My 19th Favorite Year of Football: 2000

            Every once in a while, No Credentials will add to a countdown of most fun years of professional football. The farthest we’ll go back is 1995 (I was 10, and this was the first season that I officially hit “sports fanatic” status), which unfortunately means we leave out the Jimmy Johnson Cowboys’ teams. Here are the factors that have ultimately influenced my enjoyment of a particular season.

-         The quality of the elite teams

-         The performance of the Dallas Cowboys

-         The performance of the New England Patriots (even though they aren’t my team, I have spent my whole life in New England, which contributes to the enjoyment of the people around me)

-         Memorable games

-         The quality of the Super Bowl and that year’s playoffs
 

Without further ado, my least favorite year of football (so far), the year 2000.

AFC Playoff Teams

#1 13-3 Tennessee Titans (AFC Central Champions) – One of the forgotten great teams that didn’t win a Super Bowl, Tennessee only allowed 26 more points then the record setting Baltimore Ravens did in 2000. It should also be mentioned that they literally ran Eddie George into the ground, as he piled up 403 carries (and another 50 receptions) during the regular season. No wonder he never averaged over 4 yards per carry in the ‘00s.

#2 12-4 Oakland Raiders (AFC West Champions) – Beginning a three year run of Super Bowl contention, Rich Gannon proved to be the perfect quarterback to pilot Jon Gruden’s West Coast offense.

#3 11-5 Miami Dolphins (AFC East Champions) – On paper, it seems pretty ridiculous that a team led by Jay Fiedler could knock off Peyton Manning in the AFC East. It is easy to forget how dominant Jason Taylor was.

#4 12-4 Baltimore Ravens – I’m certain there aren’t a whole bunch of people that remember that Baltimore was second to Tennessee in the AFC Central during their first Super Bowl winning season. Tony Banks started the season at quarterback, but was a complete disaster. Trent Dilfer stepped in, became the ultimate “game manager”, and Baltimore never looked back.

#5 11-5 Denver Broncos – 2000 was such a bad year in THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, Brian Griese led the league in quarterback rating.

#6 10-6 Indianapolis Colts – Saddled with lofty preseason expectations, the young Colts struggled to secure a wildcard spot in Peyton Manning’s third season before losing in overtime at Miami in the first round of the playoffs.

NFC Playoff Teams

#1 12-4 New York Giants (NFC East Champions) – You could make a case that the 2000 Giants were the worst team to make the Super Bowl during the ‘00s.

#2 11-5 Minnesota Vikings (NFC Central Champions) – Led by the dynamic duo of Randy Moss and Cris Carter, Minnesota rocketed out to a 11-2 start before blowing the number one seed with three straight losses. That led to their infamous 41-0 shellacking at Giants Stadium in the NFC Championship game.

#3 10-6 New Orleans Saints (NFC West Champions) – The most surprising team of the 2000 season, unlikely starter Aaron Brooks led to the Saints to a shocking division title over the defending Super Bowl champion Rams, and even beat the Rams in the first round of the playoffs. This would prove to be the best Saints team of the Jim Haslett era.

#4 11-5 Philadelphia Eagles – Philadelphia famously drank pickle juice during the Week 1 thrashing of the Cowboys in Dallas, and rode that momentum to their first playoff berth under Andy Reid. Donovan McNabb led a home victory over the Buccaneers in the first round of the playoffs, but they were unable to upset the Giants in round two.

#5 10-6 Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Tampa was the popular Super Bowl pick in the NFC, but inconsistent quarterback play from Shaun King proved to be their undoing.

#6 10-6 St. Louis Rams – The lost year between their Super Bowl appearances, St. Louis was wildly inconsistent during their Super Bowl defense. Offensively they were the most explosive team in the league, but a leaky defense proved to be too much to overcome.

How My Cowboys Did – Let’s just say 2000 was rock bottom. We mentioned the Week 1 shellacking by the Eagles in their write-up, but what we left out was the end of Troy Aikman. Aikman was knocked unconscious after throwing five incomplete passes, and later in the year would have his career ended by a LaVar Arrington hit. Week 1 was even more disastrous when Joey Galloway, whom the Cowboys traded two first round picks for, tore his ACL. Things have been rough over the past few years of the Romo era, but 2000 will always be remembered as my least favorite Cowboys season. The only memorable thing from it was when the Cowboys "defended the star" when Terrell Owens posed on it after a touchdown.

 

 



How the Patriots Did – New England was dreadful in 2000, finishing last in the AFC East with a 5-11 record, but two important men were added to their franchise that would forever change the course of the next decade. The Patriots traded three draft picks (including their first round pick in 2000) to the Jets for the coaching services of Bill Belichick. Even more game changing, New England drafted Tom Brady in the sixth round of the 2000 draft.

MVP and Offensive Player of the Year – Marshall Faulk, RB, St. Louis Rams

            In terms of per-game production, Faulk’s 2000 season was the most dominant of his NFL career. Despite missing two games, he put up 26 total touchdowns and nearly 2,200 yards of total offense.

 

Defensive Player of the Year – Ray Lewis, MLB, Baltimore Ravens

            The most polarizing figure in sports at the time, Lewis was the dominant player of the 2000-01 season in spite of dealing with a potential murder charge. His strip of Eddie George in the Divisional Round game at Tennessee was the signature play of the season.

Offensive Rookie of the Year – Mike Anderson, RB, Denver Broncos

            Anderson was the third no-name rookie to thrive in Mike Shanahan’s offense, rumbling for nearly 1,500 yards and 15 touchdowns after both Terrell Davis and Olandis Gary went down to injury.

Defensive Rookie of the Year – Brian Urlacher, MLB, Chicago Bears

            Urlacher was a stiff the last couple of years he played, but when he came into the league he was a new wave, hyper athletic middle linebacker. Chicago can’t complain with the production they got out of their 2000 first round pick.

Memorable Games

Week 8, Dolphins @ Jets – Down 30-7, Vinny Testaverde throws four fourth quarter touchdown passes to push the Jets into overtime. New York booted a field goal in overtime to cap off the Monday Night Miracle.

 

2001 AFC Divisional Round, Ravens @ Titans – In what was essentially the championship game for the NFL (they were clearly the two best teams), Ray Lewis and company overpowered the Titans. Lewis made what in No Credentials’ opinion was the signature play of his career to seal the game.

 

You Won Your Fantasy League If You Started…

QB: Daunte Culpepper, Vikings = 350 Fantasy Points (Culpepper was a mid-round pick entering his first year as a starter, and in terms of number of championship teams he was on, was probably the fantasy MVP of 2000. Yours truly had the pleasure of winning a league with him that year)

RB: Marshall Faulk, Rams = 381 Fantasy Points
RB: Edgerrin James, Colts = 340 Fantasy Points
WR: Randy Moss, Vikings = 236 Fantasy Points
WR: Terrell Owens, 49ers = 226 Fantasy Points
WR: Marvin Harrison, Colts = 225 Fantasy Points
TE: Tony Gonzalez, Chiefs = 174 Fantasy Points
DEF: Baltimore Ravens (besides setting the league record for fewest points allowed, they generated 49 turnovers. Let me repeat that…49 TURNOVERS!)
K: Matt Stover, Ravens = 135 Fantasy Points

The What-If Teams

Tennessee Titans – The top team in terms of DVOA in 2000, Tennessee was an elite wide receiver short of being able to overcome the Ravens defense. This was the last great Eddie George season, and Steve McNair’s first year as a perenial MVP candidate.

Pittsburgh Steelers and Jacksonville Jaguars – Both of these clubs had the talent to make noise in the playoffs, but unfortunately they were trapped in the AFC Central with Baltimore and Tennessee. Jacksonville was particularly entertaining, with Jimmy Smith and Fred Taylor posting career seasons.

Minnesota Vikings – Minnesota didn’t dominate teams, but the stellar play of Randy Moss and Cris Carter pushed them to a 11-2 start. Daunte Culpepper looked like he would be one of the elite quarterbacks for the next decade, but unfortunately would only post two campaigns on par with 2000 for the rest of his career.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Looking back, it’s ridiculous that Shaun King was the quarterback of a team with such a loaded roster. Ultimately, Tony Dungy’s decision to stick with King for the 2000 season was the beginning of the end of his tenure in Tampa Bay.

Super Bowl XXXV

            The Giants had no chance against the dominant Ravens, and didn’t score an offensive touchdown. Besides two back-to-back kick return touchdowns, there isn’t anything particularly memorable that occurred in it.

Final Opinion

            You know 2000 was an off year of football when Trent Dilfer and Kerry Collins were the starting quarterbacks in the Super Bowl. Normally weird years are impacted by star player injuries, but 2000 didn’t have that. The safest bet is to chalk up 2000 as an anomaly. We’ll definitely never see a season where a defense can dominate its way single-handedly to a title ever again.

Super Bowl XLVII Prop Bets and Pick

            Here’s our favorite prop bets for tomorrow night’s game, with our official Super Bowl pick at the end.

Cross-Sport Bets

49ers Points (+3) over Blake Griffin’s Combined Points and Rebounds vs. Boston Celtics

            Griffin is averaging just under 19 and 9 for the season. I like San Francisco to at least score 25 points, if not a bunch more.

Joe Flacco Touchdown Passes (-115) Greater Than Kobe Bryant’s Number of 3-Point Field Goals Made

            At the time of this writing, Kobe hasn’t hit a 3 in his last six games. Furthermore, he hasn’t even attempted a long-range shot in two of the games, and only attempted one in two more. Remember this when Kobe goes 5 for 7 on Sunday from distance.

Lionel Messi Goals (-0.5) over Frank Gore Touchdowns

            Lionel Messi scored 4 goals in one game this past Sunday. Gore’s going to need to hit pay dirt twice to make this bet competitive.

Chris Bosh Points (-0.5) over Largest Lead of Super Bowl XLVII

            Bosh averages 17 a game, plus he’s making another trip to Toronto, which could mean he wants to put on a show for his former hometown fans. God (working through the body of Ray Lewis, which apparently was a side effect of his deer-antler spray purchase) will not allow this game to get out of hand.

Distance of First Touchdown Pass of Super Bowl XLVII (-6.5) over Steve Nash’s Total Assists

            Kobe Bryant is doing all the distributing in Laker-Land now. This is the easiest bet on the cross-sports board.
 

San Francisco 49ers Player Props

Colin Kaepernick Will Score a Rushing Touchdown (+115)

            Hard to believe we won’t have some “Kaepernicking” on Super Bowl Sunday.

Frank Gore Over 85.5 Rushing Yards (-115)

            San Francisco has done a masterful job of managing Gore’s carries all season. There won’t be any restrictions against Baltimore, a team that is vulnerable against the run.

LaMichael James Longest Rush Over 11.5 Yards (EVEN)

LaMichael James Will Score a Touchdown (+300)
            James started making an impact the last quarter of the regular season (remember his long-kickoff return after 28 straight Patriots’ points turned around a near collapse in December), and as mentioned in the previous prop, Baltimore is vulnerable against the run.

Randy Moss Over 36.5 Receiving Yards (-115)

            Randy Moss might not of been the greatest wide receiver of all-time, but no one was more feared. Think of him as the Barry Sanders of wide receivers. Even now opposing defenses still roll a safety to his side of the field for deep help.

Baltimore Ravens Player Props

Joe Flacco Over 3.5 Rushing Yards (-115)

            Flacco isn’t a stiff, even though he looks like one. I see at least one 3^rd and 4 that ends with Flacco scampering out of bounds with a gain of 5.

Ray Rice Receptions Over 3.5 (+120)

            Baltimore probably will have a hard time running the ball, but that won’t limit the Ravens from getting the ball to one of the best receiving backs in the league. I could see Rice hauling in five or six passes.

Jacoby Jones Will Score a Touchdown (+350)

            The only long-shot bet for a Ravens player to score that I like.
 

Super Bowl XLVII Game Props

Longest Touchdown of Super Bowl XLVII Over 45.5 (-115)

            Each team has electric return men, defenses that can generate turnovers, and plenty of playmakers on offense. It would be hard to believe we won’t see one long touchdown.

Total Sacks in Super Bowl XLVII Under 4.5 (-115)

            Both offensive lines are solid. Only way this goes over is if San Francisco jumps all over Baltimore and Flacco has to throw 55 times.

San Francisco 49ers Will Throw Challenge Flag First (-115)

            This shouldn’t be a newsflash for anyone, but Jim Harbaugh is a fantastic coach in THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. He is a little reckless sometimes with the challenge flag though.

One Quarter of Super Bowl XLVII Will Be Scoreless (+180)

            Both defenses are talented enough to combine for a scoreless quarter.

Novelty Props

Color of Gatorade Dumped on Winning Head Coach Will Be Red (+350)

            This will make sense when you get to my pick at the end of this column.

MVP of the Super Bowl Will Thank God First (EVEN)

            If you’re a supporter of the Ray Lewis, this will be your favorite bet on the board.

Alicia Keys Will Take Longer Than 2 Minutes and 5 Seconds to Sing National Anthem (-115)

            I couldn’t find a clip of Keys performing the anthem (this was a valuable scouting tool when Christina Aguilera botched the National Anthem a couple of years ago), but I see a long, dragged out, R & B version.

Jim Harbaugh Will Be First Coach Shown On Television After Opening Kickoff (-120)

            Sorry John, Jim is way more interesting.

No Credentials Prediction

49ers (-3.5) over Ravens

            San Francisco will dominate the line of scrimmage offensively, and create a couple of turnovers to slow down the Ravens. Giving Jim Harbaugh two weeks to come up with a game plan is dangerous.

San Francisco 38, Baltimore 28

Regular Season = 140-111-5

Postseason = 6-4

2012 NFC West Preview

Sick of baseball? Tired of the Dwight Howard saga? Not interested in which country is the best at ribbon dancing? Good news! Training camps have opened, which means football is right around the corner. No Credentials will provide season previews for every team in the league. We'll post the schedule, highlight franchise cornerstones, free agent signings, and potential impact rookies. Look for these posts throughout the month of August.

We'll start with the NFC West, aka "not the worst division in football for the first time in four years".


4. Seattle Seahawks

2011 Record = 7-9, Third in NFC West

2012 Schedule = @ ARI, DAL, GB, @ STL, @ CAR, NE, @ SF, @ DET, MIN, NYJ, BYE, @ MIA, @ CHI, ARI, @ BUF, SF, STL

Franchise Players = RB Marshawn Lynch, WR Sidney Rice, T Russell Okung, S Earl Thomas

Key Free Agent Acquisitions = QB Matt Flynn, DT Jason Jones, G Deuce Lutui
Potential Impact Rookies = LB Bruce Irvin (West Virginia) 1-15

Outlook = Before Marshawn Lynch’s recent DUI, I was much higher (pun intended) on their chances to crack .500 this season. A previous offender of the NFL’s conduct policy, Lynch is likely facing at least a four game suspension. With little else behind him on the depth chart, former Packers backup Matt Flynn (I’m assuming that he wins the starting job over Tavaris “The Virus” Jackson, but assuming Pete Carroll will do something that makes sense is a dangerous proposition) transition to full-time starter that much more difficult. They’ll be a pain in the ass to play in Seattle (watch out Cowboys, Packers, and Patriots fans), but expect a long season in the great northwest. 

Ceiling = 10-6

Floor = 3-13
No Credentials Prediction = 5-11


3. St. Louis Rams

2011 Record = 2-14, Last in NFC West

2012 Schedule = @ DET, WAS, @ CHI, SEA, ARI, @ MIA, GB, NE, BYE, @ SF, NYJ, @ ARI, SF, @ BUF, MIN, @ TB, @ SEA

Franchise Players = QB Sam Bradford, RB Steven Jackson, DE Chris Long, DE Robert Quinn

Key Free Agent Acquisitions = CB Cortland Finnegan
Potential Impact Rookies = DT Michael Brockers (LSU) 1-14, CB Janoris Jenkins (North Alabama) 2-7, CB Trumaine Johnson (Montana) 3-2

Outlook = St. Louis was the most aggressive team in accumulating future assets (click here for some praise for their fleecing of the Washington Redskins). They’ll have two first round picks for each of the next two seasons (think about how awesome that is for a second, especially when both picks have a great chance of being in the top 10 next year ). Trading down with Dallas (a minor fleecing, but it should be worth it for the Cowboys) and ending up with Michael Brockers solidifies their defensive line. Young cornerbacks Janoris Jenkins and Trumaine Johnson each have the potential to be shutdown corners who will have a chance to learn behind Cortland Finnegan. The only thing that will hold back St. Louis is their miserable offensive line and lack of playmakers at wide receiver. Assuming the Rams address those two holes in the 2013 draft, expect big things for them in 2016.

Ceiling = 8-8

Floor = 2-14
No Credentials Prediction = 5-11

2. Arizona Cardinals

2011 Record = 8-8, Second in NFC West

2012 Schedule = SEA, @ NE, PHI, MIA, @ STL, BUF, @ MIN, SF, @ GB, BYE, @ ATL, STL, @ NYJ, @ SEA, DET, CHI, @ SF

 

Franchise Players = RB Beanie Wells, WR Larry Fitzgerald, DT Darnell Dockett, CB Patrick Peterson, S Adrian Wilson

Key Free Agent Acquisitions = None
Potential Impact Rookies = WR Michael Floyd (Notre Dame) 1-13, T Bobby Massie (Mississippi) 4-17

Outlook = The success of the Arizona Cardinals hinges entirely on the success of Kevin Kolb (editors note: I’m aware that Kolb is in a position battle with John Skelton. However, No Credentials believes that Kolb has way more upside than Skelton, and choosing Skelton over Kolb guarantees a 6-10 record or worse). He was a tick below average last season, but that won’t cut it in (cue Ron Jaworski’s voice) THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. If he puts it together, he has one of the two best wide receivers on Earth in the form of Larry Fitzgerald, and a potential stud across the field from him in the form of rookie Michael Floyd. Throw in a serviceable running game, an adequate defense, and Kevin Kolb has all the pieces to succeed. Wouldn’t bet on it happening though.

Ceiling = 12-4

Floor = 3-13
No Credentials Prediction = 7-9

1. San Francisco 49ers

2011 Record = 13-3, First in NFC West, Lost in NFC Championship Game
2012 Schedule = @ GB, DET, @ MIN, @ NYJ, BUF, NYG, SEA, @ ARI, BYE, STL, CHI, @ NO, @ STL, MIA, @ NE, @ SEA, ARI

Franchise Players = RB Frank Gore, TE Vernon Davis, T Anthony Davis, T Joe Staley, G Mike Iupati, LB Patrick Willis

Key Free Agent Acquisitions = RB Brandon Jacobs, WR Randy Moss, WR Mario Manningham
Potential Impact Rookies = WR A.J. Jenkins (Illinois) 1-30

Outlook = See how many offensive lineman are in the 49ers franchise players list? That’s why a team that was quarterbacked by Alex Smith only missed out on the Super Bowl due to a couple of mistakes by Kyle Williams. Unfortunately, they were unable to upgrade from Smith to Peyton Manning, but Smith is been beaten down enough in his career that he shouldn’t be impacted by his team’s failed pursuit of an upgrade. He’ll have a few more weapons to play with on the outside, although it remains to be seen how much they’ll get out of Randy Moss. Mario Manningham presents a reliable third down option to take some pressure off of Vernon Davis. The schedule is significantly tougher than last years (week 15 at New England should be a great one), but they still have an elite defense that can keep them in any game. I don’t expect a repeat of their 2011 13-3 record, but barring a career year from Kevin Kolb, 10 wins will be enough.

Ceiling = 12-4

Floor = 9-7
No Credentials Prediction = 10-6




Click here to read about the AFC East
Click here to read about the AFC North
Click here to read about the AFC South
Click here to read about the AFC West
Click here to read about the NFC East
Click here to read about the NFC North
Click here to read about the NFC South

Randomly Awesome Video Game Teams

            After mentioning some video game teams in my NHL Eastern Conference Finals preview, that got me thinking about which were the most exciting video game teams of all time. For the purpose of this exercise, I’m going with just the base rosters for each game mentioned (except when I talk about a created player I liked to add to the Boston Bruins). The teams aren’t ranked in order.

            Most of the clubs listed have at least one of two traits. Almost all of them had at least one transcendent talent that could single-handedly win you a game (the 1994 Expos are the only exception). Almost all of these teams were much more potent in the virtual world as opposed to real life (the only exception being the 2006 Colts, which are the only team mentioned on this list that won a championship in real life).

            Feel free to write in the comments section teams that I have left out. I’ve played quite a few sports games over the years, but certainly haven’t played them all. Now on to the list…

 

1988 Los Angeles Raiders (TECMO Bowl) – Bo Jackson was so overwhelming in this game, he was the most dominant force in the game even though there was only one play you could call for him. For video proof, check out this TECMO Bowl highlight where Bo Jackson runs 99 yards and kills the entire 1^st quarter (for those that didn’t play this game, he’s the dude running with the flashing “1” over his head). 

 

1999-2004 Minnesota Vikings (Madden 2000-2005) – There will never be a more dominant video game wide receiver than Randy Moss during this time span (he wasn’t too shabby in real life in this era either. If you forgot, watch this). The Vikings always had plenty of weapons around him that made them much more effective on Playstation than in real life. Robert Smith and Cris Carter were there the first two years, but things went to another level with the arrival of Daunte Culpepper and Michael Bennett. Culpepper was a huge dude with a cannon arm that could also run (in other words, he was the kind of guy you would create to play quarterback), and Bennett was between a 96 and a 98 in speed. Bennett was the classic guy who’s speed made him a much better Madden player than a real life one (former Broncos runningback Tatum Bell was another famous one). Minnesota was a juggernaut for online play.  

2002-03 Boston Bruins (NHL 03) – This Bruins club was based on the season after they earned the top seed in the east, but ended up choking against the Canadians in the first round. Anchored by Joe Thornton, this team had a fleet of goal scorers in Glen Murray, Sergei Samsonov, Brian Rolston, and Mike Knuble. Things were even better offensively when 18-year old super phenom Cam Muir was added to the mix. Muir’s ability to skate in circles around the net almost resulted in my friend Ethan punching my television on several occasions. Muir’s exploits on the ice were almost as prolific as his efforts on the gridiron playing quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. Someday, his multi-sport efforts will be recognized (oh wait, they all happened in video games…nevermind). 

 

1994 Montreal Expos (TECMO Super Baseball) – If the 1994 strike had never happened, there would still be a baseball team in Montreal. They were selling home games out every night while turning every game into a track meet. This was the club that the current day Tampa Bay Rays most closely resemble. In TECMO Super Baseball (the greatest baseball game ever made in my opinion), the Expos have speed to burn. Larry Walker, Moises Alou, and Marquis Grissom formed the fastest outfield in baseball. Even their first baseman, Cliff Floyd, has the speed to steal 25 bases in a season. A very young Pedro Martinez anchored the rotation, and they also had the best bullpen in the game. You don’t mess with the ’94 Expos.

(EDITORS NOTE: I’ve owned TECMO Super Baseball for almost 15 years now. One of my goals in life before I croak is to play every single game of a 162 season for every team. I pick which team to use in a given match-up based on who’s pitching or which team is at home. So far I’ve made it through roughly 18 games for each club. The estimated ETA for finishing this project is 2039. Is this a good time to mention that I was somehow able to produce an offspring?)

2006 Indianapolis Colts (Madden 2007) – This was the first year that Madden introduced the passing cone, where you had to use the right analog to highlight which area of the field you would be able to throw an accurate pass. The size of your cone (or in other words, the size of the area you could throw an accurate pass) was based on how high your quarterback was rated in both awareness and accuracy. Peyton Manning was rated a 99 in both awareness and accuracy in this game, so his passing cone was roughly the size of Alaska. Compare that to what JaMarcus Russell’s cone, which was the size of a thumbtack.

1992-93 Chicago Blackhawks (NHLPA ’93) – You could probably put this team down for any hockey game from 1992 through 1995 because of the most destructive on-ice force in video game history, Jeremy Roenick. Roenick was a very good NHL player, but his video game exploits were made legendary by the 1996 movie “Swingers” (that movie is rated R, for those that do not want to see adult content). After winning a game against his buddy, Vince Vaughn stated, “It’s not so much me as its Roenick. He’s good.” It was the truth.    

2005 Philadelphia Eagles (Madden 2006) –Donovan McNabb was coming off his best season in the NFL, which gave him the highest rating in the game he ever had. Terrell Owens was the second best wide receiver in the game. Throw in Brian Westbrook (a runningback that you could use quite easily as a receiver, which made him a nightmare to match up with) and a great defense, and you had yourself one of the greatest Madden teams of all time.

2006 Team USA (NHL 06) – A friend of mine and I were able to complete an entire “World Tournament” in this version of NHL (the “World Tournament” was essentially the game’s version of Olympic hockey). On paper, Canada was far and away the best team, with Russia and Sweden tied for second. However, when the real games were played, the United States was unstoppable. Led by grizzled vets Brett Hull, Mike Modano, and Brian Leetch, Team USA cruised to the World Tournament victory. It had to have been a programming glitch by whoever made the game.

2004-05 Houston Rockets (NBA Live ’05) – My college roommate put up an 84 point, 34 rebound game with Yao Ming against me one night. That performance was enough to earn the Rockets a mention in this column.

2004 New York Yankees (MVP Baseball 2004) – The Yankees lineup was so ridiculous that it makes it all the more amazing that the Red Sox were able to come back from a 3-0 deficit in real life. Derek Jeter, A-Rod, Jason Giambi, Gary Sheffield, and Hideki Matsui were all All-Stars in real life. Throw in Jorge Posada, Bernie Williams, and Kenny Lofton, and you end up with 8 out of 9 guys capable of doing damage. Pitching to them in MVP was like navigating a minefield.

Thursdays With Charlie Sheen, a Special St. Patty's Day Edition

            Happy St. Patrick’s Day to actual Irish people. You folks that aren’t Irish, but celebrate today like you are, I got some winning words for you. You want to know why I don’t get smashed on St. Patrick’s Day? Because everyday is St. Patrick’s Day for Charlie Sheen. I slam four eight balls with three porn stars on Easter. I chug fifths of Patron on Arbor Day. I slam 7-gram rocks on August 18^th. You get the idea. I don’t need to show up on “Amateur Night”. I don’t need to gag on three green beers to show how full throttle I am, and neither do you. Earn yourself. Win the war. Torpedo the giraffe…The troll of the day award (sponsored by Defeat is Not an Option) goes to Randy Moss. Seriously, I didn’t sound half as pathetic when I was begging Denise Richards to stay with me. Stick a fork in me if I ever crawl back to Chuck Lorre begging forgiveness…Who’s looking more haggard these days, me or Katie Couric?…I’d like to welcome all NFL players to the exclusive “Unemployed Winners” club. Enjoy it while it lasts…My live tour is in jeopardy because I just found out I can’t snort blow on stage…When will ESPN assign Todd McShay to laundry duty for Mel Kiper?…When I start feeling bad about myself, I replay The Situation’s bit from the Donald Trump roast on my DVR…Is it really that hard for Bruce Pearl to not think about his future, seeing how he won’t have one with Tennessee?…When I finally go totally insane, I hope I randomly start yelling “JIMMER!”…I can emphasize with Jalen Rose. Duke would never of recruited a kid like me either…Kevin Durant has enough tiger blood in his pipe cleaners to win the Western Conference…When I win my $100 from Warner Brothers, will that be enough money to buy Clippers? Blake Griffin will look good wearing a Hollywood Tiger Bloods jersey…Say what you want about my career, but at least I didn’t end up on a CBS-spin off series co-starring with LL Cool J…