10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (9/20-9/22)

10. Ohio State Wins By 76 Points

9. Louisville Wins By 72 Points
            In other words, it was a rough slate of college football games this weekend.

8. Henrik Stenson Wins Fed-Ex Cup

            Will I be bouncing my grandkids on my knee telling them about the time Henrik Stenson won the 2013 Fed-Ex Cup (for those not in the know, that’s some weird golf trophy the PGA made up after NASCAR created The Chase. For those not in the know about that, The Chase was NASCAR’s attempt to create a playoff system, even though 30 other cars that aren’t competing for the title are still on the track at the same time. We’ll invite the Jaguars to the Super Bowl this year and see how that works out. I’m ending this rant now)? No, but assuming Stenson is from Sweden, I’m happy for him. I don’t know what that means, but I needed to fill some space in the blog this week, so there you go.

7. Matt Kenseth Wins Second Straight to Open Chase
            Historically awful when racing in the woods of New Hampshire, Kenseth surged to the front during the final 100 miles. Kyle Busch came home second again to give Joe Gibbs another 1-2 finish.

6. Colts Manhandle 49ers

            I genuinely don’t know what to make of San Francisco’s listless performance against Indianapolis. They’ll have to right the ship quickly before their Thursday night date in St. Louis.

5. Redskins Lose Again at Home
4. Carolina Humiliates New York 38-0
            Not since the mid-90s have Dallas Cowboys fans had the pleasure of their two most hated rivals sucking so much at the same time. Washington couldn’t stop a Swiss army, while the Giants looked completely lost.

3. Jon Jones Survives UFC 165

            He’d never been taken down in the octagon, but Alexander Gustafsson was able to beat and batter the Light Heavyweight champ. Jon Jones won a lot of fans back into his corner after the backlash from bailing out on a pay-per-view event a year ago.

2. Cleveland Browns Destroy Suicide Pools Everywhere, Shock Vikings

            Logically, Cleveland had no chance of winning in the Metrodome, but as despised ESPN anchor Chris Berman would say, “THAT’S WHY THEY PLAY THE GAME.”

1. Bengals Win Back and Forth Struggle Over Green Bay

            It wasn’t always pretty, but Cincinnati firmly established itself as the second best team in the AFC with it’s rousing victory over the Packers. Even former No Credentials whipping boy Terrance Newman had a moment of glory when he ran back the game-winning fumble return.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (4/26-4/28)

10. Thunder Lose Russell Westbrook For Rest of Season
            God must’ve placed a preseason wager on Miami to repeat, because too many things have occurred that have enhanced their ability to win a second straight title. The Thunder will be lucky to make it to the conference finals.

9. Aaron Rodgers Becomes an Incredibly Wealthy Man

            This is a vast improvement over Rodgers’ financial situation last week, when he was merely a moderately wealthy man. He’ll get $40 million this year for his services on the gridiron.

8. Eagles Trade Up to Draft Matt Barkley in Fourth Round

7. New York Jets Use Second Round Pick on Geno Smith
            I’d mock the probable failure of both of these players more, but my Dallas Cowboys just delivered the worst draft class in the history of man.

6. Celtics Stave Off Elimination

            Great to see Boston win what will more than likely be Kevin Garnett’s final home game.

5. Jon Jones Dismantles Chael Sonnen
            Sonnen is a huge douche bag, so the more elbows inflicting serious harm on his face, the better.

4. Anibal Sanchez Whiffs 17 Braves

            For those not in the know, that’s a lot of fucking strikeouts.

3. Kevin Harvick Passes Six Cars in One Lap, Wins Richmond
            I duplicated this feat on NASCAR Thunder 2002 for PS2 back in the day, so this wasn’t really a big deal.

2. Thunder Pull Out Just Enough to Hold Off Rockets

            Kevin Durant better be prepared to take a beating for Oklahoma City’s remaining games this season.

1. Nate Robinson Loses His Mind, Bulls Win Triple-Overtime Thriller

            Nate Robinson directly resulted in my Charlie Sheen post a couple of years back becoming the most viewed page ever produced by this blog (on a day when he was laying in a hospital bed recovering from knee surgery no less), so whenever Nate goes ape shit and single-handedly wills a team into overtime, No Credentials approves.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (9/21-9/23)

10. Jon Jones Survives An Early Armbar, Submits Vitor Belfort
            To the dismay of Dana White and millions of disgruntled MMA fans everywhere, a dislocated elbow wasn’t enough to hold down Jon Jones.

9. Denny Hamlin Dominates in New Hampshire

            A solid bounce-back by No Credentials preseason championship pick. Even despite his crew trying to hijack his qualifying effort, Hamlin methodically picked his way through the field from his 32^nd starting spot. He’ll be one of the favorites next week when the circuit moves on to Dover.

8. Bears Win 23-6

            This game wasn’t really all that awesome, but I did pick Chicago in the Sportsbook 100K Survivor Pool.

7. Notre Dame Shuts Down Michigan

            It’s time to call your crazy Catholic uncle who gave up on college football 12 years ago…Notre Dame is back.

6. Falcons, Texans, and Cardinals Last Undefeated Teams Left in NFL

            Who had that trio pegged as the last teams to lose in the league? All three look legit after impressive wins Sunday.

5. Minnesota Vikings Shock 49ers
            I’ll be the first to dub Sunday’s shocking result in the Metrodome “The Christian Ponder Game”.

4. Replacement Refs Make Complete Mess of Lions-Titans Game

            I’d knock the replacements more, but this game did turn out to be the most entertaining one of the week, so maybe they deserve some of the credit. Here’s the list of wacky things that happened.

-         A reenactment of the famous “Music City Miracle” occurred, resulting in a 65-yard punt return for the Titans.

-         Jake Locker completed touchdowns of both 61 and 71 yards.

-         Lions runningback Mikel Leshoure ran for 100 yards, which I think is the first time a Lions runningback broke the century mark since Barry Sanders in 1998.

-         Tennessee was up 20-9. Detroit was then up 27-20. Tennessee was then up 41-27. Naturally, the game went to overtime.

-         The game went to overtime after Detroit scored two touchdowns in 18 seconds, with the second being of the Hail-Mary variety.

             I don’t think the writers of “Playmakers” could of pumped more crazy shit into one script than what happened in this game.

3. Sean Payton Does Matter, Saints Are 0-3
            As soon as his suspension is over, Sean Payton better be asking for a raise.

2. Ravens Win Wild, 31-30 Game Over New England
1. Torrey Smith Honors His Brother
            Let’s forget for a moment that the refs put on one of the most uneven displays of officiating in NFL history.. Let’s also forget that Bill Belichick grabbed an official, and then his head looked like it was going to explode during his post-game press conference. Let’s instead focus on Torrey Smith, who’s brother passed away in a motorcycle accident just 19 hours before kickoff. Playing on an hour of broken sleep, Smith caught six passes for 127 yards and two critical touchdowns. His first fired up the Ravens after the Patriots stormed out to a 13-0 lead. It was hard not to get goose bumps as he pointed to the sky. It’s usually overkill to say that any professional athlete’s performance was inspiring, but Torrey Smith’s accomplishments Sunday night fit that description

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (4/20-4/22)

10. Fenway Turns 100, Red Sox Celebrate With Epic Implosion
            Boston’s play was so awful against New York that God did them a favor and dumped rain Sunday night, canceling an inevitable Yankee sweep. No Credentials’ news department is working on a story about Bobby Valentine, so stay tuned…

9. Dwyane Wade Bans Girlfriend From Courtside Side Seats

            A stupid story for sure, but the headline is funny enough. In related news, I’ve banned my wife from ever attending my local open gym so my jumpers don’t become even more erratic than they already are.

8. Lakers Defeat Oklahoma City in Double-Overtime Slugfest

            Overshadowing Kobe Bryant’s heroics was the violent elbow to the head Metta World Peace delivered to James Harden. I’m still trying to figure out how World Peace can call it an accident. I’ll give a fake prize to the first reader who can come up with another time someone celebrated a great play by swinging his or her elbow back at full force.

7. Denny Hamlin Steals Win From Martin Truex Jr. at Kansas

            Truex dominated most of the afternoon, but when the sun finally peaked through on a miserable cold day, Hamlin came to life and stole the trophy. That’s two wins for No Credentials pre-season championship pick.

6. Kings Knock Out Canucks

5. Predators Eliminate Red Wings
            The folks at NBC won’t like two of the most popular teams getting eliminated in the first round, but it’s great to see two teams with little to no recent success come up with a first round win. Both Los Angeles (behind Jonathan Quick) and Nashville (behind Pekka Rinne) are great examples of how far a goalie can take you.

4. Jon Jones Manhandles Rashad Evans

            Even on an off night, Jones was still in command of Evans for the entire match.

3. Real Madrid Stuns Barcelona

            Being not much of a futbol guy, I always had assumed that Cristiano Ronaldo was an over-rated pretty boy. His game-winning goal Saturday proves otherwise.

2. White Sox Pitcher Philip Humber Throws Perfect Game

            I don’t mean to piss on Mr. Humber’s fire, but shouldn’t this feat get an asterisk because he did it against the Mariners?

1. Tyler Seguin Lifts Bruins to Game 7

            It took six games, but Boston’s young phenom finally made a difference with the game-winning goal Sunday. Seguin and the rest of the big guns on Boston had been quiet all series. If they fire on all cylinders Wednesday, the Bruins will move on to round 2.