Overcooked MLB Preview

            Some of you asked if I was going to write about real baseball this year, and I’m proud to say that I did. Unfortunately, I forgot to post this Sunday afternoon, so you’re getting it two days later than it was originally intended to be released. Based on my March Madness performance, it’s probably for the better, as I wouldn’t want anyone making bets on any advice I have to offer at the moment. Without further ado, we run through each division, with some playoff predictions at the end.

 



NL West

5. Colorado Rockies

            The pitching is abysmal, and we predict by June that whispers of Troy Tulowitzki ending up in pinstripes become shouts.

4. San Diego Padres
            Almost the exact opposite of Colorado, San Diego has the proud distinction of providing the most inept offense in the National League. A Chase Headley bounce-back campaign is their only hope.

3. Arizona Diamondbacks

            If they were willing to pay the price for David Price, we’d consider bumping this team up to the top spot in the NL West. Without him, their rotation is a bit of a mess until Archie Bradley reaches the Major Leagues.

2. San Francisco Giants

            The 2012 World Series champs had a down 2013 for a variety of reasons, but if half of those issues correct themselves, they should be looking at a Wild Card spot.

1. Los Angeles Dodgers

            They have the best starting pitcher (Clayton Kershaw), arguably the best shortstop (Hanley Ramirez), and MLB’s best chance of Manny Ramirez 2.0 (Yaisel Puig). Not to mention that they are owned by crazy people who will do whatever it takes at the trade deadline to improve the team. There’s always a chance of an October flameout, but in the regular season the Dodgers are the best bet to rack up the most wins in MLB.

AL West

5. Houston Astros

            Are the Astros the Philadelphia 76ers of MLB, or vice versa? Regardless, some of Houston’s top prospects will be hitting the bigs soon. There’s a chance they won’t be horrendous in 2016.

4. Oakland Athletics

            Oakland always squeezes more production out of it’s players than any other team, but season ending injuries to a couple prominent members of their starting rotation will set them back.

3. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

            I think Pujols comes back to near All-Star form, and Mike Trout is ridiculous, but until Los Angeles corrects their pitching issues, they won’t hang with Texas.

2. Seattle Mariners

            Either we’re over eager about Seattle because of their abundance of young starting pitching behind Felix Hernandez, or because Robinson Cano has been one of the team captains of my No Credentials Fantasy Baseball team for three years. Regardless, there’s a chance that Cano stabilizes an offense full of talented players who haven’t delivered yet.

1. Texas Rangers

            We’re bummed out about Jurickson Profar missing the first three months of the year, but there’s still a ridiculous amount of depth offensively. Prince Fielder will return to previous form playing his home games in Arlington, and Adrian Beltre is arguably the most under appreciated great player in the game. They’ll need to acquire another starting pitcher before the deadline to be a true threat in the playoffs, but there’s enough here for them to win the AL West.

NL Central

5. Chicago Cubs

            We’re about a year away from seeing the benefits of Theo Epstein’s rebuild, but at least Chicago should have the most exciting mid-season call-up in the form of Javier Baez. 

4. Milwaukee Brewers

            Milwaukee could win anywhere between 65 and 95 games and I wouldn’t be completely surprised. As we’ve written before, Ryan Braun is a complete asshole who won’t care about getting booed everywhere he goes. He should return to near MVP-level form. It’s the question marks in the starting pitching staff (in particular, presumed ace Yovani Gallardo, who imploded last year) that make us lukewarm on them surpassing any of the other three playoff teams in their division from a year ago.

3. Pittsburgh Pirates

            The Pirates were a blast last year, even getting contributions from a pitcher who grew up right in No Credentials home turf. It would’ve been great to see them go all-in and acquire another power bat, but it appears they are just hoping for another step forward from Pedro Alvarez. They’ll still be competitive, but we see them just missing the Wildcard game.

2. St. Louis Cardinals

            Are the San Antonio Spurs the St. Louis Cardinals of the NBA, or vice versa? They’re incredible pitching depth will have them in the hunt as always come October.

1. Cincinnati Reds

            Forgetting his forgettable 0-4, four strikeouts performance on opening day, we think Billy Hamilton is the key to the Reds overtaking St. Louis in the NL Central. His transformational speed is enough of a difference maker to make an already potent Reds lineup all the more lethal.

AL Central

5. Minnesota Twins

            Hard not to think that Joe Mauer’s move away from catcher is about three or four years too late.

4. Chicago White Sox

            There are not a lot of interesting players here, but at least Jose Abreu should be fun to watch.

3. Cleveland Indians

            Last year’s most surprising AL playoff participant, Cleveland likely needs Carlos Santana to have a career year in order to put them over the hump.

2. Kansas City Royals

            For the first time in a while Kansas City actually has some depth in their starting rotation. Mike Moustakas fulfilling his post-hype sleeper status alongside former top prospect Eric Hosmer is needed for the Royals to have any chance of knocking off Detroit.

1. Detroit Tigers

            They have the best pure power hitter in baseball and the deepest starting rotation in the American League. Throw in some better clubhouse chemistry now that Prince Fielder is in Texas, and you have yourself the favorites to represent the American League in the World Series.

NL East

5. Miami Marlins

            At what point do the Marlins pull the trigger on a Giancarlo Stanton trade? He’s the best tool they have to completely reload their farm system.

4. New York Mets

            Matt Harvey’s injury really is a bummer. New York might’ve actually had a chance to at least be in shouting distance of a wildcard spot if their young ace was healthy.

3. Atlanta Braves

            No team was ravaged more by injuries during spring training than Atlanta. They are one of the few teams that have the depth to deal with losing 40% of their starting rotation (that’s a fancy way of saying they lost two starting pitchers), but we think that puts them a step behind in the NL East.

2. Philadelphia Phillies

            Remember the 2009-10 Phoenix Suns, who made a semi-improbable run to the Western Conference Finals a few seasons after it looked like the Nash Era would never contend for a NBA title again? That’s the kind of year I’m predicting for Philly.

1. Washington Nationals

            A full year of solid health for Bryce Harper (who was fortunate not to get a concussion after getting kicked in the head on opening day) is what we are predicting, as well as a serious run at the NL MVP award. If the offense improves their scoring output by one run per game over last year, their pitching will take care of the rest.

AL East

5. New York Yankees

            The infield is atrocious, there are no sure things in the starting rotation (Sabathia is washed up, Kuroda is a nerd stats regression candidate, and while we like Tanaka, we aren’t ready to bet the farm on him), and even more frightening, they don’t have THE HAMMER OF GOD anymore. Throw in the fact that they will be lucky to get 240 combined games out of Jacoby Ellsbury and Carlos Beltran, and this has all the makings of a season similar to what the Red Sox endured in 2012.At least for their sake, Bobby Valentine isn’t the manager.

4. Baltimore Orioles

            For my money, no team whiffed more in the off-season than the Baltimore Orioles. The offense is dynamite (and the Nelson Cruz signing at least paid dividends on opening day), but if there was one team that needed to through an obscure amount of cash at Tanaka, it was Baltimore. Ubaldo Jimenez is not enough for the Orioles to get into playoff contention.

3. Boston Red Sox

            Coming off a year where just about everything went right, it would make sense that a market correction will occur. We are hopeful that Grady Sizemore (one of the franchise players on one of my all-time favorite fantasy baseball teams I owned in 2008) makes a serious run at Comeback Player of the Year.

2. Toronto Blue Jays

            Think of this prediction as the opposite of what I just said about Boston. Virtually everything went wrong for Toronto last year, and while they didn’t get off to a great start against Tampa Bay, we still think the Blue Jays have the manpower to at least finish second in the AL East.

1. Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays

            On paper, this is the best (Devil) Rays team of the Joe Maddon era. There’s so much pitching depth throughout the organization, they could trade David Price and still not miss a beat. Wil Myers will form a dynamic duo with Evan Longoria in his sophomore campaign, giving the offense a much-needed boost. Barring a significant injury to Longoria (which could happen), this is the team to beat in the AL East.

(Probably Terrible) Playoff Predictions

NL West = Dodgers

NL Central = Reds
NL East = Nationals
NL Wildcard 1 = Cardinals
NL Wildcard 2 = Giants

AL Central = Tigers

AL East = (Devil) Rays
AL West = Rangers
AL Wildcard 1 = Mariners
AL Wildcard 2 = Royals

NLCS = Reds over Cardinals

ALCS = Tigers over Rays

World Series = Reds over Tigers

 

 

 

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (10/25-10/27)

10. Western Connecticut’s Octavias McKoy Breaks NCAA Rushing Record
            For those not in the know, 455 is a lot of fucking yards.

9. Jeff Gordon Ends 32-Race Winless Streak

            On a day that most folks thought Jimmie Johnson would put a death-grip on The Chase, Jeff Gordon put himself in position to make a miracle run at the title.

8. Saints Pound Bills

7. Chiefs Gut Out a Win Over Cleveland
6. Cincinnati Demoralizes the Jets
5. Denver Drops 38 Unanswered Points Against Washington
4. Aaron Rodgers Eviscerates the Vikings
            Normally I don’t lump five mostly forgettable football games together in the same paragraph (even when I’m feeling super lazy), but here’s the reason these five contests make the cut.

Bills(Buffalo) 17 Saints(NewOrleans) 35 10/27/13(13:05 ET) Saints(NewOrleans) -4.5 (-110)

Browns(Cleveland) 17 Chiefs(KansasCity) 23 10/27/13(13:05 ET) Chiefs(KansasCity) -0.5 (-115)

Jets(NewYork) 9 Bengals(Cincinnati) 49 10/27/13(16:10 ET) Bengals(Cincinnati) +1 (-110)

Packers(GreenBay) 41 Vikings(Minnesota) 24 10/27/13(20:35 ET) Packers(GreenBay) -2.5 (-110)

Redskins(Washington) 21 Broncos(Denver) 45 10/27/13(16:30 ET) Broncos(Denver) -6 (even)

 

            That my friends, is an epic five team, seven-point teaser created by yours truly. So rarely has a NFL wager gone right for No Credentials, we feel the need to celebrate it.

(EDITORS NOTE: I participated in a 20-round, ten-team fantasy basketball draft last night, and need to finish up our NBA preview, so No Credentials was in fact feeling pretty lazy tonight)

3. Calvin Johnson Goes Bonkers Against Dallas

            Megatron came up seven yards short of Flipper Anderson’s all-time single game receiving yardage record as my Dallas Cowboys choked away yet another victory. Not a bad week to own Calvin in a PPR league. Also big props to Matthew Stafford, who's ballsy quarterback sneak when everyone (including his own team) thought he was going to spike the ball was Marion-esque.

2. Obstruction Call Gives Game 3 to St. Louis

1. Final Out is a Pick-Off as Red Sox Even Series
            I would’ve been willing to bet that the Red Sox were done after the most notorious obstruction since Ray Lewis, but Johnny Gomes and Johnny Gomes’ beard changed the tide with one momentous swing.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (10/18-10/20)

10. A Bunch of People I Didn’t Know Croak on “The Walking Dead”
            But who cares, there was the usual amount of gratuitous violence.

9. Auburn Batters Johnny Manziel, Pulls Off Upset at Texas A&M

            You can kiss any chance of a second straight Heisman for Johnny Football.

8. Grambling Football Players Refuse to Play

            Good for them, as it has been reported that there is mold in their practice facility, their weight training room is outdated even by high school standards, and the school forces the team to travel a ridiculous amount of miles on buses the night before road games.

7. Cardinals Spank Dodgers, Earn World Series Berth
            I’m trying to figure out if it’s fairer to compare the Cardinals to Jason Voorhees or the San Antonio Spurs. In the spirit of Halloween, I’ll vote for Jason.

6. Late Caution Seals Jamie McMurray Win at Talladega

            My wife really enjoys it when McMurray starts bawling in victory lane, so it was good to see McMurray snap his 3-year losing streak. Even more important was The Chase being reduced to a two-man show. Jimmie Johnson leads Matt Kenseth by four points with four races to go.

5. Florida State Demolishes Clemson
            College football blowouts don’t normally make it into this space, but when it involves the #5 team in the country destroy the third ranked team, we pay attention. It’s been a long time since Florida St. has been relevant, but they’ve debuted at #2 in the initial BCS rankings. 

4. Redskins Win Wild 45-41 Thriller Over Chicago

            Chicago losing Jay Cutler in the second quarter had a lot to do with Washington being able to steal this one. If Cutler is out for an extended period of time, you can write the Bears off the list of NFC playoff teams.

3. Brand New, Little Known Rule Gives Jets Upset Over New England

            Everyone will focus on the penalty that gave Nick Folk a second chance at winning the game in overtime, but the bottom line is the Jets outplayed the Patriots Sunday and deserved to win.

2. Colts Thank Peyton Manning, Then Beat Him

            It’s important not to overreact to a regular season game, but this did feel like a coming of age moment for Andrew Luck. Unfortunately, it came at a very high price, as future Hall of Famer Reggie Wayne is done for the year.

1. Shane Victorino Grand Slam Lifts Red Sox Into World Series

            Not since the $14 million grand slam hit by J.D. Drew in the 2007 ALCS has a less likely home run been hit for the Red Sox. Drew’s was still the most improbable moment (for those that don’t remember, he was atrocious during the 2007 season), but Victorino’s was the go-ahead slam to put the Red Sox into their third world series in 10 seasons.

Half-Baked MLB Preview

            After watching parts of a dominating performance by Kyle Lohse (Kyle f***ing Lohse!), I feel pretty stupid about producing two pages worth of a Word document on a sport that almost puts me into a deep coma. Despite this questioning of my self-worth, here’s No Credentials predicted order of finish for each division in MLB.

NL West

1. Arizona Diamondbacks
2. San Francisco Giants
3. Colorado Rockies
4. Los Angeles Dodgers
5. San Diego Padres

If you were allowed to put the Giants pitching staff with the Rockies offense, you’d have a super team. Unfortunately, that’s not allowed, so we’re stuck with picking the most well rounded team in the division to win the NL West. Arizona has the most underrated starting rotation in the NL, and a deep bullpen to support it. A monster campaign from Justin Upton (think .290-35-115-110-25) puts Arizona into the 95-win zone.

AL West

1. Texas Rangers
2. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
3. Oakland Athletics
4. Seattle Mariners

It doesn’t really matter if you put Texas or the Angels first or second in this division. With each team getting 36 chances to beat the living snot out of the Mariners and Athletics, both of these teams will be making the playoffs.

NL Central

1. Cincinnati Reds
2. Milwaukee Brewers
3. St. Louis Cardinals
4. Chicago Cubs
5. Pittsburgh Pirates
6. Houston Astros

          The toughest division for No Credentials to pick, we ended up going with the club that lost the least during the off-season. I have a hard time believing it will be business as usual in St. Louis without Albert Pujols, and Milwaukee faces a similar issue without Prince Fielder.

AL Central

1. Detroit Tigers
2. Cleveland Indians
3. Minnesota Twins
4. Kansas City Royals
5. Chicago White Sox

I tried to talk myself into picking Cleveland to win the division, but can’t do it. Even if Detroit’s infield is leakier than the Titanic, the Tigers should win the division by 10 games or more.

NL East

1. Philadelphia Phillies
2. Washington Nationals
3. Atlanta Braves
4. Miami Marlins
5. New York Mets

         This is the most competitive division in MLB. You could make a strong case for any of the top four clubs to win the division. Philadelphia’s three-headed monster at the top of their rotation still gives them the edge in No Credentials book, but their aging offense is becoming more of an Achilles heal.

AL East

1. Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays
2. New York Yankees
3. Boston Red Sox
4. Toronto Blue Jays
5. Baltimore Orioles

          New York is getting long in the tooth (other than Robinson Cano), and doesn’t have a reliable starter other than C.C. Sabathia. Boston will need to get a borderline historically dominant season from their offense (a possibility. If Boston makes the playoffs, it will be because Adrian Gonzalez is the AL MVP) to overcome the issues they will have with their bullpen (TANGENT ALERT: I hate the placement of Daniel Bard in the starting rotation. They essentially traded one of the best setup men of the past two seasons who has the stuff to close games for a guy who had an ERA over 6.00 the last time he was a regular starter, and that was in Single-A ball in 2007). Tampa Bay has the most pitching depth (minors included) of any club in baseball. Evan Longoria is due for a hammer-of-God season (he was plagued last season by a insanely unlucky BABIP), and the emergence of Desmond Jennings should fill in what they lost when Carl Crawford left for Boston (remember folks, Carl Crawford used to be good once upon a time). This is why No Credentials is cursing the Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays by picking them to win the AL East.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (10/28-10/30)

10. NBA Cancels Regular Season Games Through Month of November
            And sadly, I’m not sure if anyone other than Bill Simmons or myself cares.    

9. Snowstorm Plows Up I-95 Corridor

            Blizzards in October make me want to relocate to a warm climate as soon as humanly possible.

8. Holding Penalty Costs Me $20…I Mean, Late FG Miss Gives Minnesota Win Over Panthers

            Needing to cover a 3.5-point spread (and more importantly to him, win the game), Cam Newton scrambled to the Vikings’ seven yard line for a first down with under 30 seconds to play. Unfortunately, Steve Smith was called for holding, pushing the Panthers back and forcing them to attempt a field goal. The snap was high, Olindo Mare’s kick went wide left, and another sad gambling tale was completed.  

7. LeSean McCoy Runs All Over Dallas

            It’s a good thing Rob Ryan kept two safeties 20 yards deep the entire game to prevent DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin from getting down the field. We couldn’t of used one of those guys to help stop the run.

6. Rams Ruin Suicide Pools and 3-Team Teasers Across the Country, Beat Saints

            I was one of the three-team teaser casualties, but at least Steven Jackson had a really strong day for one of my fantasy teams.

5. God’s QB Crushed By Lions

            Perhaps the Lord is attempting to teach his QB to learn from adversity. Either that, or the Broncos really stink.

4. Tony Stewart Makes Incredible Late Race Pass, Wins at Martinsville

            You aren’t supposed to pass people on the outside at Martinsville, but that’s what Smoke was able to do to Jimmie Johnson on the final restart of the race. He’s only eight points behind leader Carl Edwards with three races left.

3. Steelers Solve Patriots, Win 25-17

            For years, Pittsburgh has attempted to confuse Tom Brady with their complex zone blitz packages. For years, Brady has been able to figure out the blitz and carve the Steelers like a roast. Finally, Pittsburgh adjusted and played man-to-man. Without an elite receiver to beat tight coverage (sorry Patriots fans, Wes Welker is not elite), the Patriots were shut down. New England should expect to see more of this type of defense going forward.

2. Andrew Luck Leads Stanford Over USC in Triple Overtime

            With all of the tuck about “Suck for Luck” in relation to next year’s NFL Draft, it’s almost hard to remember that Luck is still playing in college. He was at his best after throwing a pick-6 late to give USC a seven-point lead. Luck rallied the team for a tying score with 30 seconds left, and then engineered three scoring drives in overtime.

1. St. Louis Cardinals Finish Improbable Run, Win World Series

            The team that would never say die, even when faced with multiple two-run deficits late in Game 6, took care of business Friday night. Their victory is all the more amazing when considering these following facts.

-         Their best player, and arguably the best player in baseball, broke off contract talks in March and is a free agent entering the 2012 season. Distractions like this usually kill teams.

-         Their best starting pitcher, a former Cy Young winner, underwent Tommy John surgery in February and was lost for the season.

-         They were 10.5 games back in the wild-card in August.

-         They were heavy underdogs to both the Phillies and Brewers before reaching the World Series.

-         Game 6 can’t be overstated. St. Louis ran out of position players, and was forced to trot out two weak left handed hitters and a pitcher in the bottom of the eleventh. Both hitters produced singles, and pitcher Kyle Lohse was able to bunt both of them into scoring position with one out.

 
            Hats off to the Cardinals. I hope for fans of the team that Albert Pujols resigns, but even if he leaves for more money, I have a feeling St. Louis will figure out a way to remain competitive.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (10/14-10/16)

10. Prompto Saves Me Some Cash

            To make a long story short, I brought my car in for an oil-change. Even though it had been three months, I barely drive my car so the oil was still in great shape. Instead of going ahead with a change and making an easy $20 (even though I’m a NASCAR fan, I’m a dolt when it comes to cars. They could’ve done a change and I wouldn’t of even known whether or not my oil was fine or not), the good folks at Prompto advised me to hold off for a month or two because a change wasn’t necessary. Kudos to the Prompto people for having morals and doing the right thing (which is saving me money).     

9. Sean Payton Injured During Loss to Buccaneers

            I’m going to bring you folks to a dark place with the following paragraph, but I really enjoy it when coaches get wiped out on the sidelines. As long as there isn’t a fatality (which is always a real possibility when Joe Paterno is involved), I could watch a montage of coaches crumbling to the ground all day.

8. St. Louis Knocks Off Brewers to Earn World Series Berth

            At least for Brewers fans, they can now spend time on more important things, like watching the Packers and increasing their cholesterol.

7. Ravens Win 29-14 Over Houston

            Wouldn’t be noteworthy under normal circumstances, but this game was the first one that No Credentials wagered real cash on. A good start for No Credentials on Sportsbook.

6. Donovan McNabb Gets Benched (Again)

            In this case, it was properly in McNabb’s best interests that Vikings coaches decided to pull him from a 39-10 Bears blowout. Expect Christian Ponder to be starting within three weeks.

5. Matt Kenseth Wins, Jimmie Johnson Crashes Late at Charlotte

    

While it’s easy to get excited that Jimmie Johnson is in eighth place in The Chase with five races to go, we need to get through Talladega before declaring that Johnson has no chance to win another title.

4. Texas Rangers Advance to Second Straight World Series

            I must be out on baseball, because I had forgotten that Texas won the American League pennant last season. I expect the Ranger’s superior firepower to overwhelm St. Louis in six games (you know what that means loyal readers, bet on Cardinals in five!).

3. Lions and 49ers Attempt to Stage Post-Game Coaches Fight
            For the record, if Jim Harbaugh and Jim Schwartz ever meant in a boxing ring, I’d expect it to go the full 12. Schwartz would be favored (because he’s psychotic), but I’d like Harbaugh to win in a split-decision.

2. Cowboys Rip My Heart Out in Person, Lose Late to Patriots

            I didn’t get to personally witness Romo choke, but instead get to say I was at a game that Jason Garrett ended up as the scapegoat (here’s some real-life reporting for you…I don’t think Pats fan would’ve known who Jason Garrett was if he was standing on the sideline with a t-shirt that said, “Hi, My Name is Jason Garrett.” Rob Ryan on the other hand? Completely different story. Ryan was booed lustily all 678 times he was shown on the Jumbotron. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not, just merely making an observation). For the record, everyone at the stadium knew Dallas was going to run the ball three times on their final possession. Our seats were fairly high up, so we had a pretty clear of both Patriots safeties flying up to the line of scrimmage before the ball was snapped on first down. If Romo is supposedly an elite quarterback, Garrett had to give him a chance to ice the game. We’ll talk more about this game later in the week on No Credentials.

1. Indy Car Drivers Pay Tribute to Fallen Comrade Dan Wheldon
            With all of the safety advancements that auto racing has seen since the death of Dale Earnhardt, it’s been easy to forget just how dangerous the sport really is. Racing lost one it’s best personalities in Dan Wheldon. If Wheldon had been a successful NASCAR driver for the last decade, his sense of humor and joy for life would’ve easily made him a household name. For those that didn’t see the race (which I’ll assume is all of you), here’s what transpired.

            Dan Wheldon leaves behind his wife Susie, 2-year old son Sebastian, and 6-month old son Oliver. He was only 33 years old. R.I.P.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (10/7-10/9)

10. Clint Bowyer Agrees to Join Michael Waltrip Racing in 2012
            I’ll let the following video explain the irony of this situation.

9. Tebow Gets in the Game, Almost Leads Comeback Against Chargers

            If Tebow doesn’t start in two weeks after the Broncos have their bye week, I’m not sure there’s enough marijuana in Denver to subdue angry Denver fans.

8. Jimmie Johnson Dominates Kansas, Within Four Points of Championship Lead

            Probably should save time and just start calling Jimmie “Six-Time”.

7. Ben Roethlisberger Tosses Five Touchdowns in Steelers Rout of Tennessee

            My worst of three fantasy teams is very thankful that Ben Roethlisberger finally decided to show up this season.

6. Milwaukee Brewers Win Game 1 of NLCS

            The folks in charge of the Brewers bandwagon were nice enough to let me on it despite the fact that my cholesterol level is significantly lower than their average fan.

5. Tiger Wood Has Hot Dog Thrown At Him While Lining up Putt

            As strange a headline as that is, the most bizarre part is that the person who tossed the dog wasn’t a female.

4. The Philadelphia Eagles Stink

            Philadelphia is further proof that signing a bunch of big names doesn’t create instant chemistry. We saw it in the NBA last year during the Miami Heat’s first 15 games. Unfortunately, the Eagles don’t have an 82-game season to figure things out.

3. “The Firm” Goes Bonkers, Leads Patriots Over Jets
            I was at Gillette Stadium back in October of 2008 when Ben-Jarvis Green-Ellis made his first appearance in a regular season game for the Patriots. New England was hammering Denver on a Monday night (which was a pisser for me because I had three Broncos going on my fantasy team that week. I was down by 25 points or so going into the game, and those four Broncos combined for 12). Due to alcohol consumption, it sounded like the stadium announcer was saying seven names after Green-Ellis’ first carry. It was easily the most entertaining moment of the night (other than the crowd booing Matt Cassel, who got sacked eight times. I wish I could’ve talked to Chiefs fans before he signed with them). I don’t think any of us there that night expected Green-Ellis to become so relevant that he would earn a nickname, or that he would someday run for 136 yards and two touchdowns against the Jets.

2. Chris Carpenter Out-Duels Roy Halladay, Knocks Out Phillies

            How excited must the executives of FOX be now that the World Series will be without the Red Sox, Yankees, and Phillies?

1. Oakland Raiders Honor Al Davis, Steal a Win in Houston

            I’m too young to remember Al Davis being more than just a punching bag for sports columnists. People questioned if Davis was actually a sea monster. Some even wondered if he had actually died ten years ago. My most memorable Davis moment was when he awkwardly bashed former Raiders Head Coach Lane Kiffin during a press conference a few years back. Instead of writing a long, Wikipedia-esque paragraph about what Al Davis met to the game of football, I’ll let current Raiders Head Coach Hue Jackson explain what Davis meant to the Raiders.

NL Central Preview

6. Pittsburgh Pirates

A-Level = CF Andrew McCutchen

B-Level = None

C-Level = 2B Neil Walker, 3B Pedro Alvarez, LF Jose Tabata, CL Joel Hanrahan, RP Evan Meek

Ceiling = 65 Wins

Floor = 50 Wins

How They Reach the Ceiling – Pittsburgh has a solid young group of offensive players that could deliver some wins. Neil Walker and Jose Tabata made valuable contributions to the club after being called up from the minors. Pedro Alvarez has prodigious power potential. He projects to be a 40 home run guy that can eventually anchor the lineup. Andrew McCutchen is the most complete player in their lineup that has the potential to hit 25 home runs and swipe 40 bases.

How They Can Fall to the Floor – Other than James McDonald, Pittsburgh’s pitching staff is devoid of any talent that has upside. Pittsburgh has some arms down in the minors, but it will be another couple of seasons before there young pitching talent meets up with the young bats that are already in the majors.

Floor or Ceiling? – Let’s put it this way…if you own a national league hitter on your fantasy team, and he is playing the Pirates, make sure you get him in your lineup. Pittsburgh’s lack of pitching will doom them to a 52-107 record.

5. Houston Astros

A-Level = None

B-Level = LF Carlos Lee, CF Michael Bourn, RF Hunter Pence, SP Wandy Rodriguez, SP Brett Myers

C-Level = 1B Brett Wallace, SP J.A. Happ, SP Bud Norris, CL Brandon Lyon, RP Wilton Lopez

Ceiling = 85 Wins

Floor = 60 Wins

How They Reach the Ceiling – Wandy Rodriguez and Brett Myers were quietly one of the best pitching duos during the second half of the 2010 season. If they can get solid production out of either J.A. Happ or Bud Norris, they will have three pitchers that can face off against the top clubs in the NL Central. For Houston’s offense to be productive, they will either need a comeback season from Carlos Lee or a breakout season from Brett Wallace.

How They Can Fall to the Floor – Not to keep this to simple, but if none of the things that can get them to their ceiling, they will be at the floor. There’s really no middle ground with this team.

Floor or Ceiling? – I like some of the pitchers, but like last year, this club will struggle to score runs. 67-95 is where I see Houston finishing.

4. Chicago Cubs

A-Level = CL Carlos Marmol

B-Level = 3B Aramis Ramirez, LF Alfonso Soriano, CF Marlon Byrd, SP Ryan Dempster, SP Matt Garza

C-Level = C Geovany Soto, 1B Carlos Pena, SS Starlin Castro, RF Tyler Colvin, SP Carlos Zambrano, RP Kerry Wood

Ceiling = 85 Wins

Floor = 65 Wins

How They Reach the Ceiling – I don’t think there is another team in baseball that needs as many guys to have bounce-back seasons. Aramis Ramirez needs to have a strong year after an injury plagued 2010. Alfonso Soriano has been mediocre the past couple of seasons. Free agent acquisition Carlos Pena had a batting average under .200 last season. Carlos Zambrano was so bad that he was moved into the bullpen for part of the season. Chicago needs at least three of these guys to have strong seasons to have a chance at getting over .500.

How They Can Fall to the Floor – If the pitching tanks, it could be a very long summer in Wrigleyville. This team gave up an awful lot for Matt Garza. While a decent pitcher, he’s never demonstrated that he can carry a rotation. Amazingly, Chicago gave up just as much (if not more) than Milwaukee gave up for Zack Greinke. Don’t underestimate the anticipation of Albert Pujols impending free agency on this team. If Chicago struggles, it will be all Pujols, all the time in Chicago sports-talk radio conversation. That topic will weigh heavily on the players who have to answer questions about Albert everyday in the clubhouse.

Floor or Ceiling? – Chicago will be better than last year, but won’t be good enough to kill the Pujols anticipation. Look for 76-86 and long-drawn out speculation about Albert Pujols that will make you long for the days of Carmelo Anthony wanting to get traded to the Knicks.   

3. St. Louis Cardinals

A-Level = 1B Albert Pujols, LF Matt Holliday, SP Chris Carpenter

B-Level = CF Colby Rasmus, SP Jaime Garcia, CL Ryan Franklin

C-Level = SS Ryan Theriot, 3B David Freese, RF Lance Berkman, SP Jake Westbrook, SP Kyle Lohse, RP Jason Motte

Ceiling = 90 Wins

Floor = 75 Wins

How They Reach the Ceiling – Pujols and Holliday are as good a 1-2 punch as there is in baseball. If Colby Rasmus can make a leap, St. Louis could score a ton of runs this season. 3B David Freese is also a wildcard. Someone on this pitching staff needs to step up and replace the absence of Adam Wainwright. Jaime Garcia seems to be the most likely candidate.

How They Fall to the Floor – If there is no one that fills Wainwright’s shoes, pitching will be a major issue. This team has thrived with Carpenter and Wainwright logging at least seven innings a start. With just one ace, this bullpen could get burnt out early in the season. I don’t think Pujols contract situation will impact this veteran group much, but that will be the elephant in the room with this team all year long.

Ceiling or Floor? – Unless Pujols bats .400 and smashes 55 home runs, I don’t think the pitching is good enough. I’ll predict an 82-80 finish.

2. Cincinnati Reds

A-Level = 1B Joey Votto, 2B Brandon Phillips

B-Level = 3B Scott Rolen, CF Drew Stubbs, RF Jay Bruce, SP Edinson Volquez, SP Bronson Arroyo, SP Johnny Cueto, RP Aroldis Chapman

C-Level = LF Johnny Gomes, SP Homer Bailey, CL Francisco Cordero

Ceiling = 95 Wins

Floor = 80 Wins

How They Reach the Ceiling – Cincinnati doesn’t necessarily wow you with a ton of A-level talent, but they have as much depth as any team in baseball. Joey Votto is poised to reach 40+ homers for the first time in his career. Jay Bruce is also due for a major breakout. The starting staff would be greatly enhanced if Homer Bailey finally begins to live up to his potential. The Reds still have plenty of depth in their farm system, and should be able to make a trade to fill a hole before the trade deadline.

How They Fall to the Floor – A pitching staff implosion is the only thing that will keep the Reds mired around .500.

Ceiling or Floor? – Cincinnati’s offense will muscle this team very close to it’s ceiling. This could be high, but I see a 93-69 season for Cincinnati. They will be players for the division and the wildcard all year long.

1. Milwaukee Brewers

A-Level = 1B Prince Fielder, LF Ryan Braun, SP Zack Greinke

B-Level = 2B Rickie Weeks, 3B Casey McGehee, RF Corey Hart, SP Yovani Gallardo, SP Shaun Marcum, CL John Axford

C-Level = SP Randy Wolf, RP Takashi Saito

Ceiling = 100 Wins

Floor = 85 Wins

How They Reach the Ceiling – Trading for Zach Greinke and signing Shaun Marcum was two of the shrewdest moves in the off-season. Milwaukee has built the deepest rotation in the division. If Randy Wolf bounces back from a disappointing 2010, this team can push 100 wins.

How They Fall to the Floor – Similar to San Francisco, pitching is not the concern. Milwaukee’s offense is filled with a lot of guys that can hit the ball out of the park, but not a lot of guys who consistently get on base. Without a spark at the top of the lineup, this is a team that could be prone to prolonged slumps.

Ceiling or Floor? – Call me a fool, but I love the Brewers this year. Prince Fielder playing for a new contract should carry the offense. I’m predicting a 96-66 season, as well as a puncher’s chance at knocking off Philadelphia in the playoffs.