10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (9/26-9/28)

10. Rajon Rondo Breaks His Hand, Out 6-8 Weeks

            While this move won’t do anything to improve Rondo’s trade value, it will help ensure the Celtics will have an abundance of ping-pong balls in next year’s draft lottery.

9. Jeff Gordon Emphatically Punches Ticket to Round of 12 at Dover

            Gordon’s march to 100 wins took another step forward as he dominated down the stretch to win his fourth race of the year. Brad Keselowski was equally impressive though. He’s posted 1-1-2 for finishes in the first three races of The Chase.

8. Jordan Zimmerman Ends Regular Season With a No-Hitter
            No Credentials is notoriously snarky about MLB no-hitters in the post-steroid era, but Steven Sousa Jr.’s ridiculous catch to end the game made the event worth of this list.

7. Aaron Rodgers Backs Up Words With 4 Touchdown Passes
            Sadly for Chicago, Rodgers wasn’t joking when he told Packer fans to relax.

6. Tampa Bay Confirms NFL No Longer Makes Sense, Rallies to Defeat Pittsburgh

            I’m officially deciding to only gamble on NBA games going forward after watching highlights from this game. We’ll touch more on that subject this week (the unpredictability of NFL games, not gambling on the NBA).

           

5. Kansas City Royals Return to the Postseason

            After Detroit clinched the AL Central Sunday, their stay could only last for one day, but hey it still counts.

4. Steve Smith “Sr.” Goes Bonkers

            It was obvious that Smith would have extra motivation facing off against his former team, but you’ll be hard pressed to find people outside of his immediate family that he could return to fantasy football relevance on a weekly basis.

           

3. Cowboys Play Like It’s 1993, Smash Saints

            Dallas demonstrated the value of an elite offensive line with their dismantling of a Saints team that beat them 49-17 last season. 

           

2. 49ers Get Back to Basics

            Teams often go astray when they try to be something that they aren’t (which is what happened to the 49ers each of the last two weeks), but they stuck to Frank Gore and the ground game and grinded out a win over the Eagles.

1. Boston Bids Farewell to Derek Jeter

            Nothing was going to top Jeter’s last game at Yankee Stadium, but kudos to Red Sox fans (who probably were outnumbered by Yankee fans who bought tickets on Stub Hub, but we won’t talk about that) for paying respects to a man who tormented them for many years.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (1/17-1/19)

10. NASCAR Reportedly Looking to Expand Chase Field to 16
            With as watered down as the Sprint Cup Championship already is, they might as well up the field to 43. The biggest loser in this is Jimmie Johnson, who’s already earned enough scrutiny for the six championships he has won. If he breaks the series record for most championships in this format, old-school fans are going to potentially walk away from the sport for good.

9. Canucks and Flames Start Game With a 10-Man Brawl

            What happens when both coaches decide to have their checking lines start the game? This.

 

8. Rondo Returns

            It was refreshing to see the only player left for Boston that was a major contributor during their championship contending years on the court. The best part was that they lost to the Lakers, because every loss means more ping-pong balls in next year’s lottery.

7. Portland Wins in San Antonio
            Before No Credentials publishes there soon to be released NBA mid-season power rankings, we’ll have to seriously consider whether or not the Trail Blazers are a serious championship threat. Wins like they had Friday night in San Antonio add to their credentials.

6. Serena Williams Won’t Win Every Major This Year

            Sadly, I had no idea the Australian Open was even happening, so I was extra shocked to hear that Serena will not win it.

5. David Stern Fines Mark Cuban One Last Time
            I hope to someday be financially stable enough that I would actually ask for a $100,000 fine.

4. John Wall Makes the Shot of the Year

            I’ve watched this clip 25 times and I still can’t figure out how he made this shot.

 

3. Kevin Durant Drops Career High 54 Points on Golden State

            Durant concluded the weekend with his seventh straight 30+-point game against Sacramento. He has firmly put himself in pole position for the 2014 NBA MVP with his recent scoring barrage.
         
2. Peyton Manning Outperforms Tom Brady, Leads Broncos to Super Bowl
            Even though it was only a 10-point margin of victory, it felt like the Broncos were up by three scores the whole game. Rarely is a No Credentials pre-game prediction so spot on.

1. Seahawks Survive Last Second 49ers Drive, Win NFC Championship

            We haven’t seen a big game this physical since the Steelers-Ravens AFC Championship Game in January of 2009. Three Colin Kaepernick turnovers spelled doom for the 49ers.

Cheer Up Boston

            It’s been a rough week for New Englanders, which isn’t good when you’re talking about a group of people that either bitch about the winter cold or complain about the summer heat. No Credentials has taken some time to analyze all of it’s local sports teams (for those not in the know, this blog is based out of the woods of New Hampshire) to determine which ones we should panic about, and which clubs we should take a deep breath and look ahead to the future.

New England Patriots

What Happened = Aaron Hernandez (who was going to be ranked #3 among all tight ends in No Credentials soon to be released fantasy football rankings) was cut, and Rob Gronkowski appears destined for the PUP List.

Reason For Panic = New England’s offense was literally built around their two dynamic tight ends. Add the loss of Wes Welker, and this looks like Tom Brady’s worst receiving corps since 2006. Brady averaged 3,593 yards and 25 touchdowns from 2001 through 2006 (not bad numbers, but not the elite level we’ve seen since 2007), so a regression to those stats is likely. Barring an unexpected development, this won’t be a team capable of dropping 50 points in a given week.

Reason for Optimism = Stephen Ridley led a rejuvenated Patriots ground game (New England hadn’t been that effective on the ground since Corey Dillon’s debut season with the Pats in 2004), so the possibility exists that the offense can be shifted to a more run dominant scheme. Throw in an improved defense, and the luxury of playing in the worst division in THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, and even without elite receiving threats this team should be able to bang out a 10-6, AFC East winning season.

Panic or Optimism? = PANIC

            Tom Brady’s 36, so wasting a year with marginal receiving talent is a shame. Danny Amendola provides the opportunity to fill the Welker void (if he can stay on the field), but it will take an incredible rookie debut by Aaron Dobson for the Patriots to be a true Super Bowl contender. They’ll win the shoddy AFC East before getting destroyed in the Wild Card round.



 

Boston Celtics

What Happened = Doc Rivers successfully abandoned the ship, making his way to the Clippers in an exchange for draft picks. Even more depressing, Boston traded both Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce (along with Jason Terry, but he sucked last year) to Brooklyn for a package that is best described as a poop sandwich (unless the Nets suck sometime between 2016 and 2018, which could happen). Lastly, it is rumored that Boston has been in serious discussions with the Dallas Mavericks about a trade that would ship Rajon Rondo out of town.

Reason for Panic = The Celtics are going to suck ass next season, and maybe the year after that…and possibly the year after that.

Reason for Optimism = What good is it to struggle to be the seventh or eighth seed every year, when instead you can bottom out and potentially land a franchise player in the draft? Andrew Wiggins has the look of a franchise player, and his presence in next years draft will lead to the first NBA Tankapalooza since the 2007 Oden/Durant class (for those not in the know, “NBA Tankapalooza” is one at five of the teams in the league blatantly try to blow as many games as possible to ensure they have the best chance in the lottery at the first pick in the draft). If Boston misses out on Wiggins, they can keep tanking every following year until they finally land a franchise player. The Celtics have never been able to attract A-level free agents, so the only way for Danny Ainge to get Boston back to a championship level is through the draft. If the ping-pong balls fall the right way next June, Boston could be making a title run in 2017, which is something you couldn’t say about the Rondo-Garnett-Pierce core.

Panic or Optimism? = PANIC, with a hint of optimism

            A hyper-competitive Celtics team has spoiled us the past five years. Win or lose, they always made a championship effort in the biggest moments. Logically though, blowing it up is the right thing to do. Remember that when Jeff Green is shooting 35% next year.

 

Boston Bruins

What Happened = Holding a 2-1 lead with roughly a minute and a half to go, Boston surrendered two goals in 17 seconds, squandering the opportunity to force a Game 7 in Chicago.

Reason for Panic = Allowing two goals in 17 seconds is really hard to do. Doing it in the deciding game of the Stanley Cup Finals is ridiculous.

Reason for Optimism = Boston wasn’t overwhelming favorites to win the Stanley Cup (the Blackhawks started the season with 24 straight games of registering at least one point. They were the best team), so it’s not like they gave away a certain championship like the Spurs did. Furthermore, the team is still young. Development by their young stars, in particular Tyler Seguin, will keep the Bruins in Stanley Cup contention for years to come.

Panic or Optimism? = OPTIMISM

             While the way they gave away Game 6 was devastating, the Bruins appear to have the emotional fortitude to bounce back from such an event (remember they blew a 3-0 series lead against the Flyers in 2010, and then bounced back to win the Stanley Cup the next year). They will be fine.

 

Boston Red Sox

 

What Happened = After a disastrous 2012, the Red Sox have the best record in the American League at the halfway point of the season.

Reason for Panic = David Ortiz took a ton of steroids while he was injured worked really hard this off season to return to MVP form, so one has to wonder how long it will be before he’s suspended by MLB cools off.

Reason for Optimism = What a difference a year makes. The return of John Farrell to the organization has done a world of wonders to the likes of Jon Lester, Clay Bucholz, and John Lackey. They are second in the league in run differential at a +80 (the Yankees are a –16. Yankees suck), and lead MLB in runs scored. Tampa Bay might track them down eventually for the division, but the Red Sox will return to postseason baseball for the first time since 2009.

Panic or Optimism? = OPTIMISM

               It’s fitting that the team only a year ago I would’ve voted as the worst of all the major pro sports franchises in New England has done a compete 180. Boston’s farm system still needs to be restocked, but that’s just picking nits. The return of the Red Sox to relevance is the one thing New Englanders can hang their hat on.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (1/25-1/27)

10. Danica Patrick and Ricky Stenhouse Announce That They Are Dating
            I have high hopes for Stenhouse, so hopefully this doesn’t derail his career.

9. Juan Montoya Clinches Another Rolex 24 Win For Chip Ganassi

            I’m not emotionally invested in sports car racing (the cars are cool, but they get to spread out for my liking), but mentioning Montoya is the perfect excuse to show what happened to him last February at Daytona.

 

8. Lebron Celebrates $75,000 Half-Court Shot With a Fan

            Thanks to the lovely tax code, Michael Drysch will only get to keep $53,000 of it.

7. Saturday Night Live Mocks Ray Lewis

            The only thing this skit missed was a steroids reference.

 

6. Villanova Stuns #3 Syracuse

            Here is this week’s “Major College Basketball Upset That No Credentials Doesn’t Give A Shit About”, sponsored by VAGISIL.

5. Kobe Learns To Pass

            If this were still 2012, I’d say it was another sure sign of an impending apocalypse.
         
4. Northern Illinois Scores Four First Half Points In a Division I Men’s Basketball Game
            Thankfully, they exploded for 21 points in the second.

3. Ashley Wagner Wins U.S. Figure Skating Championship

            I don’t know where my life went wrong, but I watched roughly an hour of this event, and was thoroughly entertained.

2. Carmelo Drops 42 On the Hawks

            Anthony had been crushing the field goal percentage of my second fantasy basketball team for weeks, so Sunday’s explosion was much appreciated.

1. Celtics Outlast Heat in Double Overtime, Then Find Out Rondo Has Torn ACL
            A potentially season saving win was marred by the news that Rajon Rondo blew out his knee in Friday night’s double-overtime win over the Hawks.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (3/30-4/1)

10. LOGO Plays “Showgirls” All Day Sunday
            My wife tripped over this one (I swear). The movie is apart of LOGO’s “great American cinema” series. Apparently, LOGO has a much different idea of great filmmaking than the majority of the American public.

9. Red Sox Announce Daniel Bard Will Start Year in Rotation

            Because anytime you can screw up your bullpen on the fleeting chance that a guy who hasn’t started a game in 5 years might be decent at the back end of your rotation, you have to do it.

8. Johan Santana Named Mets Opening Day Starter

            It’s really easy to forget that Santana was once the most dominant pitcher in baseball. Even with him, the Mets will struggle to stay out of the NL East basement, but good for him for returning after missing the entire 2011 season.

7. Ubaldo Jimenez Gets Revenge on Troy Tulowitzki With Fastball to the Elbow

            Aside from the fact that Tulowitzki is on one of my 4 fantasy teams (sadly, I couldn’t tell you which one), I love every part of this story. I like that Ubaldo was pissed off about not getting a contract extension when he was still with the Rockies while Tulowitzki and Carlos Gonzalez did. I love that Tulowitzki basically said that Ubaldo needs to shut the hell up and move on with his career. I love that Rockies manager Jim Tracy went on the record after the incident and said that he has lost all respect for Jimenez. It’s a damn shame that the Rockies and Indians won’t play again this season.

6. Notre Dame Knocks Off Lady Huskies in Overtime

            I didn’t watch a second of this game, but I’m 99% sure that this score results in no Geno Auriemma for several months.

5. Kobe Bryant Goes 3-21 in Lakers Victory Over Hornets

            Thankfully, Kobe’s career worst shooting performance wasn’t enough from preventing the Lakers advancing No Credentials in the Sportsbook $20,000 survivor pool.

4. Celtics Thump Heat

            If every Celtics game were played on Sunday afternoon on ABC, Rajon Rondo would be the greatest point guard in NBA history. 

3. David Reutimann Takes Win 200 Away From Hendrick Motorsports

            It’s not fair to be so hard on Reutimann, who was shooting for the best possible finish to keep his car in the top 35 in owner points, so let’s play it safe and blame NASCAR. Let’s say only the top 25 in points were guaranteed a starting spot every week (there’s really only 20 cars that have a realistic shot to win every race). This would prevent an also ran team like Reutimanns from keeping an ailing car on the race track one lap too long and completely altering the complexion of a race in the final laps. While Sunday’s finish was certainly memorable (Ryan Newman won by the way), we were robbed off a classic 4-lap sprint to the finish between Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson. I’ll leave it to you to decide if that outcome would be better than the one we got Sunday.   

2. Anthony Davis and His Uni-Brow Take Over Against Louisville

            If I were a fan of the Bobcats, Wizards, Hornets, Raptors, Cavaliers, or Kings, I’d be cheering for my team to lose every game to get some more ping balls for the draft lottery this May. Anthony Davis is that good.

1. Down Big, Kansas Storms Back to Top Ohio St.

            Jared Sullinger didn’t strike me as the sort of player that could shoot his team out of a victory, but that’s what happened Saturday night. Kansas will be heavy underdogs against Kentucky, but they do have the necessary depth in the frontcourt to give the Wildcats problems.

                                                                                                         

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (3/2-3/4)

10. Elliott Sadler Wins First Nationwide Race in 14 Years

            Apparently, it took wrecking a five-time champion on the second lap of the Daytona 500 to get Elliott Sadler back to victory lane. That’s not true at all, but it’s fun to remember that Jimmie Johnson wrecked on the second lap of the Daytona 500.

9. Late Jumper Gives Ohio St. Share of Big Ten Title

            Amazingly enough, it’s a three way split in the Big Ten as Michigan St., Michigan, and Ohio State all have a piece of the regular season title. For the first time in years, the Big Ten Tournament might actually be interesting. 

8. Dale Dies on “The Walking Dead”

            Dale was a whiny bitch, so I can’t say that I’m overtly bummed to see him bite the dust.

7. Jim Calhoun Returns to UConn Bench, Huskies Win

            I’d be happier to see Calhoun back if he wasn’t such a slime-ball. Nevertheless, UConn could steal a 9 or 10 seed in the tournament if they can go on a deep run in the Big East Tournament.

6. Saints Place Franchise Tag on Drew Brees

           Thankfully for the health of Brees, defensive coordinator Gregg Williams did not place the franchise tag.

5. UNC Pummels Duke, Wins ACC Regular Season Championship

            Duke had the largest halftime deficit they have ever faced at Cameron Indoor Stadium in this contest. North Carolina looks like a squad that is peaking at the perfect time.

4. Denny Hamlin Has Enough Gas, Wins at Phoenix

            This is the second straight year that the driver No Credentials has picked before the season to win the championship has won the second race of the season at Phoenix. That has no relevance to anything, but I thought I would note it.

3. Tiger Fires Final Round 62, Loses By Two Strokes to Rory McIlroy

            After withstanding Tiger’s furious rally, McIlroy has climbed to the top of the World Golf rankings.

2. Kobe’s 33 Points Lead Lakers to Win Over Miami

            The Masked Mamba eclipsed 30 points for the third straight game since Dwyane Wade broke his nose. The refs emasculated Wade in this one, collecting three quick fouls in the middle of the fourth quarter and fouling out of the game.

1. Rondo and Pierce Go Bonkers, Lead Celtics Over Knicks in Overtime

            Linsanity was put on ice Sunday afternoon as Rajon Rondo was in control throughout. We’ll see if this game is a springboard for the second half of the season, or simply an excuse for Danny Ainge to up the asking price for Rondo.

Life-Plan for the Celtics

            I’ve always been willing to offer people “life plans”. For example, to a foreign student who was looking to stay here in the United States beyond the date of her work visa, I strongly suggested that she find a man who is in the armed forces and marry him. To make a long story short, I’m full of good ideas. Tonight I’d like to propose a pipe-dream plan for how the Boston Celtics should handle their roster before the start of the 2012-13 season. Here’s what GM Danny Ainge and company need to do.

1. Realize You’re Not Winning a Championship This Year

            Even if they get the ship righted and begin playing competitive basketball again, Boston would at best be the sixth best team in the Eastern Conference. Boston's chances of winning a title are about as good as Katy Perry's chances of acing a calculus exam. Ainge has to see that it’s time to try to get this team better in 3-5 years, not right now. Once that’s realized, here’s the first move…

2. Shop Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen at the Trade Deadline

            Both players are in the year of their contracts, so they would be low-risk rentals for whoever acquired them. Garnett especially would provide tons of cap relief for whoever acquired them. If Boston got any kind of package of young players or draft picks for either Garnett or Allen, they should jump on it.

3. Ban Paul Pierce From Eating Fast Food

            I know Pierce dealt with a heel injury before the start of the season, but did that heel prevent him from lifting weights? Paul looks like he should be starting at right guard for the Patriots instead of small forward for the Celtics.

4. Lock Rondo In A Gym For the Entire Summer Until He’s a Consistent 70% or Better Free Throw Shooter

            It’s okay if you’re best player is an abysmal free throw shooter if he’s playing center or power forward. It’s a totally different story when it’s a point guard who’s responsible for the majority of the ball handling. Rondo doesn’t need to hit 3-pointers (look at the Spurs’ Tony Parker for proof of that), but improved free-throw shooting will go along way in giving Rondo the confidence to drive into the lane.

5. Set the Roster Up For a Shot at a Quality Lottery Pick For the 2013 Draft

            Due to the aging roster, Boston is not high on the list for potential free agents. The Celtics will have all sorts of cap-space this summer with Garnett, Allen, and Jermaine O’Neal (‘s dead body) coming off the books, but there’s no chance that Dwight Howard signs with them. When elite-free agents aren’t willing to take your money, the only thing to do is tank and hope for a top-draft pick. The worst thing you can be in the NBA is a .500 team, which is what Boston will be if they continue riding the Big 4.

Blow-Out the Budget 2011-12 NBA Preview

            No Credentials spent (way too much) time reviewing every roster in the NBA. Here are the qualifications for the three levels of players we assigned.

A-Level = A man capable of being the best player on a championship contending team with the right personal around him, or a player with the potential to be that type of guy.

B-Level = A man capable of being the second, third, or fourth best player on a championship contending team, or a player with A-Level talent that has personality traits that prevent them from reaching that level.

C-Level = Players capable of delivering 15-25 solid minutes off the bench, or former A and B-Level players that have slight chances of bouncing back.

30. Charlotte Bobcats

A-Level = None
B- Level = SF/PF/C Boris Diaw
C- Level = PG D.J. Augustin, SF Corey Maggette
Rookies = PG Kemba Walker, C Bismack Biyombo
Reason for Optimism = Probable top-5 pick in loaded 2012 Draft.
            Michael Jordan wasn’t a hard-line owner in the lockout because he cared about the economics of the NBA. I think he just wanted to cancel the season so no one would have to see his crappy team attempt to play basketball. It would be wise for Charlotte to give plenty of minutes to Kemba Walker to see if he is a viable NBA player. His size forces him to play the point, but he doesn’t have the natural passing instincts of Stephen Curry to make the transition be as smooth.

29. Cleveland Cavaliers

A-Level = None
B-Level = PF Antawn Jamison, C Anderson Varejao
C-Level = PG/SG Ramon Sessions
Rookies = PG Kyrie Irving, PF Tristan Thompson
Reason for Optimism = New foundation is under construction.
            I don’t see Kyrie Irving developing to a point where he is on the level of a Paul/Rose/Williams type player, but Irving could eventually be the second or third best player on a contending team. Odds are Cleveland will end up with another high first round pick for 2012. A core of Irving, Tristan Thompson (who looks like a project player at this point, but could be a force in two or three seasons, and one of the top rookies from the 2012 class will be something for Cavs fans to look forward too. Flipping Varejao and Jamison to contending teams for future draft picks would speed the rebuilding process even more.

28. Detroit Pistons

A-Level = None
B-Level = SG Ben Gordon, C Greg Monroe
C-Level = PG/SG Rodney Stuckey, SF Tayshaun Prince, SF Austin Daye, PF Charlie Villanueva
Rookies = PG Brandon Knight, C Vernon Macklin
Reason for Optimism = They have to fire Joe Dumars soon…right?
            If the NBA title were awarded to the team that acquired the most mediocre players that play the same positions, Detroit would easily be the championship favorites. Joe Dumars is like the owner in your fantasy football league who drafts two quarterbacks in the first four rounds. Resigning Tayshaun Prince will only take away minutes from promising youngsters like Austin Daye. 

27. Toronto Raptors

A-Level = None
B-Level = SG DeMar DeRozan, PF Andrea Bargnani
C-Level = PG Jose Calderon, PG Jerryd Bayless, SG Leandro Barbosa, PF Amir Johnson, C Ed Davis
Rookies = None
Reason for Optimism = The Maples Leafs are back!
            My wife loves DeMar DeRozan. She drafted him in the sixteenth round in our fantasy draft last year. She loves that he has two capital letters in the middle of his first and last name. She loves that he didn’t use props or gimmicks in last years dunk contest, and then called out the people who did. Needless to say, it wasn’t surprising that she took DeRozan about 25 picks earlier than she needed to in our draft this past Sunday.

26. Washington Wizards

A-Level = PG John Wall
B-Level = C JaVale McGee
C-Level = SG Nick Young, SF Rashard Lewis, PF Andray Blatche
Rookies = SF Jan Vesely, PG Shelvin Mack, SF Chris Singleton
Reason for Optimism = Jan Vesely’s girlfriend.
            John Wall should take a major step forward in his development, but there isn’t enough talent around him to fully take advantage of it. Washington would be wise to tank the season in order to get a second banana for Wall (think a Harrison Barnes, Anthony Davis type player).

25. Phoenix Suns

A-Level = None
B-Level = PG Steve Nash, PF Channing Frye, C Marcin Gortat
C-Level = SG/SF Jared Dudley, SG Shannon Brown, SF Grant Hill, C Robin Lopez
Rookies = PF Markieff Morris
            This looks like the year the Phoenix Suns will finally hit rock bottom. Nash still has the ability to make everyone on the court with him better, but it’s going to be a challenge for him to hold up through the condensed schedule. I don’t see a guy on this roster that will be able to get his own shot (unless Shannon Brown has some skills we don’t know about). Hopefully for the sake of Nash the Suns have the decency to ship him to a contender.

24. Milwaukee Bucks

A-Level = None
B- Level = PG Brandon Jennings, SG Stephen Jackson, C Andrew Bogut
C-Level = SG Mike Dunleavy, SF Carlos Delfino, SF Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, PF Drew Gooden
Rookies = SF Tobias Harris, PF Jon Leuer
Reason for Optimism = Greg Jennings will be back after the bye!
            Milwaukee plays real hard defense, but had a terrible time trying to score last season. I’ll be polite and say that Brandon Jennings’ shot selection was questionable. He’ll benefit from having Stephen Jackson on the team, which hopefully well allow him to stay out of hero mode on a nightly basis. The only thing that will save the Bucks from lottery-ville will be Andrew Bogut returning to his 2009-10 form (pre-elbow injury).

23. New Jersey Nets

A-Level = PG Deron Williams
B-Level = C Brook Lopez (out 4-10 weeks), PF Kim Kardashian’s Ex-Husband…oh I’m sorry he has a name…Kris Humphries
C-Level = PG Jordan Farmar, SG Anthony Morrow, SF/PF Shawne Williams, C Mehmet Okur
Rookies = SG Marshon Brooks, C Jordan Williams
Reason for Optimism = A couple of months of Dwight Howard trade rumors before he ends up with the Lakers.
            I wrote a couple of flattering things about the Nets a couple of nights ago (and a joke about how they could trade Brook Lopez and a bag of dog poop for Dwight Howard), but now Lopez will probably miss at least half of the regular season. Ouch.

22. Philadelphia 76ers

A-Level = None
B-Level = PG Jrue Holiday, SF Andre Iguodala, SF Thaddeus Young, PF Elton Brand
C-Level = PG Louis Williams, SG Evan Turner, SG Jodie Meeks, C Spencer Hawes
Rookies = PF Lavoy Allen, C Nikola Vucevic
Reason for Optimism = What will they get when they move Andre Iguodala?
            I’d like this group a lot more if this were a normal season, but can’t see Elton Brand holding up long. He’s not a guy that’s capable to survive a nine games in twelve days type stretch. My two main objectives this season if I were running the 76ers would be to see if Evan Turner can morph into a franchise player (he didn’t appear to have that potential last season), and then find a suitor for Andre Iguodala. Iguodala would be a valuable defensive force on a playoff team, but isn’t suiting to being your squad’s best player. He’s the classic “B-Level Guy Being Asked to be an A-Level Guy” example.

21. New Orleans Hornets

A-Level = SG Eric Gordon
B-Level = C Emeka Okafor, PF/C Chris Kaman
C-Level = PG Jarrett Jack, SF Trevor Ariza, SF Al-Farouq Aminu
Rookies = None
Reason for Optimism = David Stern is going to rig the draft so the Hornets end up with the top-2 picks next year.
            Gordon is poised for a monster season (think 27 points per game), but unfortunately there just isn’t enough around him this season for the Hornets to make the playoffs. Expect guys like Ariza or Kaman to eventually get flipped for future assets, and also expect the Hornets to look very scary going into the 2013-14 season. 

20. Minnesota Timberwolves

A-Level = None
B-Level = PF Kevin Love
C-Level = PG J.J. Barea, SG Wes Johnson, SF Michael Beasley, PF Anthony Tolliver, PF Anthony Randolph, C Darko Millcic
Rookies = PG Ricky Rubio, SF Derrick Williams, SG Malcolm Lee
Reason for Optimism = Plenty of assets to attempt to trade for star players that want nothing to do with playing for the Minnesota Timberwolves.
            GM David Kahn has taken a page out of the Joe Dumars playbook, and acquired all sorts of players that do the exact same thing. Most seasons that would be a problem, but in the 120 sprint the NBA has scheduled, an over abundance of depth might not be a bad thing. The Timberwolves will have no problem trotting out guys with fresh legs every night. Would you bet on the Celtics back-ups to beat Minnesota’s second unit (which will feature Williams, Barea, Tolliver, and Randolph to begin the season)? I wouldn’t.

19. Sacramento Kings

A-Level = None
B-Level = PG/SG Tyreke Evans, SG Marcus Thornton, C DeMarcus Cousins
C-Level = SG Francisco Garcia, SF John Salmons, PF J.J. Hickson
Rookies = PG Jimmer Fredette (JIMMER!), PG Isaiah Thomas, SF Tyler Honeycutt
Reason for Optimism = Fans get to watch the oddest collection of characters since “Arrested Development”
            I could probably write 3,000 words about how crazy this roster is. Jimmer must’ve thought he accidentally arrived at a halfway house when he showed up for Kings training camp. I’d like to see the go small with Jimmer and Thornton in the backcourt, Tyreke at the 3, and Cousins and Hickson working down low. None of those five guys would play defense, but the team would put up 115 per game. 

18. Utah Jazz

A-Level = PF/C Al Jefferson
B-Level = PG Devin Harris, PF Paul Millsap, PF Derrick Favors
C-Level = SG C.J. Miles
Rookies = C Enes Kanter, SG Alec Burks
Reason for Optimism = Great skiing!
            Utah is stuck with the same issue that screwed the Lakers up last season. Their three best players (Jefferson, Millsap, and Favors) usually can’t be on the court together. Things are even more complicated when you throw rookie Enes Kanter (who is a project player) into the mix. Millsap will reportedly see a lot of time at small forward, but that would be a disaster defensively. Look for Utah to move Millsap before the trade deadline, whether they are in contention or not.

17. Golden State Warriors

A-Level = PG Stephen Curry, PG/SG Monta Ellis
B-Level = SF Dorell Wright, PF David Lee
C-Level = None
Rookies = SG Klay Thompson, C Jeremy Tyler, PG Charles Jenkins
Reason for Optimism = The “sent” folder on Monta Ellis’ cellphone.
            Golden State will never be a contender until they move either Curry or Ellis. Neither of them can guard opposing 2-guards, which is tough when there is no one behind them to defend the rim (sorry Kwame Brown, there’s 10 years of evidence that you are not that guy). Ellis has a hint of Marbury, so he would be the guy I would try to move. 

16. Denver Nuggets

A-Level = None
B-Level = PG Ty Lawson, SG Arron Afflalo, SF Danilo Gallinari, PF Nene Hillario
C-Level = PG Andre Miller, SG Rudy Fernandez, SF Corey Brewer, PF Al Harrington, C Timofey Mozgov, C Chris Anderson
Rookies = SF Jordan Hamilton, PF Kenneth Faried
Reason for Optimism = Wilson Chandler is tearing it up right now…in China…until March…
               It’s amazing that Denver traded it’s franchise player away ten months ago, and lost three guys who decided to play in China, still looks this competitive on paper. If Gallinari or Lawson make the leap to A-Level status, we could be talking about a club that lands the third seed in the western conference.    

15. Houston Rockets

A-Level = None
B-Level = PG Kyle Lowry, SG Kevin Martin, SF Chase Budinger, PF Luis Scola
C-Level = PG Goran Dragic, SG Courtney Lee
Rookies = PF Marcus Morris, SF Chandler Parsons
Reason for Optimism = If we suck, we can blame David Stern from preventing Pau Gasol and Nene joining our team.
            For years, Houston has been hoarding assets. The hoarding of those assets finally appeared to pay off when the Rockets facilitated the Chris Paul trade to the Lakers. Alas, Stern vetoed the trade, Houston didn’t get Pau Gasol (and Nene, who apparently was set to join if Pau was acquired), and is now stuck with a bunch of pissed off players. As it stands now, Houston is a decent center away from being a contender in the west.

14. Orlando Magic

A-Level = C Dwight Howard
B-Level = SG Jason Richardson
C-Level = PG Jameer Nelson, SF Hedo Turkoglu, PF Ryan Anderson, PF Glen Davis
Rookies = SF DeAndre Liggins, PF Justin Harper
Reason for Optimism = Local amusement parks.
            No wonder Dwight Howard wants to leave Orlando. Big Baby was there big off-season move so far, which is even crazier when you factor in that they gave up a better player (Brandon Bass) to get him. It’s hard to tell if Orlando will stay strong in attempting to convince Howard to stay. If he does, they are looking at a four through sixth seed in the east. The earlier they trade him, the better chances of acquiring a top lottery pick. My advice for Orlando is to ship Howard out now to the highest bidder.

13. Atlanta Hawks

A-Level = SF/PF Josh Smith
B-Level = SG Joe Johnson, PF/C Al Horford
C-Level = PG Jeff Teague, SG/SF Tracy McGrady, SF Marvin Williams,
Rookies = PF Keith Benson
Reason for Optimism = If the world ends next year, we won’t have to pay Joe Johnson anymore money!
            I’d like Atlanta much more if they found a live body to play center, which would allow Smith and Horford to switch to the four and three. They don’t have enough size to exploit a team like Miami, and not enough athleticism to hang with Chicago. The only hope for the Hawks is Jeff Teague. If he becomes a consistent top-15 point guard, Atlanta has the big guns to hang with the elite teams of the east.

12. San Antonio Spurs

A-Level = SG Manu Ginobili
B-Level = PF/C Tim Duncan, PG Tony Parker
C-Level = SG Gary Neal, PF Matt Bonner, C DeJuan Blair, C Tiago Splitter
Rookies = SF Kawhi Leonard, PG Cory Joseph
Reason for Optimism = Due to end up with the top pick in the draft and pick a seven-footer that will be a cornerstone of the franchise for 15 years.
            If there was ever a team that was not constructed to play 66 games in 120 days, it would be this one. San Antonio is going to need major contributions from Gary Neal and Tiago Splitter to hang in the playoff race out west. That’s the only way the burden can be taken off of the very old foundation. Don’t be surprised if the long rumored Tony Parker trade finally comes to fruition this season.

11. Los Angeles Lakers

A-Level = SG Kobe Bryant, PF/C Pau Gasol
B-Level = C Andrew Bynum (suspended first four games)
C-Level = PG Derek Fisher, SF Matt Barnes, SF Metta World Peace, PF Josh McRoberts, PF/C Troy Murphy
F-Level = SF Luke Walton
Rookies = PG Darius Morris, SG Andrew Goudelock, PF Ater Majok
Reason for Optimism = Stem cells.
            Here’s another team not constructed to play a sprint schedule. Los Angeles has slowly morphed into one of the least athletic teams in the league. Losing Lamar Odom (one of the most versatile players in the league who could also handle the ball) is a killer for a club that has a gaping hole at point guard. They’ll be dangerous in the playoffs regardless of seed. It’s just a matter of keeping Kobe, Pau, and Bynum healthy.

10. New York Knicks

A-Level = SF Carmelo Anthony, PF Amar’e Stoudemire
B-Level = C Tyson Chandler, PG Baron Davis (out for probably the first month with a back injury)
C-Level = PG/SG Toney Douglas, SG Landry Fields
F-Level = PG Mike Bibby’s Rotting Corpse, I Mean, PG Mike Bibby (it’s hard to tell he’s still alive sometimes)
Rookies = SG Iman Shumpert, C Josh Harrellson
Reason for Optimism = No point guard, no problem! (they hope)
            I’d like the Knicks so much more if they had Lebron James instead of Carmelo. Anthony will be asked to be primary distributor of the ball (at least until Baron Davis is healthy), which is a role he has never had. For the most part, he’s been a ball-stopping isolation player his entire career. It will be interesting to see if he has the ability and mind-set to do it. He’ll need to shoulder the load in order to keep Amar’e and his shaky knees healthy through the season.

9. Portland Trail Blazers

A-Level = PF LaMarcus Aldridge
B-Level = PG Raymond Felton, SG Wesley Matthews, SF Gerald Wallace, C Marcus Camby, PG/SG Jamal Crawford
C-Level = C Kurt Thomas, C Greg Oden, C Greg Oden’s Penis
Rookies = PG Nolan Smith, SG Jon Diebler, SF Tanguy Ngombo
Reason for Optimism = Brandon Roy (may his basketball career R.I.P.) is no longer being paid $1, much less $18 million.
            I really like Portland’s top-6, but have concerns about the rest of the bench. Nolan Smith needs to give 15 Eric Maynor-like minutes a night to stabilize the second unit. If they can get anything out of Greg Oden come playoff time, Portland will boast the deepest group of bigs in the western conference.  

8. Boston Celtics

A-Level = SF Paul Pierce
B-Level = PG Rajon Rondo, SG Ray Allen, PF Kevin Garnett
C-Level = SG Marquis Daniels, PF Brandon Bass, C Jermaine O’Neal, C Chris Wilcox
Rookies = SG E’twaun Moore, PF JaJuan Johnson
Reason for Optimism = The Patriots beat Tebow!
            Boston failed to trade for Chris Paul, and pissed off Rondo in the process (not sure how he’ll react to that, although things have gone well in the pre-season so far). David West spurned them and instead signed with the Pacers. The only positive move for the Celtics was upgrading from Big Baby to Brandon Bass (and saving a few bucks in the process). The Celtics would be wise to take it easy in the regular season to keep the Big 4 healthy, and then run at full strength during the playoffs. They will need all four guys playing at their best to have any shot of winning the title.

7. Indiana Pacers

A-Level = SF Danny Granger
B-Level = PG Darren Collison, SG Paul George, PF David West, C Roy Hibbert
C-Level = PG/SG George Hill, PF Tyler Hansbrough, C Jeff Foster
Rookies = None
Reason for Optimism = Pieces are in place
            I’m predicting that the Pacers will be my NBA version of the Milwaukee Brewers (I loved them in my MLB preview last spring). There isn’t an overwhelming amount of depth, but I really like their 8-man rotation. David West’s arrival filled a gaping hole in the post, and allows Roy Hibbert to focus more on playing tough defense and cleaning up on the offensive glass. The only things that could derail them is a Danny Granger injury (he’s had a few during his career) and a David West injury (he’ll be a season removed from an ACL tear while trying to play 66 games in 120 days). If health is in their favor, watch out for the Pacers.

6. Dallas Mavericks

A-Level = PF Dirk Nowitzki
B-Level = PG Jason Kidd, SG Vince Carter, SG Jason Terry, SF Shawn Marion, SF/PF Lamar Odom
C-Level = PG Delonte West, C Brendan Haywood
Rookies = None
Reason for Optimism = We’re the defending champs bitch!
            The more I think about it, I really like how Mark Cuban and his people put their title-defending team together. There’s the ability to play big or small (having Kidd-Terry-Carter-Dirk-Odom out on the court at the same time could be the fastest bunch of old dudes in NBA history), and have tons of shooters to surround Nowitzki. The Mavericks’ chance at a title hinge largely on how well Brendan Haywood can fill the void left by Tyson Chandler. A repeat is unlikely, but look for the Mavericks to be stronger than the experts think. Either way, Dallas has done a nice job building a competitive team along with cap space for next year’s free agent class.

5. Los Angeles Clippers

A-Level = PG Chris Paul, PF Blake Griffin
B-Level = PG/SG Chauncey Billups, PG Mo Williams, SF Caron Butler, C DeAndre Jordan
C-Level = PG/SG Randy Foye, PG/SG Eric Bledsoe, SF Ryan Gomes, C Reggie Evans
Rookies = SG Travis Leslie, PF Trey Thompkins
Reason for Optimism = Blake Griffin, Year 2: Lob City.
             The Clippers are a really good that are a minor tweak or two away from being great. Their Achilles heal appears to be the ability to guard opposing 2-guards. Asking the combination of Paul/Billups/Williams/Foye do it for 48 minutes is a tall order. Moving Mo Williams to a team for a guy like O.J. Mayo would make a whole lot of sense. In addition, shipping Eric Bledsoe out for an additional big-man (Bill Simmons talked about how Anderson Varejao would be an excellent back-up for both Griffin and Jordan) would give this team depth across the board. Look for the Clippers to be very active before the trade deadline. Even after the Chris Paul trade, they have plenty of moveable parts left. 

4. Memphis Grizzlies

A-Level = PF Zach Randolph
B-Level = SF Rudy Gay, C Marc Gasol, PG Mike Conley, SG Tony Allen, SG O.J. Mayo
C-Level = PG Greivis Vazquez, SF Sam Young, PF Darrell Arthur (injured to start the year), PF Mikki Moore
Reason for Optimism = The return of Rudy Gay to a club that nearly made the Western Conference Finals last year without him.
            There isn’t a more underrated front-line in the NBA than Gay-Randolph-Gasol. All three are athletic, all of them can hammer the glass, and all three can score when the opportunity is there. The ceiling of the Grizzlies will be decided by whether or not they move O.J. Mayo, and what they get back in return. Personally, I think they should keep him as their sixth man and try to have him fill a Jason Terry-like role. Last year’s playoff run wasn’t a fluke. The Grizzlies are for real.

3. Chicago Bulls

A-Level = PG Derrick Rose
B-Level = C Joakim Noah, PF Carlos Boozer, SF Luol Deng, SG Richard Hamilton, PF Taj Gibson
C-Level = SG Ronnie Brewer, SF Kyle Korver
F-Level = PF Brian Scalabrine
Rookies = SF Jimmy Butler
Reason for Optimism = We finally have a 2-guard that can do stuff!
            The reason Miami overwhelmed the Bulls after Chicago’s Game 1 win in the Eastern Conference Finals was the inability of anyone other than Derrick Rose to create their own shot. Chicago has two potential sources of alternate offense this season. The obvious first choice is Richard Hamilton, who has spent the past two seasons in purgatory on the putrid Pistons. It’s unclear how much (if anything) Hamilton has left in the tank, but the early returns in pre-season have been good. The other source is the return to form of Carlos Boozer. Boozer battled injuries all last season, which eventually led to a loss in confidence during the postseason. By the time the Bulls entered the playoffs Taj Gibson was a much more effective player. Boozer has also looked great so far in pre-season, giving hope to Bulls fans that they will finally have the interior scoring they thought they were getting when they signed Boozer in the summer of 2010. 

2. Miami Heat

A-Level = SG Dwyane Wade, SF Lebron James
B-Level = PF Chris Bosh
C-Level = PG Mario Chalmers, SG-SF Shane Battier, SF Mike Miller, PF Udonis Haslem
Rookies = PG Norris Cole
Reason for Optimism = Not as much of the country hates the Heat as they did last year.
            The same depth issues Miami dealt with last season still exist today, but this appears to be the team in pole position to benefit from the return of the players stuck in China. Joel Anthony doesn’t strike fear in anyone (except Lebron when he sets up Anthony with a perfect look-pass only to see Anthony fumble it out of bounds), but imagine if they can add Kenyon Martin for the final month of the year and the playoffs? One of the China guys is going to take less money for a shot at a ring. The only thing that will keep Miami out of the Eastern Conference Finals is the health of Dwyane Wade.

1. Oklahoma City Thunder

A-Level = SF Kevin Durant, PG Russell Westbrook
B-Level = SG James Harden, PF/C Serge Ibaka, C Kendrick Perkins
C-Level = PG Eric Maynor, SG Thabo Sefolosha, SF Daequan Cook, PF Nick Collison, C Nazr Mohammed
Rookies = SG Reggie Jackson (not the MLB Hall-of-Famer)
Reason for Optimism = If there ever was a team prepared to play 66 games in 120 days, it’s this one.
            Oklahoma has so many things going in it’s favor this season that I’ll list all of them in their own bullet point.

-         If James Harden makes the leap to superstardom (which a few experts think is a possibility), the Thunder will be the only team with three elite scorers on its roster.

-         Except for Perkins, Collison, and Mohammed, there isn’t a dude over 25 years old on this team. Young legs will take you far this year.

-         There isn’t a more flexible team in the league right now. These guys can beat you big or small.

-         Eric Maynor would be starting for at least 10 other teams. I’d like to see the Thunder put him and Westbrook in the same backcourt. Imagine a small-ball line up of Maynor-Westbrook-Harden-Durant-Ibaka? Yikes.

-         A full-season of Perkins means a full-season of Serge Ibaka racking up vicious weak-side blocks.

            The only underlying plot that will prevent Oklahoma City from reaching it’s potential is the alpha dog battle between Durant and Westbrook. At some point, Westbrook has to accept that he is Robin to Durant’s Batman. If they can get to the point where they are running the pick and roll together, there will be no stopping Oklahoma City from winning the 2012 NBA Championship.

           

Blowing Up the NBA, Part 1

          I’m sick of the NBA Lockout. I hate the owners for using their leverage to try to hammer the players without little regard for whether or not there is a season this year. I’m sick of the players, who instead of continuing to negotiate after finally getting a fair offer from the owners, decided to disband the players union and take their fight to court. Neither side has come out smelling like roses.
          All the negativity going on with professional basketball has led No Credentials to find a way to have some fun with the NBA. Naturally this resulted in me going into “uber-nerd” mode. I’ve decided to do a fantasy draft for a “new” NBA. Here is how it will work.

1.      I hope none of you are fans of the Raptors, Bobcats, Kings, Grizzlies, Hornets, or Timberwolves, because those teams no longer exist in the No Credentials version of the NBA. It’s now a 24-team league with two 12-team conferences.

    
      2.      Each team is allowed to designate one player from their 2010-11 roster as it’s “keeper”.  

3.      The rest of each team’s roster will be determined in a 15 round draft. Round 1 will be the round each team picks its keeper player. The draft order will be determined by which franchises I deem most important to the NBA (in other words, in a perfect world, the teams the NBA would most benefit from if they are competitive. This mostly has to do with size of the local market, passion of the fan-base, ect.).

4.      Each team will have to stay below a $65 million salary cap. Salaries for each player picked from rounds 1-5 will be based on what is listed as their 2011-12 cap number on ESPN.com. Rounds 6-7 player salaries will be their 2011-12 number or $5 million (whichever is less). Round 8 will be the 2011-12 number or $2.5 million (whichever is less). Rounds 9-10 will be the 2011-12 number or $1 million (whichever is less). Rounds 11-15 will be $500 thousand.

5.      Each club must have a minimum of 12 players on its roster. If a club has spent too much of it’s cap on it’s top-5 picks, it’s limit for rounds 6-10 will be reduced.

            Without further ado, here’s each team’s keeper player for the 2011-12 NBA (as conceived in the delusional mind of No Credentials).

1-1.            Los Angeles Lakers – Kobe Bryant, SG = $25 million – Is he a little long in the tooth? Sure, but Kobe is still one of the most valuable players in the league, and has been the face of the Lakers for years. It would be a slap in the face if L.A. kept Gasol over Bryant.

1-2.            New York Knicks – Carmelo Anthony, SF = $19 million – Gets the nod over Stoudemire because of his more stable health. Hopefully for his sake we’ll build a better rotation around him than what the Knicks came up with last season.

1-3.            Boston Celtics – Rajon Rondo, PG = $10 million – It really kills me to use the Celtics keeper on a point guard who can’t shoot, but his salary combined with his age make him the clear choice over any of the Big 3.

1-4.            Chicago Bulls – Derrick Rose, PG = $7 million – Not that there was really any doubt here, but Rose has one more year on his rookie contract, which gives Chicago plenty of flexibility for the rest of this fake draft.

1-5.            Dallas Mavericks – Dirk Nowitzki, PF = $19 million – The reigning king of the NBA, Dirk probably wouldn’t mind if No Credentials drafts the rest of the 2010-11 Mavericks onto this club.

1-6.            Phoenix Suns – Steve Nash, PG = $12 million – The Suns roster is so barren in terms of young talent that a 37-year old point guard is the clear choice as the clubs lone keeper. We probably won’t see another Sun come off the board until the fourth round.

1-7.            Miami Heat – Lebron James, SF = $16 million – James is three years younger than Wade, plus he doesn’t come with all the injury concerns. Wade probably won’t make it back to Miami in the second round, but that may not be a bad thing.

1-8.            Washington Wizards – John Wall, PG = $6 million – It’s not out of the realm of possibility that Wall follows the same development pattern as Derrick Rose.

1-9.            Portland Trail Blazers – LaMarcus Aldridge, PF = $13 million – Aldridge showed in the second half last season that he can carry a team into the playoffs.

1-10.        Philadelphia 76ers – Andre Iguodala, SF = $14 million – I hate this keeper, but I’m not sure if Evan Turner will ever develop into a franchise player.  

1-11.        San Antonio Spurs – Tim Duncan, PF = $19 million – Keeping Duncan in this scenario doesn’t make much sense in terms of basketball (Duncan is in decline, which is what most athletes are at age 35), but you could argue that Duncan is the face of the Spurs as much (if not more) than Kobe is the face of the Lakers.

1-12.        Golden State Warriors – Stephen Curry, PG = $3 million – The fatal flaw of the Warriors the past two years is the inability of Curry and Monte Ellis to guard opposing backcourts (one of them always gets matched up against a bigger shooting guard and gets manhandled). We’ll fix that problem with this draft.

1-13.        Detroit Pistons – Greg Monroe, C = $3 million – Joe Dumars called and asked if he could forfeit his rights to keep a player and just redraft the entire team, but I told him it wasn’t allowed.

1-14.        Denver Nuggets – Danilo Gallinari, SF = $4 million – Gallinari is a homeless man’s Dirk Nowitzki who could develop into a poor man’s Dirk Nowitzki.

1-15.        Orlando Magic – Dwight Howard, C = $18 million – Even with mid-round picks, I’m guaranteeing I build a better team around Dwight than the Magic have. Still won’t be good enough to keep him from fleeing to Los Angeles though.

1-16.        Los Angeles Clippers – Blake Griffin, PF = $6 million – Here’s video evidence as to why the Blake-show is the clear choice.

1-17.        Cleveland Cavaliers – Kyrie Irving, PG = $5 million – Irving is the only rookie to be kept (remember that the Timberwolves don’t exist anymore in this fake league), which proves once again how terrible the 2011 draft class was.

1-18.        Utah Jazz – Paul Millsap, PF = $8 million – Millsap is 26 years old and makes just over $8 million per year. Al Jefferson is 26 and makes $14 million. We’ll keep Millsap.

1-19.        Houston Rockers – Kevin Martin, SG = $12 million – No club has done a better job of acquiring interesting parts that add up to nothing better than the Houston Rockets.

1-20.        New Jersey Nets – Deron Williams, PG = $16 million – I forgot that Kris Humphries played basketball until I opened up the Nets roster to see what William’s 2012 salary is.

1-21.        Indiana Pacers – Darren Collison, PG = $1 million – You’re not winning a championship with Danny Granger as your best player, so we’ll save $11 million for young prospects.

1-22.        Atlanta Hawks – Josh Smith, SF = $12 million – He can’t shoot, but Smith is a versatile defensive player that can anchor any team on that end of the floor.

1-23.        Oklahoma City Thunder – Kevin Durant, SF = $14 million – We’re not keeping him for his flag football skills.

1-24.        Milwaukee Bucks – Andrew Bogut, C = $12 million – This is another team that probably would’ve liked to pass on a keeper. Bogut gets the nod over Brandon Jennings because he’s seven feet tall, and also because Jennings can’t pass up a shot (kind of a problem when you play point guard).