Blowing Up the NBA, Part 1

          I’m sick of the NBA Lockout. I hate the owners for using their leverage to try to hammer the players without little regard for whether or not there is a season this year. I’m sick of the players, who instead of continuing to negotiate after finally getting a fair offer from the owners, decided to disband the players union and take their fight to court. Neither side has come out smelling like roses.
          All the negativity going on with professional basketball has led No Credentials to find a way to have some fun with the NBA. Naturally this resulted in me going into “uber-nerd” mode. I’ve decided to do a fantasy draft for a “new” NBA. Here is how it will work.

1.      I hope none of you are fans of the Raptors, Bobcats, Kings, Grizzlies, Hornets, or Timberwolves, because those teams no longer exist in the No Credentials version of the NBA. It’s now a 24-team league with two 12-team conferences.

    
      2.      Each team is allowed to designate one player from their 2010-11 roster as it’s “keeper”.  

3.      The rest of each team’s roster will be determined in a 15 round draft. Round 1 will be the round each team picks its keeper player. The draft order will be determined by which franchises I deem most important to the NBA (in other words, in a perfect world, the teams the NBA would most benefit from if they are competitive. This mostly has to do with size of the local market, passion of the fan-base, ect.).

4.      Each team will have to stay below a $65 million salary cap. Salaries for each player picked from rounds 1-5 will be based on what is listed as their 2011-12 cap number on ESPN.com. Rounds 6-7 player salaries will be their 2011-12 number or $5 million (whichever is less). Round 8 will be the 2011-12 number or $2.5 million (whichever is less). Rounds 9-10 will be the 2011-12 number or $1 million (whichever is less). Rounds 11-15 will be $500 thousand.

5.      Each club must have a minimum of 12 players on its roster. If a club has spent too much of it’s cap on it’s top-5 picks, it’s limit for rounds 6-10 will be reduced.

            Without further ado, here’s each team’s keeper player for the 2011-12 NBA (as conceived in the delusional mind of No Credentials).

1-1.            Los Angeles Lakers – Kobe Bryant, SG = $25 million – Is he a little long in the tooth? Sure, but Kobe is still one of the most valuable players in the league, and has been the face of the Lakers for years. It would be a slap in the face if L.A. kept Gasol over Bryant.

1-2.            New York Knicks – Carmelo Anthony, SF = $19 million – Gets the nod over Stoudemire because of his more stable health. Hopefully for his sake we’ll build a better rotation around him than what the Knicks came up with last season.

1-3.            Boston Celtics – Rajon Rondo, PG = $10 million – It really kills me to use the Celtics keeper on a point guard who can’t shoot, but his salary combined with his age make him the clear choice over any of the Big 3.

1-4.            Chicago Bulls – Derrick Rose, PG = $7 million – Not that there was really any doubt here, but Rose has one more year on his rookie contract, which gives Chicago plenty of flexibility for the rest of this fake draft.

1-5.            Dallas Mavericks – Dirk Nowitzki, PF = $19 million – The reigning king of the NBA, Dirk probably wouldn’t mind if No Credentials drafts the rest of the 2010-11 Mavericks onto this club.

1-6.            Phoenix Suns – Steve Nash, PG = $12 million – The Suns roster is so barren in terms of young talent that a 37-year old point guard is the clear choice as the clubs lone keeper. We probably won’t see another Sun come off the board until the fourth round.

1-7.            Miami Heat – Lebron James, SF = $16 million – James is three years younger than Wade, plus he doesn’t come with all the injury concerns. Wade probably won’t make it back to Miami in the second round, but that may not be a bad thing.

1-8.            Washington Wizards – John Wall, PG = $6 million – It’s not out of the realm of possibility that Wall follows the same development pattern as Derrick Rose.

1-9.            Portland Trail Blazers – LaMarcus Aldridge, PF = $13 million – Aldridge showed in the second half last season that he can carry a team into the playoffs.

1-10.        Philadelphia 76ers – Andre Iguodala, SF = $14 million – I hate this keeper, but I’m not sure if Evan Turner will ever develop into a franchise player.  

1-11.        San Antonio Spurs – Tim Duncan, PF = $19 million – Keeping Duncan in this scenario doesn’t make much sense in terms of basketball (Duncan is in decline, which is what most athletes are at age 35), but you could argue that Duncan is the face of the Spurs as much (if not more) than Kobe is the face of the Lakers.

1-12.        Golden State Warriors – Stephen Curry, PG = $3 million – The fatal flaw of the Warriors the past two years is the inability of Curry and Monte Ellis to guard opposing backcourts (one of them always gets matched up against a bigger shooting guard and gets manhandled). We’ll fix that problem with this draft.

1-13.        Detroit Pistons – Greg Monroe, C = $3 million – Joe Dumars called and asked if he could forfeit his rights to keep a player and just redraft the entire team, but I told him it wasn’t allowed.

1-14.        Denver Nuggets – Danilo Gallinari, SF = $4 million – Gallinari is a homeless man’s Dirk Nowitzki who could develop into a poor man’s Dirk Nowitzki.

1-15.        Orlando Magic – Dwight Howard, C = $18 million – Even with mid-round picks, I’m guaranteeing I build a better team around Dwight than the Magic have. Still won’t be good enough to keep him from fleeing to Los Angeles though.

1-16.        Los Angeles Clippers – Blake Griffin, PF = $6 million – Here’s video evidence as to why the Blake-show is the clear choice.

1-17.        Cleveland Cavaliers – Kyrie Irving, PG = $5 million – Irving is the only rookie to be kept (remember that the Timberwolves don’t exist anymore in this fake league), which proves once again how terrible the 2011 draft class was.

1-18.        Utah Jazz – Paul Millsap, PF = $8 million – Millsap is 26 years old and makes just over $8 million per year. Al Jefferson is 26 and makes $14 million. We’ll keep Millsap.

1-19.        Houston Rockers – Kevin Martin, SG = $12 million – No club has done a better job of acquiring interesting parts that add up to nothing better than the Houston Rockets.

1-20.        New Jersey Nets – Deron Williams, PG = $16 million – I forgot that Kris Humphries played basketball until I opened up the Nets roster to see what William’s 2012 salary is.

1-21.        Indiana Pacers – Darren Collison, PG = $1 million – You’re not winning a championship with Danny Granger as your best player, so we’ll save $11 million for young prospects.

1-22.        Atlanta Hawks – Josh Smith, SF = $12 million – He can’t shoot, but Smith is a versatile defensive player that can anchor any team on that end of the floor.

1-23.        Oklahoma City Thunder – Kevin Durant, SF = $14 million – We’re not keeping him for his flag football skills.

1-24.        Milwaukee Bucks – Andrew Bogut, C = $12 million – This is another team that probably would’ve liked to pass on a keeper. Bogut gets the nod over Brandon Jennings because he’s seven feet tall, and also because Jennings can’t pass up a shot (kind of a problem when you play point guard).