10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (2/15-2/17)

10. Rick Grimes Keeps Seeing His Dead Wife
            I watch “The Walking Dead” to see zombies, not a dude going bonkers and making out with a ghost.

9. Rafael Nadal Wins First Tennis Tournament Since Returning From Injury

            Tennis is way more interest when Nadal is in the mix. That’s your Troy Aikman-esque comment of the day, sponsored by “You’re Absolutely Right Joe”.

8. Lionel Messi Scores 300^th Career Goal For Barcelona

            Here’s your obligatory mention of futbol in the weekly top 10 to soak up some cheap page hits from Europe.

7. Terrance Ross Wins the Worst Dunk Contest Ever

            Want to get some stars into the dunk contest? Let’s offer a $1 million (after taxes) to the winner. You’ll get some name guys to particpate for that prize.

6. Michael Kidd-Gilchrist Admits He Lost 1-on-1 Game Against Michael Jordan

            I’d make fun of Kidd-Gilchrist more, but I once got up-faked by a dude in his sixties a couple of years back.

5. #2 Duke Gets Upset By Maryland
            Here’s this week’s installment of the “Big Time College Basketball Upset That No Credentials Doesn’t Give A Shit About”, sponsored by Apple Cider Vinegar.

4. Kyrie Irving Takes Home 3-Point Shootout Championship

            An impressive showing by the Cavaliers budding superstar point guard, who scored 23 out of a possible 30 points in the final round against New Hampshire’s own Matt Bonner.

3. Kevin Harvick Starts Lame-Duck Season With Sprint Unlimited Win
            We won’t put too much stock in this win as the majority of the top teams were knocked out early in the race, so don’t look for Harvick to be ranked very high in this week’s NASCAR season preview.

2. Danica Patrick Wins Daytona 500 Pole

            NASCAR has a long list of “storybook” outcomes, so here’s where Danica’s pole winning run ranks.

1. Richard Petty claiming his 200^th and final career win with Ronald Reagan in attendance at the 1984 Firecracker 400 (Petty was, and still is, a diehard Republican, so this victory turned into a glorified campaign stop for Reagan while he was running for his second term in office).

2. Dale Earnhardt Jr. winning the Pepsi 400 just five months after his father died in a last-lap crash in the 500 (as someone who watched the whole race live, I don’t care about the conspiracy theory. That was the most memorable NASCAR victory by anyone of the entire decade).
3. Danica Patrick winning the pole for this year’s Daytona 500.

            You might think I’d come down negatively on this, but you’d be mistaken. Qualifying at Daytona is in the discussion of most boring things you could ever watch on television. Furthermore, qualifying means very little at a restrictor plate track where cars zoom from the back to the front in less than a handful of laps. If NASCAR did anything to “encourage” a pole-winning run by Patrick, I’d call that some damn good marketing.

1. Chris Paul Quarterbacks West Win in NBA All-Star Game

            Paul was the MVP, Kevin Durant was the best scorer, but it was Kobe Bryant’s two blocks of Lebron James that will go in the books as the most memorable moments of the game.