NFL Week 8 Thoughts

     Thankfully, we finally fell under .500 last week, so we're taking the rest of the season off from making picks based off point spreads. Well, except for one game a week.

Washington (+10) over COWBOYS

     We've picked against my Dallas Cowboys every week of the NFL season, and I firmly believe that's the reason they are 6-1. So even if there are no other picks in this space, we'll always post a Cowboys pick.
     As for the rest of the slate, we'll post some thoughts, predictions, or facts that have no relevance to actual games. Enjoy.

I'm Glad I'll Be Working During the Falcons-Lions Game Tomorrow Morning
     You know who else is? My wife. Seriously NFL, you've already pissed off enough women this year. Let's try not to make football last for 15 consecutive hours.

What Do You Get With No Steroids in Baseball? The Worst World Series Ever
    The Royals and Giants are dog shit. If either club played the '98 Yankees 10 times, they'd be lucky to win twice.

The Saints Shouldn't Be Favored Against Aaron Rodgers
     Yet incredibly, the line is still SAINTS (-2) as of the time of this writing.

Let's Keep Running DeMarco Murray Into the Ground
     He's a free agent after the year anyway. With as good as the offensive line is, it doesn't matter who is toting the rock for the Cowboys.

Denver Might Be the Only Super Bowl Caliber Team in the League
     Seattle and San Francisco still have time to turn it around (the 49ers will get a lot of dudes back on defense during the second half of the season), but for now it's Denver and then everyone else. Since the advent of the weekly Thursday night game, we haven't seen a better two win in five day stretch like the Broncos just pulled against San Francisco and the Chargers.

We're Happy Bob is Getting Eaten on "The Walking Dead"
     It's not an endorsement of cannibalism, but I really hate Bob, and thought he should've died sometime last season.

Detroit and Cincinnati Are Lurking
     Both clubs are missing elite wide receivers, and should return to previous offensive production upon their return.

Jacksonville is Our Underdog Pick of the Week
     This pick has more to do with how frustrating the Dolphins have been over the last few years than an endorsement of the Jaguars.

     I'd post more, but I have to go to work in six hours. Until next time...

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (10/10-10/13)

10. I Turn 29 Years Old

            I look forward to celebrating my 29^th for the next seventy years.

9. Joe Flacco Chucks Five First Half Touchdowns

            Reportedly, Flacco’s touchdowns still counted for 20 points in standard fantasy football leagues despite the fact he threw them against the hapless Buccaneers.

8. Terminus Already Blew Up
            Kudos to the folks running “The Walking Dead’ for not leaving our heroes captive with a bunch of hipster cannibals.

7. Baylor Outguns TCU
            In a game where the final score was 61-58, I guess TCU shouldn’t of felt too safe with a 24 point lead.

6. NASCAR Fight!

            Keselowski and Kenseth are two of our favorite drivers here in the Muir household, so this fight wasn’t as satisfying for us as the typical NASCAR brawl.

           

5. Mississippi State Defeats Auburn, Claims Top Spot in AP Poll

4. Royals Grab 2-0 Lead Over Baltimore

            Kansas City is halfway to a trip to the World Series, and the state of Mississippi rules college football. We’re buying tons of canned goods and bottled water on our next grocery run.

           

3. Aaron Rodgers Does a Marino Impression, Leads Last Gasp Victory Over Miami

            You can’t fall for the play that your most famous quarterback in franchise history invented. Shame on the Dolphins.         

2. Kolten Wong Smashes Walk Off Dinger, Evens Series With Giants

            It was a nice moment for Mr. Wong, who infamously was picked off to end a World Series game last year against Boston.

1. Dallas Wins at Seattle

            Short of Tony Romo and DeMarco Murray showing up at my front door with a lifetime supply of cash, there’s really nothing else those two dudes could’ve done to make my birthday any better. 

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (3/28-3/30)

10. Eagles Release DeSean Jackson
            Whether the rumors of DeSean Jackson’s alleged gang involvement are true, kudos to the Eagles for putting character over performance. Jackson was coming off a career year during his first season playing for Chip Kelly, and stands to be a valuable addition for whichever team picks him up.

9. Philadelphia 76ers Win an NBA Basketball Game

            This is only notable because they lost their previous 26 contests.

8. Angels Lock up Mike Trout
            Call me crazy, but the contracts given to Mike Trout and Miguel Cabrera over the past few days feel like they should’ve been reversed.

7. Kentucky Peaks at the Perfect Time, Takes Down Louisville in Sweet 16
            We thought this would be Kentucky’s only appearance in this weekend review, but like the majority of our March Madness predictions, we were wrong.

6. Rick Grimes Bites A Dude’s Jugular on “The Walking Dead”

            Big news, Rick isn’t a pansy anymore!

5. Connecticut Stifles Spartans in Second Half, Advances to Final 4

            I thought Michigan State fell apart after the halftime recess, which is very strange for a team coached by Tom Izzo. At least we can feel happy for Connecticut now that Jim Calhoun is no longer their Head Coach.

4. Dayton’s Run Ends, Gators Reach Final 4

            Florida got to play one of the softer a slates a #1 seed has had to face in a long time, and in terms of seeding it stays easy when they face #7 Connecticut. The Huskies were the last team to beat the Gators all the way back in December.
         
3. The Outlaw Returns to Victory Lane
            For those not in the know, The Outlaw is Kurt Busch, who after two seasons racing for under-funded teams, showed he is still championship caliber with a pass of Jimmie Johnson with 10 laps to go.
         
2. Clutch 3 Puts Kentucky Into Final 4
            The Harrison twins have been a dynamic force the entire tournament, and an Aaron Harrison bomb with two seconds left doomed Michigan. They have more raw talent than any of the other Final 4 participants.

1. Wisconsin Takes Down #1 Seed Arizona in Overtime

            Wisconsin is normally known for an offense that sort of runs like a clogged toilet, but thanks to some talented big men, this isn’t your grandfather’s Badgers. They are in there first Final Four in 14 years, and they are my pick to win the whole thing, which probably means you should wager a shit load of money on Kentucky next Saturday.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (3/14-3/16)

10. It Sucks (sort of) Being a NFL Runningback
            Somewhere in an alternate universe where movies are reality, Coach Kilmer from “Varsity Blues” was smiling after Ben Tate only inked a two-year, $7 million deal with Cleveland.

9. Kids Die on “The Walking Dead”

            While it was definitely disturbing television last night, we applaud “The Walking Dead” for taking the story in a direction only a handful of shows in television history would ever go.

8. Patriots Actually Resign a Wide Receiver

            Julian Edelman is a nice re-sign, but I’m sure Tom Brady would’ve rather seen New England make this decision last year with Wes Welker.

7. Phil Jackson Signs on to Run New York Knicks
            We’re not sure how many days Jackson will actually spend in New York, but at this point in his career I’m sure he can run a NBA organization like it’s a fantasy team. At the very least, it will be high comedy to watch J.R. Smith try to learn the triangle offense.

6. Julius Peppers Lands on His Feet, Joins Green Bay Packers

            Who says Green Bay won’t open the checkbook in free agency? I’m not sure how Peppers (who’s always been a 4-3 defensive end) fits in a 3-4 scheme, but he is athletic enough to play as a rush linebacker.

5. Carl Edwards Wins Rain-Ravaged Food City 500

            Here’s an idea NASCAR, let’s run races in only the west coast, southwest, or Florida until April. At least Cousin Carl earned a ticket to the playoffs in this farce of a Sprint Cup event.

4. Pacers Pull Off 25-Point Comeback, Win in Overtime at Detroit

            Like many of the NBA superpowers in recent weeks, the Pacers had been in a bit of a funk. Perhaps a furious comeback (it still counts, even if it came against a team built by Joe Dumars) will right them for the stretch run.
         
3. Rich Peverley Returns to Watch the Dallas Stars Face Calgary
            Considering that Peverley technically died for a few seconds the last time he was on the ice, it was awesome to see him back at the arena. Here’s to the former Bruin having a speedy recovery, and making a return to NHL competition in the near future.
          
2. Anthony Davis Goes Bonkers Against Boston
            One of the few proclamations No Credentials has ever been right about was The Brow’s potential to be the next Kevin Garnett. He went into beast mode against the Celtics Sunday night.
 
1. Florida, Arizona, Wichita State, Virginia Nab #1 Seeds
            We don’t want to spoil too much of our billion dollar winning bracket, so check back with us tomorrow or Wednesday for our “expert” analysis.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (2/7-2/9)

10. Boxing Match Between DMX and George Zimmerman Cancelled
            Score one for political correctness.

9. Sage Kotsenberg Wins First Gold Medal of Winter Olympics

            USA! USA! USA! USA!

8. Marcus Smart Shoves a Fan, Earns a Three Game Suspension

            This could morph him into the wildcard of the NBA Draft if teams overreact and he free falls out of the top 10.

7. Peyton Manning Plays Golf
            There’s nothing really noteworthy about this, other than Manning spending a bunch of quality time with Tom Brady and Bill Belichick.

6. Iowa State Senior Melvin Ejim Nets Big 12 Record 48 Points

            Incredibly, it only took Ejim 24 field goal attempts for him to have his record setting night.

5. Carl Almost Got Eaten on “The Walking Dead”

            If he did, it would’ve been number 2 on this list.

4. Magic Net Upset of Oklahoma City    

3. Miami Struggles in Utah
            Score two for tankers. At least the Thunder got back on track Sunday thanks to 41 points from Kevin Durant.
        
2. George Hill Carries Pacers Over Portland
            Indiana-Portland would probably be the NBA’s worst-case scenario for a NBA Finals (in terms of TV ratings), but based on Friday night’s overtime thriller, it would be entertaining to die-hard hoop fans.

1. NFL Draft Prospect Michael Sam Comes Out

            Hopefully twenty years from now this won’t have to be a story (because it won’t be a big deal), but Sam will become the first openly gay NFL player. He was an All-American who led the SEC in sacks in 2013, so he’s got a chance to produce at the pro level. He should be an inspiration to everyone to be proud of who you are.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (11/29-12/1)

10. Robinson Cano and New York Yankees Far Apart in Negotiations
            Cano is an interesting case study for “everyone knows 10-year mega deals are bad, but some team will be desperate enough to do it”. He’s probably worth $25 million for the next five years, but it will be interesting to see if a team takes the plunge (Dodgers, Nationals, Rangers), or if Cano settles for a shorter deal.

9. Nickpolean Dynafoles Tosses Three More Touchdowns

            2013 has been a weird year of football, but nothing is stranger than Nick Foles starting the year with 19 touchdown passes without throwing a single interception. You keep waiting for the wheels to come off, but he’s starting to look like a guy the Eagles can invest in long term.

8. Indiana Pacers Push Record To 16-1

            The Pacers look more and more like the team that has the best chance to knock the Heat out in the playoffs.

7. Russell Westbrook 3 Leads Thunder Over Warriors
            Oklahoma City did well to hold the fort while Russell Westbrook rounded into form, and now that he is, the Thunder have reestablished themselves as one of the elite teams in the Western Conference again.

6. Hershel, the Governor, and the Prison Go Down on “The Walking Dead”

            We would’ve liked to see the drunk guy go (he got shot, but it looks like he’ll live), but otherwise this episode covered everything No Credentials wanted in the mid-season finale.

5. Ohio State Hangs On For Dear Life Against Michigan
            After surviving in Ann Arbor, the Buckeyes need a win in the Big 10 Championship Game against Michigan State too (computers permitting) have a chance at a national title.

4. Denver Puts Up 28 Straight, Takes Control of AFC

            On what proved to be a bad day to go up against Peyton Manning and Eric Decker in fantasy, Kansas City proved once and for all that they aren’t quite ready for primetime.

3. Patriots Pull Out Victory Over Pesky Texans

            Based on the past two weeks, it wouldn’t be shocking if the Patriots demise were the result of some team running the ball down their throats.
       
2. Josh Gordon Carries My Fantasy Teams to Victory
            Sure it hasn’t resulted in real life wins, but Josh Gordon has been swinging fantasy leagues across the country. His stat line over the last two weeks is 24 receptions, 498 yards, and three touchdowns, which is all the more impressive when you consider the vast majority of these receptions were made while Brandon Weeden was throwing him the ball.

1. Auburn Runs Back Missed Field Goal, Stuns Alabama

            I guess anytime you can give a freshman who had made one of two field goal attempts this season (with the made field goal coming from 20 yards out) an oppurtunity to kick a 57-yard field goal with one second left in a tie game, you have to do it. Other than quitting the Miami Dolphins after just weeks earlier saying he wouldn’t take the Alabama job, this should go down as the biggest “W.T.F.” moment of Nick Saban’s career.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (3/29-3/31)

10. Dallas Cowboys Give Tony Romo a Bunch of Cash
            Evidently, one playoff win in seven seasons is worth $108 million. Somewhere on Earth, Tom Brady threw up in his mouth when he heard of this signing.

9. Miami Heat Sit Lebron and Wade Against Spurs

            The last team these two teams met, Greg Popovich sat his best players and earned a $100,000 fine. I don’t think the Heat will suffer the same fate.

8. Sidney Crosby Takes a Puck IN THE FACE

            Normally an injury to the best player in the world wouldn’t make the list, but at least he didn’t suffer a concussion. Crosby will be back for the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

7. Houston Astros Win First Game in the American League
            Good for them, because this is likely the most games over .500 the Astros will be all season.

6. Syracuse Suffocates Marquette Makes Final 4

            Marquette should be embarrassed to only put up 39 points in a regional final.

5. Baylor Women Lose in Sweet 16
            Easter Sunday was a tough day for those of you that like watching tall women dunk.

4. Michigan Pulls Off Improbable Sweet 16 Overtime Win Over Kansas

            The Wolverines, which looked like a team that could easily be beaten by #13 South Dakota St., have suddenly caught fire on their way to the Final 4.

3. Wichita St. Knocks Out Annoying White Point Guard For Ohio State, Makes Final Four
            No one will miss Aaron Kraft than CBS announcer Clark Kellogg.

2. Louisville Crushes Duke
            Impressive effort by the tournament’s top seed, which had to overcome watching a teammate suffer a compound fracture.

1. Andrea Dies on “The Walking Dead”

            Thank goodness she croaked, otherwise this would’ve been a completely worthless season finale.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (3/15-3/17)

10. LMFAO’s Redfoo Enters US Open Qualifying Tournament
            His chances of making the only major tennis tournament in the United States greatly increase if he doesn’t play with a sparkly blue Speedo.

9. Kyle Busch Holds Off Kyle Larson For Bristol Nationwide Series Win

            It’s been a rough start to 2013 for Larson (he only almost flipped into the main grandstands at Daytona), so it was good to see the nineteen year-old run a clean race and come up just short of his first Nationwide win.

8. This Week’s Episode of “The Walking Dead” Was Significantly Better Than Last Weeks

            I’ll grant you that it wasn’t hard to top last week’s show (which other than the water zombie episode in season 2, was probably the worst in the history of the show), but the chase scene between Andrea and the Governor was moderately riveting. It’s a shame that they both didn’t get eaten by zombies.

7. GSP Does His Thing
            It’s a good thing too. America doesn’t like tax evaders.

6. Heat Extend Winning Streak to 22

            You heard it here first…it ends tonight. Well, as long as Garnett plays.

5. Kentucky Doesn’t Make the NCAA Tournament
            Avid readers of this blog (all 13 of you) may recall that I occasionally celebrate the shortcomings of certain college coaches. In no particular order, here’s the list of coaches that are candidates for such a mention in the weekly top 10.

1.      Mike Krzyzewski, Duke Blue Devils

2.      Nick Saban, Alabama Crimson Tide

3.      John Calipari, Kentucky Wildcats

4.      Mike Krzyzewski, Duke Blue Devils

5.      Nick Saban, Alabama Crimson Tide

Saban and Coach K earn double hate.

4. Miami Hurricanes Win First ACC Championship

            Impressive run by Miami, who backed up their first regular season ACC title in tournament play. They are a dark horse to make a run at The Final 4.

3. Ole Miss Solidifies Tournament Bid With Win Over Florida
            I hadn’t thought about Ole Miss as an institution since Eli Manning was there, so we’ll tip our cap to the Rebels for a job well done.

2. Louisville Blitzes Syracuse, Wins Big East Title
            When you turn a 13-point halftime deficit into a 17-point blowout, you deserve the #1 overall seed.

1. Tires Explode, Tempers Flare, and Kasey Kahne Wins at Bristol

            NASCAR races are always more exciting when tires randomly fail at the most inopportune times.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (3/1-3/3)

10. Kyle Busch Dominates Nationwide Race at Phoenix
            Because you know, it’s a good thing when an established Sprint Cup driver dominates a second tier race.

9. Rick Finds Morgan on “The Walking Dead”

            Unfortunately, Morgan was off his rocker.

8. Real Madrid Knocks Off Barcelona For the Second Time in a Week

            Surprisingly, pretty boy Cristiano Ronaldo actually got the better of Lionel Messi for a change.

7. Joe Flacco Inks Largest Contract in NFL History

            Not to take away from Flacco, who had an incredible postseason, but I could think of 12 to 15 quarterbacks I’d rather have starting for my team instead of him next season.

6. Blackhawks Extend Point Streak to 22 Straight Games

            I don’t think we’ve seen a hockey team play this well since the late-90s edition of the Detroit Red Wings.

5. Magic Johnson Offers Lebron James $1 Million if He Wins Dunk Contest
            No Credentials has been suggesting that cash should be used as the primary motivator for all exhibition events involving professional athletes, so kudos to Magic Johnson for making the offer.

4. Heat Net 14^th Straight Win in Madison Square Garden

            The Knicks jumped out to a 16-point first half lead, but it wasn’t a large enough cushion to hold off Lebron James. Miami pushed the streak to 15 games tonight.

3. Penguins Win 7-6 Barnburner in Montreal
            Who needs an NHL All-Star team when these two teams combined for 80 shots Saturday night.

2. Carl Edwards Brings Back the Back Flip, Wins at Phoenix

            I think everyone can agree that NASCAR is a way more fun when Cousin Carl is relevant.

1. Bruins Score 3 Times in Third, Stun Lightning

            Sunday night’s loss to arch rival Montreal put a damper on the weekend, but Boston’s efforts at home Saturday afternoon should not be forgotten.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (2/15-2/17)

10. Rick Grimes Keeps Seeing His Dead Wife
            I watch “The Walking Dead” to see zombies, not a dude going bonkers and making out with a ghost.

9. Rafael Nadal Wins First Tennis Tournament Since Returning From Injury

            Tennis is way more interest when Nadal is in the mix. That’s your Troy Aikman-esque comment of the day, sponsored by “You’re Absolutely Right Joe”.

8. Lionel Messi Scores 300^th Career Goal For Barcelona

            Here’s your obligatory mention of futbol in the weekly top 10 to soak up some cheap page hits from Europe.

7. Terrance Ross Wins the Worst Dunk Contest Ever

            Want to get some stars into the dunk contest? Let’s offer a $1 million (after taxes) to the winner. You’ll get some name guys to particpate for that prize.

6. Michael Kidd-Gilchrist Admits He Lost 1-on-1 Game Against Michael Jordan

            I’d make fun of Kidd-Gilchrist more, but I once got up-faked by a dude in his sixties a couple of years back.

5. #2 Duke Gets Upset By Maryland
            Here’s this week’s installment of the “Big Time College Basketball Upset That No Credentials Doesn’t Give A Shit About”, sponsored by Apple Cider Vinegar.

4. Kyrie Irving Takes Home 3-Point Shootout Championship

            An impressive showing by the Cavaliers budding superstar point guard, who scored 23 out of a possible 30 points in the final round against New Hampshire’s own Matt Bonner.

3. Kevin Harvick Starts Lame-Duck Season With Sprint Unlimited Win
            We won’t put too much stock in this win as the majority of the top teams were knocked out early in the race, so don’t look for Harvick to be ranked very high in this week’s NASCAR season preview.

2. Danica Patrick Wins Daytona 500 Pole

            NASCAR has a long list of “storybook” outcomes, so here’s where Danica’s pole winning run ranks.

1. Richard Petty claiming his 200^th and final career win with Ronald Reagan in attendance at the 1984 Firecracker 400 (Petty was, and still is, a diehard Republican, so this victory turned into a glorified campaign stop for Reagan while he was running for his second term in office).

2. Dale Earnhardt Jr. winning the Pepsi 400 just five months after his father died in a last-lap crash in the 500 (as someone who watched the whole race live, I don’t care about the conspiracy theory. That was the most memorable NASCAR victory by anyone of the entire decade).
3. Danica Patrick winning the pole for this year’s Daytona 500.

            You might think I’d come down negatively on this, but you’d be mistaken. Qualifying at Daytona is in the discussion of most boring things you could ever watch on television. Furthermore, qualifying means very little at a restrictor plate track where cars zoom from the back to the front in less than a handful of laps. If NASCAR did anything to “encourage” a pole-winning run by Patrick, I’d call that some damn good marketing.

1. Chris Paul Quarterbacks West Win in NBA All-Star Game

            Paul was the MVP, Kevin Durant was the best scorer, but it was Kobe Bryant’s two blocks of Lebron James that will go in the books as the most memorable moments of the game.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (11/30-12/2)

10. NBA Fines Spurs $250K For “Restgate”
            It’s relatively amusing that Danny Green, the youngest player that Greg Popovich sent home for last Thursday’s game in Miami, now is dealing with a pulled hamstring.

9. LA Galaxy Win Their Second Straight MLS Championship

            Roughly 23,000 people give a shit.

8. Northern Illinois Crashes BCS Party

            Congrats to the Mid-American Conference champions for earning the right to get blown out by 35 points against Florida State in the Sugar Bowl.

7. Denver Broncos Clinch the AFC West

            Not a lot of folks would’ve predicted that Denver would have a playoff spot wrapped up with four games to play in the regular season.

6. Michonne Kills the Governor’s Zombie Daughter, Than Stabs Him in the Eye With a Shard of Glass on “The Walking Dead”.

            That headline pretty much sums up the reason the mid-season finale made the list.

5. Sidney Rice Nearly Gets Head Torn Off While Scoring Game-Winning Touchdown

            For a guy who’s dealt with concussions throughout his career, this was a truly inspiring effort by Sidney Rice. Seattle appears to have a firm hold on the second wildcard spot in the NFC with three of their four remaining games at home. 
          
4. Orlando Magic Win First Game Against Dwight Howard
            Orlando won’t have a lot to get excited about this season (unless you’re a fan of watching Glen Davis drawing charges), so good for them for embarrassing their former franchise player Sunday night.

3. Charlie Batch Leads Stunning Steelers Comeback at Baltimore
            It’s a minor miracle that Charlie Batch is still employed by a NFL team, much less leading a fourth quarter rally against Pittsburgh’s most hated rival. If Ben Roethlisberger is leading the Steelers to a Super Bowl title in January, this is the game that will have started the run.

2. Alabama Wins Epic SEC Title Game, Earns BCS Championship Berth

            No Credentials predicts that Alabama will have a much easier time with Notre Dame than they did with Georgia.

1. Chiefs Win Despite Tragic Events a Day Earlier

            I can’t even get mad about Kansas City booting No Credentials out of the Sportsbook Survivor Pool (I had chosen Carolina Friday night) after what they overcame to win on Sunday.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (11/2-11/4)

10. NHL Cancels the Winter Classic
            You can kiss the 2012-13 season goodbye with the announcement that their biggest moneymaking event (even more so than the Stanley Cup Finals) has been eliminated.

9. The Hammer of God Will Return

            It would’ve been a shame for Mariano Rivera’s career to end while shagging foul balls in batting practice.

8. Fear the Beard

            James Harden’s start with the Houston Rockets would’ve been #3 on this list if it weren’t for him running out of gas against Portland Saturday night, mostly because he’s on both of my fantasy teams.

7. Jimmie Johnson Wins Slugfest Over Brad Keselowski at Texas

            Let it be known that Keselowski had this race in the bag if he didn’t slide too far into his pit box with 58 laps to go. Who know that pitting behind Danica Patrick could be so treacherous.

6. Oregon and USC Combine for 113 Points

            For those unfamiliar with the game of football, that’s a lot of fucking points.

5. Ray Allen Completes Game-Winning Four Point Play

            Allen’s game-winning shot was a sum of all fears play for the rest of the NBA. Lebron James drove to the basket, Allen’s man left to help, and James hit him for a wide-open three. Allen doesn’t even need to move on this team.
          
4. Lori and T-Dog Bite the Dust on “The Walking Dead”
            If we can get confirmation that Carol croaked, that’s the three most unlikable characters killed off. The only thing that would've made Sunday's episode better was Lori's fetus being a zombie and eating her from the inside. 

3. Notre Dame Prevails in Triple Overtime
            There isn’t a more compelling team week-to-week in college football than Notre
Dame. Expect the fun to last two more weeks before they get their doors blown off by USC.

2. Down 10 in the Fourth, Steelers Make a Statement Against Giants
            Ben Roethlisberger served Eli Manning a piece of his own medicine, engineering some fourth quarter magic. Pittsburgh has reestablished themselves as legitimate Super Bowl contenders.

1. Alabama Makes Stunning Comeback at LSU

            Les Miles was the unofficial MVP of the game for Alabama. If it wasn’t for multiple horrendous decisions, LSU pulls off the upset.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (10/26-10/28)

10. Marcus Lattimore Might Still Be Able to Play Football
            This is great news, considering his knee injury was one of the worst leg injuries we’ve seen in years on a football field. 

9. Vick Ballard Does His Best “Matrix” Impersonation

            We’ll let the video do the talking.

 

8. Jimmie Johnson Dominates Martinsville, Takes Chase Lead

            Jimmie Johnson did exactly what No Credentials predicted he would a week ago, but the bigger story was Brad Keselowski only being down 2 points with three races to play. A sixth place at one of his least favorite tracks has to feel like a win.

7. Oregon Hangs 70 on Colorado

6. Notre Dame Dominates Oklahoma
            Scoring 70 points on a fellow D1 (or bowl sub-division, or whatever the elite division of football is called) school is impressive, but walking into Oklahoma’s field and coming out with a 17-point win takes the cake. Notre Dame deserved to leap frog Oregon in the polls.

5. Rob Gronkowski Celebrates Two Touchdowns

            I’ll take his reenactment of a little nutcracker duder over his pelvic gyrations.

4. Giants Sweep Tigers
            Kudos to the Giants for winning a second World Series in three years that no one other than Giants fans will remember in a decade.

3. Merle Returns to “The Walking Dead”
            No one is more excited about it than my wife.

2. Thunder Trade James Harden to Houston

            I’ll say this about Oklahoma City General Manager Sam Presti…the man has big onions. I personally think that Durant and Westbrook are talented enough to initiate the offense without Harden, and if the draft picks they get prove to have value, the Thunder’s long-term outlook will eventually look brighter.

1. Giants Survive By Mere Inches Against Dallas

            You can add having an apparent game-winning Hail Mary getting overturned to the ways the Dallas Cowboys have lost a game. In all honesty though, they had no business winning, so perhaps it was karma.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (10/11-10/13)

10. Derek Jeter Fractures His Left Ankle
            Even the staunchest Red Sox Nation supporter has to feel bad for the Yankees captain. Much like Peyton Manning going down last year, you’d much rather see your rival lose on the field than not be able to play because of injury.

9. Anderson Silva Destroys Stephan Bonner

            Silva was brought in to UFC 153 to essentially save the card, and put on a dominating display. If Dana White has his way, a date with Jon Jones could be in his future.

8. Notre Dame Survives Frantic Finish, Knocks Off Stanford in Overtime

            Notre Dame isn’t playing the sexiest brand of football, but they are 6-0 for the first time in a decade.

7. Clint Bowyer Has Just Enough Gas to Win at Charlotte

            A big night in the Chase, as mismanagement of fuel mileage by Brad Keselowski has tightened the standings.

6. Aaron Rodgers Throws Ten Million Touchdown Passes

            All right, Rodgers actually only threw six touchdown passes, but ten million made for a sexier headline. Huge performance by the Packers on the road in a must win game.

5. Felix Baumgartner Successfully Plummets 24 Miles From Outer Space

            I don’t mean to be morbid, but what would’ve happened if this freefall were unsuccessful? Would he have pile-drived through the Earth’s crust and reappeared in Sweden?

4. Herschel Gets His Leg Bit, Then Cut Off On “The Walking Dead”
            As my wife astutely pointed out shortly after the conclusion of the Season 3 premier, it didn’t make a whole lot of sense for Rick to drag the man who’s supposed to deliver your wife’s baby along on a dangerous search mission.

3. Ravens Try to Give Game Away, Still Beat Cowboys
            This game covered the majority of reasons the Dallas Cowboys lose football games. Let’s run through the list and check off everything they hit Sunday.

A.     A backbreaking turnover or two or five (Check. Romo’s interception late in the first half turned what should’ve been a 13-10 lead into a 17-10 deficit. For those of you not mathematically inclined, that’s a 10-point swing)

B.     A goofy special teams play (Check. Jacoby Jones tied the NFL record for longest kickoff return with his 108-yard touchdown in the third quarter)

C.     Bad play calling (Stunningly, can’t check this one off. Jason Garrett stuck to the running game even when he was down to his third and fourth string runningbacks)

D.     Dominate total yards and time of possession (Check. Dallas had the ball twice as long as the Ravens did, and out gained Baltimore 481-316)

E.      Jerry Jones ran onto the field and in a desperate attempt to relive his athletic days, played right guard on a crucial third down (Can’t check this one, but that would’ve been great if it did happen)

F.      Dez Bryant either doing something stupid or failing to make a play (Check. Dropping the two-point conversion pass that hit him right in the chest counts as failing to make a play)

G.     An injury to an important player (Check. DeMarco Murray sprained his foot after running all over the Ravens in the first half)

H.     Poor clock management (Check. After a gift pass interference call gave Dallas the ball at the Ravens 35, they completed a short pass, and then let 20 seconds run off the clock before using their last timeout. They didn’t run another play, which prevented them from getting any closer. Naturally, Dan Bailey missed a 52-yard field goal to end the game)

2. RGIII Goes Bonkers

            Griffin’s 76-yard touchdown run to seal the game was the most electrifying touchdown of the 2012 season so far. 

1. Russell Wilson Leads Stunning Comeback Victory Over New England

            I guess I have to stop saying that Russell Wilson sucks. At least for one week.

No Credentials Quick Takes, Volume I

            For those of you that missed the update in the season’s final weekend review, real-life has gotten in the way of No Credentials. Two weeks of training for a new job away from home will result in two things.

1. I’ll probably weigh 600 pounds on Father’s Day after all the take out I’ve been eating.
2. When I’m stationed at a hotel, I don’t have Internet access (a laptop hasn’t been fit into the No Credentials budget), so in the two or three days I’m spending away from home at a time, there will be no updates.

          Have no fear though. During each day off I have for the remainder of my training time, I will quickly hit the biggest sports stories of that timeframe. For marketing purposes, we’ll name them “No Credentials Quick Takes”.

On the Oklahoma City Thunder…

            Before the series, everyone thought San Antonio would overwhelm the Thunder with their depth. In game 6, San Antonio only played seven people. Sometimes, depth can be overrated. The Thunder clearly had the best two players in the series (Durant and Westbrook), and the fourth or fifth best player in James Harden. Oklahoma City will be the heavy favorite to win the NBA Finals, regardless of their opponent.

On the Celtics-Heat…

            I wish I could say I saw this coming, but I predicted Miami to win in 5 (oops!). Rajon Rondo has been the second best player in this series (behind Lebron James), which has tilted the balance in Boston’s favor. Even when his shot failed him in Game 5, he still was providing quality looks for his teammates. With Chris Bosh either out or playing minimal minutes, there has been little help for Lebron and Dwyane Wade. Those two combined for 57 points last night, but the lack of a quality supporting cast continues to bite them. Chris Bosh will have to play at a high level for Miami to have any chance of pushing this series to seven games.

On the Stanley Cup Finals…

            New Jersey’s game 4 victory is only delaying the inevitable. I said Kings in 6 (followers of this blog’s Facebook page can confirm that), and that prediction will be accurate.

On Kent Hrbek Going Off For 2 Dingers and 6 RBIs…

            All right this one happened in TECMO Super Baseball on my Super Nintendo, not real life, but regardless it was noteworthy. Hrbek had been struggling during the first 25 games of the season with his average below the Mendoza Line, but all it took was a date with Bill Wegman (who got rocked for 14 earned in 3 innings, ouch) to bust out of his slump. I’m going to end this paragraph before I officially lose touch with reality.

On Tiger Woods…

            The last time Tiger won a golf tournament it was shortly before The Masters. Everyone assumed that Tiger would be the favorite to win. He finished behind 39 other golfers in the final standings. His win at The Memorial comes two weeks before the U.S. Open, and now everyone wants to make him the favorite in that tournament. Everyone needs to take a cold shower before they assume Woods is going to win the U.S. Open by ten strokes.

On Kurt Busch Going Bonkers…

            I’ll say this for Kurt Busch…the dude doesn’t give a f*** for nothing. His line to a reporter after the Nationwide race in response to a question about his probation should go down as one of the greatest NASCAR interview moments of all time. I have a hard time believing this suspension will hurt his chances of landing a top ride next season (he’s too talented, and secondly, his status as a past champion would give a car owner the opportunity to expand to four teams and have the security of a past champion’s provisional), but landing sponsorship for him just became that much harder. I’d be willing to bet that he ends up at Joe Gibbs Racing with Monster Energy paying the bills.

On Dudes Getting High on Bath Salts and Then Eating Other Dudes Faces…

            A second case of this occurred in Louisiana, just a week or two after some guy ate 75% of a homeless mans face in Florida. Has this been happening for years, but the media is only covering it after the success of “The Walking Dead”? I’d like to formally request a nationwide ban on Bath Salts before my wife decides to fully zombie proof our apartment.

           

           

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (3/16-3/18)

10. QVC Has Annual St. Patrick’s Day Celebration
            For 23 years running now, the bastards at QVC have been fleecing elderly women out of their social security checks every St. Patrick’s Day, peddling gaudy jewelry and overpriced sweaters. Some Irish dude who always wears a ridiculous tie runs the whole operation. They even have Celtic Thunder in the house for “live music” (live is in quotes because their audio track skipped at about 11:20pm Saturday night and thousands of blue hairs across the nation found out that they’ve been lip synching all these years. Against all odds, that event was the highlight of my St. Patrick’s Day). The only disappointing part of QVC’s celebration this year? For the very first time, the event didn’t last 24 straight hours (Obama may or may not have stepped in behind closed doors to save the elderly from these crooks). I’m not sure why I shared this paragraph with you, but assuming the bulk of my audience doesn’t watch QVC, I’m happy to educate.

9. Andy Pettitte Signs 1-Year Deal With Yankees
            The skeptic in me is willing to bet that Pettitte was juicing for an entire year during his “retirement”, and wouldn’t be stunned at all if he comes back throwing 95 mph.

8. Georgetown Beats Belmont By 15

            I’d like to thank the dumbass at Sportsbook.com who only had Georgetown as 3.5-point favorites Friday. One of the better wins for No Credentials gambling account in a long time. 

7. Patriots Sign WR Brandon Lloyd

            Only having to pay $12 million over three years for a guy who led the league in receiving yards two years ago? Ridiculous.

6. Matt Flynn Signs With Seattle

            Most folks figured that Flynn would be left in limbo until Peyton Manning chose his new team, but kudos to him for inking a deal with the Seahawks. They were a competitive team last season with Tavaris the Virus at quarterback, so anything is an upgrade.

5. Brad Keselowski Wins Second Straight at Bristol

            Any fears of Keselowski’s championship hopes being dashed by his teams lame duck status with Dodge were put to rest by his dominant performance at Bristol.

4. The Farm is Lost on “The Walking Dead”

            Unfortunately, more of the living weren’t (I’m looking at you Sophia’s mom, T-Dog, ect.).

3. Norfolk State Defeats #2 Missouri 

2. Lehigh Defeats #2 Duke
            As bummed out as I was to lose one of my Final 4 teams in the first round (only the second time that has happened in my bracket career), I was elated to see Coach K and the Blue Devils sent home from the tournament.

1. Peyton Manning Joins the Broncos, Ends Tebowmania

            We cheated for this one (it happened Monday), but that’s allowed when such an epic transaction occurs. We’ll discuss more later this week, but I do want to ask one question...if Peyton Manning's neck breaks in the first quarter of week 1, will God be responsible?

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (3/9-3/11)

10. Jets Give Mark Sanchez $60 Million Extension
            When people are joking on Twitter that the news of a Sanchez extension was real and not a story on The Onion, you know it’s a tough time to be a Jets fan.

9. Vermont Catamounts Earn NCAA Tournament Berth

            Many moons ago, I was a student at UVM for about 5 and a half minutes, so way to go Catamounts!

8. Masked Mamba Leads Lakers Rally Past Celtics

            Even more impressive than Kobe’s ten points in the fourth quarter? His suggestion that the game clinching shot be taken by Andrew Bynum.

7. Florida St. Upsets North Carolina

6. Vanderbilt Upsets Kentucky
5. College Basketball Conference Tournaments Are Stupid
            North Carolina, Kentucky, and Syracuse all lost in their conference tournaments, and still earned number one seeds in the NCAA Tournament. I rest my case that conference tournaments are stupid.

4. Tony Stewart Beats Jimmie Johnson in Vegas

            Smoke usually doesn’t heat up until the summer. Might be time for folks to get worried about the defending champion.

3. Rick Kills Shane on “The Walking Dead”

            I guess when you have the chance to kill off your show’s most interesting character you have to do it.

2. Peyton Manning Visits Denver and Arizona

            Add getting Broncos fans so giddy about his potential arrival that they are willing to toss Tebow-mania to the wayside like an expired piece of chicken to the list of amazing accomplishments made by Peyton Manning.

1. Washington Redskins Mortgage Future For Robert Griffin III

            So let me get this straight…a terrible team with many holes surrenders this years second round pick, and two future first round picks, for the rights to a rookie quarterback who will probably struggle out of the box? Aren’t the odds in favor of Washington being among the ten worst teams in football next season? Even with as good as Cam Newton was last season, Carolina still ended up with the ninth pick in this years draft. St. Louis is making out like bandits in this trade. RG3 needs to be the second coming of Randall Cunningham (circa 1990) to justify the price Washington paid to acquire him.