Overcooked MLB Preview

            Some of you asked if I was going to write about real baseball this year, and I’m proud to say that I did. Unfortunately, I forgot to post this Sunday afternoon, so you’re getting it two days later than it was originally intended to be released. Based on my March Madness performance, it’s probably for the better, as I wouldn’t want anyone making bets on any advice I have to offer at the moment. Without further ado, we run through each division, with some playoff predictions at the end.

 



NL West

5. Colorado Rockies

            The pitching is abysmal, and we predict by June that whispers of Troy Tulowitzki ending up in pinstripes become shouts.

4. San Diego Padres
            Almost the exact opposite of Colorado, San Diego has the proud distinction of providing the most inept offense in the National League. A Chase Headley bounce-back campaign is their only hope.

3. Arizona Diamondbacks

            If they were willing to pay the price for David Price, we’d consider bumping this team up to the top spot in the NL West. Without him, their rotation is a bit of a mess until Archie Bradley reaches the Major Leagues.

2. San Francisco Giants

            The 2012 World Series champs had a down 2013 for a variety of reasons, but if half of those issues correct themselves, they should be looking at a Wild Card spot.

1. Los Angeles Dodgers

            They have the best starting pitcher (Clayton Kershaw), arguably the best shortstop (Hanley Ramirez), and MLB’s best chance of Manny Ramirez 2.0 (Yaisel Puig). Not to mention that they are owned by crazy people who will do whatever it takes at the trade deadline to improve the team. There’s always a chance of an October flameout, but in the regular season the Dodgers are the best bet to rack up the most wins in MLB.

AL West

5. Houston Astros

            Are the Astros the Philadelphia 76ers of MLB, or vice versa? Regardless, some of Houston’s top prospects will be hitting the bigs soon. There’s a chance they won’t be horrendous in 2016.

4. Oakland Athletics

            Oakland always squeezes more production out of it’s players than any other team, but season ending injuries to a couple prominent members of their starting rotation will set them back.

3. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

            I think Pujols comes back to near All-Star form, and Mike Trout is ridiculous, but until Los Angeles corrects their pitching issues, they won’t hang with Texas.

2. Seattle Mariners

            Either we’re over eager about Seattle because of their abundance of young starting pitching behind Felix Hernandez, or because Robinson Cano has been one of the team captains of my No Credentials Fantasy Baseball team for three years. Regardless, there’s a chance that Cano stabilizes an offense full of talented players who haven’t delivered yet.

1. Texas Rangers

            We’re bummed out about Jurickson Profar missing the first three months of the year, but there’s still a ridiculous amount of depth offensively. Prince Fielder will return to previous form playing his home games in Arlington, and Adrian Beltre is arguably the most under appreciated great player in the game. They’ll need to acquire another starting pitcher before the deadline to be a true threat in the playoffs, but there’s enough here for them to win the AL West.

NL Central

5. Chicago Cubs

            We’re about a year away from seeing the benefits of Theo Epstein’s rebuild, but at least Chicago should have the most exciting mid-season call-up in the form of Javier Baez. 

4. Milwaukee Brewers

            Milwaukee could win anywhere between 65 and 95 games and I wouldn’t be completely surprised. As we’ve written before, Ryan Braun is a complete asshole who won’t care about getting booed everywhere he goes. He should return to near MVP-level form. It’s the question marks in the starting pitching staff (in particular, presumed ace Yovani Gallardo, who imploded last year) that make us lukewarm on them surpassing any of the other three playoff teams in their division from a year ago.

3. Pittsburgh Pirates

            The Pirates were a blast last year, even getting contributions from a pitcher who grew up right in No Credentials home turf. It would’ve been great to see them go all-in and acquire another power bat, but it appears they are just hoping for another step forward from Pedro Alvarez. They’ll still be competitive, but we see them just missing the Wildcard game.

2. St. Louis Cardinals

            Are the San Antonio Spurs the St. Louis Cardinals of the NBA, or vice versa? They’re incredible pitching depth will have them in the hunt as always come October.

1. Cincinnati Reds

            Forgetting his forgettable 0-4, four strikeouts performance on opening day, we think Billy Hamilton is the key to the Reds overtaking St. Louis in the NL Central. His transformational speed is enough of a difference maker to make an already potent Reds lineup all the more lethal.

AL Central

5. Minnesota Twins

            Hard not to think that Joe Mauer’s move away from catcher is about three or four years too late.

4. Chicago White Sox

            There are not a lot of interesting players here, but at least Jose Abreu should be fun to watch.

3. Cleveland Indians

            Last year’s most surprising AL playoff participant, Cleveland likely needs Carlos Santana to have a career year in order to put them over the hump.

2. Kansas City Royals

            For the first time in a while Kansas City actually has some depth in their starting rotation. Mike Moustakas fulfilling his post-hype sleeper status alongside former top prospect Eric Hosmer is needed for the Royals to have any chance of knocking off Detroit.

1. Detroit Tigers

            They have the best pure power hitter in baseball and the deepest starting rotation in the American League. Throw in some better clubhouse chemistry now that Prince Fielder is in Texas, and you have yourself the favorites to represent the American League in the World Series.

NL East

5. Miami Marlins

            At what point do the Marlins pull the trigger on a Giancarlo Stanton trade? He’s the best tool they have to completely reload their farm system.

4. New York Mets

            Matt Harvey’s injury really is a bummer. New York might’ve actually had a chance to at least be in shouting distance of a wildcard spot if their young ace was healthy.

3. Atlanta Braves

            No team was ravaged more by injuries during spring training than Atlanta. They are one of the few teams that have the depth to deal with losing 40% of their starting rotation (that’s a fancy way of saying they lost two starting pitchers), but we think that puts them a step behind in the NL East.

2. Philadelphia Phillies

            Remember the 2009-10 Phoenix Suns, who made a semi-improbable run to the Western Conference Finals a few seasons after it looked like the Nash Era would never contend for a NBA title again? That’s the kind of year I’m predicting for Philly.

1. Washington Nationals

            A full year of solid health for Bryce Harper (who was fortunate not to get a concussion after getting kicked in the head on opening day) is what we are predicting, as well as a serious run at the NL MVP award. If the offense improves their scoring output by one run per game over last year, their pitching will take care of the rest.

AL East

5. New York Yankees

            The infield is atrocious, there are no sure things in the starting rotation (Sabathia is washed up, Kuroda is a nerd stats regression candidate, and while we like Tanaka, we aren’t ready to bet the farm on him), and even more frightening, they don’t have THE HAMMER OF GOD anymore. Throw in the fact that they will be lucky to get 240 combined games out of Jacoby Ellsbury and Carlos Beltran, and this has all the makings of a season similar to what the Red Sox endured in 2012.At least for their sake, Bobby Valentine isn’t the manager.

4. Baltimore Orioles

            For my money, no team whiffed more in the off-season than the Baltimore Orioles. The offense is dynamite (and the Nelson Cruz signing at least paid dividends on opening day), but if there was one team that needed to through an obscure amount of cash at Tanaka, it was Baltimore. Ubaldo Jimenez is not enough for the Orioles to get into playoff contention.

3. Boston Red Sox

            Coming off a year where just about everything went right, it would make sense that a market correction will occur. We are hopeful that Grady Sizemore (one of the franchise players on one of my all-time favorite fantasy baseball teams I owned in 2008) makes a serious run at Comeback Player of the Year.

2. Toronto Blue Jays

            Think of this prediction as the opposite of what I just said about Boston. Virtually everything went wrong for Toronto last year, and while they didn’t get off to a great start against Tampa Bay, we still think the Blue Jays have the manpower to at least finish second in the AL East.

1. Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays

            On paper, this is the best (Devil) Rays team of the Joe Maddon era. There’s so much pitching depth throughout the organization, they could trade David Price and still not miss a beat. Wil Myers will form a dynamic duo with Evan Longoria in his sophomore campaign, giving the offense a much-needed boost. Barring a significant injury to Longoria (which could happen), this is the team to beat in the AL East.

(Probably Terrible) Playoff Predictions

NL West = Dodgers

NL Central = Reds
NL East = Nationals
NL Wildcard 1 = Cardinals
NL Wildcard 2 = Giants

AL Central = Tigers

AL East = (Devil) Rays
AL West = Rangers
AL Wildcard 1 = Mariners
AL Wildcard 2 = Royals

NLCS = Reds over Cardinals

ALCS = Tigers over Rays

World Series = Reds over Tigers

 

 

 

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (10/5-10/7)

10. Terry Francona Finds a New Job
            Unfortunately, it’s not with the Red Sox.

9. Messi and Ronaldo Both Score Twice, Match Ends in a Draw

            I don’t know what Nou Camp is, but anything that puts the two best futbol players in the universe on the same field works for me.

8. Ridiculous Infield Fly Call Helps Cardinals Hang On Against Braves

            Here’s a simple rule all umps should follow…if the left fielder is calling for the ball, than the infield fly rule does not apply.

7. South Carolina Pounds #5 Georgia

6. Florida Shuts Down #4 LSU
5. NC State Stuns #3 Florida State
            The last time three teams in the top 5 lost on the same day was October 11, 2008. Interestingly enough, that was the same day friend of the blog Mike Stevens and I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to find a bar that was televising Game 2 of the ALCS between Boston and Tampa Bay. The events clearly aren’t related, but I thought I would note it.

4. Texas Rangers Finish Off End Of Year Choke, Lose Play-In Game to Baltimore
            It’s great to see Baltimore advance deeper into the post-season, but it’s also a shame that this is likely the end of the Josh Hamilton era in Texas. Mostly because that means Boston will probably pay him $220 million this winter.

3. Drew Brees Breaks Consecutive Games With a Touchdown Pass Record
            Even more important for New Orleans, the Saints finally got a win. 

2. Matt Kenseth Dodges Massive Last Lap Wreck at Talladega

            Sunday’s finish was ridiculous, even by Talladega’s lofty standards of wild endings.

1. Colts Honor Their Coach, Shock Packers

            Storming back from a 21-3 halftime deficit, Andrew Luck and company played out of their minds in an effort to win for Head Coach Chuck Pagano, who was diagnosed with Leukemia six days prior.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (3/23-3/25)

Programming Note: I spent about 15 hours drafting fantasy baseball teams last night, then worked all day, and then played basketball (Camsanity struck again), so we're experimenting with a new format this week that involves me being extra lazy (something I'm a veteran at). Here we go.

10. Just incase you forgot, Pat Robertson is still a dumbass.  

9. The Big Tuna to the Saints? Ya buddy!

8. Texas Rangers figure Game 6 collapse was not enough, attempt to put fans into cardiac arrest with a nuclear hot dog.

7. Rain doesn’t piss on Smoke’s fire.

6. Knicks crush Pistons, No Credentials advances in Sportsbook’s $20,000 survivor pool (I’m not even going to link to that, because only myself and 426 other gambling degenerates gave a damn about this game).

5. Ohio, not Ohio St., almost beat North Carolina.

4. The Heat make a stand (off the court).

3. Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh Penguins continue to go bonkers.

2. Inspired by Rick Pitino’s infamous encounter at a diner, Louisville scores very, very quickly to come from behind.

1. Tiger Tiger Woods Y’all!

Advice For Yu Darvish So He Doesn't End Up Like Dice-K

THROW THE F***ING BALL OVER THE F***ING PLATE.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (10/14-10/16)

10. Prompto Saves Me Some Cash

            To make a long story short, I brought my car in for an oil-change. Even though it had been three months, I barely drive my car so the oil was still in great shape. Instead of going ahead with a change and making an easy $20 (even though I’m a NASCAR fan, I’m a dolt when it comes to cars. They could’ve done a change and I wouldn’t of even known whether or not my oil was fine or not), the good folks at Prompto advised me to hold off for a month or two because a change wasn’t necessary. Kudos to the Prompto people for having morals and doing the right thing (which is saving me money).     

9. Sean Payton Injured During Loss to Buccaneers

            I’m going to bring you folks to a dark place with the following paragraph, but I really enjoy it when coaches get wiped out on the sidelines. As long as there isn’t a fatality (which is always a real possibility when Joe Paterno is involved), I could watch a montage of coaches crumbling to the ground all day.

8. St. Louis Knocks Off Brewers to Earn World Series Berth

            At least for Brewers fans, they can now spend time on more important things, like watching the Packers and increasing their cholesterol.

7. Ravens Win 29-14 Over Houston

            Wouldn’t be noteworthy under normal circumstances, but this game was the first one that No Credentials wagered real cash on. A good start for No Credentials on Sportsbook.

6. Donovan McNabb Gets Benched (Again)

            In this case, it was properly in McNabb’s best interests that Vikings coaches decided to pull him from a 39-10 Bears blowout. Expect Christian Ponder to be starting within three weeks.

5. Matt Kenseth Wins, Jimmie Johnson Crashes Late at Charlotte

    

While it’s easy to get excited that Jimmie Johnson is in eighth place in The Chase with five races to go, we need to get through Talladega before declaring that Johnson has no chance to win another title.

4. Texas Rangers Advance to Second Straight World Series

            I must be out on baseball, because I had forgotten that Texas won the American League pennant last season. I expect the Ranger’s superior firepower to overwhelm St. Louis in six games (you know what that means loyal readers, bet on Cardinals in five!).

3. Lions and 49ers Attempt to Stage Post-Game Coaches Fight
            For the record, if Jim Harbaugh and Jim Schwartz ever meant in a boxing ring, I’d expect it to go the full 12. Schwartz would be favored (because he’s psychotic), but I’d like Harbaugh to win in a split-decision.

2. Cowboys Rip My Heart Out in Person, Lose Late to Patriots

            I didn’t get to personally witness Romo choke, but instead get to say I was at a game that Jason Garrett ended up as the scapegoat (here’s some real-life reporting for you…I don’t think Pats fan would’ve known who Jason Garrett was if he was standing on the sideline with a t-shirt that said, “Hi, My Name is Jason Garrett.” Rob Ryan on the other hand? Completely different story. Ryan was booed lustily all 678 times he was shown on the Jumbotron. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not, just merely making an observation). For the record, everyone at the stadium knew Dallas was going to run the ball three times on their final possession. Our seats were fairly high up, so we had a pretty clear of both Patriots safeties flying up to the line of scrimmage before the ball was snapped on first down. If Romo is supposedly an elite quarterback, Garrett had to give him a chance to ice the game. We’ll talk more about this game later in the week on No Credentials.

1. Indy Car Drivers Pay Tribute to Fallen Comrade Dan Wheldon
            With all of the safety advancements that auto racing has seen since the death of Dale Earnhardt, it’s been easy to forget just how dangerous the sport really is. Racing lost one it’s best personalities in Dan Wheldon. If Wheldon had been a successful NASCAR driver for the last decade, his sense of humor and joy for life would’ve easily made him a household name. For those that didn’t see the race (which I’ll assume is all of you), here’s what transpired.

            Dan Wheldon leaves behind his wife Susie, 2-year old son Sebastian, and 6-month old son Oliver. He was only 33 years old. R.I.P.

AL West Preview

4. Seattle Mariners

A-Level = RF Ichiro Suzuki, SP Felix Hernandez

B-Level = 3B Chone Figgins

C-Level = 1B Justin Smoak, SS Jack Wilson, CF Franklin Gutierrez, DH Jack Cust, SP Erik Bedard, SP Michael Pineda

Ceiling = 90 wins

Floor = 60 wins

Best Case Scenario = For Seattle to contend in the AL West, a lot of things need to happen. Chone Figgins needs to return to the form he showed during his years with the Angels. Justin Smoak needs to establish himself as a Major Leaguer after a disappointing first stint with Texas. Seattle needs at least 160 quality innings out of stud rookie Michael Pineda (at the time of this writing, it appears he’s on track for winning the 5^th starting spot). And lastly, they need 180 innings out of Erik Bedard. The odds of Bedard reaching that number are about the same as the odds of the moon crashing into the Earth, but this paragraph is titled “best case scenario”, so we can dream.

Outlook = It’s difficult to believe that all of those scenarios will occur during the same season. Look for Seattle’s offense to struggle, leaving the team with only 66 wins at season’s end.

3. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

A-Level = SP Jered Weaver, SP Dan Haren

B-Level = 1B Kendrys Morales, LF Vernon Wells, RF Torii Hunter, DH Bobby Abreu, SP Ervin Santana

C-Level = 2B Howard Kendrick, CF Peter Bourjos, SP Scott Kazmir, SP Joel Piniero

Ceiling = 90 wins

Floor = 75 wins

Best Case Scenario = I’d like a 3-4-5 lineup of Wells, Hunter, and Abreu if we were going into the 2003 season. Abreu and Hunter are players in decline, and it’s unclear whether Wells will be out to prove detractors of him wrong, or if he’s content to be living in a warm climate. The bullpen is also a major concern. To call Fernando Rodney scary doesn’t begin to do a typical 9^th inning by him justice.

Outlook = The bullpen is a major eye sore. I’ll predict a record of 82-80. While I’m here, I’ll also predict a vigorous pursuit of Albert Pujols next offseason.

2. Oakland Athletics

A-Level = CL Andrew Bailey

B-Level = CF Coco Crisp, SP Dallas Braden, SP Brett Anderson, SP Trevor Cahill, SP Gio Gonzalez

C-Level = C Kurt Suzuki, 3B Kevin Kouzmanoff, LF David Dejesus, RF Josh Willingham, DH Hideki Matsui, RP Brian Fuentes, RP Grant Balfour

Ceiling = 90 wins

Floor = 85 wins

Best Case Scenario = Oakland doesn’t have any stars, but they are blessed with a solid rotation. Brett Anderson and Gio Gonzalez have the skill set to be future leads of a pitching staff, and Cahill and Braden are reliable workhorses. Even their fifth starter, Brandon McCarthy, has looked good in spring training. Oakland also has the luxury of having plenty of arms in the bullpen. If they can find a way to manufacture runs, this can be a potential tough out in a first round playoffs series.

Outlook = I like Oakland to hang with Texas all year, but ultimately their sub-par offense will do leave them short. Look for 86-76.

1. Texas Rangers

A-Level = 2B Ian Kinsler, 3B Adrian Beltre, LF Josh Hamilton, RF Nelson Cruz, CL Neftali Feliz

B-Level = DH/UT Michael Young, SP C.J. Wilson, SP Colby Lewis

C-Level = SS Elvis Andrus, SP Tommy Hunter, SP Derek Holland

Ceiling = 95 wins

Floor = 80 wins

Best Case Scenario = One of the most enjoyable teams of the mid-90s were the Cleveland Indians. The statistics they put up in the strike shortened 1995 season were ridiculous. The team went 100-44. Albert Belle hit 50 home runs and 52 doubles in a 144 game season (he wasn’t on steroids or anything, no chance). Manny Ramirez was his second banana, smacking 31 homers and driving in 107. That Indians group also got all-star numbers from second baseman Carlos Baerga, Eddie Murray, Jim Thome, and the best base stealer at that time, Kenny Lofton. The offense was so good, Charles Nagy was able to go 16-6 with a 4.55 ERA.

            Why is anything of this relevant? Because if everything falls into place, Texas is capable of producing similar offensive firepower. Substitute Josh Hamilton for Belle, Cruz for Ramirez, Beltre for Jim Thome, and Kinsler as a mix between Lofton and Baerga, and you have the same team. Unless Texas makes a move mid-season to acquire an ace, it will be their offense that carries them.   

Outlook = I don’t expect Texas to win at a .694 clip like that Indians squad did, but I do expect them to win 89 games. That should be enough to capture the AL West.