Showing posts with label New England Patriots. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New England Patriots. Show all posts

Saturday, January 16, 2016

2016 NFL Divisional Round Saturday Picks


Chiefs (+5) over PATRIOTS

            This pick isn’t saying the Chiefs are going to win, but I don’t see the Patriots blowing Kansas City out. If you’d like an easy way to pay the mortgage on your home, bet your life savings on the under (43 points).

CARDINALS (-7.5) over Packers

            Aaron Rodgers looked like the best quarterback in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE last week against a team that was only in the playoffs because Tony Romo broke his collarbone twice. Things won’t look so rosy against a pissed off Cardinals team that got shellacked at home by Seattle the last time they took the field.

Last Week = 3-1

Sunday, October 25, 2015

2015 Week 7 NFL Picks

Bills (-4.5) over Jaguars
RAMS (-6.5) over Browns
Steelers (+3) over CHIEFS
DOLPHINS (-5) over Texans
Jets (+8) over PATRIOTS
Vikings (-1.5) over LIONS
TITANS (+6.5) over Falcons
Buccaneers (+3.5) over WASHINGTON
COLTS (-5) over Saints
CHARGERS (-4) over Raiders
GIANTS (-3) over Cowboys
PANTHERS (-3.5) over Eagles
CARDINALS (-9) over Ravens

Sunday, October 18, 2015

2015 Week 6 NFL Picks


BROWNS (+4.5) over Broncos

            Cleveland’s defense is good enough to keep this a low scoring affair.

Bengals (-3) over BILLS

            In E.J. Manuel we do not trust.

VIKINGS (-4) over Chiefs

            This is a pivotal game if Minnesota intends to secure a wildcard spot in the NFC.

JAGUARS (-2) over Texans

            No J.J. Watt spells trouble against the surprisingly spunky Jaguars passing attack.

LIONS (-3.5) over Bears

            It’s hard to back Detroit after their stink bomb they laid last Sunday, but one needs to remember that was only six days after they should’ve had first and goal on the one-yard line at Seattle.

Washington (+7) over JETS

            This pick is based solely on our belief that the NFC is the superior conference.

Cardinals (-4.5) over STEELERS

            The funkiest game on the Week 6 slate.

Dolphins (+2) over TITANS

            We like the upgrade from Joe Philbin to literally any other human being on planet Earth.

Panthers (+7) over SEAHAWKS

            Both clubs may have trouble combining to score seven points.

PACKERS (-10.5) over Chargers

            Scoring won’t be an issue here, but we like Green Bay in a rout after San Diego gave a win away against a washed up Michael Vick.

Ravens (-2) over 49ERS

            I honestly have no idea how to pick this game. Normally we say take the points, but our picks have been so awful the past couple of weeks we’re veering the other way.

Patriots (-10) over COLTS

            REVENGE!

EAGLES (-4.5) over Giants

            Another case of us veering against our default choice of taking the points.

 

Week 5 = 7-6-1

Thursday =0-1
Season = 36-39-3

Spread Picks By Team


Packers = 5-0
Vikings = 4-0
Patriots = 3-0-1
Lions = 4-1
Titans = 3-1
Seahawks = 3-1-1
Washington = 3-2
Rams = 3-2
49ers = 3-2
Chiefs = 3-2
Colts = 3-2
Jaguars = 3-2
Broncos = 3-2
Falcons = 3-3
Texans = 2-2
Browns = 2-3
Eagles = 2-3
Giants = 2-3
Bears = 2-3
Chargers = 2-3
Bills = 2-3
Cowboys = 2-3
Steelers = 1-2-2
Bengals = 1-3-1
Dolphins = 1-3
Jets = 1-3
Raiders = 1-4
Buccaneers = 1-4
Cardinals = 1-4
Ravens = 0-4-1
Panthers = 0-4
Saints = 0-6

Sunday, October 11, 2015

2015 Week 5 NFL Picks


            Didn’t have time to type up a full write-up, so here are some quick picks. We’ll be back next week with a more detailed explanation of our mediocre predictions.

BUCCANEERS (-2) over Jaguars
Bills (-1) over TITANS
RAVENS (-6.5) over Browns
FALCONS (-7) over Washington
CHIEFS (-9) over Bears
Saints (+6) over EAGLES
Rams (+9) over PACKERS
Seahawks (+3) over BENGALS
Cardinals (-3.5) over LIONS
Patriots (-9.5) over COWBOYS
Broncos (-4.5) over RAIDERS
GIANTS (-7) over 49ers
CHARGERS (-3.5) over Steelers

Saturday, September 19, 2015

2015 NFL Week 2 Picks


Texans (+3) over PANTHERS


            In what will amount to a reenactment of football in the 1930s, we’ll take the points.



SAINTS (-10) over Buccaneers

            We don’t feel warm and fuzzy about backing the Saints as double-digit favorites, but it would be even scarier to back the Bucs under any circumstances after last week’s debacle.



STEELERS (-7) over 49ers

            At first glance, this line is too high, but you have to dig deeper to make peace with it. Pittsburgh will have had 10 days off and gets to play at home. San Francisco played in a game that started at 10:15 eastern time Monday night, and then has to travel cross-country to play at 1pm (10am Pacific, for those of you not paying attention) Sunday.



VIKINGS (-2) over Lions


            Minnesota will reestablish themselves as wildcard contenders in their home opener.



Patriots (-1) over BILLS

            Buffalo will dominate for three quarters before finding a way to blow it and lose by 3.



BEARS (+2) over Cardinals

            We predicted the Cardinals would go 6-10. No Credentials will bank on that prediction for one more week and take the points.



BROWNS (+2) over Titans

            Two words…Johnny Fucking Football. Also, people are overreacting after Tennessee’s win over Tampa Bay.



Chargers (+3.5) over BENGALS


            I don’t know if San Diego wins, but the extra half point on this line is disrespectful to Philip Rivers.



REDSKINS (+3.5) over Rams

            St. Louis has a history of playing down to it’s competition, and Washington wasn’t horrendous in Week 1.



Falcons (+2) over GIANTS

            So a week after an epic choke job (even Tony Romo said, “Man the Giants fucked up the end of that game”), New York is favored against a decent Falcons squad?



Ravens (-7) over RAIDERS

            In McGloin we do not trust.



Dolphins (-6) over JAGUARS

            Miami took care of business on the road last week against an inferior opponent, and we think they do it again in Jacksonville.



Cowboys (+5.5) over EAGLES

            If Romo pulls this one out, we can start up some MVP chatter.



PACKERS (-3.5) over Seahawks

            On one hand, this line should be PACKERS (-3). On the other, I think Green Bay wins. So…ya.



COLTS (-7) over Jets

            Indy got kicked in the teeth last week, but they will bounce back at home.

Week 1 = 8-7-1


Thursday = 0-1 (second straight bullshit cover on Thursday Night Football)



Spread Picks By Team




            In a new weekly installment, each week I’ll update my record of picking games for each team. For example, I picked the Colts to cover in Buffalo. They got annihilated, so I lost. Conversely, I picked the Seahawks to lose at St. Louis. That did happen, so my pick is a win. You get the idea.



Dolphins = 1-0

Jets = 1-0

Browns = 1-0

Texans = 1-0

Chargers = 1-0

Eagles = 1-0

Redskins = 1-0

Packers = 1-0

Vikings = 1-0

Lions = 1-0

Bears = 1-0

Falcons = 1-0

Seahawks = 1-0

Rams = 1-0

49ers = 1-0

Chiefs = 1-1

Patriots = 0-0-1

Steelers = 0-0-1

Bills = 0-1

Ravens = 0-1

Bengals = 0-1

Colts = 0-1

Jaguars = 0-1

Titans = 0-1

Raiders = 0-1

Cowboys = 0-1

Giants = 0-1

Saints = 0-1

Buccaneers = 0-1

Panthers = 0-1

Cardinals = 0-1
Broncos = 0-2

Thursday, September 10, 2015

NFL Division and Playoff Picks


            You don’t even have to bother watching any NFL games this year, because No Credentials is here today to tell you how every team will do this season.

 

NFC EAST


Cowboys 12-4
Eagles 10-6
Giants 7-9
Washington 5-11

            The Eagles will look like world-destroyers some weeks, but ultimately Sam Bradford’s health will prevent them from winning the division. We love the Giants offense this year, but even when a nine fingered Jason Pierre-Paul returns, it won’t be enough to lift their putrid defense. Behind the best offensive line in football, the Cowboys will control the NFC East.

NFC North


Packers 13-3
Vikings 9-7
Bears 6-10
Lions 5-11

            Aaron Rodgers is our pick to win NFL MVP, as we’re going to really see how good he is without Jordy Nelson on the field. Minnesota has talent up and down the roster, and should be good enough to sneak into the playoffs. Chicago is a car-fire, and we expect Jim Caldwell to be the parachute that pulls the Lions down into the abyss.

NFC South


Falcons 10-6
Saints 7-9
Buccaneers 7-9
Panthers 6-10

            All of these teams are still mediocre, but Atlanta did the most during the off-season to make us believe they can right the ship.

NFC West


Seahawks 12-4
Rams 9-7
49ers 6-10
Cardinals 4-12

            The NFC West has been the class of the divisions for the past four years, but their grip on that title is slipping. San Francisco had one of the worst off-seasons in the history of THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, and Arizona screams regression. Those two squads growing weaker will lift the Rams over .500, but we have them narrowly missing the playoffs. Seattle has lost a ton of depth from its Super Bowl winning squad two years ago, but they are still the class of the field.

AFC East


Patriots 11-5
Dolphins 10-6
Bills 7-9
Jets 6-10

            For the first time in several years during the Brady era (we won’t count 2008), the Patriots should actually get pushed for the division title. We still expect them to win it, but Miami will be hot on their heels. Buffalo and New York won’t be walks in the park, but their lousy quarterback production (sorry Tyrod) will doom them.

AFC North


Ravens 12-4
Steelers 10-6
Bengals 6-10
Browns 4-12

            Baltimore has done a nice job reloading since the bulk of their Super Bowl winning roster left, and we forecast them rejoining the AFC elite. No Credentials doesn’t know how we found 10 wins for Pittsburgh, but their offense will be elite when Le’Veon Bell returns. This feels like the year that Andy Dalton implodes in regular season games, so at least he won’t get to choke in Round 1. Cleveland…well they are the Browns.

AFC South


Colts 12-4
Texans 9-7
Jaguars 5-11
Titans 4-12

            Indy still has a stranglehold on the South, as Houston did not properly address their quarterback situation (sorry Brian Hoyer). Jacksonville won’t be all that good, but at least they have hope for the future.

AFC West


Broncos 11-5
Chiefs 9-7
Chargers 6-10
Raiders 6-10

            2015 will probably go down as Peyton Manning’s last stand, and his noodle arm should be good enough to give Denver another division title. On paper Kansas City is the most dangerous threat, but Alex Smith’s limitations will keep them out of the playoff picture. San Diego is due for a drop in production, while Oakland will take another step towards consistent competitiveness.

Wildcard Round (home team in caps)


SEAHAWKS over Vikings, Eagles over FALCONS, Dolphins over BRONCOS, PATRIOTS over Steelers

Divisional Round


PACKERS over Eagles, COWBOYS over Seahawks, RAVENS over Miami, Patriots over COLTS

Conference Championship


PACKERS over Cowboys, RAVENS over Patriots

Super Bowl


Packers over Ravens

Thursday, July 30, 2015

2015 Fantasy Football Preview: Defense


            We previously discussed why you should wait until your very last pick (or only spend $1 in an auction) on a kicker. Now, I’m here to tell you why you should wait to pick a fantasy defense until your second to last pick.
            The scoring potential of a fantasy defense is dependant on the format of your league, but my logic for picking one isn’t impacted by scoring. Here’s our thesis…

            A fantasy defense’s scoring output is driven more by the quality of the opposing offense.

            With the rules of the game the way they are today, good offenses are more often than not going to score on good defenses. Just look at what the Patriots did in the Super Bowl to Seattle last February. I’d much rather own a defense that’s going up against one of the worst offenses every week (if that isn’t a Troy Aikman-esque observation, I don’t know what is).
            Putting that theory to test, let’s look at whom the teams that were the five worst offenses in THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE play during weeks 14 through 16 of the NFL season (those are the weeks of the fantasy playoffs, depending on your league setup). With each team listed, we’ll list the pre-season fantasy rank (as generated by Yahoo) of each defense they face.

Jaguars: Colts (13), Falcons (26), @ Saints (30)
Raiders: @ Broncos (17), Packers (9), Chargers (27)
Titans: @ Jets (29), @ Patriots (7), Texans (3)
Buccaneers: Saints (30), @ Rams (5), Bears (24)
Jets: Titans (28), @ Cowboys (19), Patriots (7)

            Of this group, the Patriots and Saints are the only teams that appear twice. New Orleans has a good chance of being a car fire this season, but wouldn’t you like their chances against Famous Jameis and Blake Bortles? You’ll be able to scoop them up off of the waiver wire at some point in November. The Patriots would be my ideal defense that I would hope to have fall into the second to last round, as their pathetic division opponents coupled with their relatively easy fantasy playoff slate (their week 14 opponent is Houston, who might be playing J.J. Watt at quarterback by the time they meet in December) set up nicely.
            To summarize…don’t over value fantasy defenses (translation: don’t use your sixth round pick on the Seahawks defense), and be prepared to work the waiver wire. 

Monday, February 2, 2015

Super Bowl XLIX Thoughts

            We’re going to list our Super Bowl observations in bullets, because why have organized, coherent thoughts in essay form?

-         Folks need to pump the brakes before anointing Super Bowl XLIX the greatest Super Bowl ever. It was certainly the most unbelievable ending I can think of (advanced metrics gave Seattle an 88% chance of winning when they had second and goal on the one yard line), but in terms of historical significance, others were more important. People don’t remember how big of a deal it was when John Elway won his first Super Bowl against Green Bay. Also, the Patriots were on their way to an undefeated season seven years ago when this happened.



-         I’m not sure what was more shocking, Seattle throwing on second and goal or Walter White showing up in a commercial. My jaw dropped for both events.
-         Speaking of commercials, I have a question for ad executives across America…



-         Off hand I remember four that emphasized fatherhood, a beer ad about a lost puppy, and the NFL’s too-little-too-late attempt to pretend they care about women with their “No More” campaign. None of those ads topped Nationwide Insurance’s critically panned ad where they had a ten year old say “BUT I DIED”. We need to bring back the Budweiser Frogs for Super Bowl 50.
-         Pepsi should’ve started slipping LSD into 20-ounce bottles so soda drinkers across the country could’ve better appreciated Katy Perry’s halftime show.
-         Lenny Kravitz was supposed to be Perry’s supporting act, and he was on stage for roughly 80 seconds. Weird.
-         The best decision of the night goes to NBC for deciding not to show a replay of Seattle cornerback Jeremy Lane snapping his wrist in half.
-         Speaking of that, that was what turned the game in favor of Tom Brady and the Patriots. The Seahawks don’t have the same depth at corner they had against Denver last year, and they simply ran out of guys to cover Julian Edelman, Danny Amendola, and Shane Vereen.
-         Tom Brady is a damn good quarterback, but we’re still taking Joe Montana over him as the greatest Super Bowl QB of all time.
-         It will be very interesting to see how Russell Wilson bounces back from that ghastly interception. Plays like that ruin careers.
-    The dude that made the circus catch for Seattle was on his way to being remembered for making one of the greatest plays in Super Bowl history until the Seahawks forgot they employed Marshawn Lynch.
-         We predicted the Patriots would be playing in the Super Bowl in August. No joke you can read it right here! That’s literally the last quality football prediction I made the rest of the season.

With all that said we bid a sad goodbye to the NFL for seven months. The league’s flaws were certainly exposed over the past 12 months, but a game like Super Bowl XLIX is a reminder of why America is so obsessed with THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. We look forward to offering up our season previews for 2015 this summer. Until then, hang out with your family (remember football fans, some of you have kids), watch other sports (the NBA is ridiculous right now), or do whatever it takes to fill the void left by the NFL season ending. 

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Super Bowl Prediction

Seahawks over Patriots

Whether it's Marshawn Lynch or Russell Wilson carrying the load, Seattle's running game will be the difference.

Also, our money is on the under.

Enjoy the game, and don't drive drunk after it.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

NFL Divisional Round Picks

Don't have a lot of time this week, so we'll keep it short and sweet.

PATRIOTS (-7) over Ravens - Too much buzz that Baltimore is Tom Brady's scariest opponent, so we are going to go the other way and predict a Patriots blow out. New England 28, Baltimore 10

SEAHAWKS (-11.5) over Panthers - You can't make this line high enough. Seattle 24, Carolina 0

Cowboys (+6) over PACKERS - Rodgers calf issue gives us logical reasons to pick a Cowboys upset. Dallas 31, Green Bay 28

BRONCOS (-7) over Colts - It's weird that a team quarterbacked by Peyton Manning is under the radar, but that's exactly what has happened. They'll make noise this week. Denver 34, Indianapolis 20

Wild-Card Round = 3-1


Wednesday, December 3, 2014

NFL Power Rankings

            We are 75% of the way through the NFL regular season (sad, but true!), and now is the time where teams begin to really separate themselves. What better time to offer up a ranking of every NFL squad.

First Overall Pick Contenders

32. Oakland Raiders (1-11) – Well, at least they’ve won a game. It would be best for them to lose out so they can lock up the number one pick. Drafting a quarterback or trading the pick to surround Derek Carr with more talent are both great options.

31. New York Jets (2-10) – Rex Ryan deserves better than the putrid roster he’s forced to work with on a weekly basis.

30. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-10) – Blake Bortles has been emphatically uninspiring, which means he’s either the next Troy Aikman or the next Blaine Gabbert.

29. Tennessee Titans (2-10) – There are decent players here, but the quarterback situation is so dreadful there is no hope of contention. If Oakland were to trade the number one overall pick, Tennessee would be the most logical trade partner.

28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-10) – Tampa Bay is so bad, they are out of playoff contention in a division that is led by a team that is 5-7. We think they’d like to take the contract they gave Josh McCown back.

Hopelessly Irrelevant

27. Carolina Panthers (3-8-1) – Everyone expected the offense to struggle, but no one thought the defense would fall off so dramatically from last year.

26. Washington (3-9) – If not for the infamous Herschel Walker trade from Dallas to Minnesota in 1989, the RGIII trade would go down as the worst transaction in NFL history.

25. New York Giants (3-9) – Remember when the Giants were 3-2 this year after emphatically ending the “Kirk Cousins is the second coming of Joe Theismann” campaign in Washington? Me neither.

24. Chicago Bears (5-7) – I hope Marc Trestman has his resume up to date.

They Play in the NFC South, So They Are Sort Of Relevant

23. Atlanta Falcons (5-7) – Incredibly, the team we have ranked as the tenth worst club in the league is leading their division going into the last month of the regular season.

Good Bad Teams

22. Minnesota Vikings (5-7)
21. St. Louis Rams (5-7) – We put these clubs together because both squads are a pain in the ass to play. Minnesota in particular deserves props for how well they’ve played despite the Adrian Peterson situation hanging over their franchise.

20. Houston Texans (6-6) – Oddly enough, the only team in football with a .500 record. Houston is a solid quarterback away from serious playoff contention.

19. Cleveland Browns (7-5) – It’s time to get Johnny Fucking Football onto the field.

18. New Orleans Saints (5-7) – We really want the Saints to go 3-1 so we can avoid a 7-9 team making the playoffs. Let’s look at their remaining schedule.

Week 14 = vs. Panthers (WIN)
Week 15 = @ Bears (WIN, the Bears are garbage)
Week 16 = vs. Falcons (WIN, and they clinch the NFC South with the victory)
Week 17 = @ Buccaneers (LOSS, they will have nothing to play for)

            You heard it here first…the Saints will finish 8-8.

17. Buffalo Bills (7-5) – We can’t in good faith rank a team quarterbacked by Kyle Orton any higher.

Enigmas

16. San Francisco 49ers (7-5) – We’re not sure if it’s the hoopla surrounding Jim Harbaugh’s contract status, the league figuring out Colin Kaepernick, or Frank Gore finally losing it, but something is just off with the 49ers this year.

15. Pittsburgh Steelers (7-5) – Pittsburgh is really going to regret losing against two of the five worst teams in the NFL.

14. Kansas City Chiefs (7-5) – Kansas City is really going to regret their shocking loss at Oakland.

13. Baltimore Ravens (7-5) – Baltimore is really going to regret that late game collapse against San Diego.

12. San Diego Chargers (8-4) – San Diego’s defense has completely fallen apart, but Phil Rivers has literally put the team on his back.

11. Miami Dolphins (7-5) – I’d like the Dolphins so much more if Ryan Tannehill could consistently complete a pass that needs to travel more than 15 yards through the air.

Wish They Had Their Starting QB

10. Arizona Cardinals (9-3) – It’s a damn shame Carson Palmer went down, otherwise the Cardinals would be ranked third or fourth on this list. With Drew Stanton under center, they will be lucky to go 2-2 in December (remaining schedule is Chiefs, @ Rams, Seahawks, @ 49ers).

Best Case Scenario = Winning One Playoff Game

9. Dallas Cowboys (8-4) – I’ll admit the loss on Thanksgiving was pretty demoralizing, but you have to remember that all of our losses have occurred at home. If we can climb into a wildcard spot, it’s not unrealistic to think we could make noise in January.

8. Detroit Lions (8-4) – Detroit boasts the best scoring defense in THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, and there is enough star power on offense to think they could get hot in the playoffs.

7. Cincinnati Bengals (8-3-1) – We’d like to rank them higher, but then we remember Andy Dalton is the Bengals starting quarterback.

6. Indianapolis Colts (8-4) – Indy has gotten smoked whenever they've taken the field against an elite team, but Andrew Luck has the ability to put the Colts on his back in the playoffs.

Super Bowl Contenders

5. Philadelphia Eagles (9-3) – The Eagles are an elite quarterback away from being the best team in football. Having Nick Foles or Mark Sanchez under center in January will be a problem.

4. Seattle Seahawks (8-4) – Seattle is flying under the radar, but we’re forecasting a first round bye for the defending Super Bowl champs.

3. Green Bay Packers (9-3) – In a season full of impressive quarterback performances, what Aaron Rodgers did to lead the Packers to victory over the Patriots is near the top of the list.

2. Denver Broncos (9-3) – Denver righted themselves offensively after they laid an egg in St. Louis.


1. New England Patriots (9-3) – There is no shame in losing at Lambeau Field, but the Patriots can’t afford to slip up the rest of the way.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Deep NFL Thoughts For Week 12

            We took the week off last week (the Cowboys did have a bye week after all), but we’re back with a sentence or two about every NFL game this weekend.

Browns @ Falcons

            We here at No Credentials are overjoyed that avid pot smoker Josh Gordon is back on the field. Fans of the blog (all six of you) will remember us waxing poetic about him a year ago when he was carrying three of my fantasy teams to glory.

Fearless Gordon forecast against the shitty Falcons = 6 receptions, 126 yards, 2 touchdowns

Titans @ Eagles

            A valuable lesson was learned by the masses last week…don’t trust Mark Sanchez two straight weeks to lead your fantasy football team. The Titans are crappy enough that LeSean McCoy should limit the amount of impact the Sanchize has this week.

Lions @ Patriots

            Friend of the blog Ethan Hedrick will be at Gillette Stadium for this one. That has no relevance to anything, but I thought I would note it.

Packers @ Vikings

            Green Bay needs to thank their lucky stars that Packer destroyer Adrian Peterson had his suspension extended, although it’s hard to imagine that the Vikings would’ve been galvanized by A.P.’s return. In other words, we don’t know if Peterson’s absence will help or hurt the Vikings.

Jaguars @ Colts

            The over/under for this one is 50.5. Indianapolis might cover that by themselves.

Bengals @ Texans

            Houston kicked Andy Dalton’s ass two years in a row in the playoffs, and the Texans actually looked decent last week with Ryan Mallet under center.

Buccaneers @ Bears

            Under normal circumstances this game would only have an impact on the order at the top of the 2015 NFL Draft, but the NFC South is so terrible the Bucs still could run the table and make the playoffs.

Cardinals @ Seahawks

            At some point Seattle has to wake up and kick someone’s ass.

Rams @ Chargers

            Once upon a time San Diego actually looked like a legitimate threat to make a run to the Super Bowl. Now they can’t block, have no runningbacks, and their defense is garbage. Better luck next year.

Dolphins @ Broncos

            Losing two of your top three receiving threats within one quarter is never a good thing, so we’re pinning last week’s pitiful effort in St. Louis on that. We expect Denver to right the ship this week.

Washington @ 49ers

            Sadly, this one might have to be renamed “The Over-rated Mobile Quarterbacks Bowl”.

GIANTS (+4) over Cowboys
            With a huge game coming up on Thanksgiving against the Eagles, don’t be shocked to see the Cowboys looking a little unfocused for three quarters of this game. If they do win, it will be by no more than three points.

Jets vs. Bills

            One has to pity the poor Bills, who after ceding a home game to Toronto for several years, now have to play a home date in Detroit because of The Snowpocalypse.

Ravens @ Saints

             I’m cheering for the Saints only because I don’t want to see a 6-10 team win the NFC South.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Week 6 NFL Picks

            I was busy working this weekend, so we’re just barely getting these picks up. That’s not a bad thing, as this limits the possibility that anyone on Earth would actually wager actual money on these selections.


Broncos (-9.5) over JETS

BROWNS (-1) over Steelers

Jaguars (+4.5) over TITANS

Packers (-3) over DOLPHINS

Lions (+1.5) over VIKINGS

BENGALS (-6.5) over Panthers

BILLS (+3) over Patriots

Ravens (-3.5) over BUCCANEERS

Chargers (-7.5) over RAIDERS

FALCONS (-3) over Bears

SEAHAWKS (-8.5) over Cowboys

CARDINALS (-3.5) over Redskins

EAGLES (-2.5) over Giants

49ers (-3.5) over RAMS
           

Week 3 = 8-7
Thursday = 1-0
Season = 36-47

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (10/3-10/5)

10. The Patriots Aren’t Dead
            So quit your bitching New England.

9. Arizona State Drops USC With Last Second Hail Mary
            Cue video!



8. Matt Kemp Delivers Game 2 Win for Los Angeles
            After Clayton Kershaw was rocked in Game 1, the Dodgers needed someone to make a play to even the series. Kemp delivered with an eighth inning dinger.

7. Orioles, Royals Punch Tickets to ALCS
            This might be the first playoff series that I will legitimately be rooting for both teams to win.

6. Cowboys Blow a 10-Point Fourth Quarter Lead, Still Win in Overtime
            Rough estimates by our crack research staff say that Dallas has lost in this exact scenario roughly 300 times in the last decade. Funny things are happening Big D.
           
5. Peyton Manning Tosses 500th Career Touchdown
            Nothing else to do here other than tip your cap and say “Omaha”.

4. Cleveland Browns Successfully Complete Largest Road Comeback in NFL History
            Reportedly, it will still count even though it occurred against the Titans.
           
3. Mississippi State Routs Texas A&M  
2. Ole Miss Shocks Alabama
            Saturday may have been the greatest day in the history of Mississippi.

 1. San Francisco Giants Win Longest Postseason Game Ever
            In a game where there were more innings played (18) than hits (17), No Credentials was desperately hoping a shipment of HGH could be split among both clubhouses. Surprisingly, Washington was able to bounce back from this soul crushing defeat to win Game 3.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Week 5 NFL Picks

            We’re making an announcement…if we don’t finish above .500 this week, we are retiring from NFL picks this season. No Credentials clearly has no firm grasp of what is going to happen in any of these games, so unless there’s a swift turnaround, we don’t see any reason to try to sucker people into thinking we are making quality picks. Sometimes, you have to know when you don’t have it. With that said, we tried really hard this week (which translates to about 5 minutes of deep thought), and with the momentum from the Packers victory Thursday, could be in line for a break through.


Bears (+2) over PANTHERS
            These two teams are the epitome of the “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THE NFL THIS YEAR?” phenomenon. For what it’s worth, the Bears are 2-0 on the road this year.

Browns (+1) over TITANS
            Tennessee should not be favored against anyone in THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. We’re taking Cleveland and the one point out of principle.

EAGLES (-7) over Rams
            Here’s a combination of “Philly is due to pummel someone” and “St. Louis has looked competent for two straight games”.

Falcons (+4.5) over GIANTS
            Folks are overreacting to New York’s two game winning streak. One needs to remember that their wins came against the Texans without Arian Foster and a Washington team whose only claim to fame was destroying Jacksonville. Pump the brakes Giants fans. 

Buccaneers (+10) over SAINTS
            Another principle pick…there’s no way the Saints should be double-digit favorites over anyone. Tampa Bay also has a history of playing the Saints tough, even when New Orleans has been playing well.

Texans (+6.5) over COWBOYS
            We’ve picked against Dallas every week this year, and that’s translated to their first 3-1 start in six years. Since clearly the success of my picks is hopeless, at least we can try to keep the good vibes going with Tony Romo and company.

LIONS (-7) over Bills
            “GOOD GOD, THAT’S KYLE ORTON’S MUSIC!!!”

COLTS (-3.5) over Ravens
            I like Andrew the Giant to drag the Colts over .500 for the first time this year.

Steelers (-6.5) over JAGUARS
            I mean, the Steelers can’t lose to Tampa Bay and Jacksonville back-to-back weeks right?

Cardinals (+8) over BRONCOS
            Our third principle pick…this line is too damn high. One of the fun facts of 2014 is Denver being 0-3 so far against the spread.

49ERS (-5.5) over Chiefs
            I’m sure everyone and their third cousin wants to bang the Chiefs as a road dog after there demolishing of the New England Patriots. We aren’t falling for it.

CHARGERS (-7) over Jets
            Tough spot for Geno and the Jets. This line could be 10 points or higher.

Bengals (-1.5) over PATRIOTS
            The standard thing to do here would be to bet on Tom Brady (as a home dog!) in primetime to bounce back, but logic dictates that New England’s mediocre offense will have a really hard time against a well-rested Bengals squad.

Seahawks (-7.5) over REDSKINS
            Kirk Cousins turned into a pumpkin during the third quarter against the Giants in Week 4.
           

Week 3 = 5-11
Thursday = 1-0
Season = 27-40

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Week 4 NFL Picks

            After a catastrophic Week 2, we at least managed to go .500 last week. I’d forecast a banner Week 4, but we already blew real cash on the turd sandwich that was Kirk Cousins Thursday night.

  
Dolphins (-3.5) over Raiders (game being played in London)

Packers (-2) over BEARS

Bills (+3) over TEXANS

COLTS (-7.5) over Titans

Panthers (+3.5) over RAVENS

JETS (+2.5) over Lions

STEELERS (-7.5) over Buccaneers

CHARGERS (-13) over Jaguars

49ERS (-4.5) over Eagles

Falcons (-3) over VIKINGS

Saints (-3) over COWBOYS

Patriots (-3) over CHIEFS
           

Week 3 =8-8
Thursday = 0-1

Season = 21-29

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Week 3 NFL Picks

            Last week, our picks were terrible. Like, worse than the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. After posting our worst week of prognostication in the history of this blog, we are happy to report that we started Week 3 by being on the right side of the Falcons 56-14 rout Thursday night.
            As we’ve done in the past after a bad week, we aren’t offering up any analysis with our picks, as we don’t want to give anyone the impression that we know what we are talking about. We’re also suspending our “Stock Up, Stock Down” segment, as all three teams we highlighted as being bullish on lost in Week 2. Again, this is all for America’s safety.

Chargers (+2.5) over BILLS

RAMS (+2) over Cowboys

EAGLES (-6) over Redskins

Texans (-1) over GIANTS

SAINTS (-10.5) over Vikings

BENGALS (-7) over Titans

BROWNS (+1.5) over Ravens

Packers (+2.5) over LIONS

Colts (-7) over JAGUARS

PATRIOTS (-14.5) over Raiders

CARDINALS (+3) over 49ers

SEAHAWKS (-4.5) over Broncos

DOLPHINS (-4) over Chiefs

PANTHERS (-3.5) over Steelers

Bears (+2.5) over JETS
           

Week 2 = 2-14 (L)
Thursday = 1-0
Season = 13-20

Saturday, September 13, 2014

NFL Week 2 Picks

            Last week we did our best to stick to our pre-season predictions (only failing with the Bears-Bills game), and we rode that to the best Week 1 in the history of this blog. Sadly, we went against our pre-season prediction of the Steelers sucking when we backed them Thursday (although was there really any proper way to gauge how Baltimore was going to play in the wake of the Ray Rice scandal?), so we’re going back to basics for the rest of our Week 2 picks. 

           New wrinkles we are going to add each week with our picks is to highlight teams we feel are trending up or down. For our purposes, we will only relate that to how we forecasted each team to do before the season (for example we predicted the Giants to finish last in the NFC East, so there’s no reason for me to list them in the Stock Down section). We don’t like to overreact to Week 1, so there aren’t too many teams we are going to discuss.

Stock Up

Atlanta Falcons – Matt Ryan was head and shoulders above any other quarterback in the league with his Week 1 performance against the Saints. That level of play over an entire season can drag a mediocre roster into the playoffs.
Tennessee Titans – We announced earlier in the summer that my son would take over as the Titans quarterback in my Madden 15 franchise, so I was pleasantly surprised by Jake Locker’s performance at Arrowhead Stadium last week.
Indianapolis Colts – It’s weird typing this about a team that lost, but the Colts left a ton of points on the board against Denver. A few breaks here or there and Andrew Luck might’ve been able to steal the game from Peyton Manning. I wouldn’t of thought it possible before the season, but there is a chance they can finish as the second seed in the AFC.

Stock Down

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – You can’t lose a game at home to a team quarterbacked by Derek Anderson, regardless of the quality of defense your team is going against. There’s a good chance Josh McCown has turned into a pumpkin after his magical run with the Bears last year.
San Diego Chargers – It was trendy before the season to pick San Diego to upset the Broncos in the AFC West, but blowing an eleven-point lead to Carson Palmer shows the Chargers are the same frustrating team they’ve been for the better part of the last decade.

            Without further ado, the Week 2 picks.

1-0 Lions (+2.5) over 1-0 PANTHERS

            Detroit is well equipped to handle an overmatched Panthers secondary. We’re happy to get points here.

1-0 BILLS (Even) over 1-0 Dolphins
            Thankfully for Buffalo fans E.J. Manuel was just competent enough to deliver a shocking overtime win in Chicago. We like Buffalo’s chances of shutting down Miami’s offense.

0-1 Jaguars (+5.5) over 0-1 WASHINGTON
            Washington shouldn’t be favored by more than a field goal against any team in THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE.

1-0 TITANS (-3.5) over 0-1 Cowboys
            Tennessee has plenty of talent at wide receiver to dominate the comically awful Cowboys defense.

0-1 GIANTS (+2.5) over 1-0 Cardinals
            We hate the Giants but the schedule makers did them a favor here. Arizona’s game against San Diego finished at roughly 1:15 am Eastern time on Tuesday, and now they have to travel three time zones and play at 1:00 pm Sunday.

0-1 Patriots (-6.5) over 1-0 VIKINGS
            New England was our pick before the news about Adrian Peterson not playing broke. This could be a blow out.

0-1 Saints (-6.5) over 0-1 BROWNS
            Somehow a two-team teaser with the Patriots and Saints won’t work, even though it looks so simple on paper.

1-0 Falcons (+5.5) over 1-0 BENGALS
            We have the Bengals winning by three.

1-0 BUCCANEERS (-6) over 0-1 Rams
            St. Louis looks well on their way to the top overall pick after a listless performance at home against the Vikings.

1-0 Seahawks (-6) over 0-1 CHARGERS
            Here’s a new rule for 2014…don’t bet against the Seahawks unless the spread is over a touchdown or they are on the road at San Francisco.

0-1 RAIDERS (+3) over 1-0 Texans
            After Oakland heroically pulled off a back door cover at New York, we’re happy to get three points with them against Houston.

0-1 PACKERS (-8) over 1-0 Jets
            Here’s your suicide pool pick.

1-0 BRONCOS (-12.5) over 0-1 Chiefs
            It’s a really weird line, but when Kansas City is down 14-0 in the first quarter do you really trust Alex Smith to cover?

1-0 49ERS (-7) over 0-1 Bears
            Rumor has it Curtis Conway might come out of retirement to catch passes from Jay Cutler this week. We’ll also predict over 200 yards rushing for San Francisco.

0-1 COLTS (-3) over 1-0 Eagles
            To say Philadelphia was a little wobbly against Jacksonville last week is an understatement. Andrew the Giant will take care of business at home.
           

Week 1 = 10-6
Thursday = 0-1

Saturday, September 6, 2014

NFL Week 1 Picks

            We’re back with another year of shoddy football picks. No Credentials nailed Week 1 (visit our Facebook page for proof, and while your there do me a solid and like the page), so perhaps we’re in for a banner gambling year.

Saints (-3.5) over FALCONS

       Assuming the Saints are one of the three best teams in the NFC, we think we are getting a 3-point discount on this line.     

Vikings (+3.5) over RAMS
            In Week 1 battles of teams likely to end up in the top 10 of next year’s draft, we’ll take the points.

Browns (+7) over STEELERS
            Ditto.

EAGLES (-10.5) over Jaguars
            Here’s your suicide pool pick.

Raiders (+5.5) over JETS
            Here’s another bottom feeder match-up.

RAVENS (-1) over Bengals
            We’re predicting Andy Dalton lays a Week 1 stinker.

BEARS (-7) over Bills
            Here’s your second suicide pool pick.

TEXANS (-3) over Redskins
            Houston’s defense is a tough draw for RGIII.

CHIEFS (-3.5) over Titans
            Kansas City is due for regression, but Tennessee isn’t equipped to take advantage of it.

DOLPHINS (+4.5) over Patriots
            For my money, the hardest line to pick of the week. We’re guessing New England wins by a field goal.

BUCCANEERS (-3) over Panthers
            Too many red flags with the Panthers for us to take them on the road.

49ers (-4) over COWBOYS
            I don’t care how many more 49ers get arrested before kickoff tomorrow. They are still going to cut through the Cowboys’ defense like Swiss cheese.

BRONCOS (-8) over Colts
            Denver is going to make an example out of the Colts in this one.

LIONS (-6.5) over Giants
            At first glance this line feels high, but when one takes stock of the performance of the Giants offense last year and this pre-season, it’s warranted.

Chargers (+3) over CARDINALS
            This game will be the litmus test for whether or not the NFC is significantly better than the AFC this year.

Thursday Pick = 1-0

Thursday, July 24, 2014

2014 AFC East Preview

            Our first division preview of the summer takes us to the AFC East, which should just be called “the thing the Patriots win every year as long as Tom Brady is under center”. For each team, we list last season’s record, this year’s schedule, key veterans for each squad (we borrowed the rankings and categories from Pro Football Focus, so don’t get pissed at me when you see that Tom Brady isn’t rated as a Blue Chipper), and the top rated rookies (we borrowed everyone Scouts Inc. rated as an 80 or higher).



4. New York Jets
2013 Record = 8-8, Second in AFC East, Missed Playoffs
2014 Schedule = Raiders, @ Packers, Bears, Lions, @ Chargers, Broncos, @ Patriots, Bills, @ Chiefs, Steelers, BYE, @ Bills, Dolphins, @ Vikings, @ Titans, Patriots, @ Dolphins

Blue Chippers = None
High Quality Players = DE Muhammad Wilkerson, DT Sheldon Richardson, DT Damon Harrison
Solid Contributors = WR Eric Decker, WR Jeremy Kerley, LT D’Brickashaw Ferguson, C Nick Mangold, CB Dimitri Patterson
Impact Rookies = S Calvin Pryor (1-18, Louisville), TE Jace Amaro (2-49, Texas Tech)

Good News = There’s a 0% chance Mark Sanchez will take a snap under center.
Bad News = Did you watch Geno Smith last year?

Outlook = The 2013 New York Jets were one of the worst 8-8 teams in the history of THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, which is truly a testament to much maligned Head Coach Rex Ryan. They had the seventh worst point differential in the league, getting outscored by 97 points. Chris Johnson has the potential to reintroduce big plays into the Jets running game. Eric Decker is better suited as a #2 receiver, but he’s still better than anyone Gang Green trotted out last year. More so than any other team in the AFC East, the Jets need mammoth contributions from their offensive and defensive lines to cover up for their deficiencies under center and in the secondary. At least the secondary has the promise of Dee Milliner (he was awesome in December after looking terrible his first three months in the league) and rookie Calvin Pryor to provide long-term stability, but Geno Smith gave little indication he’s a viable franchise quarterback. It will take either a titanic progression from Geno, or yet another career resuscitation by Michael Vick, to carry the Jets into playoff contention. 

Prediction = We’re guessing the defense will keep them in games, and possibly even steal a couple at home, but New York’s abysmal quarterback situation drops their record closer to where it should’ve been last year. 5-11



3. Miami Dolphins
2013 Record = 8-8, Third in AFC East, Missed Playoffs
2014 Schedule = Patriots, @ Bills, Chiefs, Raiders (London), BYE, Packers, @ Bears, @ Jaguars, Chargers, @ Lions, Bills, @ Broncos, @ Jets, Ravens, @ Patriots, Vikings, Jets

Blue Chippers = DE Cameron Wake
High Quality Players = LT Brandon Albert, DT Randy Starks, CB Brent Grimes
Solid Contributors = QB Ryan Tannehill, HB Knowshon Moreno, WR Mike Wallace, WR Brian Hartline, WR Brandon Gibson, TE Charles Clay, DT Jared Odrick, SS Reshad Jones
Impact Rookies = T Ja’Wuan James (1-19, Tennessee), WR Jarvis Landry (2-61, LSU)

Good News = Mike Sherman isn’t around to call dumb plays.
Bad News = Junior bully Mike Pouncey will miss at least the first half of the season.

Outlook = Miami had one of the weirder seasons of any team last year, which makes sense considering they dealt with the first ever pro sports bullying scandal. After putting themselves in position to control their own destiny with a dramatic Week 15 victory over the Patriots, Miami only managed to put up seven points combined against Buffalo and the Jets to stumble to an 8-8 finish. The Dolphins canned General Manager Jeff Ireland (infamous for asking Dez Bryant if his mother was a prostitute during Bryant’s NFL Combine interview), but inexplicably left Head Coach Joe Philbin in charge. There are quality players up and down the roster, but the Dolphins have failed thus far to put it all together. Ryan Tannehill had a solid season in 2013, but needs to improve his deep ball accuracy to fully take advantage of Mike Wallace. Miami’s offensive line play was abysmal last season (Tannehill was sacked 58 times), and the Dolphins were wise to make that a priority. Brandon Albert comes from Kansas City to solidify left tackle, and first round pick Ja’Wuan James will handle the right side. James was probably a reach, but we’ve seen plenty of offensive line picks get panned at first glance (see Travis Frederick last year for Dallas). Knowshon Moreno provides some punch to the running game, but his greatest asset is the ability to pass protect. Defensively, Miami slipped in almost every meaningful category from their 2012 performance. Cameron Wake is one of the criminally underrated defensive players in the league.

Prediction = We don’t think Ryan Tannehill has another jump in progression, and their rushing attack will struggle to be average. Fittingly, so will the team. 7-9


2. Buffalo Bills
2013 Record = 6-10, Last in AFC East, Missed Playoffs
2014 Schedule = @ Bears, Dolphins, Chargers, @ Texans, @ Lions, Patriots, Vikings, @ Jets, BYE, Chiefs, @ Dolphins, Jets, Browns, @ Broncos, Packers, @ Raiders, @ Patriots

Blue Chippers = DT Kyle Williams
High Quality Players = HB C.J. Spiller, DE Marcell Dareus
Solid Contributors = LT Cordy Glenn, HB Fred Jackson, DE Mario Williams, MLB Brandon Spikes
Impact Rookies = WR Sammy Watkins (1-4, Clemson), T Cyrus Kouandjio (2-44, Alabama)

Good News = They will return their entire pass-rushing unit that set a franchise record for sacks last season.
Bad News = Bon Jovi might buy the team.

Outlook = Are the Buffalo Bills the Sacramento Kings of the NFL, or are the Kings the Bills of the NBA? Both are going for bust to try to make playoff runs when the odds seem hopelessly stacked against them. Like the team we just discussed, the Bills are also leaning on a second year quarterback to make gains. E.J. Manuel showed promise last year, but injuries forced him to miss six games. Some of those durability issues can be attributed to a shoddy offensive line, but Buffalo was aggressive in free agency and the draft in patching that unit up. The Bills traded next year’s first round pick to move up five spots and draft Sammy Watkins. Watkins has game changing talent, and needs to develop immediate chemistry with Manuel in order for the Bills to make a playoff run. Defensively, Buffalo was great at rushing the quarterback, but often appeared indifferent to opposing runners. Without star middle linebacker Kiko Alonso (blew his knee out in mini-camp), they need their defensive lineman to be more aware of opposing ground games. Former Patriot Brandon Spikes will also provide a lift in this department.

Prediction = A mostly healthy Manuel helps Buffalo scratch and claw its way just over .500, which at least keeps the pick they are sending to Cleveland in the mid-teens. 9-7



1. New England Patriots
2013 Record = 12-4, AFC East Champions, Lost AFC Championship Game
2014 Schedule = @ Dolphins, @ Vikings, Raiders, @ Chiefs, Bengals, @ Bills, Jets, Bears, Broncos, BYE, @ Colts, Lions, @ Packers, @ Chargers, Dolphins, @ Jets, Bills

Blue Chippers = TE Rob Gronkowski, CB Darrelle Revis, FS Devin McCourty
High Quality Players = QB Tom Brady, LT Nate Solder, RT Sebastian Vollmer
Solid Contributors = WR Julian Edelman, WR Danny Amendola, LG Logan Mankins, DE Rob Ninkovich, DE Chandler Jones, DT Vince Wilfork, MLB Jerod Mayo, OLB Dont’a Hightower, OLB Jamie Collins
Impact Rookies = QB Jimmy Garoppolo (2-62, Eastern Illinois)

Good News = Rob Gronkowski has already been cleared for contact, and should be healthy (at least for a little while) Week 1.

Bad News = Despite Tom Brady posting his lowest quarterback rating in a decade, New England did nothing to improve the wide receiver core.

Outlook = It’s weird to think that in Tom Brady’s fifteenth year in the league New England boasts some of the best young talent in the league, but it’s true. The Patriots employ plenty of players entering their sophomore or junior NFL campaigns that if a leap is made, will catapult them into the top of the AFC. This depth was likely the reason they made riskier draft picks than you normally see from a Bill Belichick team. When Brandon Browner returns from a drug related suspension in Week 5, the Patriots could have the most dominant defensive unit that isn’t based out of the NFC West. Inking Darrelle Revis to fill the void left by Aqib Talib was a masterstroke, and we also like adding former Saint Will Smith to add depth at defensive end. Jamie Collins and Chandler Jones should both make a run at high quality status by the end of the season.
            Offensively New England chose to stand pat instead of bringing in top-flight talent. We’re still the most intrigued by second year player Aaron Dobson (we wrote that last year too, but he dropped that prediction along with nine other passes on a Thursday night against the Jets), who possesses the physical tools to be a number one receiver. Everything becomes easier for Tom Brady if Rob Gronkowski can just stay on the field, but with each additional physical ailment it’s hard to foresee him suiting up for more than ten games. If I were Belichick, I’d consider limiting his snaps to red zone possessions only for the first half of the year. We like the combination of Stevan Ridley (provided he stops fumbling the ball) and PPR monster Shane Vereen in the backfield. Brandon Bolden has also proven capable at times.

Prediction = Dobson takes a leap, Shane Vereen stays healthy, and Brady gets his quarterback rating over 100. Couple that with a top-5 defense, and we predict that the Patriots will be playing for the Lombardi Trophy in February. 13-3

Click here to read about the AFC South
Click here to read about the NFC East
Click here to read about the NFC South
Click here to read about the AFC North
Click here to read about the NFC North
Click here to read about the AFC West