I'm Not Smart Enough to Appreciate the San Francisco Giants

     I'm on the record calling the 2014 World Series the worst match up in the history of the sport, which is a statement supported by numerous advanced statistics. but perhaps it's time to re-calibrate our expectations of a MLB team. In my youth, the best teams rolled out offensive juggernauts that featured six or seven elite hitters. The juggernaut Yankees teams during their dynasty come to mind first, but we also saw the Indian's teams in the mid-90s (Albert Belle and Manny Ramirez would've been enough to carry a team, but they had five other dudes who could rake too), Seattle when they featured Ken Griffey Jr. and Alex Rodriguez,and lastly the curse breaking Red Sox lineup in 2004. These teams hit the ball hard, and it often went very far.
     San Francisco has Buster Posey, Hunter Pence, and a bunch of other no name hitters, but in today's pitching dominated climate, that doesn't matter. Madison Bumgarner delivered a historic World Series performance that our first reaction is to devalue because of the lack of hitting, but that ultimately isn't fair. We're tired of being a baseball grump. The Giants are the fifth team in MLB history to win three titles in five years, which is remarkable. We still think the '98 Yankees or '04 Red Sox would smash them to smithereens, but we're still tipping our cap to the Giants.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (1/10-1/12)

10. Derek Holland Claims His Dog Tore Cartilage in His Knee
            This is a better story for Holland to put out there then him potentially hurting himself playing pick-up hockey. This is a minor blow for my No Credentials keeper league team, as Holland was in the running to be the last of my 15 keepers for this year’s squad.

9. Nick Saban Hires Lane Kiffin to Run Alabama Offense

            The two college coaches I’ve mocked the most since starting this blog now being affiliated with the same team? I love it. Kiffin has had great success as an offensive coordinator, so with the right parts Alabama could have the best offensive production it has ever had.

8. Duke Loses Again

            Unless Duke loses to a basketball team made up of members from Al-Qaida, we’re always ready to celebrate it.

7. Percy Harvin Catches 3 Passes, Then Gets Concussed
            How much better off would Seattle be if they didn’t ship draft picks to Minnesota for the rights to Harvin, who has been hurt for virtually the entire season? He’s a perfect playmaking receiver to pair with Russell Wilson, so it’s a real shame that he’s spent so little time on the field.

6. Timberwolves Squander Another Oppurtunity to Get Over .500

            Incredibly, Minnesota has lost nine straight times when they’ve had the chance to have more wins than losses this season. It’s a fittingly odd statistic for a strange team.

5. A-Rod Will Take 2014 Off
            That’s the polite way of saying that Alex Rodriguez was able to negotiate his steroids suspension down to 162 games. It’s hard to believe that he can come back in 2015 as an effective player.

4. Beast Mode, Defense Leads Seahawks Over New Orleans

            New Orleans offered little to no resistance to Marshawn Lynch, and Drew Brees was a mess for the majority of the game in rainy Seattle.

3. New England Runs All Over Colts

            LaGarrette Blount played out of his mind Saturday night, racking up four of the Patriots’ six rushing touchdowns.
        
2. 49ers Stifle Panthers, Advance to Third Straight NFC Championship Game
            Kaepernick and company look to be peaking at the perfect time, but they’ll need to win in their house of horrors up in Seattle to advance to a second straight Super Bowl.

1. Broncos Prevent San Diego Comeback

            Denver made plenty of mistakes in this game, but hopefully for their sake they got that out of their system before their epic showdown with the Patriots next week.

MLB Steroids Memories

 

           Yet another steroids scandal got No Credentials thinking (always a dangerous thing)... what are my ten favorite baseball memories? A couple of facts to set the stage before we get to my list.

1. 1995 was my first year as a die-hard sports fan. I was nine years old for 10 months of it.
2. I’ve barely watched baseball over the past five years (fortunately, managing fantasy teams does not require watching real-life games).
3. Pedro Martinez was the man.

          Without further ado…

10. Anaheim Defeats the Giants in “The Steroids Series”

What Happened = San Francisco Choked in Game 6, squandering a 5-0 lead that they carried into the bottom of the seventh inning. Both teams combined to hit 21 home runs in the seven game series (San Francisco hit 14 of them!), with final scores of 11-10 in Game 2 and 16-4 in Game 5.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = If it were ever possible for the answer to this sort of question being 6,000%, this would be time for it. I think Victor Conte was injecting Giants hitters with HGH in the batter’s box. Barry Bonds stat line might have been the peak of his ridiculous steroids run (even surpassing his 73 dinger season), as he put up a .471-4-6- batting line with an OPS of 1.994. Bonds getting robbed of a World Series ring thanks to the Giants bullpen collapse was one of the great karma moments of the 2000’s that we didn’t realize was happening at the time.

Other Memorable Moments = Dusty Baker’s kid almost got run over at home plate (because you know, letting a three year old be the bat boy makes a ton of sense), but was saved by J.T. Snow.

9. Texas Chokes Twice, Giving St. Louis the World Series

What Happened = Ron Washington, higher than a kite on cocaine (just kidding! I think…), used a bunch of weird people to try to close out Game 6 of the 2011 World Series. Naturally, things didn’t work out. St. Louis posted two rallies to tie the game, and went on to take Game 7.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = We’ll go fairly high here, throwing out a number of 65%.

Other Memorable Moments = This is the only time I remember watching a World Series game in the last three years. I just had to use Google to make sure the Giants won last season. 

8. Pedro Delivers a Giant F-U Performance in Tampa Bay

What Happened = Pedro Martinez hit Gerald Williams with his fourth pitch of the night in a late August start in 2000. The following video is what resulted from said hit batter.

            After the dust settled, Martinez went into overdrive, recording 24 consecutive outs before Tampa Bay broke up the no-hit bid with a single in the bottom of the ninth.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = 100%. People don’t get pissed off like that much anymore (unless of course, it involves Zach Greinke), so roid-rage definitely had something to do with it. Also, there is no way Brian Daubach would’ve made it to the Major Leagues without the benefits of performance enhancing drugs.

Other Memorable Moments = It took four attempts (and two pitchers!) by the Devil Rays to finally hit Brian Daubach during his at-bat in the seventh inning.

Forgotten Moniker = Tampa Bay immediately became relevant when they dropped “Devil” from their team name, which is one of the great wins for God of the 2000s.

7. Mark McGwire Hits 50 Home Runs Over the Green Monster in the Home Run Derby

What Happened = Alright, I think he only did it 12 times, but regardless of the quantity, Mark McGwire hit a bunch of fucking baseballs about 500 feet in the Home Run Derby at Fenway Park. Sadly, MLB hasn’t uploaded a video of this event to YouTube yet (couldn’t imagine why), because it was incredible live television. Big Mac didn’t win the Derby, but he was the star of the show.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = Um, you know who Mark McGwire is right? 100%.

Extended Rant = There really isn’t more dated and ignorant television programming from the late-90s and early-00s than the Home Run Derbies. Watching Chris Berman go bonkers as juiceheads like Sosa and McGwire crushed baseballs is retroactively hilarious.

 

6. Josh Beckett Puts the Sox on His Back, J.D. Drew Hits the $13 Million Grand Slam

What Happened = I’m not sure if anyone remembers this, but the Red Sox were down 3 games to 1 in the 2007 ALCS against the Cleveland Indians (this was before Grady Sizemore’s career went off a cliff). Josh Beckett destroyed the Indians in Game 5 (easy to forget that performance the way his career in Boston ended), and then J.D. Drew capped a big first inning in Game 6 with the only quality play he made during his debut season in Boston.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = In the series we’ll have to say 100% (Manny Ramirez was the World Series MVP after all), but with the two guys we mentioned in the headline, I’ll say 10%. J.D. Drew or Beckett didn’t appear to give enough of a shit about baseball to ever put substances in their bodies to improve performance.

Other Memorable Moments = I was playing poker and/or heavily intoxicated during every game of the 2007 ALCS, meaning that the $13 Million Grand Slam and Beckett’s Game 5 are the only things I vividly remember about it.

5. Pedro Martinez Demoralizes Don Zimmer

What Happened = During Game 3 of the 2003 ALCS, Manny Ramirez freaked out about a baseball that was closer to home plate than his face. Chaos ensued, culminating in 146 year-old Don Zimmer going after Pedro Martinez.

 

            All right I lied Zimmer was only 72. Regardless, that’s the high comedy point of the 2003 ALCS.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = 100%, with a hint of Viagra thanks to Zimmer.

Other Memorable Moments = Aaron Boone’s walk-off Game 7 homer (which only happened because Grady Little left Pedro in one inning too long…sigh) was the last stomach punch Red Sox fans took before their epic 2004 title.

Interesting Fact = On the same day as the epic Pedro-Zimmer throw down, I had almost 100 people over my house to celebrate my birthday. That scenario sounds great on paper, but I think only five of the people in attendance knew it was my birthday.

 

4. Mariano Rivera Blows the Save in Game 7 Against Arizona

What Happened = After an epic first six games of the series (remember Derek Jeter earning the nickname Mr. November?), the Hammer of God just needed to get three outs to give the Yankees their fourth straight World Series victory.

            Needless to say, Rivera imploded. A lesser man’s career would’ve gone down the toilet after such a dramatic meltdown. The Hammer of God is not a typical closer.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = 200%. For proof, here’s the statline Luis Gonzalez threw up for the 2001 Arizona Diamondbacks.

BA = .325 (second highest of his career)

HR = 57 (only had one other season where he hit more than 30)
RBI = 142
R = 128
OPS = 1.117 (that’s not a typo)

            Call me a party-pooper, but those numbers are a tad suspicious.

Other Memorable Moments = For my money, the 2001 World Series is the greatest playoff series I’ve ever seen in any professional sport. From Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling (soccer mom) hoisting the Diamondbacks on their backs, to the epic games in New York less than two months after September 11^th, there has never been another series like it since.

Editors Note = I made money off of this series, so my opinion is 100% biased.

 

3. Pedro Martinez Goes Bonkers in the 1999 All-Star Game

What Happened = Pedro nearly throws his right arm off as he strikes out Barry Larkin (Hall of Famer), Larry Walker (fringe Hall candidate, but he was the ’97 NL MVP), Sammy Sosa (Steroids Hall of Famer), Mark McGwire (ditto), and Jeff Bagwell (soon to be Hall of Famer) during the first two innings of the ’99 All Star Game at Fenway Park.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = With Pedro’s opponents, 100%, but as for Pedro himself, I’m saying 0.

2. The Home Run Chase of ‘98

 

What Happened = Reeling from the devastating 1994 strike (that cancelled the World Series, and for all intents and purposes, destroyed the Montreal Expos), Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa dragged MLB back from the depths with their epic pursuit of 61 home runs.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = 800%. McGwire’s whole career was a juiced concoction (he posted a league leading 49 dingers and .987 OPS in his rookie year), and Sosa’s stunning 1998 season was truly remarkable. Sosa was one of the better power-speed combo players of the mid-90s (he posted 30-30 seasons in 1993 and 1995) before morphing into the Dominican version of The Hulk. Here’s the stat line he put up in 1998, with previous career highs in parenthesis.

BA = .308 (.300, 1994)

HR = 66 (40, 1996)
RBI = 158 (119, twice)
OPS = 1.024 (.889, 1996)

1. Boston’s Improbable 2004 World Series Run

What Happened = If you don’t know the story of the 2004 Boston Red Sox, then I don’t understand how you've made it this far into the column.

 

Chances Steroids Were Involved = 8,000%. For grins and giggles, here’s the list of likely juicers from the 2004 ALCS.

Alex Rodriguez

Manny Ramirez
David Ortiz
Mark Bellhorn (remember him?)
Gary Sheffield
Jason Giambi
Andy Pettitte
Dave Roberts (just kidding!)
Bill Mueller (post steroids cycle, his 2003 numbers were ridiculous)

That’s just going from memory. The 2004 Red Sox will probably be the most memorable sports team of my life time, and it wouldn’t of been possible without good old fashioned PEDs.

           

Fantasy Baseball Mock Draft Rounds 4-5

            It’s been a little while since the last installment so if you want a refresher on who got taken already, click here for round 1, and here for rounds 2-3.

4-37 = Elvis Andrus, SS, Texas Rangers

            You’re not going to get any homers, but he’s the safest source of steals the shortstop position has to offer.

4-38 = Zach Greinke, SP, Milwaukee Brewers

            Advanced metrics indicate that Greinke is a fantastic buy-low candidate (if a pick within the fourth or fifth rounds can be considered “buy-low”). Redraft league participants should consider the merits of taking Greinke as your staff ace two rounds later than you would have to take Felix Hernandez.

4-39 = Brett Lawrie, 3B, Toronto Blue Jays

            Lawrie has all the raw tools to succeed, it’s just a matter of if he can live up to the hype or not. In a redraft league, he’s probably not worth the risk of using such a high pick on him.

4-40 = Starlin Castro, SS, Chicago Cubs

            Castro is a hitting machine, and an up tick in the stolen base department could make him a second round pick at this time next year.

4-41 = Stephen Strasburg, SP, Washington Nationals

            The only thing that will keep Strasburg from finishing the season as a top-5 fantasy pitcher will be the Nationals limiting his innings.

4-42 = Dan Haren, SP, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

            Haren is a notorious fast starter/poor finisher (that’s what she said), but the addition of Mr. Pujols should generate an extra win or two or three.

4-43 = Matt Holiday, LF, St. Louis Cardinals

            Those of you worried about Holiday’s ability to anchor the Cardinals lineup should remember that he was the best hitter on a Rockies team that went to the World Series in 2007.

4-44 = Ryan Zimmerman, 3B, Washington Nationals

            I’ve owned Zimmerman twice, and I think he spent a combined 753 games on the DL. He’s a nice player when he’s healthy, but for the life of me I can’t figure out why Washington would pay him $100 million.

4-45 = Carlos Santana, C-1B, Cleveland Indians

            Displaying arguably the most advanced plate approach of any young player in the game last season, Santana is due for a fairly substantial increase from his 2011 batting average, which also has the potential to translate into 30 dingers.

4-46 = Ryan Braun, LF, Milwaukee Brewers

            Keep in mind that at the time I made these picks, Braun was facing a 50 game suspension, and I still had him at 46. It’s a little concerning losing Prince Fielder’s bat behind him, but Braun is too talented to slip out of the top-10. I would take him with the third pick if I had the chance in a redraft league today.

4-47 = David Price, SP, Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays

            If you’re into nerd stats, Price’s 12-13 2011 season was actually better than his 19-6 campaign in 2010. Even in the AL East, Price has the talent to deliver top-5 stats.

4-48 = Alex Rodriguez, 3B, New York Yankees

            I’m not touching A-Rod with a ten-foot pole unless my draft is in the sixth round and I’m still in need of a third baseman, but some idiot is going to draft him earlier than that.

5-49 = Matt Cain, SP, San Francisco Giants

            Boring? Yes. Effective? Yes again. Thank the post-steroids era for making this guy a fifth round pick.

5-50 = Ben Zobrist, 2B-RF, Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays

            Fantasy baseball’s version of a Swiss army knife, Zobrist does a little bit of everything. A great pick at this point in the draft to anchor your middle infield.

5-51 = Paul Konerko, 1B, Chicago White Sox

            One of the few non-steroids aided first basemen to remain effective in his mid-30s, Konerko is the man to target if you miss out on the big time first basemen in the first two rounds.

5-52 = Jon Lester, SP, Boston Red Sox

            I’ll let the “experts” at ESPN fill this space. Here is what they have to say about Lester saying he wants to right the wrongs of 2011 and have a great 2012.

Lester was the first involved party to come clean about the aforementioned fried chicken and beer controversy and was very contrite, and implied he would make good in 2012. Normally, this can be brushed off as player-speak, but when the player is a cancer survivor, the words have more credibility.

            Uh, okay.

5-53 = Michael Young, 1B-2B-3B, Texas Rangers
            One of baseball’s most underrated hitters, Young’s position flexibility makes him a valuable asset for any fantasy team.

5-54 = Yovani Gallardo, SP, Milwaukee Brewers

            The second Brewers pitcher taken in our mock that nerd stats indicate is a breakout candidate. Gallardo’s price tag is even cheaper than Greinke’s, which makes him a potential championship-swinging player in redraft leagues. At 26, Gallardo is poised to have a Cy Young caliber season.

5-55 = Chase Utley, 2B, Philadelphia Phillies

            Age is catching up to him, but his place in the middle of the Phillies lineup still makes him one of the best options at second base.

5-56 = Mike Napoli, C-1B, Texas Rangers

            Don’t bank on Napoli batting over .300 again (his .344 BABIP in 2011 is completely unsustainable), but even if he drops to .250 his increased at-bats could lead to 35+ dingers. It’s hard to argue with anyone who would make him the first catcher off the board.

5-57 = Dan Uggla, 2B, Atlanta Braves

            The batting average can be scary, and he’s prone to prolonged slumps, but there isn’t a better source of home runs from a second baseman not named Robinson Cano in baseball.

5-58 = Brandon Phillips, 2B, Cincinnati Reds

            Brandon Phillips is like the Matt Cain of second baseman. He’s not sexy, but he gets the job done.

5-59 = Eric Hosmer, 1B, Kansas City Royals

            The day that Eric Hosmer improves his fly ball rate will be the day that Eric Hosmer rules the universe. Like Brett Lawrie, Hosmer’s a risky proposition in redraft leagues with this high of a pick.

5-60 = James Shields, SP, Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays

            Shields was No Credentials favorite pitcher who most likely went after round 20 in fantasy drafts in 2011. He was on both of my fantasy teams last season, and delivered a pretty good Roy Halladay impression. Many skeptics believe that 2011 was a fluke, but nerd stats back up the case that Shields is capable of having another solid campaign in 2012. He’s going as late as the eighth round in some leagues, which is absolutely absurd. Go move Shields up your draft cheat sheet as soon as you close this browser.

2011 Fantasy Baseball Mock Draft, Round 2

Here is the 2nd round of my 2011 Fantasy Baseball Mock Draft. Keep in mind that the goal here is to put together twelve 25-man teams (if you missed the first round, check out the most recent Sunday Draft).

2-13 = Chase Utley, 2B, Phillies – I would sign off on Utley from anywhere from pick 6 due to the position he plays. With this pick and David Wright at the end of round 1, team 12 would fill two of weaker spots on a fantasy roster with two excellent players.

2-14 = Alex Rodriguez, 3B, Yankees – Sure he’s getting older, but he will still be hitting clean up in the middle of a powerful Yankees lineup. I would’ve had him in the early 3^rd, but getting fed popcorn by an A-List actress during the Super Bowl bumped his draft stock up. He joins Ryan Braun on Team 11.

2-15 = Prince Fielder, 1B, Brewers – Similar to Pujols, I love the fact that Fielder is playing for a new contract. Unlike Pujols, Fielder’s hefty size (and rumored lack of ambition) would make me a little worried about using a pick this high on him. The first boom-or-bust player we’ve selected in the mock, Fielder joins Carl Crawford on Team 10.

2-16 = Mark Teixeira, 1B, Yankees – A safer pick than Fielder, but doesn’t have the same upside. I wouldn't complain about getting a guy who is a good bet to hit 35 homers with 120 RBIs at this point in the draft. He joins Roy Halladay on Team 9.

2-17 = Carlos Gonzalez, OF-LF-CF-RF, Rockies – Gonzalez was a monster last year. He hit .336 with 34 homers, 117 RBIs, and even through in 26 stolen bases for good measure. Production like that warrants a top-5 pick. So why do I have him this low?

            Gonzalez had a .384 BABIP average (BABIP stands for batting average on balls in play), which was the 3^rd highest in the league. Furthermore, 20.4% of his fly balls (a little over one for every five, for those of you that are slow in the math department) went for home runs. Both of those numbers will be very difficult to maintain. Throw a reduction in those two categories with his very poor strikeout to walk ratio (135-40 last season), and you are looking at a guy who could be a lot less valuable in 2011 than he was in 2010. Would I fault anyone for taking a chance on him in the middle of the first round? No, but you won’t see me making that pick for either of my two teams this season.

            Gonzalez joins Joey Votto on Team 8.

2-18 = Josh Hamilton, OF-LF-CF, Rangers – Hamilton is similar to Gonzalez, but with the added risk of injury thrown in. He led the league last year in BABIP at .391. His plate discipline is a little better than Gonzalez, so his average shouldn’t fall much lower than .280. If you were to pick Hamilton at this point, and he were to stay healthy, there’s a good chance you could win your league. Hamilton joins Adrian Gonzalez on Team 7.

2-19 = Ryan Howard, 1B, Phillies – A regression in home runs last season means you will probably get Howard 7 or 8 picks later than you could’ve in 2010. He joins Evan Longoria on Team 6.

2-10 = Felix Hernandez, SP, Mariners – The only reason Hernandez wouldn’t go as high as Halladay is the disparity between the quality of the Phillies and Mariners. Hernandez joins Hanley Ramirez on Team 5.

2-21 = Ryan Zimmerman, 3B, Nationals – Washington may have paid Jayson Werth way too much money, but in terms of Ryan Zimmerman’s fantasy value, he should be invaluable. Zimmerman finally has someone else on his team the opposing pitcher will have to worry about. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Zimmerman put up 30 homers and 110 RBIs. He joins Troy Tulowitzki on Team 4.

2-22 = Matt Kemp, CF, Dodgers – Remember the discussion about Carlos Gonzalez earlier? Matt Kemp’s production the past two seasons is a perfect exhibit A for the case I was making for not using a high pick on Gonzalez.

            After putting up 26 homers, 101 RBIs, and 34 stolen bases (along with a .297 batting average) in 2009, Kemp was going anywhere from 4^th through the 8^th pick in the first round last season in fantasy drafts. Kemp rewarded owners with a disappointing .249 batting average. The only category of importance that went up was home runs (he hit 28), but he had less RBIs and stolen bases (89 and 19), and was even benched for a few games by then manager Joe Torre. One telling stat that could’ve predicted Kemp’s 2010 struggles was his terrible strikeout to walk ratio. In 2009, he struck out 139 times to only 52 walks. In 2010, his strikeouts jumped up to 170 with only 53 walks.

            With all that said, why would Kemp be this high then? The answer is simple…because of the same reason Carlos Gonzalez and Josh Hamilton were both picked a few spots earlier. Sure there is plenty of risk involved with these players, but if they play to their potential, you are getting guys that could end up being ranked in the top 5 at seasons end. The back half of the 2^nd round is the appropriate time to take these sorts of risks (as opposed to say, the middle of the 1^st). Kemp joins Robinson Cano on Team 3.

2-23 = Adam Wainwright, SP, Cardinals – The best pitcher in the majors that no one ever talks about. Wainwright teams up with Miguel Cabrera on Team 2.

2-24 = Dustin Pedroia, 2B, Red Sox – No matter where Pedroia hits in the Red Sox lineup (I’m hoping for second, although there are rumors he will be put in the leadoff spot), he has a chance for a .320-15-90-125-20 season. He joins Pujols on Team 1. 

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (2/4-2/6)

10. Russian Hockey League Claims Hardest Shot Record Broken

            According to the KHL (the main Russian hockey league), Russian defenseman Denis Kulyash fired a slap shot 110.3 mph. Faithful readers of this column (all eight of you) may recall that Zdeno Chara of the Boston Bruins set a new record with a slap shot that went 105.9 mph. Kulyash is a former 8^th round pick of the Nashville Predators who never appeared in a NHL game. He’s also about 6 inches shorter than Chara. I’m not going to say that I don’t believe the KHL, but…well ya, I don’t believe them. At all. Nice publicity stunt though fellas.

9. David Stern Adds Kevin Love to NBA All-Star Team

            I had faith that David Stern wouldn’t screw this up, and he delivered. Stern tapped Love to replace Yao Ming, who despite his season ending injuries, was voted into the All-Star Game by 2 million Chinese people. Love has been a revelation this season, even despite being on one of the worst teams in the league. A guy who averages 20 and 15 needs to be in the All-Star Game.

8. Arsenal Blows Four Goal Lead, Settles For Draw at Newcastle

            It’s not very often you’ll see soccer in this space (come back in three years during the next World Cup if soccer is your thing), but a team blowing a four-goal lead is the equivalent of the Eagle’s comeback against the New York Giants last December.

7. Cameron Diaz Caught on Camera Feeding Popcorn to Alex Rodriguez at Super Bowl

            This was the funniest moment of Super Bowl XLV. It only would’ve been topped if instead of feeding A-Rod popcorn, Diaz were caught injecting Rodriguez with HGH.

6. NFL Owners Meet With Players Union

            No word if progress was made, but at least the two sides are talking. These two sides better figure this crap out, because this column is going to die next fall when I’m forced to write about the Chase for the Sprint Cup every four days (I think I just vomited in my mouth a little bit).

5. Deion Sanders, Marshall Faulk, Shannon Sharpe, and Richard Dent Elected to NFL Hall of Fame

            Cris Carter should’ve been included with this group, but wide receivers usually have to wait a few turns before they get elected. I was a little bummed that Curtis Martin didn’t make it either, but his rushing totals will put him in eventually. Richard Dent should’ve been in years ago, so it was nice to see him enter the Hall.

            As for the other three guys, these were all players that I remember trading for to stack my Madden team when I was about 12 or 13 years old (in other words, I feel old). Shannon Sharpe sounds like a moron on CBS, but we can’t forget some of the memorable comments he made during his playing career (CALL IN THE NATIONAL GUARD…WE ARE KILLING THE PATRIOTS!). Faulk was the perfect runningback for “The Greatest Show on Turf”. Deion Sanders was a dynamic player who brought flashiness and star-power to the defensive side of the ball.

4. Anderson Silva Kicks Vitor Belfort in the Face

            UFC got lost in all of the Super Bowl hoopla a little bit (note to Dana White: let’s not schedule any fights on the weekend of the Super Bowl. There’s you know, 51 other weekends you can choose), but the sheer awesomeness of Silva’s foot nailing Belfort’s chin can not be underestimated. Silva is a monster.

3. Phil Simms Threatens to Punch Desmond Howard

            According to eyewitness accounts, Simms was pissed off that Howard made a comment about Simms’ son Matt (who is a quarterback at the University of Tennessee) being one of the three worst quarterbacks in the SEC during an ESPN pre-game show last season. Simms called Howard “a hack broadcaster” and threatened to fight him.

According to his Twitter page, Howard replied, “Let’s go!” Both men needed to be separated by police.

This is a tough one from a moral perspective. Simms was stepping up to defend his son, who while not the next Peyton Manning (or for that matter, Tee Martin.

Remember him?), Matt did throw for just under 1,500 yards, and 8 touchdowns to only 5 interceptions. However, how many players has Phil criticized on air in his 17 year broadcasting career? It’s not like Desmond said that Matt Simms hates puppies or something. Howard was just doing his job and giving an opinion. I think Simms should’ve bit his tongue on this one.

2. Rondo Powers Celtics Over Magic

            If Rondo attacks the basket every game the way he did Sunday against Orlando, no team will beat the Celtics in a seven game series. Rondo has been an elite distributor of the basketball, but his reluctance to shoot and draw fouls is at times a hindrance to Boston’s half-court game. Sunday, Rondo barreled into Dwight Howard constantly, and earned nine trips to the free throw line. Orlando has no one who can match up with Rose, and looking across the landscape of the Eastern Conference, only Chicago has a worthy adversary for him in the form of Derrick Rose.

1. Packers Win Super Bowl XLV

            This is a game that I’ll remember more for sloppiness (three Pittsburgh turnovers, approximately 35 dropped passes by Green Bay receivers) than anything else. Rodgers would’ve thrown for 450 yards if wasn’t for all the drops, but he was still spectacular, and a deserving MVP. Green Bay cashed in on every single Steelers mistake, including the back-breaking Mendenhall fumble (if he doesn’t fumble the ball, there was a good chance Pittsburgh scores a touchdown to take a 3-point lead. Instead, Green Bay cashes in to push the lead to 11). If that fumble didn’t occur, we were probably going to see one of the all-time great endings to a Super Bowl. Nevertheless, it was a competitive and entertaining game.

            Looking ahead to next season, there is no reason Green Bay shouldn’t be a powerhouse again. They’ll have Jermichael Finley and Ryan Grant back, and will no longer have the burden of Brett Favre’s shadow hanging over them. I don’t see Chicago winning 12 games ahead, Detroit is still young and on the rise (and therefore probably another year or two away), and Minnesota is still a mess, so expect at least a 12-4 record with a first round bye for the Packers.

            Pittsburgh has a couple of concerns heading into 2011. They need to find some offensive lineman, and hopefully Troy Polamalu returns to perfect health before next season. He looked terribly slow on the last Packers touchdown pass to Greg Jennings.

            Sadly, the last two paragraphs are moot if there is a lockout that interrupts next season. As a degenerate football fan, I hope the two sides realize that there is way too much money at stake to waste a year with no games. Early estimates show that last night’s game was the most watched television program in history, which continues the season long trend of the NFL having record setting television ratings. The sport is as popular as it has ever been. It would be a shame for owners and player to quarrel over money (which both sides have enough of anyway) to interrupt America’s favorite sport.