Sunday, June 26, 2011

The Ultimate NASCAR Starting Line-Up, Part 3

            After reading Ed Hinton’s 12-part series on who would make the field of the ultimate Indianapolis 500 (if you like open-wheel racing check it out here), I was inspired to construct a similar list for NASCAR. This is part three of a four part series that will list who would make the ultimate 43-car starting grid. If you missed part 1, click here. Part 2 of the ultimate line-up can be found here.
            To spice it up a little bit, I tried to look at individual seasons as opposed to overall careers. For example, instead of simply plugging in Richard Petty, I am taking Petty from the year that I thought was his best. A driver could only qualify once for the list (this prevents five years of Jimmie Johnson from clogging up the ranks). In order to make it, a driver had to accomplish at least one of four things.

  1. Win the Winston/Nextel/Sprint Cup Championship
  2. Win a bunch of races
  3. Have some form of cultural impact (in other words, does anyone remember them?)
  4. Have been the main character in a motion picture 
Without further ado, here is the third set of 11 drivers to make the cut.

22. Bobby Labonte, 2000, #18 Interstate Batteries Pontiac
            Watching Bobby Labonte race the past five years makes it hard to believe that just 11 years ago he won the Winston Cup. Labonte held off Dale Earnhardt for the series championship in what turned out to be Dale’s final full season.


21. Junior Johnson, 1965, #26 Ford
            Johnson is better known as one of the most infamous bootleggers in the south back in the late 1940s and early ‘50s. Speeding away from the police translated well to the racetrack for Johnson. He never competed for the season championship, but still managed to collect 50 career victories. His best season was 1965, when he won 13 of the 36 races he entered. Even more impressive is the fact that he led 3,984 of the 7,144 laps he drove that season (for the mathematically challenged, that means he led almost 56% of the laps he raced). Johnson went on to become a very successful car owner, first winning three championships with Cale Yarborough in the 1970s, and then three more with Darrell Waltrip in the ‘80s.

20. Alan Kulwicki, 1992, #7 Hooter’s Ford
            It’s impossible to relate Alan Kulwicki to any other modern day athlete (much less another race car driver) because there simply has been no one else like him. Kulwicki sold almost all of his worldly possessions in order to move from Wisconsin to Charlotte (which for those not in the know, is where you want to be if you want to have any kind of NASCAR career). He was the first Winston Cup driver who had a bachelor’s degree in engineering. Alan was able to win the Rookie of the Year and a pair of races running his own makeshift team in the late ‘80s (none more famous than his first career win at Phoenix, where Kulwicki introduced “The Polish Victory Lap”).
            After the 1990 season, Kulwicki lost Zerex as a primary sponsor. Car owner Junior Johnson offered Alan a $1 million signing bonus to become the driver of his second car. Faced with the choice of joining a potential super group or continuing on with his under funded team, Kulwicki declined Johnson’s offer. He felt he owed it to his small number of employees (Kulwicki fielded a 10 man staff, which is roughly 2% of the total employees Hendrick Motorsports has) to soldier on with his own team (SHAMELESS LEBRON BASHING ALERT: Is it wrong of me to suggest that it would’ve been nice to see King James make a similar choice last summer?).
            Alan’s loyalty paid off in the 1992 season. Kulwicki won at Bristol and Pocono, but a crash at Dover left him 278 points behind Bill Elliott in the season’s standings with six races to go. However, 5-top 12 finishes combined with a late-season swoon by Bill Elliott brought Kulwicki within 30 points of Davey Allison going into the final race at Atlanta.
            For those that aren’t in the know, the 1992 season finale was arguably the most important race that wasn’t a Daytona 500 in NASCAR history. The race doubled as the final race for Richard Petty, and the first race for Jeff Gordon (Gordon’s rainbow painted ride looked like it came from Mars compared to the other cars back in ’92). Six drivers started the day with a mathematical chance to win a championship (which is a feat that has never been duplicated by The Chase). Davey Allison needed to finish in at least sixth place to clinch the championship, but was taken out in an accident (more on that at the #15 spot). The race and championship came down to Bill Elliott and Kulwicki.
            Before the race, Kulwicki got permission from both NASCAR and Ford to rename his Ford Thunderbird the “Underbird”. Elliott, who was in his first year in the #11 Budweiser Ford, was driving for Junior Johnson, the same man who tried to lure Kulwicki onto his team almost two years before (Quick Question: Does anyone else remember that Awesome Bill drove the Budweiser car? The dude won four straight races early in ‘92. You could argue that if teammate Sterling Marlin did not cause this accident in the season opening Daytona 500, Elliott would’ve won the first five races and the Winston Cup. This is even crazier when you factor in that Marlin was driving the car that Junior Johnson wanted Kulwicki to drive. Someday I’m going to write a book about the 1992 Winston Cup season that will be read by 7 people). Elliott needed to finish two spots ahead of Kulwicki to overtake him in the final standings. Bill won the race, but Kulwicki finished in second to win the Winston Cup by 10 points.


            Tragically, Kulwicki only ran five races in 1993 before losing his life in a plane crash on his way to Bristol. We will talk more about the tragic ’93 season for NASCAR at #15 as well. Here though is the tribute Rusty Wallace did for his fallen friend.

           
19. Tim Richmond, 1986, #25 Folger’s Chevrolet
             Richmond’s off the track exploits were so notorious the main character of “Days of Thunder” was loosely based on him. He only ran one full season for Rick Hendrick, but it was a good one. Richmond won seven times, and enjoyed a stretch in the middle of the summer where he took him the checkered flag six times in nine races. If Richmond didn’t contract AIDs, there’s a good chance he would’ve won Rick Hendrick’s first Winston Cup title instead of Jeff Gordon.

  
18. Matt Kenseth, 2003, #17 DeWalt Power Tools Ford
            He will forever be known as the man who won the last Winston Cup title. Kenseth only won a single race in 2003, but so thoroughly dominated the standings that NASCAR instituted The Chase the following season.

  
17. Ned Jarrett, 1965, #11 Ford
            More famous now for his broadcasting work in the ‘80s and ‘90s, Ned Jarrett was arguably the greatest short track driver in NASCAR history. He won 13 races and the Winston Cup in his final full season.

  
16. Bobby Allison, 1983, #22 Miller High Life Buick
            The leader of the famed “Alabama Gang”, Allison was one of the best drivers of the 1970s, but was never able to capture a Winston Cup (you can thank Richard Petty and Cale Yarborough for that). That trend looked like it would continue in the 1980s as Allison finished second in the season standings to Darrell Waltrip in both 1981 and 1982. However, Bobby was finally able to bring home a championship in 1983 by 47 points over Waltrip.

  
            Allison’s life and career after his championship season is filled with some highs, but mostly incredible lows. In 1987, Bobby’s car almost landed in the seats at Talladega. His crash led to NASCAR forcing cars to use restrictor plates at Daytona and Talladega.

  
            In what both men would call the greatest moment of their racing careers, Bobby and his son Davey finished 1-2 at the 1988 Daytona 500.

            Sadly, Allison would not have any memory of winning the Daytona 500 after a near-fatal crash at Pocono the following summer that ended his career.

            This should’ve been enough hardship for Allison to bear, but our next driver story will detail that he was forced to deal with much more.

15. Davey Allison, 1992, #28 Texaco-Havoline Ford
            You could not ask for a more humble superstar than Davey Allison. He always had kind of an “aw-shucks” attitude that made him one of the more likeable drivers in NASCAR history. His breakout season was 1991. He posted five wins (a career high) and finished third in the final points standings. Davey started 1992 on a high note, dodging a wreck that wiped out over half the field and winning the Daytona 500.

            Allison won three more races during the first half of the season, but also made a habit of taking a physical beating. He suffered a badly bruised shoulder in a crash at Bristol, and then broke a few ribs in a crash at Martinsville. Two more spectacular incidents would top those crashes.
            During that year’s All-Star Race (the first time it was run under the lights), Davey won, but as announcer Buddy Baker said during the live telecast, “He won the race, but he sure paid the price.”


            Allison was knocked unconscious. He suffered a concussion, a bruised long, and further aggravation of his previous injuries. When Allison woke up in the hospital, the first thing he asked was, “Did we win?” Just under two months later, Allison endured another horrific crash at Pocono (the same track where his father’s career ended).

  
            Davey suffered another concussion, as well as a broken arm, wrist, and collarbone. Amazingly, Allison was able to start the very next race thanks to his team installing Velcro on the steering wheel and shifter knob, which put less pressure on his arm. Allison started the next two races, but let a relief driver take over during the first caution of each event. Just to put things in perspective, here is the list of injuries Davey endured up to this point.

3 broken ribs
2 concussions
1 broken arm
1 broken wrist
1 broken clavicle
1 bruised lung

            The pain from these injuries was topped by the loss of his brother Clifford, who died in a practice crash for a Busch Series race at Michigan. Racing in almost a catatonic state, Davey drove to a fifth place finish just two days later.
            In spite of all the physical and emotional pain he had to deal with, Davey still stayed in championship contention, and as mentioned at the #20 spot on this list, entered the final race of the season with a 30 point lead over Alan Kulwicki. Unfortunately, a championship wasn’t meant to be. Ernie Irvan cut a tire, spun out, and Davey had no place to go but directly into the side of Irvan’s car.

  
            It would’ve been very easy for Davey to blame Irvan for the incident. However, listen to Allison’s interview after he walked out of the in-field care center.

  
            How do you think Kyle Busch would’ve handled that interview? Or Kevin Harvick? Or for that matter, anyone else? Of all the old NASCAR videos I’ve watched in putting this ultimate grid together, this one sticks out the most for me.
            Sadly, Davey would only run 16 more Winston Cup races. He was seriously injured in a helicopter crash at Talladega, one day after finishing third in the first Winston Cup race at Loudon, NH (which also doubles as the first Winston Cup race my Dad and I ever went to. I was seven years old). He died the following day (for those that haven’t connected the dots, this meant that Bobby Allison lost two sons within a year). Here is Allison’s last television interview, which took place after the race at New Hampshire.

  
            One final thought to conclude Davey and Alan Kulwicki’s story…could you imagine if Dwight Howard and Kobe Bryant died within three months of each other? That’s essentially what NASCAR had to deal with in 1993 when Alan and Davey passed away. Only the 2000-2001 stretch was as painful for NASCAR (when we lost Adam Petty, Kenny Irwin, and Dale Earnhardt). Kulwicki probably wouldn’t of won another championship (he was 38 at the time of his death) unless he joined forces with a larger team. Allison could’ve absolutely stolen a few championships from Dale Earnhardt and Jeff Gordon. Davey was twice the driver Ernie Irvan was, so I have no doubt that he would’ve clobbered the field in ’94 (remember that Irvan was only 27 points behind Earnhardt when his season ended at Michigan).

(EDITORS NOTE: One more final thought, and I mean it this time…)

I remember my Dad having a hard time explaining to me that Davey would never drive again. He was engaging, probably too nice, and just a genuine good guy. Even a youngster could pick up on that. I was happy to see that interview of him after he lost the championship in ’92. It reminded me of every reason why he was the favorite driver of a young boy in New Hampshire.     

14. Bobby Isaac, 1970, #71 K & K Insurance Dodge
            38 top-10s in 47 starts propelled Bobby Isaac to the 1970 championship. 28 of his 37 career wins came between 1969 and 1970.

13. Tony Stewart, 2005, #20 Home Depot Chevrolet
            Smoke is the only driver to win under the old points system and in the Chase era. Stewart won five out of seven races during the summer, including his first career win at Indianapolis.

  
12. Tim Flock, 1955, #300 Mercury Outboards Chrysler
            Two digits weren’t enough for Tim Flock. He had to go the extra mile and go with car number #300.

  
11. Cole Trickle, 1990, #46-#51, City Chevrolet/Purolator/Mello Yellow Chevrolet
            I could probably fill four Microsoft Word pages with thoughts about “Days of Thunder”, but I already went way over my standard word count waxing poetic about Davey Allison. Here are some super quick thoughts though about the movie famously called “Top Gun on Wheels.”

-         It’s a shame that Rowdy Burns didn’t exist in real life, because he would’ve been the most awesome driver in NASCAR history.
-         Either Nicole Kidman’s character was the female version of Doogie Howser, or the writers of this movie neglected to consider that it would be virtually impossible for Kidman to be a neurosurgeon at her age.
-         I’m not going to sit here and outright say that the major crash scene was excessive, but Cole probably should’ve died three different times during his flip.
-         This could go in the book as either a compliment or an insult (depending on your point of view), but no other actor on Earth could’ve played Cole Trickle better than Tom Cruise.
-         This movie was certainly guilty of awful writing, but nothing in cinema history will ever top this rant from the team owner.

"I'm with sponsors in the stands. I'm holding their hand and trying to show them a good time, and what do we do?! We wind up lookin' like a monkey f***in' a football out there!"


Thursday, June 23, 2011

3 Suggestions for People Annoyed By Female Tennis Players Grunting

1. Turn the volume down on your television.
2. Don't go to a tennis match where a young Eastern European might make a louder constant noise than a jet engine.
3. Watch something else.


This column is in response to this post on foxsports.com

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Perception and Reality

Perception – Dirk Nowitzki has shed the label of “soft” that he has had after finally winning a title.
Reality – Not to piss on the fire that is the Nowitzki love fest (I’ve been putting logs on that fire since Game 2 of the Lakers series), but I’ll still classify Dirk as a finesse player. Sure, he’s more willing to drive to the basket when needed than he was earlier in his career, but this isn’t a guy that lives in the paint.
            ESPN.com posted this column that compared Dirk to other power forwards in NBA history. While it’s interesting to look at that list, is it fair to compare Charles Barkley and Nowitzki? Their games are totally different. Barkley was capable of putting up 30-15 every night in his glory days while totally controlling the paint. Nowitzki makes his living nailing unblockable mid-range jumpers. Dirk should be looked at as 7-foot German version of Larry Bird (minus the overall playmaking ability Bird had), and a player who had enough talent to be centerpiece of a championship team.   

Perception – “Jake and the Neverland Pirates” is the best new show for 2-5 year-olds on television (based on television ratings).
Reality – Here’s the basic plot outline for every episode of this cartoon.

  1. Captain Hook steals something from Jake and the Neverland Pirates.
  2. Jake and the Neverland Pirates take it back.
  3. Captain Hook ends up either stuck in a tree, stuck on an island, or floating in the water.

Other than the pirates saying “YO HO!” all the time (which makes me giggle, because occasionally I have the maturity of a 13-year old), this show brings nothing to the table. If you’re looking for a good kids show, watch “Yo Gabba Gabba” or “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse”.

Perception – Lebron James is too scared in the clutch to take advantage of his otherworldly abilities.
Reality – You could read a thousand opinions on this, but I’ll offer up my take (because commenting on things that have been discussed a billion times is what bloggers do. Or so I’ve been told). Lebron James and Dwyane Wade essentially do the same things on the basketball court. Unfortunately, they can’t do most of those things at the same time. Wade is the more assertive of the two, which therefore results in Lebron deferring to him the majority of the time. There are three things that can improve Miami’s chances for winning a championship in 2012.

  1. Make Lebron the official starting point guard. It makes more sense to have James channel his inner-Magic Johnson with Wade on the wing as opposed to both out wide and taking turns on isos. Throw in sending Wade to “Ray Allen School” (which specializes in the art of running around screens without the basketball), and you would have all the makings of a dynamite offense.
  2. Lebron should lock himself in a gym for the entire month of July and have Hakeem Olajuwon teach him how to play in the post. With his combination of size, quickness, and passing, James would be deadly operating out of the paint.
  3. Either Wade or Lebron should be traded for Dwight Howard (EDITORS NOTE: I realize this will never happen, but it’s fun to throw out there. That’s another thing hack bloggers do. Throw out situations that will never occur but discuss them like they could). Whichever one is left would have the benefit of dominating the basketball. Chris Bosh would then become the secondary scoring option, and Dwight Howard would defend the paint and make up for Bosh’s lack of…how should I put this…onions. 

Perception – Sympathy is lost for a murdered mother when it is rumored that she was involved in dealing drugs.
Reality – Loyal readers of this blog might recall this piece I wrote a couple of months ago about a murder that occurred in North Conway. When the story first broke (from the disappearance to the announcement that the body was found), there was nothing but sympathy for the mother and her daughter. However, as facts have slowly come out, and the locals are now under the impression that she ended up in her situation due to drugs, pity was lost. I’ve even heard some people around town say “the daughter is better off now that she will be out of that situation”.
            Not to sound like a bleeding heart, but ignorant statements of that nature drive me insane. It’s reckless to assert that any child is better off with their mother dead. I don’t care how shady or questionable a person is, but that child will never have a stronger bond with anyone than she would’ve had with her mom. We shouldn’t let the involvement of drugs cloud the fact that a young girl will be motherless for the rest of her life.

Perception – Glenn Beck is bonkers.
Reality – In this case, perception really is reality.

Perception – Kyle Busch deserved getting the snot beat out of him by car owner Richard Childress.
Reality – I’ll keep this one short because I know most of you don’t give a crap about NASCAR…NO!!! I get that Childress was sick of Busch roughing up his drivers, and wanted to prove a point. However, Kyle Busch bumping up against the side of a truck after a race to show his displeasure with how he was raced didn’t warrant that behavior. As a matter of fact, unless you’re in a boxing ring, the octagon, or in a life or death situation, I really feel like there’s no need to ever punch someone in the face (somewhere in another dimension, John Lennon is smiling after reading that sentence). Childress is a multi-millionaire who is one of the most successful owners in NASCAR history. Lobby NASCAR, Bitch to the media about Kyle Busch, paint “Shrub is an Ass” on the hood of one of your cars, but don’t punch the dude in the face.

(EDITORS NOTE: Sorry, went longer than advertised on that one…)

Perception – Of all the Boston sports teams, the Bruins are the most stable for the next decade.
Reality – Let’s look at this in terms of pros and cons for the Bruins.

PROS

  1. Tyler Seguin finally showed what he could potentially deliver when he was unleashed in the Conference Finals against Tampa Bay. Seguin has all the tools to develop into a franchise forward that can carry the offense.
  2. Boston will have the 9th pick in the 2011 draft thanks to the Phil Kessel trade (keep in mind that they got Seguin with the 2nd pick last year thanks to this trade also).
  3. Other than Mark Recchi (who is retiring), Tomas Kaberle (a trade-deadline rental who will not be back), and Michael Ryder (a free-agent who is replaceable, but could resign for less than the $4 million he was paid last season), the entire team is under contract for next season.

CONS

  1. Tim Thomas is 37-years old. He certainly can give a couple more solid seasons, but isn’t the long-term answer in goal. Tukka Rask was serviceable in 2009-10, but it’s unclear if he is more than a spot-starter. If Boston doesn’t address the goalie position in the draft the next year or two, goaltending will be an issue.
  2. The NHL is the most fluid of all the four major professional sports. There have been six different champions in the six seasons since the NHL lockout. Boston should be a playoff team for the foreseeable future, but it would be foolish to think they can be a dynasty.

With all that said, here is my list of who I expect to be the most successful sports teams in Boston for the next five years.

    1. Boston Red Sox (Adrian Gonzalez is a beast)
    2. Boston Bruins (If Seguin reaches his potential, they can vault over the Sox)
    3. New England Patriots (New England’s relentless hording of draft picks gives them tons of flexibility going forward)
    4. Boston Celtics (Aging core, unclear if Rondo will ever develop into a true franchise point guard. They vault up the list if they make a huge splash in the summer of 2012)

           
             

Sunday, June 12, 2011

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (6/10-6/12)

10. Flavor Flav Claims He Lost Virginity at Age 6
            This is just one of many claims Flav is making in his new memoir. I’ll question this boast, but I have no doubt that he at least blew $5.7 million on drugs in a six-year span.

9. Bike Week Begins in New Hampshire
            For those of you that don’t live in the Granite State, Bike Week is an event where thousands of men who are smack dab in the middle of a mid-life crisis act like 22-year olds for a week. Women whose faces look like worn out catcher’s mitts join them. Depending on your ideals, this may or may not sound like a good time to you.

8. Allan McNish Survives
            I’ll let the raw video do the talking here.



7. Bartolo Colon Pulls Up Lame, Hits DL
            This is a bittersweet story for me. On one hand, it’s a good thing that the Yankees are losing him for a couple of weeks. On the other, one of my fantasy teams is losing Colon. Both New York and myself were surely expecting the 270-pound Colon to suffer some sort of ailment at some point during the season.

6. U.S. Soccer Loses to Panama
            Because soccer is weird, the United States is not eliminated from the Gold Cup, but they should be after losing to a country that is most famous for having a big canal.

5. MLB Seriously Considering Realignment
            I don’t own stock in the Orioles, Rays, or Blue Jays, but I’m all in favor of coming up with a system that makes things a little fairer for those teams. I’ll cast my vote for two 15-team leagues with no divisions.

4. Junior dos Santos Destroys Shane Carwin
            Carwin was given a broken nose and a fractured cheekbone after getting pounded for three rounds. Dos Santos will move on to face heavyweight champion Cain Velasquez.

3. Jeff Gordon Wins at Pocono
            Gordon’s 5th career win at Pocono will at worst give him a wild-card entry into The Chase.

2. Canucks Score Late, Take 3-2 Series Lead Over Boston
            Game 5 had the look of a game that would be decided by an odd bounce. Unfortunately, it didn’t go the Bruins way. I’m fully expecting a Bruins win in Game 6 (you know what that means regular No Credentials readers, get your money on Vancouver right now).

1. Dallas Mavericks Defeat Miami Heat, Win NBA Championship
            I’m going to write more about this series and where these two teams go from here, but let me write some random thoughts down here.

a. I’ve never been happier for a citizen of Germany than I am for Dirk Nowitzki. Oddly enough, my feelings for Dirk are similar to Larry David’s feelings for Oscar the dog.



b. Can we please stop asking Lebron James to be Michael Jordan? It’s just not going to happen. If you want to watch MJ play, go look at old highlights on You Tube (I was going to save this for my next column but my head is exploding as I’m watching Jon Barry, Michael Wilbon, and Magic Johnson talk about him on “Sportscenter”).
c. Rick Carlisle is the unofficial “Best Basketball Coach Alive” as of right now. Switching to a zone when Dirk went out with two fouls in the 1st quarter kept Dallas in the game.
d. Cleveland doesn’t have a lot going on these days, so I’ll award them the right to share in the Dallas championship celebration.


NO CREDENTIALS SUMMER SCHEDULE – This will be the last “10 Awesome Things” column that will be posted until September 12th, 2011. I still plan on making a minimum of two posts per week. Here are topics that will be covered this summer.

  1. Fantasy Baseball (and maybe once in a blue moon, real baseball, but don’t count on it)
  2. NFL and NBA labor issues (sadly, my two favorite leagues are in jeopardy of missing future games)
  3. NASCAR (that’s right, I want to try to get negative page views this summer)
  4. If the NFL ever resumes normal operations, NFL preseason team previews
  5. Fantasy Football Draft Tips
  6. Reviews and commentary on summer events, such as the US Open golf tournament

Thanks to all eight of you that regularly have read the weekend review every Monday. Keep your fingers crossed that there will be NFL games to talk about when the weekend review returns in September.  

Friday, June 10, 2011

The Ultimate NASCAR Starting Grid, Part 2

            After reading Ed Hinton’s 12-part series on who would make the field of the ultimate Indianapolis 500 (if you like open-wheel racing check it out here), I was inspired to construct a similar list for NASCAR. This is part two of a four part series that will list who would make the ultimate 43-car starting grid. If you missed part 1 of this series, click here.
            To spice it up a little bit, I tried to look at individual seasons as opposed to overall careers. For example, instead of simply plugging in Richard Petty, I am taking Petty from the year that I thought was his best. A driver could only qualify once for the list (this prevents five years of Jimmie Johnson from clogging up the ranks). In order to make it, a driver had to accomplish at least one of four things.

  1. Win the Winston/Nextel/Sprint Cup Championship
  2. Win a bunch of races
  3. Have some form of cultural impact (in other words, does anyone remember them?)
  4. Have been the main character in a motion picture

Without further ado, here is the second set of 11 drivers to make the cut.

33. Kyle Busch, 2008, #18 M&Ms Toyota
            Kurt’s little brother can be a real douche, but there’s no questioning his talent behind the wheel of a racecar. After Rick Hendrick decided to replace Kyle with Dale Earnhardt Jr. for the 2008 season, Busch came out with a vengeance driving for Joe Gibbs. After dominating that year’s Daytona 500 (before Ryan Newman stole it), Busch went out and won 8 of the first 26 races. Unfortunately, things came totally unraveled for him in The Chase, and he ended up a disappointing 10th in the final standings. If we do a list like this again in 10 years, No Credentials should have a couple of Kyle Busch championship seasons to choose from.
            Just for grins and giggles, watch how Kyle treated his Hendrick Motorsports replacement during the spring race at Richmond.



32. Dale Earnhardt Jr., 2004, #8 Budweiser Chevrolet
            With all the worry over whether NASCAR’s most popular driver will win a race again, it’s hard to remember what made him so popular in the first place. 2004 cemented him as more than just a legacy child, as he won six races during the season (a third of his career total), including an emotional Daytona 500 win. NASCAR hasn’t been nearly as much fun as when Dale Jr. was driving the ultra cool Budweiser Chevrolet.



31. Terry Labonte, 1996, #5 Kellogg’s Chevrolet
            The only reason Jeff Gordon didn’t win four straight titles was the remarkable consistency Terry Labonte displayed during the 1996 season. Labonte only won two races, but an 8.2 average finish gave him the ability to take advantage of Gordon’s late season swoon. Texas Terry doesn’t get enough credit for stealing the ’96 Winston Cup. 

30. Ernie Irvan, 1994, #28 Texaco-Havoline Ford
            Ernie earned the nickname “Swervin’ Irvan” for all of the crashes he was involved in early in his career. He was so aggressive that Irvan apologized to his fellow competitors before the 1991 Diehard 500. He had some moderate success driving the #4 Kodak Chevrolet (including a win in the 1991 Daytona 500), but his career took off when he was signed to become Davey Allison’s replacement in the famous Robert Yates #28 Ford.
           


Irvan got off to a fast start in 1994, winning two of the first four races. He added a 3rd win at Sears Point, and continued to lead a ton of laps throughout the summer. He would’ve had a large point lead over Dale Earnhardt if not for two races that got away from him. In the 1994 race at New Hampshire, I remember sitting in the stands watching Irvan get involved in a crash with a lapped car while leading. Despite missing the entire back half of his car, Irvan drove back to the lead before getting collected in another crash that knocked him out of the race.
            The second race was the inaugural running of the Brickyard 400. Irvan had swapped the lead several times with Jeff Gordon before cutting a tire down with five laps to go.



            Irvan entered the August race at Michigan only 27 points behind Dale Earnhardt. During an early Friday morning practice session, Irvan’s right front tire exploded, causing his Thunderbird to careen head on into the turn 2 wall at 170 mph. He was given only a 10% chance to survive head and lung injuries he sustained during the crash. Miraculously, he survived and restarted his career late in the 1995 season, only to have it end four years later at the same track after a very similar practice crash.
            I won’t sit here and say Irvan would’ve won the championship if not for the crash, but he certainly would’ve had a damn good shot at it. Despite missing the final 11 races, Ernie still led more laps than any other driver in 1994. He definitly would've pushed Earnhardt all the way to the series finale at Atlanta that year. We were robbed of a great championship battle.

29. Buddy Baker, 1980, #28 Napa/Regal Ride Shocks Oldsmobile
            Buddy Baker didn’t win the Winston Cup Championship in 1980. In fact, he only ran 19 of the 31 races that season. However, check out the silver #28 car he drove to victory in that year’s Daytona 500.



            The car was quickly dubbed “The Gray Ghost”. Fellow drivers complained that they couldn’t see him coming in the rearview mirror because his car blended in with the asphalt. If that Oldsmobile grew wings and flew overseas to bomb a Middle Eastern country, I wouldn’t be surprised.

28. Benny Parsons, 1973, #72 Dewitt Racing Chevrolet
            Parsons only won a single race in 1973, but his consistent top-5 finishes earn him a place on this list. Not to mention that NASCAR broadcasts were a lot more fun when BP was in the booth.



27. Mark Martin, 1990, #6 Folgers Ford
            Martin is the most famous runner-up in the history of NASCAR. He’s finished second in the season ending standings a record five times (1990, 1994, 1998, 2002, 2009), and was beaten by a bumper by Kevin Harvick at the 2007 Daytona 500. We could’ve chosen Mark’s 1998 season to include on this list, when if not for a superhuman season by Jeff Gordon he would’ve won the title, but instead we’ll take 1990. If not for a 46-point penalty given to him at Richmond for an illegal carburetor spacer (which NASCAR acknowledged didn’t improve the performance of his car), Martin would’ve beaten Dale Earnhardt by 20 points in the final season standings. Instead, Martin was a runner-up by 26 points.



26. Kurt Busch, 2004, #97 Sharpie Ford
            Kyle’s older brother will never get enough credit for winning the first Chase, probably due to the fact that he was nearly 300 points behind Jeff Gordon after the last race of the regular season. Nevertheless, Busch did what he needed to do the final 10 races to beat both Gordon and Jimmie Johnson for the title.

25. Dale Jarrett, 1999, #88 Ford Credit Ford
            Jarrett’s season started with his car rolling over in the Daytona 500, but Jarrett went on to dominate the rest of the 1999 season. DJ so thoroughly dominated K-Mart 400 at Michigan that he was apologizing in victory lane for stinking up the show.

24. Rusty Wallace, 1989, #27 Kodiak Pontiac
            Long before he was a terrible ESPN commentator, Wallace was one of the best drivers on the circuit in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. Earnhardt fans would argue that Rusty would’ve lost the championship in 1989 if not for a getting spun out on the last lap at North Wilkesboro by Ricky Rudd, but they should also remember the Mark Martin story from 1990 that I told three drivers earlier. You win some you lose some.



23. Ricky Bobby, 2006, #26 Wonder Bread Chevrolet
            “If you ain’t first, you’re last” may not make a whole lot of sense (because as Ricky’s father eventually says, you can finish second, or third, or fourth…), but I’m not sure if anyone could’ve written a better motto for a fictional NASCAR driver than that.


Thursday, June 9, 2011

The First No Credentials Baseball Blockbuster

            We hadn’t seen much trading yet in the No Credentials Fantasy Baseball league (save for an exchange of Torii Hunter and Vladimir Guerrero, which is fun in retrospect because both players have been cut from the teams that traded for them), but yours truly helped create the first blockbuster of the season. Here are the terms.

No Cred At All (managed by me) is trading Blue Jays 1B/OF Adam Lind, Nationals 3B Ryan Zimmerman, Yankees C Jesus Montero, and Nationals SP Jordan Zimmerman to Eastbound KP (managed by Mark the E-Bay Guy, the finest seller of Adidas Original’s footwear this side of the Tropic of Cancer) for Rays 3B Evan Longoria.

            Eastbound has done very well to currently sit 6th in the season standings despite all of the terrible luck he’s had. Evan Longoria had a lengthy DL stint early in the season. Ubaldo Jimenez has mostly been a mess (with the exception of his past two starts). Justin Morneau still hasn’t found his groove since returning from a serious concussion. Phil Hughes suddenly lost the ability to throw a MLB quality fastball. To top it all off, Eastbound was the lucky owner in our league who had Buster Posey. Longoria was his first round pick, but with the boatload of players he’s getting back in return, the trade made sense for him. Ryan Zimmerman should be back within 10 days, and is capable of delivering top-30 value the rest of the season. Adam Lind can cover first base until Morneau gets straightened out, and then slide into the outfield if needed there. Jordan Zimmerman has delivered seven straight quality starts, and will be Eastbound’s fifth or sixth best pitcher.
            Of all these players, Montero may end up providing the production over the next four seasons. Montero is a major league ready hitter who is just waiting to be called up by the Yankees or traded to another team. I had Montero ranked as the 11th most likely player to be kept for my 2012 team at the 1/4th mark of the season. Even better for Eastbound is the price he would have to pay to keep him next season. I drafted Montero in the 30th round, which means he can be kept for the price of a 30th round pick for 2012. For me, Montero is the hardest player to part with.
            As for Longoria, I’m hopeful that he heats up as we get deeper into the summer months. Thanks to the quality of talent on my team, I’m unsure if he will be a one-year rental or a keeper candidate for 2012. In retrospect, I probably should’ve offered Desmond Jennings instead of Montero (as is the case with most fantasy teams, I have a ton of outfielders, but only Matt Wieters at catcher). That’s the only thing I would’ve changed with this offer. Lind and the two Zimmerman’s were ranked 20th, 22nd, and 24th on my keeper ranks, so while all three are productive players, I should be fine without them going forward.
            All in all, this should be a great trade for both sides (provided Longoria gets his average up from the .240s). As soon as Montero is called up, Eastbound will have three hitters he should be able to start everyday and a solid new member of his starting rotation. We’ll look at this trade later in the season to see how it turned out for both sides.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Rationalizing the Horton Hit



            Nathan Horton had scored 17 points (8 goals, 9 assists), and also became the first player to net two Game 7 winning goals in the same postseason. He’ll miss the rest of the Stanley Cup Finals with a severe concussion.

            Aaron Rome typically is included with the third set of Vancouver defensemen. He has scored one goal this postseason, but has been enough of a goon to amass 37 penalty minutes. He’ll miss the rest of the Stanley Cup Finals after getting suspended for his late hit.

            Horton isn’t Cam Neely or anything, but there’s no fair penalty that could be assessed to Vancouver (short of forcing them to play all of Game 4 shorthanded). They managed to take out the most valuable person in the playoffs on the Bruins roster not named Tim Thomas at the cost of a 3rd-line defenseman. It sounds cruel, but if you were a hockey coach, wouldn’t you make that trade everyday? 

Monday, June 6, 2011

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (6/3-6/5)

10. Drone Kills Top Al-Qaida Militant
            Other than being a terrorist, Ilyas Kashmiri will be best remembered for having an epic beard and a cool pair of aviators.

9. Carlos Zambrano Goes Bonkers, Rips Chicago Cubs
            It was only a matter of time before Zambrano went off about the state of the sorry team he plays for.

8. GM Donnie Walsh Leaves New York Knicks
            As a Celtics fan, I’m very excited that Isaiah Thomas now has an opportunity to screw up the New York Knicks again. 

7. Maradona Calls FIFA Leaders “Dinosaurs”
            Maradona, who is essentially Argentina’s answer to Ozzie Guillen, should have a microphone put in front of his face everyday.

6. Rafael Nadal Wins French Open Final Against Roger Federer
            Along with winning a record tying 6th French Open, Nadal also secured his place as the most successful male on Earth who regularly wears Capri’s. Currently in a distant second in that competition is Clinton from TLC’s “What Not to Wear”.

5. Brad Keselowski Steals Win at Kansas
            Similar to last week when NASCAR needed a Dale Earnhardt Jr. victory to knock the Indianapolis 500 off the headlines, this week a Junior win would’ve knocked the Kyle Busch and Richard Childress out of the spotlight. Dale Jr. came up just short again, finishing second to Keselowski in a race decided by fuel mileage.

4. Shaq Retires
            His final year in Boston was destroyed by injuries, but that doesn’t lessen the impact Shaq has had on the game the past 19 years.

3. 65-Year Old Richard Childress Beats the Snot Out of Kyle Busch
            Childress was a little cowardly knowing that Busch couldn’t fight back because he was already on probation, but kudos him for sticking up for his drivers. Not to mention that the dude is old enough to collect Social Security. 

2. Canucks Score 11 Seconds Into Overtime, Take 2-0 Lead Over Boston
            You can debate until your blue in the face whether or not Canucks forward Alex Burrows should’ve been suspended after biting Patrice Bergeron’s glove (my take...if he bit into actual flesh, that’s obviously suspension worthy. However, it is odd behavior to bite into a thick hockey glove, but not suspension worthy). One can’t deny his impact on Game 2. Burrows was all over the place, scoring two goals and assisting on Daniel Sedin’s tying goal with just over 10 minutes left in regulation. 

1. Dirk Misses at the Buzzer, Miami Survives Game 3
            Poor Nowitzki is going to need three weeks of bed rest after the Finals are over after carrying the Mavericks on his back during the playoffs. He may get some blame for missing the shot at the end that could’ve put the game into overtime, but I’ll pin Mavericks loss on the inability of their point guards to hit wide-open jumpers. Jason Kidd and JJ Barea need to shoot better than 5-16 for Dallas to even the series.