Monday, November 15, 2010

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (11/12-11/14)

10. Wisconsin Scores 83 Points on Indiana
           
            Anytime a team hangs 80+ on a fellow conference opponent, and the sport is football, I’ll tip my cap. It’s hard to score 83 points in a game of Madden (unless you’re a sally and play on a level less than All-Madden), much less in a Big-10 game.

9. Carl Edwards Does a Back Flip After Winning the NASCAR Race at Phoenix

            This feat doesn’t get enough credit. I made two separate three hour drives this past weekend. Each time I got out of my car, my legs felt like jelly (perhaps this applies to just me and my poor athletic conditioning, but I hope a few of you share the same sensation). Edwards is able to climb out of a car after racing for 300, 400, or 500 miles, climb on top of it, and then do a back flip and land on pavement. Keep in mind that the cockpits of these cars are made so the drivers are wrapped up in a cocoon, and the temperature inside of them is usually around 120 degrees. I don’t know how he does it. 

8. Wade-less Cowboys Win in the Meadowlands

            I would’ve ranked this higher, but I can’t in good conscious get too excited about a team that’s still 2-7. I will say that I’m downright giddy about Dez Bryant’s future. If he can stay out of trouble, I have no doubt that he will be a top 5 receiver in THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE (that was a tribute to ESPN analyst Ron Jaworski for those who didn’t get the joke. My caps lock key didn’t break or anything).         

7. U.S. Authorities Stop Mac-Truck With 3 Tons of Marijuana on Board

            Can we devote one of my 648 cable channels solely to covering large drug busts 24 hours a day? I love these stories. This drug bust happened near Falfurriaa, Texas, on Friday. This is the conversation I think would’ve occurred on this truck shortly before it was pulled over (assuming that there was a passenger along with the driver).

Passenger: “Dude, there’s like, so much weed on this truck man.”
Driver: “Ya dude. It’s like, a lot.”
Passenger: “Wouldn’t it be cool if we just pulled over somewhere, and you know, smoked all of it?”
Driver: “Whoa dude, my brain just broke.”

            (EDITOR’S NOTE: The writer’s favorite all-time drug bust story involved former Cowboys offensive lineman Nate Newton. He was stopped once with about 210 pounds of marijuana, and then 10 days later was stopped again with 180 pounds of marijuana. Remarkably, both stops occurred while Newton was driving the same van)

6. Manny Pacquiao Wins a Unanimous Decision Over Antonio Margarito
           
            It’s a damn shame that 90% of the country stopped caring about boxing 20 years ago. Pacquiao doesn’t get nearly enough credit.

5. Jaguars Complete Hail Mary to Beat Texans at the Buzzer

            This could’ve been ranked second or third, but unfortunately the play involved two irrelevant teams. You have to feel bad for the Texans. Most of the time a Hail Mary is completed, it’s usually because the defense tried to catch the ball as opposed to knocking it straight to the ground. On this play, the Texans defensive back did attempt to knock the ball straight into the turf. Unfortunately, the ball landed squarely in the chest of the shortest player on the Jaguars team. Better luck next year Texans.

4. Bill Clinton Films Scene for “The Hangover 2”
           
If there are any jokes during his scene about a stain on a black dress, my aorta will detonate into 12,000 pieces.

3. Patriots Demolish Steelers 39-26

            It was a vintage performance by Tom Brady and the Patriots on Sunday night. The Steelers had no answer for the Patriots three wide receiver sets, or their two tight end formations. They couldn’t get any pressure on Brady, and they couldn’t cover the receivers. I thought the Patriots would be toast without Randy Moss to draw two defenders, but I was wrong.
            I’m a big nerd for match-ups like this. Measuring stick games go along way in predicting what will happen come playoff time. The Steelers are the big bullies that want to arm-wrestle their opponents, but the Patriots turned it into a chess match. Brady knew where every blitz was coming from. The Steelers secondary is serviceable, but they can’t hang with receivers forever if there pass rush isn’t getting there. I’m not sure what they can do to better disguise their blitzes in a future playoff match-up. I would suggest just rushing three and having 8 defenders back in zone coverage (the Patriots used this strategy with great success against the Colts in the early ‘00s).

2. Cam Newton Accounts for 4 TDs as Auburn Blasts Georgia

            I’m not sure what Cam Newton ever did to ESPN. Everyday last week, there was new allegations about him. Ole Miss started the firestorm by saying Newton’s father had informed them that Newton would need to be paid in order to attend the school. Then Florida jumped in and said that he stole another student’s assignment and claimed it as his own while playing for the Gators (interesting that this comes out years after the event occurred while the Gators are floundering and Newton is a Heisman Trophy candidate).
            My question to you readers (all nine or so of you) is, do you actually care if a kid in college gets paid to play football? Would you get angry if a law student got $10,000 from a prospective firm as an incentive to be employed there after graduating? I think the answer is no. The NCAA makes millions of dollars off of college football and basketball. If some of there players make a couple of bucks, then so be it.
            This wouldn’t even be a story if it weren’t for the aftermath of Reggie Bush giving up his Heisman trophy. I guess the media wants to make sure that there on top of this story from the get go. I don’t know how many of you remember Reggie Bush while he was at USC (I was in my late teenage years, so I can recall about 35% of that era, which I don’t think is half bad), but Reggie Bush and the USC Trojans were rock stars. They were as famous (if not more so) than every single NFL team. Is it so ridiculous that this kid would be offered certain benefits and accept them? Would you be able to turn down large sums of money when you’re currently not earning anything? The NCAA needs to worry about more important things (instituting a playoff system in college football, working with the NBA to extend the 1-year of college rule, kids tumbling to their death from a tower that is blown over by 50 mph wind gusts) than kid’s taking money.

1. My Son Evan Meets His Great-Great Grandfather and Great-Grandfather

            I didn’t want to spend much time gushing about my family in this space, but the two visits we had this weekend were definitely worth the cut. We made our first long-distance excursion as a family since our little guy was born 4 ½ months ago. Both grandparents were very excited to meet the newest addition to our family. My dad also made the trek to my grandfather’s, so we were able to take the “4-generation” photo. Pretty cool.

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