A little floor spacing won’t hurt), and Boston will do well to hold on to a playoff berth.

18. Philadelphia 76ers

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 11
            Andrew Bynum’s impending return (he’ll be effective, the dude is playing for a new contract) will lift Philadelphia into the Eastern Conference playoff picture. 

17. Los Angeles Lakers

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 3
            In a perfect world, Los Angeles ships out Pau Gasol for multiple 3-point shooters, but with no assurances that Dwight Howard will re-sign with them during the summer, shipping out their other seven footer is a risky proposition.

16. Portland Trail Blazers

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 17
            Damian Lillard is the likely rookie of the year (barring a monster second half by Anthony Davis), but Portland is a big man and a bench away from serious contention.

15. Utah Jazz

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 22
            Utah still needs to trade one or both of the Al Jefferson/Paul Millsap duo, but their surprising performance in the West has delayed such a move from occurring.

14. Milwaukee Bucks

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 18
            Milwaukee looks frisky enough to give a #2 or #3 seed a run for their money in a first round series.

13. Atlanta Hawks

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 14
            Whatever happens this year is gravy for the Hawks, as they have their payroll in a place that will be able to take on a max contract during the off-season.

12. Houston Rockets

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 23
            The pre-season rank was established before the James Harden trade, so we would’ve been closer to the 15 range if ranking after the swap. There isn’t a team in more dire need of a power forward than the Houston Rockets. They should be calling Utah everyday.

11. Golden State Warriors

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 15
            Stephen Curry is the biggest All-Star snub of the past decade. Then again, he probably would’ve rolled his ankle during the game.

10. Brooklyn Nets

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 9
            It’s been a weird year for New York’s newest team, but things have improved since Avery Johnson was kicked to the curb.

9. Indiana Pacers

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 10
            It’s hard to believe I’m going to type this, but the Pacers will be worse off when Danny Granger returns, unless he embraces a sixth man role.

8. Denver Nuggets

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 8
            After a hellacious early season schedule, Denver has steadily climbed the Western Conference standings. Lack of a primary scorer will rear its ugly head come playoff time.

7. New York Knicks

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 13
            You have to like the Knicks formula of “one stud player, one stud defender, and a bunch of dudes that chuck 3s”. If they get hot in the playoffs, it won’t matter who they play.

6. Memphis Grizzlies

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 6
            The recent salary dump they dropped on Cleveland ensures that the Randolph-Gay-Gasol-Conley core will get one more crack at the playoffs.

5. Chicago Bulls
Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 12
            How Chicago has managed to stay within 3 games of the top seed in the East without Derrick Rose is truly miraculous. If he comes back at anything close to 100%, this will be the greatest obstacle for Miami in their quest to return to the Finals.

4. Los Angeles Clippers

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 7
            Their bench is fantastic, but will that really matter come playoff time when rotations get smaller? A move to acquire an elite wing player (perhaps consummated with a trade package centered around Erik Bledsoe) would raise the Clippers to another level come playoff time.

3. San Antonio Spurs

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 5
            Another year, the same old boring ass, competitive as hell Spurs.

2. Miami Heat

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 1
            Dwyane Wade looks more mortal by the day, and the lack of rebounding is troubling enough to drop Miami into the two hole.

1. Oklahoma City Thunder

Pre-Season No Credentials Rank = 2

 

 
            Here’s your best team in the NBA. They haven’t missed a beat without James Harden, as Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook have done more than enough to make up for his absence. Serge Ibaka has blossomed into a legitimate third option on offense (to go along with his hyperactive shot blocking), and Kevin Martin has provided plenty of scoring off the bench. The roster is flexible enough to play big (Perkins-Ibaka-Durant-Sefolosha-Westbrook) or small (Ibaka-Collison-Durant-Martin-Westbrook). If they can solve the Miami Heat riddle, this will be your 2013 championship winning team.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (1/25-1/27)

10. Danica Patrick and Ricky Stenhouse Announce That They Are Dating
            I have high hopes for Stenhouse, so hopefully this doesn’t derail his career.

9. Juan Montoya Clinches Another Rolex 24 Win For Chip Ganassi

            I’m not emotionally invested in sports car racing (the cars are cool, but they get to spread out for my liking), but mentioning Montoya is the perfect excuse to show what happened to him last February at Daytona.

 

8. Lebron Celebrates $75,000 Half-Court Shot With a Fan

            Thanks to the lovely tax code, Michael Drysch will only get to keep $53,000 of it.

7. Saturday Night Live Mocks Ray Lewis

            The only thing this skit missed was a steroids reference.

 

6. Villanova Stuns #3 Syracuse

            Here is this week’s “Major College Basketball Upset That No Credentials Doesn’t Give A Shit About”, sponsored by VAGISIL.

5. Kobe Learns To Pass

            If this were still 2012, I’d say it was another sure sign of an impending apocalypse.
         
4. Northern Illinois Scores Four First Half Points In a Division I Men’s Basketball Game
            Thankfully, they exploded for 21 points in the second.

3. Ashley Wagner Wins U.S. Figure Skating Championship

            I don’t know where my life went wrong, but I watched roughly an hour of this event, and was thoroughly entertained.

2. Carmelo Drops 42 On the Hawks

            Anthony had been crushing the field goal percentage of my second fantasy basketball team for weeks, so Sunday’s explosion was much appreciated.

1. Celtics Outlast Heat in Double Overtime, Then Find Out Rondo Has Torn ACL
            A potentially season saving win was marred by the news that Rajon Rondo blew out his knee in Friday night’s double-overtime win over the Hawks.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (1/18-1/20)

10. Hall of Famers Stan Musial, Earl Weaver Are Remembered
            A rough weekend for baseball, as we lost the most underrated superstar in MLB history, and a manager who won 1,480 games.

9. Manti Te’o Denies Involvement in Girlfriend Hoax

            The Te’o story is so bizarre No Credentials hasn’t known what to do with it. We’ll finally have a Te’o post by the end of the week.

8. Michael Vick Doesn’t Want to Play For New York Jets

            Evidently, Vick doesn’t want to risk having a picture of him tattooed on Rex Ryan’s ass.

7. Syracuse “Upsets” #1 Louisville

            This is the “Big Time College Basketball Upset That No Credentials Doesn’t Give A Shit About Of The Week”, sponsored by Dollar Tree.

6. Butler Capitalizes on Horrendous In-Bounds Pass, Stuns Gonzaga

            No Credentials managed to catch the last 45 seconds of this game live, which briefly reminded me why I used to like college basketball. Then I remembered some of the participants were born in 1995, and quickly began hating it again.

5. Durant Drops 52 on the Mavericks

            Kevin Durant has scored 150 points in the last seven days, which for those not in the know, is a lot of fucking points.
          
4. The NHL Returns
            Part of me is wondering if the league’s incompetence paid off, as the NHL put up its highest regular season television ratings in over a decade Saturday.

3. Bernard “Patriot Killer” Pollard Strikes Again
            In case you were wondering what would happen if you walked by Bernard Pollard wearing a New England Patriots jersey, here’s four videos to show it wouldn’t end well.

 

 

 

            Pollard consistently destroying Patriots year after year is one of the most underrated, bizzarre occurences of the past decade.

2. Ravens Outscore Patriots 21-0 In Second Half, Win AFC Championship

            A strange game where New England didn’t capitalize on their scoring chances in the first half, and Baltimore was flawless in the second. Improbably, the Ravens have knocked off Peyton Manning and Tom Brady in back to back weeks to ensure that Ray Lewis will end his career playing in a Super Bowl.

1. Down 17-0, 49ers Rally to Stun Falcons
            I’m 96% certain that Alex Smith wouldn’t of led San Francisco back from a 17-0 deficit to win the NFC Championship. Harbaugh’s midseason quarterback change could go down with Belichick sticking with Brady over Bledsoe as one of the greatest substitutions in NFL history.

Half-Baked 2013 NHL Season Preview

            Against all odds, the NHL season is starting in less than 48 hours. No Credentials thought it had written an accurate season preview last Halloween, but alas games will actually be played. In honor of the NHL teams spending roughly 35 seconds preparing for the season, No Credentials spent no time researching anything for the following preview (short of participating in one fantasy draft last Sunday).

Any Team Can Win The Stanley Cup

            Hockey is a fucked up sport. Cramming a 48 regular season into three months is ludicrous. It won’t take much of a hot streak for any club to sneak into the playoffs and make a Kings-esque run through the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Except the Columbus Blue Jackets

            They suck.

Fear The Russians

            Chill out baby-boomers, we’re not talking about the Cold War. The majority of Russians played in the KHL, which should alleviate any rust. However, when the NHL regular season ends, Evgeni Malkin will have played 91 games (assuming he’s healthy), which is nine more than the typical NHL regular season. Don’t be shocked if the Russian players fade come playoff time.

Tim Thomas Will Not Be Missed

               Last time I remember seeing the Bruins on the ice, the Capitals were upsetting them in the first round. Tukka Rask will at least deliver a playoff appearance.

Sidney Crosby Will Not Have A Head Injury

            The best benefit of the lockout? There are 34 fewer games for Sidney Crosby to get a concussion in.

The Red Wings Will Be Weird To Watch Without Niklas Lidstrom

            Lidstrom wasn’t the flashiest player, but he was the most reliable defenseman in the league for the past 20 years. He will not be easily replaced.

Don’t Buy Stock In The Minnesota Wild

            I had the Wild pegged as a bust before the season, but then inexplicably drafted both of their goalies, Gary Suter, and Mikka Koivu in the No Credentials Fantasy Hockey League.

We’ll Pick Pittsburgh To Win The East

            A full year of a healthy Crosby and Malkin make Pittsburgh the most talented team in the East.

We’ll Pick St. Louis To Win The West

            While St. Louis lacks a bona-fide superstar, they go three lines deep, and have the strongest defense in the league. Depth works when you’re in a compressed season.

Screw It, We’ll Pick The Blues To Hoist The Stanley Cup

            Remember, it’s going to be a messed up season.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (1/11-1/13)

10. Browns Hire Norv Turner as Offensive Coordinator
            I’m glad to see that a NFL team will still employ Norv. He’s a joy to bet against.

9. Philadelphia Eagles Interview Brian Billick For Eight Hours

            Reportedly, Billick talked for seven of them.

8. Albert Pujols Signs On For World Baseball Classic

            Before stumbling over this story, I forgot that the WBC was still an event.

7. Dale Jr. Sparks 12-Car Pileup During Testing Session at Daytona

            Folks not apart of Junior Nation may be quick to point out that Junior appears to be in mid-season form.

6. #2 Michigan Loses at Ohio State

5. #1 Duke Shocked By NC State
            A special doubleheader for this week’s “Big-Time College Basketball Upsets That I Don’t Give A Shit About”, sponsored by Wonderbread.
         
4. Patriots Destroy Texans Again, But Lose Gronkowski For the Season
            Unfortunately for New England, it wasn’t Danny Woodhead who broke his arm.

3. Colin Kaepernick Goes Bonkers, Leaders 49ers Rout of Green Bay
            Doing his best Vince Young in the 2006 Rose Bowl impersonation, Kaepernick destroyed the Packers with his arm and legs. He has raised the ceiling of the 49ers immensely.

2. Falcons Try to Give Game Away, Still Beat Seahawks

            No team has ever deserved to lose more than the Atlanta Falcons did Sunday. They squandered a 20-point fourth quarter lead, which if Seattle would’ve held on, would’ve been the worst fourth quarter collapse in the history of THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. After an improbable go ahead field goal, they botched a squib kick, giving the Seahawks a chance to only gain 15 yards and have a chance for a field goal. We’ll see if karma strikes the Falcons when San Francisco comes to town this Sunday.

1. Manning Interception Sets Up Improbable Ravens Win

            Baltimore is doing everything it can to fill the “Team of Destiny” role that has been required of past Super Bowl champions the past few years. If it wasn’t for Trindon Holliday’s record setting return day, this game wouldn’t of been close.

NFL Divisional Round Picks

Baltimore Ravens (10-6) @ Denver Broncos (13-3)
Saturday, 4:30pm, CBS, O/U 46.5
            The Ray Lewis Farewell Tour ends here.

DEN 35, BAL 17

BRONCOS (-10) over Ravens

Green Bay Packers (11-5) @ San Francisco 49ers (11-4-1)

Saturday, 8:00pm, FOX, O/U 45
            For our money, the best game on the weekend slate. It will take a superhuman performance by Aaron Rodgers to overcome the lack of offensive line play against San Francisco’s terrifying front seven. We predict he will come up just short.   
     
SF 31, GB 27
49ERS (-3) over Packers
 

Seattle Seahawks (11-5) @ Atlanta Falcons (12-4)

Sunday, 1:00pm, FOX, O/U 46
            Before I pick Atlanta to win another playoff game, I need to actually see them do it. It’s not hard to envision multiple Matt Ryan interceptions swinging the outcome of this game.

SEA 38, ATL 21

Seahawks (+2.5) over FALCONS
 

Houston Texans (12-4) @ New England Patriots (12-4)

Sunday, 4:30pm, CBS, O/U 48
            A week ago I said that Houston would sneak past Cincinnati before getting obliterated by New England again. I stand by that prediction.

NE 42, HOU 24

PATRIOTS (-9.5) over Texans

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (1/4-1/6)

10. Dwight Howard Rips Teammates
            Translation…Dwight thinks Kobe is a real asshole.

9. Browns Whiff in Attempt to Land Chip Kelly

            I can’t figure out how the hottest NFL coaching prospect would turn down the chance to coach a 29-year old second year pro quarterback.

8. Some Guy Named Alan Anderson Scores 27 Points For My Fantasy B-Ball Team

            You have to love it when you strike waiver wire gold.

7. United States Wins Gold at the World Junior Championships

            Incredibly, this wasn’t the best news of the weekend for American hockey fans.

6. Johnny Manziel Destroys Oklahoma

            Should we just cancel the 2013 college football season and give the national championship to Texas A&M right now?

5. Packers Dominate Ponder-less Vikings

            For a long time, I wondered what would happen if Joe Webb got to start in a big game. Sadly for Vikings’ fans, we found out.
          
4. Arian Foster Drags Texans Into Divisional Round
            Of the four bye week teams, none is more excited than the New England Patriots. They’ll deliver the knockout blow to the struggling Texans this weekend.

3. Holy Shit, the NHL is Back
            Like finding a $20 in the wash, hockey will return sometime after Martin Luther King Day. It’s hard to tell who’s more excited about it, Canada or the NBC Sports Network.

2. Mike Shanahan Tries to Sacrifice Robert Griffin III

            There’s no other way to put what happened Sunday afternoon in Washington. You can probably write off RGIII for at least half of the 2013 season.

1. Ray Lewis Wins Final Home Game

            Lewis delivered the goods, racking up 13 tackles in his final appearance in Baltimore. The Ravens will have to win two on the road to make it to the Super Bowl.

NFL Wildcard Round Picks

Cincinnati Bengals (10-6) @ Houston Texans (12-4)
Saturday, 4:30pm, NBC, O/U 43
            Here’s what will happen with the Houston Texans over the course of the next week. Everyone and their brother are picking Cincinnati to win outright based on Houston’s late season swoon. The Texans are going to proceed to beat Cincinnati by two touchdowns, leading to all the talking heads screaming, “THE TEXANS ARE BACK. THEY WILL BE A FORCE IN THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE.” Then, they will lose by 30 to the Patriots.

HOU 31, CIN 17       

TEXANS (-4.5) over Bengals
 

Minnesota Vikings (10-6) @ Green Bay Packers (11-5)

Saturday, 8:00pm, NBC, O/U 46
            Too much Christian Ponder in this game counteracts the presence of Adrian Peterson on the road at Lambeau. Also, Green Bay should have a bye if it weren’t for what the replacement refs did to them in Seattle, so karma is on their side.

GB 34, MIN 20

PACKERS (-8) over Vikings
 

Indianapolis Colts (11-5) @ Baltimore Ravens (10-6)

Sunday, 1:00pm, CBS, O/U 47
            I’m willing to bet that at least half of the Baltimore roster knew that Ray Lewis was going to retire, so I’m not buying the belief that added motivation exists. That and you don’t bet against #CHUCKSTRONG, at least in the wildcard round.

IND 20, BAL 17

Colts (+7) over RAVENS

Seattle Seahawks (11-5) @ Washington Redskins (10-6)

Sunday, 4:30pm, FOX, O/U 46
            Loyal readers (all six of you) will note that this match-up features the two teams I made fun of the most during the preseason. I’m pretty sure I predicted both teams to win eight games combined (oops!), so it’s only natural that they play each other in what some talking heads are predicting is the real NFC Championship Game. I won’t go that far, but this pick comes down to simple logic. How is a 3-5 road team favored to win at Washington?

WAS 27, SEA 21

REDSKINS (+3) over Seahawks

Romo Is What He Is

          People have asked why I haven’t written an angry, anti-Romo rant since yet another “stunning” season-ending loss for the Dallas Cowboys. I received the most texts and messages about a sporting event after Sunday night since the Red Sox beat the Yankees in the 2004 ALCS (for anyone in New England, that was the ultimate call your friends and family moment involving a sports team). The general public seemed genuinely surprised that Dallas could lose another game like this. My response…have you been watching this team for the last six and a half years?

            After seeing the same outcome occur several different ways, you become conditioned to expect it. Tony Romo has been conditioning Dallas fans for gut wrenching losses ever since his infamous botched snap in Seattle. The next year it was the home-playoff loss against the Giants (which hurt the most, because that was the most talented Cowboys team of the Romo era), followed by the week 17-blowout loss in Philadelphia that ended their 2008 season. The only thing to expect when Romo is under center is the unexpected. I was genuinely shocked when he dropped the snap in Seattle, but only mildly irritated when he throw an errant pass into the flat against Washington. Romo is what he is, and to expect any more of him is foolish.