10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (2/1-2/3)

10. California Institute of Technology Snaps 228-Game Baseball Losing Streak
            It had been nearly a decade since the nerds from Pasadena had won a game.

9. Antonio Silva Destroys Alistair Overeem

            It’s not often an under-card UFC fight makes the Top 10, but Silva locked up an appearance by screaming in Overeem’s face after he knocked him unconscious.

8. #3 Indiana Knocks Off #1 Michigan

            I dog on college basketball a lot, but it’s pretty cool that these teams played a game that actually mattered.

7. The GoDaddy.com Commerical

            I have a two word description for this one…awesomely gross. Based on published reports, the general population doesn’t agree.

 

6. Adrian Peterson Named 2012 NFL MVP

            In the rarest of occurrences, the NFL nailed every single major award winner on Saturday night.

5. Jonathan Ogden
4. Warren Sapp
3. Larry Allen
2. Cris Carter Make the Pro Football Hall of Fame
            This year’s class makes No Credentials feel super old, as all four of these players were guys that I used to put on my stacked Madden teams in the late ‘90s. Also props to Bill Parcells, whose memorable accomplishment will be what I appreciate him the most for. During his final head coaching stint, here is the list of players that he either drafted or picked up as undrafted rookies during his four years with the Cowboys.

DeMarcus Ware

Jason Witten
Tony Romo (undrafted free agent)
Miles Austin (ditto)
Jay Ratliff (a 7^th round draft pick)
Marion Barber (THE BARBARIAN)
Terrance Newman (sucked ass towards the end, but was a solid corner for years)
Chris Canty (didn’t blossom in Dallas, but was a valuable part of last year’s Super Bowl winning Giants)

1. In Spite Of Power Outage, Baltimore Ravens Win Super Bowl XLVII

            What looked like a runaway turned into a near epic collapse thanks to a 35-minute power outage that drained all of the Ravens momentum (I guess that’ll happen when your offense isn’t on the field for an hour and twenty minutes). Baltimore was the beneficiary of some poor play calling (running two fades when they needed a 2-point conversion and a score on fourth down doesn’t make any sense) and some refs swallowing the whistle (in defense of the zebras, you don’t call pass interference and give San Francisco a fresh set of downs on the 1-yard line. There was contact by both Michael Crabtree and the Ravens corner). All in all, this will go down as one the most memorable (and definitely most bizarre) Super Bowls of the last decade.

NFL Off-Season Notes

Folks Associated With the Saints Bounty Hunting Scandal Deserved Every Bit of Punishment From Roger Goodell

            It’s one thing for players to have private bounties amongst themselves, but it’s taken to a whole other level when the defensive coordinator is doling out the payments. Sean Payton and Mickey Loomis might be among the top 5 performers at their jobs in the league, but shame on them for letting Gregg Williams get away with bounties on their watch.

With Peyton Manning in the Fold (and healthy), Denver is the Clear Favorite in the AFC West

            The Broncos won the division with a dude that couldn’t even throw a five-yard out. San Diego lost Vincent Jackson, and it’s defense is a shadow of it’s former self. Kansas City has some interesting parts, but not enough reliability other than Dwayne Bowe. Finally, the Raiders are the Raiders. Put this team down for at least 10 wins, with the possibility of 12.

Tebowmania Will Destroy Mark Sanchez

            How many incompletions will it take in a home game against the Bills for the Jets fans to start chanting “TEBOW! TEBOW! TEBOW!”? Five? Three? In a vacuum I understand the logic of wanting to bring Tebow to New York (offensive coordinator Tony Sparano is the godfather of the Wildcat offense), but can’t believe that the Jets didn’t consider the potential effects of bringing in Tebow on a guy that they just extended for three more seasons.

Matt Forte Can Bitch About His Contract Situation All He Wants…the Bears are in the Right

            Minnesota paid Adrian Peterson $100 million over seven years last September. He shredded his knee into 6,000 pieces last December. Runningback is the most disposable position in the NFL. They are a dime a dozen. Chicago would be foolish to offer Forte big money, especially after inking Michael Bush to a very economical four-year deal.

I’m All in on Bill Parcells Running New Orleans For One Season

            The Big Tuna has never liked to stay in one place too long anyway. What a better situation for him than to roam the Saints sidelines and insult reporters for just one season?

Who is Leading the Off-Season Super Bowl so Far?

            Many folks wrote off their additions as reckless spending, but if you look deeper, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have clearly improved their situation more than anyone else. This is a squad that is just two seasons removed from a 10-6 campaign, and Scouts Inc. still rates their under 25 year old talent as the best in the league. Carl Nicks will stabilize the offensive line, and Vincent Jackson will open up the field for the entire offense. Throw in all of the problems in New Orleans, the Falcons staying above average, and the Panthers still in need of a defensive overhaul, and the NFC South looks open for Tampa Bay to take.

I Can’t Wait For the Dallas Cowboys to Start 0-1

            Dallas has drawn the dreaded assignment of being the road team in the season’s opening game at New York. For those that don’t pay attention, the NFL’s opening night is essentially a homecoming game for the defending Super Bowl champion. Here are the results of these homecoming games, with the defending Super Bowl champion listed in caps.

2004: Patriots 27, Colts 24

2005: Patriots 30, Raiders 20
2006: Steelers 28, Dolphins 17
2007: Colts 41, Saints 10
2008: Giants 16, Redskins 7
2009: Steelers 13, Titans 10 (OT)
2010: Saints 14, Vikings 9
2011: Packers 42, Saints 34

            Notice a trend? Throw in Dallas’ history of primetime gaffes on NBC, and this has all the makings for a complete train wreck. Can’t wait!

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (3/23-3/25)

Programming Note: I spent about 15 hours drafting fantasy baseball teams last night, then worked all day, and then played basketball (Camsanity struck again), so we're experimenting with a new format this week that involves me being extra lazy (something I'm a veteran at). Here we go.

10. Just incase you forgot, Pat Robertson is still a dumbass.  

9. The Big Tuna to the Saints? Ya buddy!

8. Texas Rangers figure Game 6 collapse was not enough, attempt to put fans into cardiac arrest with a nuclear hot dog.

7. Rain doesn’t piss on Smoke’s fire.

6. Knicks crush Pistons, No Credentials advances in Sportsbook’s $20,000 survivor pool (I’m not even going to link to that, because only myself and 426 other gambling degenerates gave a damn about this game).

5. Ohio, not Ohio St., almost beat North Carolina.

4. The Heat make a stand (off the court).

3. Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh Penguins continue to go bonkers.

2. Inspired by Rick Pitino’s infamous encounter at a diner, Louisville scores very, very quickly to come from behind.

1. Tiger Tiger Woods Y’all!