10. Drone Kills Top Al-Qaida Militant
Other than being a terrorist, Ilyas Kashmiri will be best remembered for having an epic beard and a cool pair of aviators.
9. Carlos Zambrano Goes Bonkers, Rips Chicago Cubs
It was only a matter of time before Zambrano went off about the state of the sorry team he plays for.
8. GM Donnie Walsh Leaves New York Knicks
As a Celtics fan, I’m very excited that Isaiah Thomas now has an opportunity to screw up the New York Knicks again.
7. Maradona Calls FIFA Leaders “Dinosaurs”
Maradona, who is essentially Argentina’s answer to Ozzie Guillen, should have a microphone put in front of his face everyday.
6. Rafael Nadal Wins French Open Final Against Roger Federer
Along with winning a record tying 6th French Open, Nadal also secured his place as the most successful male on Earth who regularly wears Capri’s. Currently in a distant second in that competition is Clinton from TLC’s “What Not to Wear”.
5. Brad Keselowski Steals Win at Kansas
Similar to last week when NASCAR needed a Dale Earnhardt Jr. victory to knock the Indianapolis 500 off the headlines, this week a Junior win would’ve knocked the Kyle Busch and Richard Childress out of the spotlight. Dale Jr. came up just short again, finishing second to Keselowski in a race decided by fuel mileage.
4. Shaq Retires
His final year in Boston was destroyed by injuries, but that doesn’t lessen the impact Shaq has had on the game the past 19 years.
3. 65-Year Old Richard Childress Beats the Snot Out of Kyle Busch
Childress was a little cowardly knowing that Busch couldn’t fight back because he was already on probation, but kudos him for sticking up for his drivers. Not to mention that the dude is old enough to collect Social Security.
2. Canucks Score 11 Seconds Into Overtime, Take 2-0 Lead Over Boston
You can debate until your blue in the face whether or not Canucks forward Alex Burrows should’ve been suspended after biting Patrice Bergeron’s glove (my take...if he bit into actual flesh, that’s obviously suspension worthy. However, it is odd behavior to bite into a thick hockey glove, but not suspension worthy). One can’t deny his impact on Game 2. Burrows was all over the place, scoring two goals and assisting on Daniel Sedin’s tying goal with just over 10 minutes left in regulation.
1. Dirk Misses at the Buzzer, Miami Survives Game 3
Poor Nowitzki is going to need three weeks of bed rest after the Finals are over after carrying the Mavericks on his back during the playoffs. He may get some blame for missing the shot at the end that could’ve put the game into overtime, but I’ll pin Mavericks loss on the inability of their point guards to hit wide-open jumpers. Jason Kidd and JJ Barea need to shoot better than 5-16 for Dallas to even the series.
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