Monday, April 29, 2013

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (4/26-4/28)

10. Thunder Lose Russell Westbrook For Rest of Season
            God must’ve placed a preseason wager on Miami to repeat, because too many things have occurred that have enhanced their ability to win a second straight title. The Thunder will be lucky to make it to the conference finals.

9. Aaron Rodgers Becomes an Incredibly Wealthy Man
            This is a vast improvement over Rodgers’ financial situation last week, when he was merely a moderately wealthy man. He’ll get $40 million this year for his services on the gridiron.

8. Eagles Trade Up to Draft Matt Barkley in Fourth Round
7. New York Jets Use Second Round Pick on Geno Smith
            I’d mock the probable failure of both of these players more, but my Dallas Cowboys just delivered the worst draft class in the history of man.

6. Celtics Stave Off Elimination
            Great to see Boston win what will more than likely be Kevin Garnett’s final home game.

5. Jon Jones Dismantles Chael Sonnen
            Sonnen is a huge douche bag, so the more elbows inflicting serious harm on his face, the better.

4. Anibal Sanchez Whiffs 17 Braves
            For those not in the know, that’s a lot of fucking strikeouts.

3. Kevin Harvick Passes Six Cars in One Lap, Wins Richmond
            I duplicated this feat on NASCAR Thunder 2002 for PS2 back in the day, so this wasn’t really a big deal.

2. Thunder Pull Out Just Enough to Hold Off Rockets
            Kevin Durant better be prepared to take a beating for Oklahoma City’s remaining games this season.

1. Nate Robinson Loses His Mind, Bulls Win Triple-Overtime Thriller
            Nate Robinson directly resulted in my Charlie Sheen post a couple of years back becoming the most viewed page ever produced by this blog (on a day when he was laying in a hospital bed recovering from knee surgery no less), so whenever Nate goes ape shit and single-handedly wills a team into overtime, No Credentials approves.

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