I'm Not Smart Enough to Appreciate the San Francisco Giants

     I'm on the record calling the 2014 World Series the worst match up in the history of the sport, which is a statement supported by numerous advanced statistics. but perhaps it's time to re-calibrate our expectations of a MLB team. In my youth, the best teams rolled out offensive juggernauts that featured six or seven elite hitters. The juggernaut Yankees teams during their dynasty come to mind first, but we also saw the Indian's teams in the mid-90s (Albert Belle and Manny Ramirez would've been enough to carry a team, but they had five other dudes who could rake too), Seattle when they featured Ken Griffey Jr. and Alex Rodriguez,and lastly the curse breaking Red Sox lineup in 2004. These teams hit the ball hard, and it often went very far.
     San Francisco has Buster Posey, Hunter Pence, and a bunch of other no name hitters, but in today's pitching dominated climate, that doesn't matter. Madison Bumgarner delivered a historic World Series performance that our first reaction is to devalue because of the lack of hitting, but that ultimately isn't fair. We're tired of being a baseball grump. The Giants are the fifth team in MLB history to win three titles in five years, which is remarkable. We still think the '98 Yankees or '04 Red Sox would smash them to smithereens, but we're still tipping our cap to the Giants.

Overcooked MLB Preview

            Some of you asked if I was going to write about real baseball this year, and I’m proud to say that I did. Unfortunately, I forgot to post this Sunday afternoon, so you’re getting it two days later than it was originally intended to be released. Based on my March Madness performance, it’s probably for the better, as I wouldn’t want anyone making bets on any advice I have to offer at the moment. Without further ado, we run through each division, with some playoff predictions at the end.

 



NL West

5. Colorado Rockies

            The pitching is abysmal, and we predict by June that whispers of Troy Tulowitzki ending up in pinstripes become shouts.

4. San Diego Padres
            Almost the exact opposite of Colorado, San Diego has the proud distinction of providing the most inept offense in the National League. A Chase Headley bounce-back campaign is their only hope.

3. Arizona Diamondbacks

            If they were willing to pay the price for David Price, we’d consider bumping this team up to the top spot in the NL West. Without him, their rotation is a bit of a mess until Archie Bradley reaches the Major Leagues.

2. San Francisco Giants

            The 2012 World Series champs had a down 2013 for a variety of reasons, but if half of those issues correct themselves, they should be looking at a Wild Card spot.

1. Los Angeles Dodgers

            They have the best starting pitcher (Clayton Kershaw), arguably the best shortstop (Hanley Ramirez), and MLB’s best chance of Manny Ramirez 2.0 (Yaisel Puig). Not to mention that they are owned by crazy people who will do whatever it takes at the trade deadline to improve the team. There’s always a chance of an October flameout, but in the regular season the Dodgers are the best bet to rack up the most wins in MLB.

AL West

5. Houston Astros

            Are the Astros the Philadelphia 76ers of MLB, or vice versa? Regardless, some of Houston’s top prospects will be hitting the bigs soon. There’s a chance they won’t be horrendous in 2016.

4. Oakland Athletics

            Oakland always squeezes more production out of it’s players than any other team, but season ending injuries to a couple prominent members of their starting rotation will set them back.

3. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

            I think Pujols comes back to near All-Star form, and Mike Trout is ridiculous, but until Los Angeles corrects their pitching issues, they won’t hang with Texas.

2. Seattle Mariners

            Either we’re over eager about Seattle because of their abundance of young starting pitching behind Felix Hernandez, or because Robinson Cano has been one of the team captains of my No Credentials Fantasy Baseball team for three years. Regardless, there’s a chance that Cano stabilizes an offense full of talented players who haven’t delivered yet.

1. Texas Rangers

            We’re bummed out about Jurickson Profar missing the first three months of the year, but there’s still a ridiculous amount of depth offensively. Prince Fielder will return to previous form playing his home games in Arlington, and Adrian Beltre is arguably the most under appreciated great player in the game. They’ll need to acquire another starting pitcher before the deadline to be a true threat in the playoffs, but there’s enough here for them to win the AL West.

NL Central

5. Chicago Cubs

            We’re about a year away from seeing the benefits of Theo Epstein’s rebuild, but at least Chicago should have the most exciting mid-season call-up in the form of Javier Baez. 

4. Milwaukee Brewers

            Milwaukee could win anywhere between 65 and 95 games and I wouldn’t be completely surprised. As we’ve written before, Ryan Braun is a complete asshole who won’t care about getting booed everywhere he goes. He should return to near MVP-level form. It’s the question marks in the starting pitching staff (in particular, presumed ace Yovani Gallardo, who imploded last year) that make us lukewarm on them surpassing any of the other three playoff teams in their division from a year ago.

3. Pittsburgh Pirates

            The Pirates were a blast last year, even getting contributions from a pitcher who grew up right in No Credentials home turf. It would’ve been great to see them go all-in and acquire another power bat, but it appears they are just hoping for another step forward from Pedro Alvarez. They’ll still be competitive, but we see them just missing the Wildcard game.

2. St. Louis Cardinals

            Are the San Antonio Spurs the St. Louis Cardinals of the NBA, or vice versa? They’re incredible pitching depth will have them in the hunt as always come October.

1. Cincinnati Reds

            Forgetting his forgettable 0-4, four strikeouts performance on opening day, we think Billy Hamilton is the key to the Reds overtaking St. Louis in the NL Central. His transformational speed is enough of a difference maker to make an already potent Reds lineup all the more lethal.

AL Central

5. Minnesota Twins

            Hard not to think that Joe Mauer’s move away from catcher is about three or four years too late.

4. Chicago White Sox

            There are not a lot of interesting players here, but at least Jose Abreu should be fun to watch.

3. Cleveland Indians

            Last year’s most surprising AL playoff participant, Cleveland likely needs Carlos Santana to have a career year in order to put them over the hump.

2. Kansas City Royals

            For the first time in a while Kansas City actually has some depth in their starting rotation. Mike Moustakas fulfilling his post-hype sleeper status alongside former top prospect Eric Hosmer is needed for the Royals to have any chance of knocking off Detroit.

1. Detroit Tigers

            They have the best pure power hitter in baseball and the deepest starting rotation in the American League. Throw in some better clubhouse chemistry now that Prince Fielder is in Texas, and you have yourself the favorites to represent the American League in the World Series.

NL East

5. Miami Marlins

            At what point do the Marlins pull the trigger on a Giancarlo Stanton trade? He’s the best tool they have to completely reload their farm system.

4. New York Mets

            Matt Harvey’s injury really is a bummer. New York might’ve actually had a chance to at least be in shouting distance of a wildcard spot if their young ace was healthy.

3. Atlanta Braves

            No team was ravaged more by injuries during spring training than Atlanta. They are one of the few teams that have the depth to deal with losing 40% of their starting rotation (that’s a fancy way of saying they lost two starting pitchers), but we think that puts them a step behind in the NL East.

2. Philadelphia Phillies

            Remember the 2009-10 Phoenix Suns, who made a semi-improbable run to the Western Conference Finals a few seasons after it looked like the Nash Era would never contend for a NBA title again? That’s the kind of year I’m predicting for Philly.

1. Washington Nationals

            A full year of solid health for Bryce Harper (who was fortunate not to get a concussion after getting kicked in the head on opening day) is what we are predicting, as well as a serious run at the NL MVP award. If the offense improves their scoring output by one run per game over last year, their pitching will take care of the rest.

AL East

5. New York Yankees

            The infield is atrocious, there are no sure things in the starting rotation (Sabathia is washed up, Kuroda is a nerd stats regression candidate, and while we like Tanaka, we aren’t ready to bet the farm on him), and even more frightening, they don’t have THE HAMMER OF GOD anymore. Throw in the fact that they will be lucky to get 240 combined games out of Jacoby Ellsbury and Carlos Beltran, and this has all the makings of a season similar to what the Red Sox endured in 2012.At least for their sake, Bobby Valentine isn’t the manager.

4. Baltimore Orioles

            For my money, no team whiffed more in the off-season than the Baltimore Orioles. The offense is dynamite (and the Nelson Cruz signing at least paid dividends on opening day), but if there was one team that needed to through an obscure amount of cash at Tanaka, it was Baltimore. Ubaldo Jimenez is not enough for the Orioles to get into playoff contention.

3. Boston Red Sox

            Coming off a year where just about everything went right, it would make sense that a market correction will occur. We are hopeful that Grady Sizemore (one of the franchise players on one of my all-time favorite fantasy baseball teams I owned in 2008) makes a serious run at Comeback Player of the Year.

2. Toronto Blue Jays

            Think of this prediction as the opposite of what I just said about Boston. Virtually everything went wrong for Toronto last year, and while they didn’t get off to a great start against Tampa Bay, we still think the Blue Jays have the manpower to at least finish second in the AL East.

1. Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays

            On paper, this is the best (Devil) Rays team of the Joe Maddon era. There’s so much pitching depth throughout the organization, they could trade David Price and still not miss a beat. Wil Myers will form a dynamic duo with Evan Longoria in his sophomore campaign, giving the offense a much-needed boost. Barring a significant injury to Longoria (which could happen), this is the team to beat in the AL East.

(Probably Terrible) Playoff Predictions

NL West = Dodgers

NL Central = Reds
NL East = Nationals
NL Wildcard 1 = Cardinals
NL Wildcard 2 = Giants

AL Central = Tigers

AL East = (Devil) Rays
AL West = Rangers
AL Wildcard 1 = Mariners
AL Wildcard 2 = Royals

NLCS = Reds over Cardinals

ALCS = Tigers over Rays

World Series = Reds over Tigers

 

 

 

No Credentials Summer Recap

            I wish I had a better excuse as to why No Credentials has been less active over the pass six months, but really it boils down to two things.

1.      I was without Playstation 3 for five months.

      2.      I bought a new one, and play a game of my Madden franchise when before I would be writing blog posts.

To make up for our lack of production, we’ll take a quick peak at stories I briefly thought about tackling before deciding playing another game with my son at quarterback of the Kansas City Chiefs was more exciting.

MLB

Ryan Braun Surrenders

            There’s no other word for it, as Braun defiantly took on MLB for almost two years before essentially accepting a plea deal. One wonders if Braun backed down partially because his team is terrible, and he’s been nursing a sore thumb the past two months that hasn’t improved. He’ll come back with no marketability in 2014, but he will be healthy, and quite possibly a top-10 fantasy asset next season.

Mariano Rivera Wins the All-Star Game MVP

            Evidently, a scoreless eighth is more valuable than a scoreless ninth. This game was further proof of why an All-Star Game should have nothing to do with determining home-field advantage for it’s championship series.

The Yankees Stink

            That statement is a little strong in realistic terms (they are over .500, and would gave a one game lead in the NL West), but compared to the usual excellence produced by the Yankees, it’s an accurate one. The offense is abysmal, only generating 125 less runs this season than the Red Sox have. C.C. Sabathia looks to be in desperate need of a switch the National League, and Alex Rodriguez still hangs over the club like a black cloud. While not supporters of the Bronx Bombers, we here at No Credentials are always fans of roster building, so here’s our on the fly, not well thought out fix for the New York Yankees that they can begin implementing before the trade deadline.

1. Give up on the 2013 season – It would be one thing if they were just seven games behind the Red Sox, but they also trail Tampa Bay and Baltimore (by 6.5 and 4 games). The Rangers and Indians are also ahead of them in the Wild Card standings.
2. Trade Robinson Cano – By all accounts, it appears Cano is going to ask for eleventy billion dollars this winter. If George Steinbrenner were still alive, he would never make it to free agency, but unfortunately for Yankees’ fans his kids aren’t as willing to open up the checkbook. Rather than let him walk in free agency (and only soak up draft picks), they should try to push for a blockbuster trade now. Where could he go you ask? My money if he hits free agency is the Washington Nationals, but you could never count out the Detroit Tigers from making an aggressive trade.      
3. Blackmail Mariano Rivera into returning for the 2014 season – Sure it would be awkward after all of the retirement gifts Rivera has been getting all season (my all-time favorite “retiring” person that ended up not retiring was Mark Martin, who swore up and down 2005 would be his last season, only to return in 2006. He’s still racing a part-time schedule today) if he came back next season, but who cares. I think he could throw that ridiculous cutter until he was 65 years old.
4. Frame A-Rod, Sabathia, and Teixeira for a bank robbery – These guys are earning $75 million (!) combined this season, so coming up with some clever scheme to void their contracts would be advantageous.

NFL

Von Miller Potentially Facing a 4-Game Suspension

            It’s a good thing Miller plays a sport where it’s fans don’t give a shit about statistics, because he will not come back with the same stigma as Ryan Braun.

NBA

The Dwightmare Ends…Howard Chooses Houston

            If I weren’t so addicted to playing my Madden franchise I would’ve dropped a 4,000-word piece about Howard shortly after he joined the Rockets, but you’re going to have to settle for bullet points.

-         Shaq was wrong when he accused Howard of not being able to play in a big city. For one, Dwight was working on a way to weasel his way onto the Clippers to play with his buddy Chris Paul. The last time I checked, the Clippers still play in Los Angeles. Howard leaving the Lakers had more to do with him not wanting to put up with Kobe Bryant than him not being able to handle L.A.

-         Of all the teams that were trying to land Howard, the Rockets were the best fit for him. With Howard in the fold, they are fielding a more athletic version of the Orlando team Dwight carried to the 2009 NBA Finals. Even better for the Rockets, they still have a valuable trade asset in Omer Asik that can be used to improve the roster. You can’t make Houston the clear favorites in the ultra-competitive Western Conference, but they’ll have a reasonable chance at playing for a championship the next two or three years.

-         The Lakers are going to suck balls. It would make tons of sense for them to tank the season like the Celtics are going to do (more on that in the next bullet point), but instead, they’ll field a mediocre team based around a physically limited Kobe Bryant. Pau Gasol should be better utilized, but that won’t be enough for them to be better than .500.

Danny Ainge Blows Up the Celtics

            Is it going to suck watching Paul Pierce (a Celtic since 1997) and Kevin Garnett (the catalyst for the 2008 championship winning team) play for the Nets? Yes. Is it going to suck to watch Doc Rivers coach the Clippers? Yes. The “Ubuntu” Era was responsible for the rebirth of Celtic pride in the northeast, but it was wise to turn the page on this group of players. When you have the chance to land one of five potential franchise players in next year’s draft, the most logical thing to do is to suck as much as humanly possible and improve your lottery chances. The team implosion will be complete if they are able to showcase Rajon Rondo for a 10-game tryout after he returns from injury and then ship him off to a contending (hopefully with Gerald Wallace’s horrendous contract, but that’s probably wishful thinking).

NHL

Bruins Give Up On Seguin

            Because you know, any time you can prematurely give up on a 21-year old phenom, you have to do it. This deal will hurt when Tyler Seguin wins a Hart Trophy in Dallas.

NASCAR

Jimmie Johnson is Better at NASCAR Than Any Other Athlete is at any Other Sport Right Now

            It hasn’t been fair this season. If not for some bad luck with pit stops and restarts, Johnson could very well have eight wins right now. Unless Joe Gibbs Racing finds some durability with their Toyota engines, the Chase for the Cup could be over in eight races.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (4/6-4/8)

10. Isaiah Thomas Gets Fired…Again
            Isaiah Thomas is rockstar. He actually had the stones to come out and say that getting fired from Florida International University was the first time he had been canned for “basketball reasons”.

9. Kanye West Seen Canoodling With Kim Kardashian

            If these two procreate, I’m moving to Uranus.

8. Steven Stamkos Reaches 60 Goals

7. Lionel Messi Reaches 60 Goals
            Both feats are impressive, but Messi achieving something that hadn’t been done in 39 years earns him one spot higher on this weeks list over Stamkos.

6. Milwaukee Bucks Beat Lowly Bobcats By 5

            Loyal readers may recognize this item as “The Weekly Shameless Plug of the Team No Credentials Picked in the Sportsbook Survivor Pool This Past Weekend”.

5. Carmelo Anthony Drops 43, Leads Knicks to Victory Over Bulls

            Sure the Knicks were at home playing against a team led by a very rusty Derrick Rose, but did anyone in the NBA need to have this kind of game more than Carmelo Anthony? Me think not.

4. Boston College Wins NCAA Hockey Title

            I would’ve ranked this higher, but BC beat some school named Ferris St. in the championship game, which is a college that I would need at least five guesses to figure out which state it is located in.

3. (Devil) Rays Rally Against the Hammer of God, Eventually Sweep Yankees

            I’d be more excited about New York’s 0-3 start, but the last time they lost their first three games they went on to win 114 games in 1998.

2. Red Sox Blow Two Saves in One Game, Get Swept By Tigers

            We are only in the first week of the season, but No Credentials is feeling pretty confident with its third place finish prediction for Boston.

1. Bubba Watson Wins 2012 Masters on Second Playoff Hole

            Despite no Tiger Woods, and a pedestrian performance by Phil Mickelson, this year’s Masters will be memorable thanks to Bubba Watson’s incredible second shot at 10 during the playoff. That shot would be hard to pull off in a video game, much less during a playoff hole in the biggest golf tournament on Earth.  

Half-Baked MLB Preview

            After watching parts of a dominating performance by Kyle Lohse (Kyle f***ing Lohse!), I feel pretty stupid about producing two pages worth of a Word document on a sport that almost puts me into a deep coma. Despite this questioning of my self-worth, here’s No Credentials predicted order of finish for each division in MLB.

NL West

1. Arizona Diamondbacks
2. San Francisco Giants
3. Colorado Rockies
4. Los Angeles Dodgers
5. San Diego Padres

If you were allowed to put the Giants pitching staff with the Rockies offense, you’d have a super team. Unfortunately, that’s not allowed, so we’re stuck with picking the most well rounded team in the division to win the NL West. Arizona has the most underrated starting rotation in the NL, and a deep bullpen to support it. A monster campaign from Justin Upton (think .290-35-115-110-25) puts Arizona into the 95-win zone.

AL West

1. Texas Rangers
2. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
3. Oakland Athletics
4. Seattle Mariners

It doesn’t really matter if you put Texas or the Angels first or second in this division. With each team getting 36 chances to beat the living snot out of the Mariners and Athletics, both of these teams will be making the playoffs.

NL Central

1. Cincinnati Reds
2. Milwaukee Brewers
3. St. Louis Cardinals
4. Chicago Cubs
5. Pittsburgh Pirates
6. Houston Astros

          The toughest division for No Credentials to pick, we ended up going with the club that lost the least during the off-season. I have a hard time believing it will be business as usual in St. Louis without Albert Pujols, and Milwaukee faces a similar issue without Prince Fielder.

AL Central

1. Detroit Tigers
2. Cleveland Indians
3. Minnesota Twins
4. Kansas City Royals
5. Chicago White Sox

I tried to talk myself into picking Cleveland to win the division, but can’t do it. Even if Detroit’s infield is leakier than the Titanic, the Tigers should win the division by 10 games or more.

NL East

1. Philadelphia Phillies
2. Washington Nationals
3. Atlanta Braves
4. Miami Marlins
5. New York Mets

         This is the most competitive division in MLB. You could make a strong case for any of the top four clubs to win the division. Philadelphia’s three-headed monster at the top of their rotation still gives them the edge in No Credentials book, but their aging offense is becoming more of an Achilles heal.

AL East

1. Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays
2. New York Yankees
3. Boston Red Sox
4. Toronto Blue Jays
5. Baltimore Orioles

          New York is getting long in the tooth (other than Robinson Cano), and doesn’t have a reliable starter other than C.C. Sabathia. Boston will need to get a borderline historically dominant season from their offense (a possibility. If Boston makes the playoffs, it will be because Adrian Gonzalez is the AL MVP) to overcome the issues they will have with their bullpen (TANGENT ALERT: I hate the placement of Daniel Bard in the starting rotation. They essentially traded one of the best setup men of the past two seasons who has the stuff to close games for a guy who had an ERA over 6.00 the last time he was a regular starter, and that was in Single-A ball in 2007). Tampa Bay has the most pitching depth (minors included) of any club in baseball. Evan Longoria is due for a hammer-of-God season (he was plagued last season by a insanely unlucky BABIP), and the emergence of Desmond Jennings should fill in what they lost when Carl Crawford left for Boston (remember folks, Carl Crawford used to be good once upon a time). This is why No Credentials is cursing the Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays by picking them to win the AL East.

Randomly Awesome Video Game Teams

            After mentioning some video game teams in my NHL Eastern Conference Finals preview, that got me thinking about which were the most exciting video game teams of all time. For the purpose of this exercise, I’m going with just the base rosters for each game mentioned (except when I talk about a created player I liked to add to the Boston Bruins). The teams aren’t ranked in order.

            Most of the clubs listed have at least one of two traits. Almost all of them had at least one transcendent talent that could single-handedly win you a game (the 1994 Expos are the only exception). Almost all of these teams were much more potent in the virtual world as opposed to real life (the only exception being the 2006 Colts, which are the only team mentioned on this list that won a championship in real life).

            Feel free to write in the comments section teams that I have left out. I’ve played quite a few sports games over the years, but certainly haven’t played them all. Now on to the list…

 

1988 Los Angeles Raiders (TECMO Bowl) – Bo Jackson was so overwhelming in this game, he was the most dominant force in the game even though there was only one play you could call for him. For video proof, check out this TECMO Bowl highlight where Bo Jackson runs 99 yards and kills the entire 1^st quarter (for those that didn’t play this game, he’s the dude running with the flashing “1” over his head). 

 

1999-2004 Minnesota Vikings (Madden 2000-2005) – There will never be a more dominant video game wide receiver than Randy Moss during this time span (he wasn’t too shabby in real life in this era either. If you forgot, watch this). The Vikings always had plenty of weapons around him that made them much more effective on Playstation than in real life. Robert Smith and Cris Carter were there the first two years, but things went to another level with the arrival of Daunte Culpepper and Michael Bennett. Culpepper was a huge dude with a cannon arm that could also run (in other words, he was the kind of guy you would create to play quarterback), and Bennett was between a 96 and a 98 in speed. Bennett was the classic guy who’s speed made him a much better Madden player than a real life one (former Broncos runningback Tatum Bell was another famous one). Minnesota was a juggernaut for online play.  

2002-03 Boston Bruins (NHL 03) – This Bruins club was based on the season after they earned the top seed in the east, but ended up choking against the Canadians in the first round. Anchored by Joe Thornton, this team had a fleet of goal scorers in Glen Murray, Sergei Samsonov, Brian Rolston, and Mike Knuble. Things were even better offensively when 18-year old super phenom Cam Muir was added to the mix. Muir’s ability to skate in circles around the net almost resulted in my friend Ethan punching my television on several occasions. Muir’s exploits on the ice were almost as prolific as his efforts on the gridiron playing quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. Someday, his multi-sport efforts will be recognized (oh wait, they all happened in video games…nevermind). 

 

1994 Montreal Expos (TECMO Super Baseball) – If the 1994 strike had never happened, there would still be a baseball team in Montreal. They were selling home games out every night while turning every game into a track meet. This was the club that the current day Tampa Bay Rays most closely resemble. In TECMO Super Baseball (the greatest baseball game ever made in my opinion), the Expos have speed to burn. Larry Walker, Moises Alou, and Marquis Grissom formed the fastest outfield in baseball. Even their first baseman, Cliff Floyd, has the speed to steal 25 bases in a season. A very young Pedro Martinez anchored the rotation, and they also had the best bullpen in the game. You don’t mess with the ’94 Expos.

(EDITORS NOTE: I’ve owned TECMO Super Baseball for almost 15 years now. One of my goals in life before I croak is to play every single game of a 162 season for every team. I pick which team to use in a given match-up based on who’s pitching or which team is at home. So far I’ve made it through roughly 18 games for each club. The estimated ETA for finishing this project is 2039. Is this a good time to mention that I was somehow able to produce an offspring?)

2006 Indianapolis Colts (Madden 2007) – This was the first year that Madden introduced the passing cone, where you had to use the right analog to highlight which area of the field you would be able to throw an accurate pass. The size of your cone (or in other words, the size of the area you could throw an accurate pass) was based on how high your quarterback was rated in both awareness and accuracy. Peyton Manning was rated a 99 in both awareness and accuracy in this game, so his passing cone was roughly the size of Alaska. Compare that to what JaMarcus Russell’s cone, which was the size of a thumbtack.

1992-93 Chicago Blackhawks (NHLPA ’93) – You could probably put this team down for any hockey game from 1992 through 1995 because of the most destructive on-ice force in video game history, Jeremy Roenick. Roenick was a very good NHL player, but his video game exploits were made legendary by the 1996 movie “Swingers” (that movie is rated R, for those that do not want to see adult content). After winning a game against his buddy, Vince Vaughn stated, “It’s not so much me as its Roenick. He’s good.” It was the truth.    

2005 Philadelphia Eagles (Madden 2006) –Donovan McNabb was coming off his best season in the NFL, which gave him the highest rating in the game he ever had. Terrell Owens was the second best wide receiver in the game. Throw in Brian Westbrook (a runningback that you could use quite easily as a receiver, which made him a nightmare to match up with) and a great defense, and you had yourself one of the greatest Madden teams of all time.

2006 Team USA (NHL 06) – A friend of mine and I were able to complete an entire “World Tournament” in this version of NHL (the “World Tournament” was essentially the game’s version of Olympic hockey). On paper, Canada was far and away the best team, with Russia and Sweden tied for second. However, when the real games were played, the United States was unstoppable. Led by grizzled vets Brett Hull, Mike Modano, and Brian Leetch, Team USA cruised to the World Tournament victory. It had to have been a programming glitch by whoever made the game.

2004-05 Houston Rockets (NBA Live ’05) – My college roommate put up an 84 point, 34 rebound game with Yao Ming against me one night. That performance was enough to earn the Rockets a mention in this column.

2004 New York Yankees (MVP Baseball 2004) – The Yankees lineup was so ridiculous that it makes it all the more amazing that the Red Sox were able to come back from a 3-0 deficit in real life. Derek Jeter, A-Rod, Jason Giambi, Gary Sheffield, and Hideki Matsui were all All-Stars in real life. Throw in Jorge Posada, Bernie Williams, and Kenny Lofton, and you end up with 8 out of 9 guys capable of doing damage. Pitching to them in MVP was like navigating a minefield.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (3/25-3/27)

10. Bronson Arroyo Diagnosed With Mono

            Not to make light of an unfortunate illness for a member of the 2004 Red Sox, but for some reason whenever I hear someone has mono I giggle. It’s very juvenile, but when it’s burned into your brain in junior high school that mono is the kissing disease, I just can’t help it. Without any proof of a relationship, here’s the list of five celebrities I think could’ve most likely given Arroyo mono.

Lady Gaga

Lindsey Lohan

Kate Hudson

Paris Hilton

iCarly

            Mono is also fun for black humor slogans such as, “Got mono? Well, at least it’s not AIDs!” I could go on all day about this, but I don’t want to lose what little of an audience I have, so lets move on.  

9. Alonzo Mourning Stops Traffic in Miami to Help Disabled Person Cross the Road

            This is a fun little story about a random act of kindness. Don’t read enough of these anymore.

8. Freddy Garcia Earns Spot in Yankees Rotation Over Bartolo Colon

            In other words, the Yankees chose the lesser of two evils.

7. Bulls Steal Game in Milwaukee

            Derrick Rose went bonkers in this one, going off for 30 points and 17 assists. There’s no doubt who the NBA MVP will be this season.

6. Kentucky upsets Ohio St.

            This spelt the end for my insanely awful bracket this year, as I had Ohio State winning the whole thing. Next year I plan on having my son choose my picks for me. He’ll be over a year old at that point, which means he’ll have a better chance at succeeding than I will.

5. Kevin Harvick Passes Jimmie Johnson on Last Lap

            I was able to watch the last 10 laps of this one, which turned out to be the only 10 laps worth watching. I plan on trying to do this more often with NASCAR races.

(TANGENT ALERT: I bought “Gran Turismo 5” for Playstation 3 about 10 days ago. I know racing games aren’t for everyone, but for those that are this game gets my full seal of approval. If this blog inexplicably dies within the next month, you can blame GT5.)

4. Kentucky Outlasts North Carolina

            I’m a little bummed out by this result, because it means my favorite player in the tournament (Harrison Barnes) will no longer be in it. Kentucky deserved the W though.

3. VCU Stuns Kansas

            In other words, men’s college basketball officially stopped making any sense at all.

2. Kemba Walker Powers Huskies Past Arizona

            No team better exemplifies my ineptitude in picking the 2011 tournament than Connecticut. Faithful readers of this column will recall me picking Bucknell to upset them in round 1 (click here for proof). Now the Huskies are the favorite to win the whole damn thing. Did I mention how much my picks sucked again?

1. Butler Defeats Florida in OT, Advances to Final 4

            I’d give Butler more credit if they weren’t bailed out by Florida running the “chuck 25-footers offense” in the last two minutes of regulation and overtime.

AL East Preview

5. Baltimore Orioles

A-Level = None

B-Level = 2B Brian Roberts, RF Nick Markakis, DH Vladimir Guerrero, SP Brian Matusz

C-Level = C Matt Wieters, 1B Derek Lee, 3B Mark Reynolds, SS J.J. Hardy, LF Luke Scott, CF Adam Jones, SP Jeremy Guthrie, SP Justin Duchscherer, CL Kevin Gregg

Ceiling = 70 wins

Floor = 50 wins

Best Case Scenario = The best-case scenario for Baltimore would be league realignment that would get them out of the AL East. Since that won’t happen this year, they are going to need Matt Wieters to finally realize his potential, Brian Matusz carries his second half of 2010 into this year, and that Adam Jones learns that you don’t need to swing at every pitch (it might be hard to instill that now that Vlad is on the team). If they can just continue to develop and get better as the year goes on, that will be a win for this team.

Outlook = There are nice parts here, but Baltimore is still a few seasons away from having a chance at contending. 61-101 will be the record.

4. Toronto Blue Jays

A-Level = 3B Jose Bautista

B-Level = 2B Aaron Hill, SP Ricky Romero, SP Brandon Morrow

C-Level = 1B Adam Lind, SS Yunel Escobar, LF Travis Snider, CF Rajai Davis, DH Edwin Encarnacion, SP Brett Cecil, SP Kyle Drabek, CL Frank Francisco, RP Octavio Dotel, RP Jon Rauch

Ceiling = 90 wins

Floor = 70 wins

Best Case Scenario = Similar to the Royals, Toronto is also blessed with a solid minor league system. As odd it this may sound, it would be in Toronto’s best interest to not contend this season. This would enable them to move some major league talent for assets that could help them in a couple of years.

Outlook = It’s a shame this team isn’t in the AL West or NL Central. Toronto would have a good chance of winning either of those divisions. Look for them to finish the year 83-79.

3. Tampa Bay Rays

A-Level = 3B Evan Longoria, SP David Price

B-Level = CF B.J. Upton, RF Ben Zobrist. SP James Shields,

C-Level = LF Johnny Damon, DH Manny Ramirez, SP Wade Davis, SP Jeremy Hellickson

Ceiling = 90 wins

Floor = 80 wins

Best Case Scenario = B.J. Upton and Ben Zobrist need to have batting averages above .260. James Shields needs to have better luck. Manny Ramirez or Johnny Damon need to party like it’s 2004. After other clubs gutted their bullpen during the offseason, the Rays will need a few no-name arms to emerge hold leads from the 7th inning on.

Outlook = The Rays’ offense will be more productive this season, but they do not have enough arms in the bullpen to hang with the Yankees and Red Sox. I’ll give them a record of 85-77.

   

2. New York Yankees

A-Level = 1B Mark Teixeira, 2B Robinson Cano, 3B Alex Rodriguez, SP C.C. Sabathia, CL Mariano Rivera

B-Level = SS Derek Jeter, LF Brett Gardner, CF Curtis Granderson, RF Nick Swisher, SP Phil Hughes, RP Rafael Soriano

C-Level = C Jorge Posada, SP A.J. Burnett

Ceiling = 100 wins

Floor = 85 wins

Best Case Scenario = A.J. Burnett needs to establish some semblance of consistency to stabilize the Yankees rotation. Other than Sabathia, there isn’t another arm capable of eating innings (especially with Andy Pettite’s retirement). Asking the bullpen to take care of three or four innings 80% of the time is a lot to ask. Of all the star power on this team, the Yankees playoff hopes hinge heavily on the right arm of Burnett.

Outlook = New York has a roster that would be the best in any other division. However, due to the tough division slate and lack of starting pitching, look for the Yankees being forced to fight until the final day of the season for a wildcard spot. I’ll predict a record of 90-72.

1. Boston Red Sox

A-Level = 1B Adrian Gonzalez, 2B Dustin Pedroia, 3B Kevin Youkilis, LF Carl Crawford, SP Jon Lester, CL Jonathan Papelbon

B-Level = CF Jacoby Ellsbury, DH David Ortiz, SP John Lackey, SP Clay Buchholz, SP Josh Beckett

C-Level = SS Marco Scutaro, RF J.D. Drew, SP Daisuke Matsuzaka, RP Daniel Bard

Ceiling = 110 wins

Floor = 90 wins

Best Case Scenario = Boston’s rotation isn’t a rock solid unit either, but unlike New York, the odds of a starter or two emerging are greater. John Lackey pitched well in the second half of 2010, and if he can keep his ERA just under 4.00, should have a shot at winning 18 games. If Buchholz repeats his 2010 performance, he’ll be a solid #2 behind Jon Lester. Boston needs to hope that Josh Beckett’s back holds up for a full season. If they get anything out of Dice-K, that’s gravy.

             The Red Sox offense looks like it was constructed in a video game. Terry Francona will have the luxury of having tons of flexibility with his lineup. Ellsbury and Crawford could be good for 100 steals combined. Whether they are hitting 3-4-5 or 4-5-6, Gonzalez/Youkilis/Ortiz is a murderers row in the heart of the lineup. Hell, even J.D. Drew is in a contract year, which means he might actually give a damn. Don’t be surprised if J.D. smacks 25 homers out of the 7-hole. Scoring runs will not be a problem for Boston.

Outlook = If Boston were in any other division, I’d sign off on them winning over 100 games. However, expect their divisional games to limit them to “only” 98 wins.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (1/14-1/16)

10. Yankees Surrender 1^st Round Draft Pick for Relief Pitcher Rafael Soriano

            This situation is fantastic because a week after GM Brian Cashman said the Yankees would not give up a draft pick for a relief pitcher, the Yankees signed Soriano, thus giving up a draft pick. For a minute, I almost forgot ol’ George was dead.

9. Albert Pujols Sets Deadline in Contract Negotiations With Cardinals

            If Pujols enters the season without an extension, and knows he can hit the market after 2011, we are looking at potential for an epic season by Pujols. He usually hits .340 with 40 homers anyway. Imagine him in a contract year? Yikes. All I can say is, I would take him 1^st overall in fantasy every day of the week this year.

8. Seattle Looks Like a 7-9 Team, Loses at Chicago

            I’m never better on an under-.500 playoff team ever again. Although based on how my picks have been so far, I should just stay away from the NFC (0-4 so far…sigh).

7. Reds Ink 1B Joey Votto to 3-Year, $38 Million Extension

            This is a great bargain for Cincinnati, but also not a bad move by Votto. Votto gets to build his stock a little bit before he can hit the open market again, and potentially get a Adrian Gonzalez type contract.

6. NASCAR Driver Tony Stewart Arrested in Australia

            Apparently, Stewart beat up one of the owners of an Australian dirt track because the racing conditions were poor. Good to see Tony still has his old temper.

5. Nets Schedule Face-to-Face Meeting With Carmelo Anthony

            You have to hand it to New Jersey for pulling out all the stops to try to land Carmelo. Their multi-billionaire Russian owner is even making a special trip to try to persuade Anthony to sign an extension. I still can’t ever remember a situation where so much was made of a bottom-feeding team trying to land a small forward who scores a ton, but doesn’t do much else. Would I sign ‘Melo as a free agent? Absolutely. Would I mortgage most of my roster and potentially, 1^st round picks, in order to do it? Probably not. 

4. Packers Destroy Falcons

            Green Bay is terrifying right now. Aaron Rodgers has firmly stated his case as a top-3 NFL quarterback (Brady, Rodgers, Manning, in some sort of order is my top-3). It will be fun to see how they do in the rubber-match with Chicago. 

3. Clippers Defeat Lakers 99-92

            The win wasn’t the biggest statement made by the Clippers on Sunday. Blake Griffin getting into a scuffle with Lamar Odom and Ron Artest and getting ejected was the bigger one. LA’s B-team finally has a franchise player who is not afraid of anyone. I just hope that he doesn’t seriously injure himself when he’s jumping 15 feet into the air.

2. Steelers Come From Down 14 to Pull Out 2^nd Half Comeback

            A sloppy game (the play where everyone stopped moving except the fat Raven who picked the ball up and ran it in for a touchdown), but a great payoff in the end with that pass by Roethlisberger to get them inside the five.

1. Jets Put Foot In Patriots’ Mouth

            In no particular order, here are the reasons New England lost.

1. Clearly, in the National Football League, you have to score more points to win the game. In this case, the Jets scored more points. (I was channeling my inner Troy Aikman for those who didn’t get the joke)
2. They did not have a single receiver who could consistently beat man-to-man coverage. The Jets didn’t run any exotic blitzes in this game (the kind of blitzes that Tom Brady routinely figures out before the play even starts). It would’ve been interesting to see how this game would’ve turned out if they had any form of a deep threat. I don’t think any Patriots fan had any inklings of regret about letting go of Randy Moss until the clock struck 0:00 yesterday.
3. The fake punt attempt at the end of the first half was at best, reckless decision making. At the time, it was a 7-3 game. The odds of Mark Sanchez driving 80 yards with a minute left in the half were fairly slim. If you punt the ball, go into the half down 7-3, it’s a totally different second half. Giving away seven points, and more importantly, giving more momentum to an underdog, is not a good idea in a playoff game.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (12/3-12/5)

10. Auburn and Oregon Punch Tickets to BCS Championship Game

            I wrote about this scenario in last weeks 10-pack, but I’m quite pleased that it is a reality. I’m predicting that Auburn will out muscle the Ducks, but if Cam Newton gets wined and dined a little too much during the Heisman tour, it could open the door for Oregon (that happened to Ohio State quarterback Troy Smith a few years back against Florida. He attended so many banquets he gained about 65 pounds.)

9. Jeter Resigns With Yankees

            Unbelievably, Jeter was able to weasel an extra $7 million out of the Yankees. This would’ve been higher, but the 5th item on this list bumped it down. It was nice to see the Yankees show their respect to Jeter. You don’t see that often in pro sports.

8. Dolphins and Browns Play One of the Ugliest Games Ever

            Due to not having NFL Sunday ticket, I was stuck with this game on CBS at 1pm. What a terrible game. I guess you can’t expect too much when the two quarterbacks are Jake Delhomme and Chad Henne, but this game didn’t even meet my very low expectations. At least there was plenty of humor to come out of this game (a field goal attempt hitting the upright, Chad Henne throwing three terrible interceptions, both teams combining to go 6-28 with 3^rd down conversations, and combining for approximately 46 punts) that it was still watchable.

7. WNBA Commissioner Resigns

            Until this was reported, I was completely unaware that there was a WNBA Commissioner.

6. Bengals Gift Wrap Victory for New Orleans

            It's been said on a few ESPN shows already, but I'll repeat it (because I'm lazy)...would any other team in the league jump offsides on 4th down when it is obvious the other team will not snap the ball?

5. Washington Nationals Sign Jayson Werth to an Insane Contract

            I’ve read plenty of stories about this signing, and I don’t know where I stand at this point. For those of you not in the know, the Washington Nationals (perennial doormats in the National League East) signed 32-year old outfielder Jayson Werth to a 7-year, $126 million contract (I guess the economy is on the way back up).

            On one hand, this contract is completely ludicrous. Paying this kind of money to a 32-year old player who only has 684 career hits is preposterous. Werth typically hit 5^th or 6^th for the Phillies, and has never had to carry a team. Now he’s being paid to do just that until he turns 39 years old. His high strikeout totals are not a good trait when projecting how a player will age. 

            On the other hand though, this signing gets people excited about the Washington Nationals at a time when their best young pitcher (Stephen Strasburg) will be out for the season and their best young prospect (Bryce Harper) is probably a year away from contributing at the major league level. Washington has plenty of money to spend, but has had difficulty convincing top free agents to sign with them. They were big players in the Mark Teixeira sweepstakes two years ago, but couldn’t compete with the Yankees. Going out and overpaying for a player of Werth’s caliber will at least show future free agents that they are willing to do what it takes to compete. It also completely screws up salary expectations for the rest of the 2010 free agent class. Carl Crawford has enough leverage now to try to get the Red Sox, Angels, or Yankees to pay him $180 million over 8 years. Any deal that infuriates every other GM in Major League Baseball deserves a pat on the back.

4. “The Walking Dead” Season Finale

            This is a bittersweet event for me. While I loved the first season of this show, I’m disappointed that we will have to wait a while for season 2.

3. Red Sox Acquire First Basemen Adrian Gonzalez From San Diego

            For a more extended analysis, check out my Saturday post on this trade. If you don’t want to check that out, then just know that Adrian Gonzalez is going to be a monster at Fenway Park.

2. Peyton Manning Continues His Brett Favre Impersonation Against Dallas

            What happens when a quarterback is on a team that has poor offensive line play, can’t run the ball, and has back-up wide receivers trying to read blitzes? The quarterback will try to force the issue, and turn the ball over at an alarming rate. We’ve seen this happen plenty of times with Brett Favre (the first half of the ‘00s with Green Bay, this year with Minnesota), and we’re seeing it this year with Peyton Manning. I mean, if Orlando Scandrick is picking off a pass and running it back for 6, then you really have issues (for those of you who haven’t seen much of the Cowboys the last few years, Scandrick is the Cowboys nickelback who constantly gets roasted by opposing wide receivers. I almost involuntarily soiled myself after he picked Manning off).

            Does Peyton Manning’s 11 interceptions in his last three games mean that he’s washed up? I say no. Indianapolis is clearly not going very far this season (whether they make the playoffs or not), but next year, if they can do anything to make their offensive line better, they will be back to the Colts we’ve all come to know and love (or hate). A stud runningback wouldn’t hurt either.  

1. Troy Polamalu and Ben Roethlisberger’s Schnozz Save Steelers

            All right, Roethlisberger’s nose had very little to do with the win, but did you see what it looked like? The next time the letter “C” is featured on “Sesame Street”, they could use a picture of Roethlisberger’s nose as an example.

            I’m not exactly sure what the Ravens were thinking throwing the ball on 2^nd down. After Ray Rice had gotten five yards on the first play, wouldn’t it make more sense to keep running the ball to run the clock down? Worst-case scenario is punting and pinning the Steelers back at the 20-yard line with two minutes to go (no way the Steelers were going to march 80 yards against the Ravens defense last night). Best-case scenario is Rice running for the first down in one of the next two plays. Barring a Rice fumble (which rarely happens), you avoid a costly turnover that gives Pittsburgh great field position and a chance to win the game.

            You have to tip your cap to Troy Polamalu on this play. I’m not sure exactly how fast he got to Joe Flacco, but I’ve estimated that it was probably about 0.013453 seconds. In other words, really, really fast. If Polamalu keeps flying around like that, the Steelers can go along way in the playoffs (assuming they don’t run into the Patriots. Hopefully for their sake the Jets will take care of that).

           

Pay for the Past or Let Go for the Future? The Derek Jeter Debate

            Derek Jeter as a baseball player is like an 11-year old dog. He’s starting to go blind in one eye. His fur is starting to get a little patchy in spots. He doesn’t chase after toys the way he used to. However, he still holds the same standing with the family he’s always had. This sums up the dilemma for the New York Yankees as they try to sign him. (EDITOR'S NOTE: This analogy only applies to Jeter the ball player. Jeter is one of the coolest dudes to ever play sports. His performance on Saturday Night Live in 2001 sealed the deal for me. Check out a list of his past girlfriends, which reseals it) 

            For the first time in his career, Derek Jeter is a free agent. He’s coming off a season where he posted his lowest batting average, fewest home runs, and worst on-base percentage of his career. Jeter’s range at short-stop is also dwindling with each passing season (don’t let the ridiculous Gold Glove award he just won fool you. Jeter is a stiff in the field). There’s a very real possibility that Jeter will be forced to change positions, which he is hesitant to do. Amazingly enough, the Yankees have offered him a contract worth $63 million over the next three seasons. What’s even more stunning is that Jeter has refused this offer and is holding out for a four or five year deal.

            This is a very fascinating situation. I’m not sure if there’s necessarily a right answer in the short-term no matter how the Yankees play it. Sign him, and get ridiculed for devoting so much money to a player that appears to be in decline. Let him go, and get heat for not keeping one of the five greatest Yankees of all time. Knowing that there is no short-term win, let’s look at all the factors that will come into play.


Q: Do the Yankees need Jeter more than Jeter needs them?

A: You’ll be hard pressed to find another team that would offer Jeter $21 million a year. To be honest, there wouldn’t be a team that would offer him more than $10 million. Jeter has no leverage if the Yankees want to play hardball.

Q: What are the odds that Jeter will be in decline for the rest of his career?

A: Hard to say. Jeter’s numbers in home runs and stolen bases have been erratic for his entire career, so you can’t point to those numbers as indicators of whether or not he’s fading. The scary number is his batting average. His lowest average in a season before 2010 was .291, and he had 11 seasons hitting over .300. Is it realistic to expect him to train hard in the winter and come back with a vengeance in 2011? I don’t see it happening (especially with his marriage to Minka Kelly. Jeter was in the discussion of greatest bachelor of the past 15 years. He’s second to George Clooney in my book. Maybe Jeter tying the knot is the most telling sign that he’s moving out of his prime. Not that I would complain about being married to Minka Kelly. Moving forward…).

            His declining defense can’t be overstated either. Unfortunately, they don’t have a good place to move him. First Base would be the perfect candidate, but do you want to have a guy at 1^st that hits .265 with 12 home runs? And pay him $21 million? First is moot anyway because of Mark Teixeira. Outfield would make some sense, but teaching a 37-year old to play left field would more than likely be a disaster. The DH spot will already be clogged by some combination of Jorge Posada and Alex Rodriguez.

Q: Who could replace Jeter?

A:  A stiff. There are not a lot of shortstops on the free agent list. World Series hero Juan Uribe would be the most interesting option, but I’m not sure if his World Series performance would carry over to a full season in the Bronx. One option that has been floated is swapping Robinson Cano over to short, which would make Orlando Hudson an option for second. The Yankees have no viable replacement in their minor league system.

Q: Does overpaying Derek Jeter really matter to the Yankees?

A: Not really. This team is made of money. They could give Jeter $600 million for 3 years, and still have money to sign Cliff Lee and Carl Crawford.

           I fully expect Jeter to eventually sign the three-year deal for $63 million. There might be some messiness as Jeter lobbies for a 4-year deal (leading to wall-to-wall coverage by ESPN causing Tim Kurkjian’s voice hitting an octave level only heard by small dogs), but Jeter realistically can’t complain too much. It will be quite comical to watch the Yankees in 2013 when half their roster is eligible for an over-40 softball league. As a Red Sox fan, I can’t wait.