Half-Baked 2013 NHL Season Preview

            Against all odds, the NHL season is starting in less than 48 hours. No Credentials thought it had written an accurate season preview last Halloween, but alas games will actually be played. In honor of the NHL teams spending roughly 35 seconds preparing for the season, No Credentials spent no time researching anything for the following preview (short of participating in one fantasy draft last Sunday).

Any Team Can Win The Stanley Cup

            Hockey is a fucked up sport. Cramming a 48 regular season into three months is ludicrous. It won’t take much of a hot streak for any club to sneak into the playoffs and make a Kings-esque run through the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Except the Columbus Blue Jackets

            They suck.

Fear The Russians

            Chill out baby-boomers, we’re not talking about the Cold War. The majority of Russians played in the KHL, which should alleviate any rust. However, when the NHL regular season ends, Evgeni Malkin will have played 91 games (assuming he’s healthy), which is nine more than the typical NHL regular season. Don’t be shocked if the Russian players fade come playoff time.

Tim Thomas Will Not Be Missed

               Last time I remember seeing the Bruins on the ice, the Capitals were upsetting them in the first round. Tukka Rask will at least deliver a playoff appearance.

Sidney Crosby Will Not Have A Head Injury

            The best benefit of the lockout? There are 34 fewer games for Sidney Crosby to get a concussion in.

The Red Wings Will Be Weird To Watch Without Niklas Lidstrom

            Lidstrom wasn’t the flashiest player, but he was the most reliable defenseman in the league for the past 20 years. He will not be easily replaced.

Don’t Buy Stock In The Minnesota Wild

            I had the Wild pegged as a bust before the season, but then inexplicably drafted both of their goalies, Gary Suter, and Mikka Koivu in the No Credentials Fantasy Hockey League.

We’ll Pick Pittsburgh To Win The East

            A full year of a healthy Crosby and Malkin make Pittsburgh the most talented team in the East.

We’ll Pick St. Louis To Win The West

            While St. Louis lacks a bona-fide superstar, they go three lines deep, and have the strongest defense in the league. Depth works when you’re in a compressed season.

Screw It, We’ll Pick The Blues To Hoist The Stanley Cup

            Remember, it’s going to be a messed up season.

NHL Conference Finals Preview

            I’ve been a casual Bruins fan since the days of Cam Neely, Adam Oates, and Ray Bourque (that was a killer threesome in NHLPA ’93 for Super Nintendo). When things for Boston were so bad that they traded Bourque to Colorado so he would have a chance to win the Stanley Cup, I cheered for the Avalanche (because that’s what every Bruins fan did). The failure of the Joe Thornton-era Bruins against Montreal before the lockout were devastating to the franchise, ultimately leading the club to trade Thornton a month into the 2005-06 season (the Bruins were pretty solid in NHL ’03, but unfortunately, Byron Dafoe was a much more effective video game goalie than a real life one). Thornton going on to win the MVP the very same year he was traded seemed to doom the Bruins to a decade of futility.

            Which makes where we are today all the more amazing. Boston enters its first Conference Finals since 1992 tomorrow night when they face the Tampa Bay Lightning. Tim Thomas (who is the biggest reason Boston has been able to rebound from the Thornton trade to make the playoffs the past four seasons) is squaring off against fellow old-timer Dwayne Roloson in a battle of two ancient goaltenders that are on a roll. Thomas turned in a masterpiece in Game 3 of the Flyers series, stopping 46 straight shots after surrendering two early goals to help Boston steal the game in double overtime. Roloson has been on fire ever since Tampa fell behind 3 games to 1 against Pittsburgh. Often hockey comes down to which team has the hotter goalie. In this case, both old dudes cancel each other out.

            Where this series will be won is in the match-up between the Boston defensemen against Tampa Bay’s highly skilled forwards. Vinny Lecavalier and Martin St. Louis are playing almost as well as they did during Tampa’s 2004 Stanley Cup Finals run. Steven Stamkos has cemented his status as one of the game’s elite. Journeyman Sean Bergenheim has come out of nowhere to lead the league in playoff goals scored. Boston has a pretty deep defensive unit, but I’m not sure they will be able to contain the Lightning attack for a seven game series.

            This year’s run by the Bruins has been a thrill. I’ve been sucked in since Game 3 of the first round against Montreal. In my heart, I want to see Boston win, but in my head I don’t see it happening. Roloson will give Boston a much tougher test than the revolving door in goal the Flyers were throwing at them. Look for Tampa’s superior firepower to prevail.

PREDICTION = Lightning in 7   

Overconfident Stanley Cup Conference Semi-Finals Picks

            After watching the exciting end to the Bruins-Canadiens series, I’m ready to prepare my Stanley Cup Playoffs 2^nd Round picks. I’m feeling pretty good about myself (at least when it comes to picking NHL playoff series) after correctly choosing six of the eight winners. Furthermore, I nailed the correct distance for three of the Eastern Conference series. The only one I was way off on was the Red Wings-Coyotes series, but you can chalk that up to deep-seeded disdain for Detroit (planted by their vicious playoff battles with the Colorado Avalanche in the mid-90s. I was a front-runner as a child, so I attached myself to the Roy-Sakic-Forsberg group), and Jimmy Howard screwing my fantasy team’s save percentage this past season. Without further ado…

EASTERN CONFERENCE

#1 Washington Capitals vs. #5 Tampa Bay Lightning

            I’d love to pick Tampa Bay in this series. Goalie Dwayne Roloson is roughly 67 years old, but somehow still finds a way to stop the puck. He stoned the Penguins during the final minutes of Game 7. Lastly, take a look at the dude’s picture. If you look up the word goalie in the dictionary, there should be Dwayne Roloson’s face right next to it. However, my love for Roloson does not change the fact that Washington is a superior team that has also had the luxury of extra days off. I’m predicting the Capitals to easily advance to the conference finals.

            PREDICTION = Capitals in 5

#2 Philadelphia Flyers vs. #3 Boston Bruins

            Last year, Boston had a 3-0 series lead over Philly in the conference semi-finals before pulling off an epic choke job. It’s fitting that they get a chance to exercise those demons. Boston should have an easier time scoring going up against whomever Philadelphia throws in net as opposed to Carey Price.

            PREDICTION = Bruins in 6

WESTERN CONFERENCE

#1 Vancouver Canucks vs. #5 Nashville Predators

            Vancouver was supposed to be the favorite going into the playoffs this season, and looked the part after winning the first three games against Chicago. Following three straight losses, a narrow overtime escape in Game 7, and a goalie controversy, and now we are looking at a very shaky club. Throw in an underrated Predators team, and this has all the makings for an upset. Just ask the Anaheim Ducks how hard it is going up against a goalie named Pekka.

            PREDICTION = Predators in 7

#2 San Jose Sharks vs. #3 Detroit Red Wings

            For my money, this is the best of the four conference semi-final series. All the reasons I picked against Detroit during the first round still apply here. Throw in a strong Sharks club that has the look of a team finally ready to succeed in the playoffs, and I’ll sign off on San Jose taking the series (that means all of you should go bet money on Detroit. Right now. They’re a guaranteed winner).

            PREDICTION = Sharks in 7