10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (12/27-12/29)

10. Bruins Defenseman Dennis Seidenberg Diagnosed With Torn ACL
            Seidenberg has been one of the unsung heroes of Boston’s Cup-contending teams over the past few years, and will be sorely missed on the blue-line.

9. Andrew Bynum Suspended By Cavaliers

            Bynum showed flashes of his former self in spurts this year, and has one of the friendlier contracts in the NBA. Don’t be shocked if a contender picks him up before the trade deadline.

8. Ronda Rousey Busts Out the Patented Arm Bar Again

            No Credentials hit a new gambling low Saturday night and actually lost money wagering on Miesha Tate.

7. Yaisel Puig Pulled Over Doing 110 MPH
            One wonders if Puig tried to claim that he thought his speedometer was measuring his speed in kilometers.

6. Denver Obliterates More NFL Records

            Peyton Manning pushed the single season touchdown record to 55, while also breaking Drew Brees’ single-season passing yardage record by a single yard. Meanwhile, Denver became the first team in the history of THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE to score more than 600 points in a season. The previous two sentences won’t mean a thing if they choke again in January.

5. Sexy Rex Will Return to Jets’ Sideline in 2014
            We’ve taken quite a few shots at the Jets over the past few seasons, but when you step back and look at their 2013 campaign, it really is amazing that Rex Ryan was able to coach this team to eight wins this year. He earned another season.

4. Anderson Silva Breaks His Leg, Chris Weidman Defends Title

            In what was one of the more gruesome UFC injuries in recent memory, we likely have seen the last of Anderson Silva.

3. San Diego Rallies to Make Postseason

            After being given a golden oppurtunity with Baltimore and Miami losing earlier in the day, San Diego almost lost to Kansas City’s backup team. We don’t like their chances in round 1 at Cincinnati.
         
2. Kyle Orton Does Best Tony Romo Impersonation
            Naturally, a late interception spelled doom for the Dallas Cowboys. Apparently it doesn’t matter who’s under center.

1. Aaron Rodgers Returns, Leads to Packers to NFC North Title

            Rodgers had to shake off a ton of rust, but made one of the most dramatic plays of the season with his 4^th and 9, 48-yard touchdown pass to Randall Cobb.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (10/11-10/13)

10. Derek Jeter Fractures His Left Ankle
            Even the staunchest Red Sox Nation supporter has to feel bad for the Yankees captain. Much like Peyton Manning going down last year, you’d much rather see your rival lose on the field than not be able to play because of injury.

9. Anderson Silva Destroys Stephan Bonner

            Silva was brought in to UFC 153 to essentially save the card, and put on a dominating display. If Dana White has his way, a date with Jon Jones could be in his future.

8. Notre Dame Survives Frantic Finish, Knocks Off Stanford in Overtime

            Notre Dame isn’t playing the sexiest brand of football, but they are 6-0 for the first time in a decade.

7. Clint Bowyer Has Just Enough Gas to Win at Charlotte

            A big night in the Chase, as mismanagement of fuel mileage by Brad Keselowski has tightened the standings.

6. Aaron Rodgers Throws Ten Million Touchdown Passes

            All right, Rodgers actually only threw six touchdown passes, but ten million made for a sexier headline. Huge performance by the Packers on the road in a must win game.

5. Felix Baumgartner Successfully Plummets 24 Miles From Outer Space

            I don’t mean to be morbid, but what would’ve happened if this freefall were unsuccessful? Would he have pile-drived through the Earth’s crust and reappeared in Sweden?

4. Herschel Gets His Leg Bit, Then Cut Off On “The Walking Dead”
            As my wife astutely pointed out shortly after the conclusion of the Season 3 premier, it didn’t make a whole lot of sense for Rick to drag the man who’s supposed to deliver your wife’s baby along on a dangerous search mission.

3. Ravens Try to Give Game Away, Still Beat Cowboys
            This game covered the majority of reasons the Dallas Cowboys lose football games. Let’s run through the list and check off everything they hit Sunday.

A.     A backbreaking turnover or two or five (Check. Romo’s interception late in the first half turned what should’ve been a 13-10 lead into a 17-10 deficit. For those of you not mathematically inclined, that’s a 10-point swing)

B.     A goofy special teams play (Check. Jacoby Jones tied the NFL record for longest kickoff return with his 108-yard touchdown in the third quarter)

C.     Bad play calling (Stunningly, can’t check this one off. Jason Garrett stuck to the running game even when he was down to his third and fourth string runningbacks)

D.     Dominate total yards and time of possession (Check. Dallas had the ball twice as long as the Ravens did, and out gained Baltimore 481-316)

E.      Jerry Jones ran onto the field and in a desperate attempt to relive his athletic days, played right guard on a crucial third down (Can’t check this one, but that would’ve been great if it did happen)

F.      Dez Bryant either doing something stupid or failing to make a play (Check. Dropping the two-point conversion pass that hit him right in the chest counts as failing to make a play)

G.     An injury to an important player (Check. DeMarco Murray sprained his foot after running all over the Ravens in the first half)

H.     Poor clock management (Check. After a gift pass interference call gave Dallas the ball at the Ravens 35, they completed a short pass, and then let 20 seconds run off the clock before using their last timeout. They didn’t run another play, which prevented them from getting any closer. Naturally, Dan Bailey missed a 52-yard field goal to end the game)

2. RGIII Goes Bonkers

            Griffin’s 76-yard touchdown run to seal the game was the most electrifying touchdown of the 2012 season so far. 

1. Russell Wilson Leads Stunning Comeback Victory Over New England

            I guess I have to stop saying that Russell Wilson sucks. At least for one week.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (2/4-2/6)

10. Russian Hockey League Claims Hardest Shot Record Broken

            According to the KHL (the main Russian hockey league), Russian defenseman Denis Kulyash fired a slap shot 110.3 mph. Faithful readers of this column (all eight of you) may recall that Zdeno Chara of the Boston Bruins set a new record with a slap shot that went 105.9 mph. Kulyash is a former 8^th round pick of the Nashville Predators who never appeared in a NHL game. He’s also about 6 inches shorter than Chara. I’m not going to say that I don’t believe the KHL, but…well ya, I don’t believe them. At all. Nice publicity stunt though fellas.

9. David Stern Adds Kevin Love to NBA All-Star Team

            I had faith that David Stern wouldn’t screw this up, and he delivered. Stern tapped Love to replace Yao Ming, who despite his season ending injuries, was voted into the All-Star Game by 2 million Chinese people. Love has been a revelation this season, even despite being on one of the worst teams in the league. A guy who averages 20 and 15 needs to be in the All-Star Game.

8. Arsenal Blows Four Goal Lead, Settles For Draw at Newcastle

            It’s not very often you’ll see soccer in this space (come back in three years during the next World Cup if soccer is your thing), but a team blowing a four-goal lead is the equivalent of the Eagle’s comeback against the New York Giants last December.

7. Cameron Diaz Caught on Camera Feeding Popcorn to Alex Rodriguez at Super Bowl

            This was the funniest moment of Super Bowl XLV. It only would’ve been topped if instead of feeding A-Rod popcorn, Diaz were caught injecting Rodriguez with HGH.

6. NFL Owners Meet With Players Union

            No word if progress was made, but at least the two sides are talking. These two sides better figure this crap out, because this column is going to die next fall when I’m forced to write about the Chase for the Sprint Cup every four days (I think I just vomited in my mouth a little bit).

5. Deion Sanders, Marshall Faulk, Shannon Sharpe, and Richard Dent Elected to NFL Hall of Fame

            Cris Carter should’ve been included with this group, but wide receivers usually have to wait a few turns before they get elected. I was a little bummed that Curtis Martin didn’t make it either, but his rushing totals will put him in eventually. Richard Dent should’ve been in years ago, so it was nice to see him enter the Hall.

            As for the other three guys, these were all players that I remember trading for to stack my Madden team when I was about 12 or 13 years old (in other words, I feel old). Shannon Sharpe sounds like a moron on CBS, but we can’t forget some of the memorable comments he made during his playing career (CALL IN THE NATIONAL GUARD…WE ARE KILLING THE PATRIOTS!). Faulk was the perfect runningback for “The Greatest Show on Turf”. Deion Sanders was a dynamic player who brought flashiness and star-power to the defensive side of the ball.

4. Anderson Silva Kicks Vitor Belfort in the Face

            UFC got lost in all of the Super Bowl hoopla a little bit (note to Dana White: let’s not schedule any fights on the weekend of the Super Bowl. There’s you know, 51 other weekends you can choose), but the sheer awesomeness of Silva’s foot nailing Belfort’s chin can not be underestimated. Silva is a monster.

3. Phil Simms Threatens to Punch Desmond Howard

            According to eyewitness accounts, Simms was pissed off that Howard made a comment about Simms’ son Matt (who is a quarterback at the University of Tennessee) being one of the three worst quarterbacks in the SEC during an ESPN pre-game show last season. Simms called Howard “a hack broadcaster” and threatened to fight him.

According to his Twitter page, Howard replied, “Let’s go!” Both men needed to be separated by police.

This is a tough one from a moral perspective. Simms was stepping up to defend his son, who while not the next Peyton Manning (or for that matter, Tee Martin.

Remember him?), Matt did throw for just under 1,500 yards, and 8 touchdowns to only 5 interceptions. However, how many players has Phil criticized on air in his 17 year broadcasting career? It’s not like Desmond said that Matt Simms hates puppies or something. Howard was just doing his job and giving an opinion. I think Simms should’ve bit his tongue on this one.

2. Rondo Powers Celtics Over Magic

            If Rondo attacks the basket every game the way he did Sunday against Orlando, no team will beat the Celtics in a seven game series. Rondo has been an elite distributor of the basketball, but his reluctance to shoot and draw fouls is at times a hindrance to Boston’s half-court game. Sunday, Rondo barreled into Dwight Howard constantly, and earned nine trips to the free throw line. Orlando has no one who can match up with Rose, and looking across the landscape of the Eastern Conference, only Chicago has a worthy adversary for him in the form of Derrick Rose.

1. Packers Win Super Bowl XLV

            This is a game that I’ll remember more for sloppiness (three Pittsburgh turnovers, approximately 35 dropped passes by Green Bay receivers) than anything else. Rodgers would’ve thrown for 450 yards if wasn’t for all the drops, but he was still spectacular, and a deserving MVP. Green Bay cashed in on every single Steelers mistake, including the back-breaking Mendenhall fumble (if he doesn’t fumble the ball, there was a good chance Pittsburgh scores a touchdown to take a 3-point lead. Instead, Green Bay cashes in to push the lead to 11). If that fumble didn’t occur, we were probably going to see one of the all-time great endings to a Super Bowl. Nevertheless, it was a competitive and entertaining game.

            Looking ahead to next season, there is no reason Green Bay shouldn’t be a powerhouse again. They’ll have Jermichael Finley and Ryan Grant back, and will no longer have the burden of Brett Favre’s shadow hanging over them. I don’t see Chicago winning 12 games ahead, Detroit is still young and on the rise (and therefore probably another year or two away), and Minnesota is still a mess, so expect at least a 12-4 record with a first round bye for the Packers.

            Pittsburgh has a couple of concerns heading into 2011. They need to find some offensive lineman, and hopefully Troy Polamalu returns to perfect health before next season. He looked terribly slow on the last Packers touchdown pass to Greg Jennings.

            Sadly, the last two paragraphs are moot if there is a lockout that interrupts next season. As a degenerate football fan, I hope the two sides realize that there is way too much money at stake to waste a year with no games. Early estimates show that last night’s game was the most watched television program in history, which continues the season long trend of the NFL having record setting television ratings. The sport is as popular as it has ever been. It would be a shame for owners and player to quarrel over money (which both sides have enough of anyway) to interrupt America’s favorite sport.