If you told me a week ago that the lead story on “Pardon the Interruption” would be the football game between Northwestern and Illinois, I would’ve said that you are on drugs. You’re telling me that a match-up between two unranked Big-10 teams is more important than the Colts-Patriots game this Sunday? Apparently it is, thanks to the quirky field dimensions at Wrigley Field. If you haven’t seen footage of the east end zone, take my word that it harkens back to the days of the Arena Football League. Padding over the outfield wall literally hangs over the field (keep in mind the padding is covering bricks). In the name of safety, it has been decided that all offensive plays will be run towards the west end of the field (sorry to the poor saps who bought seats in the east end zone. Good luck getting a refund).
I don’t know who came up with the field layout at Wrigley Field, but they should get an immediate raise. This person inadvertently created more buzz for this game than any promoter ever could. Other than fans of the two schools, I’m sure there weren’t more than 500 people in the country that even knew the two teams were playing this weekend. Kudos to you, idiotic field layout guy.
Shortly after watching the segment about the game on “PTI”, I started thinking about other irrelevant sporting events that could use gimmicks like this to raise their profile (I’m talking about you Major League Soccer). Here’s my quick list I came up with.
1. Regular Season MLB Games
When you have 30 teams playing 162 games a year, it’s hard to get super jazzed about a regular season baseball game (on second thought, I have a hard time getting excited for any baseball game at this point, but that’s my personal opinion). This is a very simple fix…bring back steroids.
Baseball was way more fun when we had 12 guys a year hitting 50+ homers. Remember when Luis Gonzalez randomly hit 57 home runs in 2001 (he had only one other season in his 19 year career where he hit more than 30)? Those were good times. I’d like to bring them back.
2. NASCAR
The NASCAR season concludes with their race to the Cell Phone Cup (alright I digress, the trophy is called the Sprint Cup) this Sunday. I was going to suggest planting explosives in various points of the track that detonate at random, but instead I’ll go with a more realistic suggestion.
NASCAR starts their season a week or two after the Super Bowl in February. It ends the Sunday before Thanksgiving. The season is too damn long. The start date is fine, but NASCAR should consider ending their season in September. Competing with college football and the NFL is a battle NASCAR will never win.
3. PGA
Someone from the PGA needs to tell Tiger Woods that he’s no longer married. He doesn’t need to keep up the “born-again-family-man” routine. If lining up the ladies like pins and knocking them over like a bowling ball was what got Tiger’s golf game going, then that’s what the executive’s for the PGA need to make happen. Television ratings make it very clear that the majority of America doesn’t care about golf unless Woods is doing well.
4. MLS
This fix is so simple. I’m not sure why it hasn’t been used already. All we need to do is take footage from the Spanish Premier League, use a little CGI to replace the Spanish players with images of Americans, and we’re good to go. People will be raving about the quality of play.
In all seriousness, I have a feeling that the United States will be one of the strongest soccer nations in the world within 20 years. More and more parents are not letting their children play football because of perceived risks of concussions. Soccer stands to benefit the most from this. Imagine if athletes like Tennessee Titan’s runningback Chris Johnson were playing soccer instead of football? Soccer will soon see an influx of quality athletes.
5. Horse Racing
More jockey fights. Enough said.
That’s all I have for now. Within the next couple of weeks, I’ll post some thoughts for lacrosse, curling, and figure skating. Until next time, keep your stick on the ice.
No comments:
Post a Comment