2013 AFC East Preview

            Our third annual NFL division preview series begins with the division nearest and dearest to the hearts of the majority of my readers (all five of them).

4. New York Jets

 

2012 Record = 6-10, third in AFC East

2013 Schedule = Buccaneers, @ Patriots, Bills, @ Titans, @ Falcons, Steelers, Patriots, @ Bengals, Saints, BYE, @ Bills, @ Ravens, Dolphins, Raiders, @ Panthers, Browns, @ Dolphins

Franchise Players = LT D’Brickashaw Ferguson, C Nick Mangold, CB Antonio Cromartie

Supporting Cast = RB Chris Ivory, WR Santonio Holmes, DE Muhammad Wilkerson, MLB David Harris
Notable Rookies = CB Dee Milliner (Alabama, 1-9), DT Sheldon Richardson (Missouri, 1-13), QB Geno Smith (West Virginia, 2-39)

Offensive Outlook = Much like Kevin James, the Mark Sanchez-Rex Ryan duo has been around way too long. Fortunately for Jets fans, Geno Smith appears to have the inside track on the quarterback gig. I don’t expect either quarterback to set the world on fire, but at least Smith would offer a glimmer of hope for the future. Neither quarterback will have the benefit of an average receiving core, with only Stephen Hill offering the upside of a #1 receiver. Santonio Holmes is coming off major foot surgery, so to expect a return to peak performance from him is asking a lot. Chris Ivory has finally been released from the “five-back-pileup” system in New Orleans, and will get the chance to shoulder a full-time workload. The offensive line is still solid, so barring injury (which was a common occurrence during Ivory’s time with the Saints), we could be looking at 1,200 yards and eight to ten touchdowns.

Defensive Outlook = Typically, it’s not a good thing for a defense when they trade away the most dominant cornerback in the NFL, but the Jets did make the best long term decision when they shipped Darrelle Revis to Tampa Bay. It would make no sense to pay Revis big-time money on a rebuilding team, and their first two draft picks are fantastic building blocks. There’s enough defensive talent for New York to steal some ugly 14-10 type games.
        
Ceiling =  9-7 - This would take an epic debut season by Ivory, and a defensive effort reminiscent of the 2000 Baltimore Ravens. We’ll give this a 1% chance of happening.
Floor = 2-14 - You know who the quarterbacks are right? We'll give this a 30% chance of happening. 
Prediction = 5-11
            I like the moves they made to begin rejuvenating the defense, but it will be another year before they can blow up the offense.

3. Buffalo Bills

 

2012 Record = 6-10, fourth in AFC East

2013 Schedule = Patriots, Panthers, @ Jets, Ravens, @ Browns, Bengals, @ Dolphins, @ Saints, Chiefs, @ Steelers, Jets, BYE, Falcons, @ Buccaneers, @ Jaguars, Dolphins, @ Patriots

Franchise Players = RB C.J. Spiller, DE Mario Williams, DT Kyle Williams, DT Marcell Dareus, FS Jairus Byrd

Supporting Cast = WR Stevie Johnson, C Eric Wood, CB/KR Leodis McKelvin
Notable Rookies = QB E.J. Manuel (Florida State, 1-16), WR Robert Woods (USC, 2-41), MLB Kiko Alonso (Oregon, 2-46)

Offensive Outlook = After years of not fully understanding the talent they possessed, C.J. Spiller will finally get the keys to a full-time featured back role. He only needed 207 carries to crack the 1,200-yard barrier, so a workload closer to 300 should raise his production to an elite level. It’s concerning that standout guard Andy Levitre left for Tennessee, but Spiller has enough ability to overcome it. Stevie Johnson is a solid but unspectacular wide receiver whose production will be directly tied to his quarterback. Kevin Kolb isn’t the second coming of Jim Kelly (or for that matter, Doug Flutie), but the offense will function better with him under center than rookie E.J. Manuel. Ideally, Buffalo’s surprise first round pick spends a year watching from the sidelines, but if Kolb keeps tripping on rubber mats, Manuel will be forced to the field from the get go.

Defensive Outlook = For a unit that features four blue-chip players, this defense was dreadful last season. However, they only surrendered more than 24 points once during the final seven weeks of the season. A large part of that late season improvement can be attributed to Mario Williams, who played much better as a wrist injury healed during the season. Kyle Williams and Marcell Dareus form the most talented DT-duo in THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. The middle layer of the defense was a major weakness, as Buffalo’s linebackers were unable to take advantage of the defensive line’s efforts. If Kiko Alonso can keep his head on straight, he presents the Bills best chance to raise its defense to a top-12 level.

Ceiling = 11-5 – Double digit wins sounds like a stretch (mostly because it is), but when you look at the slate of road games, none of them jumps out as un-winnable (even their Week 17 game at New England. The Patriots could be resting for the playoffs at that point).

Floor = 2-14 – We’ll call this “the too much E.J. Manuel” scenario.
Prediction = 6-10
            Until Buffalo generates stable production from the quarterback position, I’m not endorsing them for a .500 season.

2. Miami Dolphins

 

2012 Record = 7-9, second in AFC East

2013 Schedule = @ Browns, @ Colts, Falcons, @ Saints, Ravens, Bills, @ Patriots, Bengals, BYE, @ Buccaneers, Chargers, Panthers, @ Jets, @ Steelers, Patriots, @ Bills, Jets

Franchise Players = WR Mike Wallace, C Mike Pouncey, DE Cameron Wake, DT Randy Starks

Supporting Cast = QB Ryan Tannehill, RB Lamar Miller, WR Brian Hartline, LG Richie Incognito, RT Tyson Clabo, DT Paul Soliai, MLB Dannell Ellerbe, CB Brent Grimes, SS Reshad Jones, KR Marcus Thigpen
Notable Rookies = OLB Dion Jordan (Oregon, 1-3), CB Jamar Taylor (Boise State, 2-54, RB Mike Gillislee (Florida, 5-164)

Offensive Outlook = It’s early in our preview series, but we will be hard pressed to find a team who’s fate is more tied to the production of one player than the Miami Dolphins. All of the pieces are here for Miami to leapfrog New England in the AFC East, but they need development from Ryan Tannehill in order to do it. He has an elite deep threat in the form of Mike Williams (who despite the fact that he’s grossly overpaid, he will still have to be accounted for by opposing defenses on every snap), a solid possession receiver with Brian Hartline, and a decent upgrade at tight end with Dustin Keller. Lamar Miller appears poised to seize the starting role, and could be in line for a breakout season. The loss of Jake Long is worrisome (it’s generally not a good thing to lose a franchise left tackle), but Miami patched the line effectively enough with the addition of former Falcon Tyson Clabo. If Tannehill produces at even just a Joe Flacco like level (regular season Flacco, not postseason), the Dolphins will make the playoffs.

Defensive Outlook = In today’s NFL, rushing the passer is key, and few clubs do it better than the Miami Dolphins. Cameron Wake generated a career high 15 sacks, and the addition of rookie Dion Jordan gives Miami the chance to have two elite edge rushers. Dannell Ellerbe is huge upgrade at middle linebacker, and he’ll provide a lift to a defense that didn’t always take advantage of the efforts of their defensive tackles. Brent Grimes isn’t the second coming of Rod Woodson (pre-safety years for you kids that don’t remember him on the Steelers), but assuming he’s healthy after early ACL surgery last year, he’s an upgrade. 

Ceiling = 13-3 – If this happens, Ryan Tannehill will be the most valuable waiver wire pickup in fantasy football.

Floor = 5-11 – If this happens, Miami will be looking for a new quarterback in 2014.
Prediction = 9-7
            The schedule breaks really well for the Dolphins (catching a down AFC North is the only reason I have Miami above .500), and assuming Tannehill isn’t abysmal, there’s enough talent on defense to carry Miami to wildcard contention.
 

1. New England Patriots

2012 Record = 12-4, first in AFC East, lost AFC Championship Game to Ravens

2013 Schedule = @ Bills, Jets, Buccaneers, @ Falcons, @ Bengals, Saints, @ Jets, Dolphins, Steelers, BYE, @ Panthers, Broncos, @ Texans, Browns, @ Dolphins, @ Ravens, Bills

Franchise Players = QB Tom Brady, TE Rob Gronkowski, LT Nate Solder, LG Logan Mankins, DT Vince Wilfork, MLB Jerod Mayo

Supporting Cast = RB Stevan Ridley, WR Danny Amendola, S Ryan Wendell, RT Sebastian Vollmer, DT Tommy Kelly, MLB Brandon Spikes, OLB Dont’a Hightower, CB Aqib Talib, FS Devin McCourty

Notable Rookies = OLB Jamie Collins (Southern Mississippi, 2-52), WR Aaron Dobson (Marshall, 2-59)

Offensive Outlook = When your offense is built around one tight end who is a likely PUP list member and another who’s in jail because he’s involved with multiple murders, that’s a problem. Fortunately for New England, the cupboard isn’t bare. They still have Tom Brady (and quite frankly, that’s all you need), and the best offensive line the Patriots have ever had in the Belichick era protects him. If Stevan Ridley can correct a recurring case of fumbleitis, he’ll have an outside shot at 1,600 yards. Shane Vereen is also a talented back who is an asset in the passing game. Receivers are where the question marks begin. Rob Gronkowski is the most dominant red zone target in the game, but how many games he suits up for is what will determine his impact. Ultimately, the Patriots should only need a healthy Gronkowski for the playoffs. Danny Amendola has all of the physical tools to fill Wes Welker’s role, but his total number of games missed isn’t inspiring either. Aaron Dobson is the biggest lottery ticket on the Patriots roster. If he can grasp the playbook, he’ll be the most dominant wide receiver in the AFC East.  

Defensive Outlook = It might not be as stout as the 2003 edition, but this year’s defense is the best one Belichick has had since there second Super Bowl winning year. They might have the deepest linebacking core in the AFC, and the edition of Tommy Kelly to play alongside Vince Wilfork will only their run defense. Aqib Talib stabilized the secondary immediately upon arriving in New England via a midseason trade, and one could safely bet on him being even better after a full Patriots training camp. New England is a dominant pass rusher away (I’m looking at you Chandler Jones) from fielding a top-5 defense.

Ceiling = 14-2 – This scenario will need a healthy Gronkowski, a rookie of the year campaign from Dobson, and a 12-sack season from Jones.

Floor = 8-8 – Only will occur if the offense can’t find its way and the Dolphins and Bills play to their potential.
Prediction = 11-5
            There’s been a ton of gloom and doom surrounding the Patriots (understandably so. Not even the mid-90s Dallas Cowboys ever dealt with a distraction like the Pats are faced with this off-season), but it’s important to take a step back and look at the larger landscape. As you probably could tell by looking at the other three teams in this preview, there’s a fair chance the Patriots will be the only good team in the division. As you will see in the next three AFC division previews, there’s a high probability that most of the conference stinks too. There’s only one team in the AFC I’d rate ahead of the Patriots. They might not be pretty at times (especially early in the season), but I expect New England to end up with a first round bye when it’s all said and done.


Click here to read about the AFC South
Click here to read about the NFC East
Click here to read about the NFC South

Waiting For the World to End, Volume 2: My Favorite Apocalypses

            In reverse order, I rank what my favorite ways of ending the world would be.

Nuclear Holocaust

            This would be the most embarrassing, as human hands would bring the end of the world.  

Errant Passes By New York Jets’ Quarterbacks

            Is it possible that we could get concussed to death? The plucky trio of Sanchez-Tebow-McElroy would be the ideal candidates to attempt it.

Alien Invasion

            A bunch of spaceships appearing in orbit would be fun for about two minutes, until they started frying us with advanced weaponry. For grins and giggles, here’s a list within the list showing what would be my favorite alien invaders.

5. Martians, “Mars Attacks!”

4.The Galactic Empire, “Star Wars”

3. The aliens from “Independence Day”

2. Xenomorph, “Alien” franchise

1. The Borg, “Star Trek” 

A Kanye-Kardashian Fetus

            Odds are high that this fetus would morph into a black hole, sucking all life into it.

Zombie Outbreak

            Enough people in this country play “Call of Duty”, so maybe we’ll have enough trained citizens to eventually survive a zombie apocalypse.

Justin Bieber/Taylor Swift Duet Album

            All of the anguish over botched relationships by these two dimwits would surely create enough bad vibes to shift a tectonic plate or two.

Sun Going Supernova, Vaporizing the Earth

            No one would survive, but it would be painless. At least, I think it would (nerds correct me if I’m wrong!).

Polar Shift Resulting in an Ice Age

            Couldn’t we all just wear a jacket?
 

If you missed Volume 1, click here.

2012 AFC East Preview

            Welcome to the AFC East, where even playing the AFC South and NFC West isn’t enough to save the Dolphins and Jets.
 

4. Miami Dolphins

 

2011 Record = 6-10, Third in AFC East

2012 Schedule = @ HOU, OAK, NYJ, @ ARI, @ CIN, STL, BYE, @ NYJ, @ IND, TEN, @ BUF, SEA, NE, @ SF, JAC, BUF, @ NE

Franchise Players = RB Reggie Bush, T Jake Long, C Mike Pouncey, LB Cameron Wake

Key Free Agent Acquisitions = LB E.J. Henderson, CB Richard Marshall, G Eric Steinbach
Potential Impact Rookies = QB Ryan Tannehill (Texas A&M) 1-8, T Jonathan Martin (Stanford) 2-10, Lamar Miller (Miami) 4-2

Outlook = Miami just traded their best corner to the Colts. Not quite as dramatic as the Red Sox shipping $253 million worth of salary to Los Angeles for the equivalent of a poop sandwich, but it’s the same idea. Their offensive line is good enough that they’ll steal a couple of wins just by running over people, but this team is going no where fast.

Ceiling = 6-10

Floor = 1-15
No Credentials Prediction = 3-13

3. New York Jets

 

2011 Record = 8-8, Second in AFC East

2012 Schedule = BUF, @ PIT, @ MIA, SF, HOU, IND, @ NE, MIA, BYE, @ SEA, @ STL, NE, ARI, @ JAC, @ TEN, SD, @ BUF

Franchise Players = TE Dustin Keller, T D’Brickashaw Ferguson, C Nick Mangold, LB Bart Scott, CB Darrelle Revis, CB Antonio Cromartie

Key Free Agent Acquisitions = God, QB Tim Tebow, S LaRon Landry
Potential Impact Rookies = DE Quinton Coples (North Carolina) 1-16, Stephen Hill (Georgia Tech) 2-11

Outlook = New York has a great defense (on paper anyway), and they are built to primarily run the football. In other words, they’d be great if the year was 1964. Unfortunately, they are not constructed to succeed in the new pass-happy NFL. Mark Sanchez hasn’t developed much since a solid rookie campaign in 2009, so expecting a leap from him is foolish. Throw in the possibility of the home crowd chanting for Tebow after every incompletion, and this makes for a miserable season for Sanchez and the Jets. Expect it to be the last year we see Rex Ryan roaming the Jets’ sideline.

Ceiling = 12-4

Floor = 4-12
No Credentials Prediction = 6-10
 

2. Buffalo Bills

 

2011 Record = 6-10, Last in AFC East

2012 Schedule = @ NYJ, KC, @ CLE, NE, @ SF, @ ARI, TEN, BYE, @ HOU, @ NE, MIA, @ IND, JAC, STL, SEA, @ MIA, NYJ

Franchise Players = QB Ryan Fitzpatrick, RB Fred Jackson, WR Stevie Johnson, G Andy Levitre, DT Marcell Dareus, DT Kyle Williams, CB Leodis McKelvin

Key Free Agent Acquisitions = DE Mario Williams, DE Mark Anderson
Potential Impact Rookies = CB Stephon Gilmore (South Carolina) 1-10, T Cordy Glenn (Georgia) 2-9

Outlook = It’s not very often that the largest free agent contract handed out comes from the Buffalo Bills, but that’s what happened this off-season whey they inked Mario Williams to a $100 million deal. Buffalo has the scariest defensive line in the AFC East, which is a good thing when you have two dates with Tom Brady every year. There’s a little too much Ryan Fitzpatrick involved to make me believe that this is a Super Bowl contender, but this should be the season that the Bills finally return to the playoffs.

Ceiling = 12-4

Floor = 6-10
No Credentials Prediction = 10-6
 

1. New England Patriots

 

2011 Record = 13-3, First in AFC East, Lost Super Bowl

2012 Schedule = @ TEN, ARI, @ BAL, @ BUF, DEN, @ SEA, NYJ, @ STL, BYE, BUF, IND, @ NYJ, @ MIA, HOU, SF, @ JAC, MIA

Franchise Players = QB Tom Brady, WR Wes Welker, TE Rob Gronkowski, TE Aaron Hernandez, G Logan Mankins, DT Vince Wilfork, LB Jerod Mayo, LB Brandon Spikes, CB Devin McCourty, S Patrick Chung, K Stephen Gostkowski

Key Free Agent Acquisitions = RB Joseph Addai, WR Brandon Lloyd, G Robert Gallery, CB Will Allen
Potential Impact Rookies = DE Chandler Jones (Syracuse) 1-21, LB Dont’a Hightower (Alabama) 1-25, RB Jeff Demps (Florida) Undrafted

Outlook = To illustrate just how weak the Patriots schedule is this season, I’m going to list the likely quarterbacks they will face in each of their games.

Week 1 = Jake Locker (I like Locker, but it will be his first NFL start)

Week 2 = Kevin Kolb or John Skelton (aka “the crappy quarterback” or “the other crappy quarterback”)
Week 3 = Joe Flacco
Week 4 = Ryan Fitzpatrick
Week 5 = Peyton Manning (five years ago this would be scary, but at 85% arm strength, not so much anymore)
Week 6 = Russell Wilson or Matt Flynn (Wilson might’ve gotten squashed by a defensive tackle by this point)
Week 7 = Mark Sanchez or Tim Tebow
Week 8 = Sam Bradford
Week 10 = Fitzpatrick
Week 11 = Andrew Luck (this will be scary in two or three years, but he’s still a rookie)
Week 12 = Tebow (Sanchez might make it to Week 7, but not Week 12)
Week 13 = Ryan Tannehill or Matt Moore
Week 14 = T.J. Yates, or T.J. Hooker, or whoever the Texans backup is (Schaub will be hurt by Week 14)
Week 15 = Alex Smith
Week 16 = Blaine Gabbert or Chad Henne (it sucks to cheer for the Jaguars)
Week 17 = Tannehill or Moore

            Isn’t 85% Peyton Manning still the best quarterback on this list? It’s ridiculous. As soon as I phone this column in I’m placing a hefty wager on the over for New England’s season win total.

Ceiling = 16-0

Floor = 10-6
No Credentials Prediction = 15-1

Click here to read about the AFC North

Click here to read about the AFC South
Click here to read about the AFC West
Click here to read about the NFC East
Click here to read about the NFC North
Click here to read about the NFC South
Click here to read about the NFC West

 

 

NFL Off-Season Notes

Folks Associated With the Saints Bounty Hunting Scandal Deserved Every Bit of Punishment From Roger Goodell

            It’s one thing for players to have private bounties amongst themselves, but it’s taken to a whole other level when the defensive coordinator is doling out the payments. Sean Payton and Mickey Loomis might be among the top 5 performers at their jobs in the league, but shame on them for letting Gregg Williams get away with bounties on their watch.

With Peyton Manning in the Fold (and healthy), Denver is the Clear Favorite in the AFC West

            The Broncos won the division with a dude that couldn’t even throw a five-yard out. San Diego lost Vincent Jackson, and it’s defense is a shadow of it’s former self. Kansas City has some interesting parts, but not enough reliability other than Dwayne Bowe. Finally, the Raiders are the Raiders. Put this team down for at least 10 wins, with the possibility of 12.

Tebowmania Will Destroy Mark Sanchez

            How many incompletions will it take in a home game against the Bills for the Jets fans to start chanting “TEBOW! TEBOW! TEBOW!”? Five? Three? In a vacuum I understand the logic of wanting to bring Tebow to New York (offensive coordinator Tony Sparano is the godfather of the Wildcat offense), but can’t believe that the Jets didn’t consider the potential effects of bringing in Tebow on a guy that they just extended for three more seasons.

Matt Forte Can Bitch About His Contract Situation All He Wants…the Bears are in the Right

            Minnesota paid Adrian Peterson $100 million over seven years last September. He shredded his knee into 6,000 pieces last December. Runningback is the most disposable position in the NFL. They are a dime a dozen. Chicago would be foolish to offer Forte big money, especially after inking Michael Bush to a very economical four-year deal.

I’m All in on Bill Parcells Running New Orleans For One Season

            The Big Tuna has never liked to stay in one place too long anyway. What a better situation for him than to roam the Saints sidelines and insult reporters for just one season?

Who is Leading the Off-Season Super Bowl so Far?

            Many folks wrote off their additions as reckless spending, but if you look deeper, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have clearly improved their situation more than anyone else. This is a squad that is just two seasons removed from a 10-6 campaign, and Scouts Inc. still rates their under 25 year old talent as the best in the league. Carl Nicks will stabilize the offensive line, and Vincent Jackson will open up the field for the entire offense. Throw in all of the problems in New Orleans, the Falcons staying above average, and the Panthers still in need of a defensive overhaul, and the NFC South looks open for Tampa Bay to take.

I Can’t Wait For the Dallas Cowboys to Start 0-1

            Dallas has drawn the dreaded assignment of being the road team in the season’s opening game at New York. For those that don’t pay attention, the NFL’s opening night is essentially a homecoming game for the defending Super Bowl champion. Here are the results of these homecoming games, with the defending Super Bowl champion listed in caps.

2004: Patriots 27, Colts 24

2005: Patriots 30, Raiders 20
2006: Steelers 28, Dolphins 17
2007: Colts 41, Saints 10
2008: Giants 16, Redskins 7
2009: Steelers 13, Titans 10 (OT)
2010: Saints 14, Vikings 9
2011: Packers 42, Saints 34

            Notice a trend? Throw in Dallas’ history of primetime gaffes on NBC, and this has all the makings for a complete train wreck. Can’t wait!

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (3/9-3/11)

10. Jets Give Mark Sanchez $60 Million Extension
            When people are joking on Twitter that the news of a Sanchez extension was real and not a story on The Onion, you know it’s a tough time to be a Jets fan.

9. Vermont Catamounts Earn NCAA Tournament Berth

            Many moons ago, I was a student at UVM for about 5 and a half minutes, so way to go Catamounts!

8. Masked Mamba Leads Lakers Rally Past Celtics

            Even more impressive than Kobe’s ten points in the fourth quarter? His suggestion that the game clinching shot be taken by Andrew Bynum.

7. Florida St. Upsets North Carolina

6. Vanderbilt Upsets Kentucky
5. College Basketball Conference Tournaments Are Stupid
            North Carolina, Kentucky, and Syracuse all lost in their conference tournaments, and still earned number one seeds in the NCAA Tournament. I rest my case that conference tournaments are stupid.

4. Tony Stewart Beats Jimmie Johnson in Vegas

            Smoke usually doesn’t heat up until the summer. Might be time for folks to get worried about the defending champion.

3. Rick Kills Shane on “The Walking Dead”

            I guess when you have the chance to kill off your show’s most interesting character you have to do it.

2. Peyton Manning Visits Denver and Arizona

            Add getting Broncos fans so giddy about his potential arrival that they are willing to toss Tebow-mania to the wayside like an expired piece of chicken to the list of amazing accomplishments made by Peyton Manning.

1. Washington Redskins Mortgage Future For Robert Griffin III

            So let me get this straight…a terrible team with many holes surrenders this years second round pick, and two future first round picks, for the rights to a rookie quarterback who will probably struggle out of the box? Aren’t the odds in favor of Washington being among the ten worst teams in football next season? Even with as good as Cam Newton was last season, Carolina still ended up with the ninth pick in this years draft. St. Louis is making out like bandits in this trade. RG3 needs to be the second coming of Randall Cunningham (circa 1990) to justify the price Washington paid to acquire him.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (9/30-10/2)

10. Terry Francona and Red Sox Part Ways
            Every epic collapse has to have a scapegoat. In this case, it was Francona, who will forever be known as the manager of the team that broke The Curse of the Bambino. He probably lasted about a year or two longer than he should, but Tito should be remembered fondly in Boston. I wish him well.

9. Rangers and Rays Split Games in Arlington

            A rematch of last years ALCS, look for Tampa Bay’s pitching depth to overwhelm Texas by the end of the series.

8. Tigers Steal Game in New York, Even Series

            About the only thing Red Sox fans have left to as far as baseball is concerned is cheer against the Yankees. Hopefully Justin Verlander can take of business in Game 3 after Miguel Cabrera gave them a lift in Game 2.

7. Kurt Busch Conquers Monster Mile

            Even more noteworthy than Busch winning is Jimmie Johnson creeping back into championship contention. He’s only 13 points and a missed crash at Talladega away from taking his sixth straight title.

6. Wisconsin Destroys Nebraska in Cornhuskers Big 10 Debut

            I hope this happens to every school that leaves a conference for more dollars in their first game.

5. Brewers Take Two at Home

            If I still liked baseball, I’d jump onto the Brewers bandwagon. For starters, their team name has a whole lot to do with beer, which is awesome. Secondly, when the average shirt size of the fan base is 4XL, you know there is a hearty bunch of folks supporting this team. I’m as all-in as a non-baseball fan can be on the Milwaukee Brewers after they smoked Arizona in Game 2.

4. Cowboys Blow 27-3 Lead, Lose to Lions

            I say that whenever a quarterback has a game that they throw for over 300 hundred yards, three touchdowns, and three interceptions, that it is referred to as “A Romo”.

3. Eagles Suffer Embarrassing Collapse at Home Against 49ers

            Did Philadelphia sign Lebron James as a third-string tight end and not tell anyone? Or did they not assemble enough quality linemen on both sides of the ball? The second question is the reason for Philadelphia’s struggles, but it would be fun to blame their 1-3 record on Lebron.

2. Arian Foster Goes Bonkers, Carries Texans Over Steelers

            Evidently during the lockout, the Steelers forgot how to tackle. Impressive win by Houston, who cruised even without star receiver Andre Johnson.

1. Ravens Dominate Jets Offense in a Rout

            If Tony Romo had a bad game Sunday, does that mean Mark Sanchez had a putrid one?

2011 AFC East Preview

4. Miami Dolphins

2010 Record = 7-9 (3^rd in Division)

Key Additions = RB Reggie Bush, LB Kevin Burnett, LB Jason Taylor
Key Losses = RB Ronnie Brown, RB Ricky Williams

Schedule = Patriots, Texans, @ Browns, @ Chargers, BYE, @ Jets, Broncos, @ Giants, @ Chiefs, Redskins, Bills, @ Cowboys, Raiders, Eagles, @ Bills, @ Patriots, Jets

Real-Life Outlook = Miami’s defense is one of the most underrated units in the league (throw out two lopsided games against New England, and you have a defense that only gave up more than 18 points once), but offensive ineptitude rules the day. There’s about a 15% chance Chad Henne figures it all out and becomes a reliable NFL starter. He’s going to need to be, as the Dolphins runningback situation is the sketchiest in the league. Reggie Bush will look great in spurts, but is not effective enough between the tackles to be a reliable every-down back. Second round draft pick Daniel Thomas was a popular fantasy sleeper, but has done nothing to generate optimism during the pre-season. Expect the futility of the Dolphins’ backfield to undermine the efforts of the defense and top flight wide receiver Brandon Marshall.

Ceiling = 8-8

Floor = 3-13
No Credentials Prediction = 5-11

3. Buffalo Bills

2010 Record = 4-12 (4^th in Division)

Key Additions = LB Nick Barnett, LB Kirk Morrison
Key Losses = LB Paul Posluszny, S Donte Whitner, LB Aaron Maybin

Schedule = @ Chiefs, Raiders, Patriots, @ Bengals, Eagles, @ Giants, BYE, Redskins, Jets, @ Cowboys, @ Dolphins, @ Jets, Titans, @ Chargers, Dolphins, Broncos, @ Patriots

Real-Life Outlook = One of the friskiest 4-12 teams in NFL history, the 2010 Bills were a treat to watch. Expect more of the same this season, as Ryan Fitzpatrick will be the starter from week 1 (fantasy folks, you could do much worse if you are in need of a bye-week fill-in than Fitzpatrick, depending on the match-up). Stevie Johnson could be in for the best season from a Bills wide out since Eric Moulds in 2002. Buffalo will be behind plenty again (in case you were wondering, the defense is still horrendous), so expect plenty of balls to be flying Johnson’s way.   

Ceiling = 8-8

Floor = 2-14
No Credentials Prediction = 6-10

2. New York Jets

2010 Record = 11-5 (2^nd in Division, Lost AFC Championship Game @ Steelers)

Key Additions = WR Plaxico Burress, LB Aaron Maybin
Key Losses = WR Braylon Edwards, DE Shaun Ellis, DT Kris Jenkins, LB Jason Taylor

Schedule = Cowboys, Jaguars, @ Raiders, @ Ravens, @ Patriots, Dolphins, Chargers, BYE, @ Bills, Patriots, @ Broncos, Bills, @ Redskins, Chiefs, @ Eagles, Giants, @ Dolphins

Real-Life Outlook = So let me get this straight. A team that starts a quarterback that is barely able to complete half of his passes, that downgraded at wide receiver (believe it or not, Braylon Edwards is better than Plaxico), and lost three solid defensive starters is supposed to be a Super Bowl favorite? Unless Mark Sanchez turns into the 1998 version of Vinny Testaverde, this team is destined for another uneven 10-6 season (which most fan bases wouldn’t complain about, but obnoxious Jets fans won’t be satisfied).

Ceiling = 13-3

Floor = 8-8
No Credentials Prediction = 10-6

1. New England Patriots

2010 Record = 14-2 (1^st in Division, Lost Divisional Round Game vs. Jets)

Key Additions = G Brian Waters, WR Chad Ochocinco, DT Albert Haynesworth, DE Shaun Ellis
Key Losses = DE Ty Warren, S Brandon Meriweather

Schedule = @ Dolphins, Chargers, @ Bills, @ Raiders, Jets, Cowboys, BYE, @ Steelers, Giants, @ Jets, Chiefs, @ Eagles, Colts, @ Redskins, @ Broncos, Dolphins, Bills

Real-Life Outlook = Only surpassed by Philadelphia in terms of the most high profile off season moves, New England appears poised to win another AFC East title. Signing perennial Pro Bowler Brian Waters will do wonders for the offensive line (expect a big season from Ben-Jarvis Green-Ellis, aka “The Firm”), and the Patriots young defense can only get better. Barring injury, New England will win the division.

Ceiling = 13-3
Floor = 9-7
No Credentials Prediction = 12-4