Life-Plan for the Celtics

            I’ve always been willing to offer people “life plans”. For example, to a foreign student who was looking to stay here in the United States beyond the date of her work visa, I strongly suggested that she find a man who is in the armed forces and marry him. To make a long story short, I’m full of good ideas. Tonight I’d like to propose a pipe-dream plan for how the Boston Celtics should handle their roster before the start of the 2012-13 season. Here’s what GM Danny Ainge and company need to do.

1. Realize You’re Not Winning a Championship This Year

            Even if they get the ship righted and begin playing competitive basketball again, Boston would at best be the sixth best team in the Eastern Conference. Boston's chances of winning a title are about as good as Katy Perry's chances of acing a calculus exam. Ainge has to see that it’s time to try to get this team better in 3-5 years, not right now. Once that’s realized, here’s the first move…

2. Shop Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen at the Trade Deadline

            Both players are in the year of their contracts, so they would be low-risk rentals for whoever acquired them. Garnett especially would provide tons of cap relief for whoever acquired them. If Boston got any kind of package of young players or draft picks for either Garnett or Allen, they should jump on it.

3. Ban Paul Pierce From Eating Fast Food

            I know Pierce dealt with a heel injury before the start of the season, but did that heel prevent him from lifting weights? Paul looks like he should be starting at right guard for the Patriots instead of small forward for the Celtics.

4. Lock Rondo In A Gym For the Entire Summer Until He’s a Consistent 70% or Better Free Throw Shooter

            It’s okay if you’re best player is an abysmal free throw shooter if he’s playing center or power forward. It’s a totally different story when it’s a point guard who’s responsible for the majority of the ball handling. Rondo doesn’t need to hit 3-pointers (look at the Spurs’ Tony Parker for proof of that), but improved free-throw shooting will go along way in giving Rondo the confidence to drive into the lane.

5. Set the Roster Up For a Shot at a Quality Lottery Pick For the 2013 Draft

            Due to the aging roster, Boston is not high on the list for potential free agents. The Celtics will have all sorts of cap-space this summer with Garnett, Allen, and Jermaine O’Neal (‘s dead body) coming off the books, but there’s no chance that Dwight Howard signs with them. When elite-free agents aren’t willing to take your money, the only thing to do is tank and hope for a top-draft pick. The worst thing you can be in the NBA is a .500 team, which is what Boston will be if they continue riding the Big 4.