MLB Steroids Memories

 

           Yet another steroids scandal got No Credentials thinking (always a dangerous thing)... what are my ten favorite baseball memories? A couple of facts to set the stage before we get to my list.

1. 1995 was my first year as a die-hard sports fan. I was nine years old for 10 months of it.
2. I’ve barely watched baseball over the past five years (fortunately, managing fantasy teams does not require watching real-life games).
3. Pedro Martinez was the man.

          Without further ado…

10. Anaheim Defeats the Giants in “The Steroids Series”

What Happened = San Francisco Choked in Game 6, squandering a 5-0 lead that they carried into the bottom of the seventh inning. Both teams combined to hit 21 home runs in the seven game series (San Francisco hit 14 of them!), with final scores of 11-10 in Game 2 and 16-4 in Game 5.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = If it were ever possible for the answer to this sort of question being 6,000%, this would be time for it. I think Victor Conte was injecting Giants hitters with HGH in the batter’s box. Barry Bonds stat line might have been the peak of his ridiculous steroids run (even surpassing his 73 dinger season), as he put up a .471-4-6- batting line with an OPS of 1.994. Bonds getting robbed of a World Series ring thanks to the Giants bullpen collapse was one of the great karma moments of the 2000’s that we didn’t realize was happening at the time.

Other Memorable Moments = Dusty Baker’s kid almost got run over at home plate (because you know, letting a three year old be the bat boy makes a ton of sense), but was saved by J.T. Snow.

9. Texas Chokes Twice, Giving St. Louis the World Series

What Happened = Ron Washington, higher than a kite on cocaine (just kidding! I think…), used a bunch of weird people to try to close out Game 6 of the 2011 World Series. Naturally, things didn’t work out. St. Louis posted two rallies to tie the game, and went on to take Game 7.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = We’ll go fairly high here, throwing out a number of 65%.

Other Memorable Moments = This is the only time I remember watching a World Series game in the last three years. I just had to use Google to make sure the Giants won last season. 

8. Pedro Delivers a Giant F-U Performance in Tampa Bay

What Happened = Pedro Martinez hit Gerald Williams with his fourth pitch of the night in a late August start in 2000. The following video is what resulted from said hit batter.

            After the dust settled, Martinez went into overdrive, recording 24 consecutive outs before Tampa Bay broke up the no-hit bid with a single in the bottom of the ninth.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = 100%. People don’t get pissed off like that much anymore (unless of course, it involves Zach Greinke), so roid-rage definitely had something to do with it. Also, there is no way Brian Daubach would’ve made it to the Major Leagues without the benefits of performance enhancing drugs.

Other Memorable Moments = It took four attempts (and two pitchers!) by the Devil Rays to finally hit Brian Daubach during his at-bat in the seventh inning.

Forgotten Moniker = Tampa Bay immediately became relevant when they dropped “Devil” from their team name, which is one of the great wins for God of the 2000s.

7. Mark McGwire Hits 50 Home Runs Over the Green Monster in the Home Run Derby

What Happened = Alright, I think he only did it 12 times, but regardless of the quantity, Mark McGwire hit a bunch of fucking baseballs about 500 feet in the Home Run Derby at Fenway Park. Sadly, MLB hasn’t uploaded a video of this event to YouTube yet (couldn’t imagine why), because it was incredible live television. Big Mac didn’t win the Derby, but he was the star of the show.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = Um, you know who Mark McGwire is right? 100%.

Extended Rant = There really isn’t more dated and ignorant television programming from the late-90s and early-00s than the Home Run Derbies. Watching Chris Berman go bonkers as juiceheads like Sosa and McGwire crushed baseballs is retroactively hilarious.

 

6. Josh Beckett Puts the Sox on His Back, J.D. Drew Hits the $13 Million Grand Slam

What Happened = I’m not sure if anyone remembers this, but the Red Sox were down 3 games to 1 in the 2007 ALCS against the Cleveland Indians (this was before Grady Sizemore’s career went off a cliff). Josh Beckett destroyed the Indians in Game 5 (easy to forget that performance the way his career in Boston ended), and then J.D. Drew capped a big first inning in Game 6 with the only quality play he made during his debut season in Boston.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = In the series we’ll have to say 100% (Manny Ramirez was the World Series MVP after all), but with the two guys we mentioned in the headline, I’ll say 10%. J.D. Drew or Beckett didn’t appear to give enough of a shit about baseball to ever put substances in their bodies to improve performance.

Other Memorable Moments = I was playing poker and/or heavily intoxicated during every game of the 2007 ALCS, meaning that the $13 Million Grand Slam and Beckett’s Game 5 are the only things I vividly remember about it.

5. Pedro Martinez Demoralizes Don Zimmer

What Happened = During Game 3 of the 2003 ALCS, Manny Ramirez freaked out about a baseball that was closer to home plate than his face. Chaos ensued, culminating in 146 year-old Don Zimmer going after Pedro Martinez.

 

            All right I lied Zimmer was only 72. Regardless, that’s the high comedy point of the 2003 ALCS.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = 100%, with a hint of Viagra thanks to Zimmer.

Other Memorable Moments = Aaron Boone’s walk-off Game 7 homer (which only happened because Grady Little left Pedro in one inning too long…sigh) was the last stomach punch Red Sox fans took before their epic 2004 title.

Interesting Fact = On the same day as the epic Pedro-Zimmer throw down, I had almost 100 people over my house to celebrate my birthday. That scenario sounds great on paper, but I think only five of the people in attendance knew it was my birthday.

 

4. Mariano Rivera Blows the Save in Game 7 Against Arizona

What Happened = After an epic first six games of the series (remember Derek Jeter earning the nickname Mr. November?), the Hammer of God just needed to get three outs to give the Yankees their fourth straight World Series victory.

            Needless to say, Rivera imploded. A lesser man’s career would’ve gone down the toilet after such a dramatic meltdown. The Hammer of God is not a typical closer.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = 200%. For proof, here’s the statline Luis Gonzalez threw up for the 2001 Arizona Diamondbacks.

BA = .325 (second highest of his career)

HR = 57 (only had one other season where he hit more than 30)
RBI = 142
R = 128
OPS = 1.117 (that’s not a typo)

            Call me a party-pooper, but those numbers are a tad suspicious.

Other Memorable Moments = For my money, the 2001 World Series is the greatest playoff series I’ve ever seen in any professional sport. From Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling (soccer mom) hoisting the Diamondbacks on their backs, to the epic games in New York less than two months after September 11^th, there has never been another series like it since.

Editors Note = I made money off of this series, so my opinion is 100% biased.

 

3. Pedro Martinez Goes Bonkers in the 1999 All-Star Game

What Happened = Pedro nearly throws his right arm off as he strikes out Barry Larkin (Hall of Famer), Larry Walker (fringe Hall candidate, but he was the ’97 NL MVP), Sammy Sosa (Steroids Hall of Famer), Mark McGwire (ditto), and Jeff Bagwell (soon to be Hall of Famer) during the first two innings of the ’99 All Star Game at Fenway Park.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = With Pedro’s opponents, 100%, but as for Pedro himself, I’m saying 0.

2. The Home Run Chase of ‘98

 

What Happened = Reeling from the devastating 1994 strike (that cancelled the World Series, and for all intents and purposes, destroyed the Montreal Expos), Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa dragged MLB back from the depths with their epic pursuit of 61 home runs.

Chances Steroids Were Involved = 800%. McGwire’s whole career was a juiced concoction (he posted a league leading 49 dingers and .987 OPS in his rookie year), and Sosa’s stunning 1998 season was truly remarkable. Sosa was one of the better power-speed combo players of the mid-90s (he posted 30-30 seasons in 1993 and 1995) before morphing into the Dominican version of The Hulk. Here’s the stat line he put up in 1998, with previous career highs in parenthesis.

BA = .308 (.300, 1994)

HR = 66 (40, 1996)
RBI = 158 (119, twice)
OPS = 1.024 (.889, 1996)

1. Boston’s Improbable 2004 World Series Run

What Happened = If you don’t know the story of the 2004 Boston Red Sox, then I don’t understand how you've made it this far into the column.

 

Chances Steroids Were Involved = 8,000%. For grins and giggles, here’s the list of likely juicers from the 2004 ALCS.

Alex Rodriguez

Manny Ramirez
David Ortiz
Mark Bellhorn (remember him?)
Gary Sheffield
Jason Giambi
Andy Pettitte
Dave Roberts (just kidding!)
Bill Mueller (post steroids cycle, his 2003 numbers were ridiculous)

That’s just going from memory. The 2004 Red Sox will probably be the most memorable sports team of my life time, and it wouldn’t of been possible without good old fashioned PEDs.

           

Top 10 Hardest Red Sox Break-Ups

            Last Sunday’s trade of Kevin Youkilis (long overdue, even if the package Boston got back could be best described as a lingering fart) got No Credentials thinking. What were the ten most difficult “breakups” that I’ve had to deal with? Before I reveal the list, I’ll provide some context.

-         I was born in 1985, and didn’t become a diehard sports fan until I was nine, so if you’re in your fifties and get mad that Carlton Fisk isn’t on this list, that’s why.

      -         I tried my best to focus on the disappointment I was feeling as soon as I found out a certain player was leaving, without focusing on the aftermath. All but number nine on this list do a pretty good job of that.

Now on to the list…

10. Carl Everett

            Just kidding!

9. Adrian Beltre

            Beltre only spent one year in Boston, so there wasn’t a great deal of emotional attachment, but this move hurt the logical part of my brain. Coming off a lackluster five seasons playing for the Mariners, Beltre inked a one-year deal with the Red Sox in 2010. He exceeded expectations, batting .321 with 28 dingers, won the AL Silver Slugger Award for third baseman, and made the All-Star team. Rather than re-sign him (because you know, it wouldn’t make any sense to resign a guy who has already proven he can handle playing in Boston), the Red Sox instead chose to spend their money on Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford, and John Lackey. Adrian Gonzalez is currently on pace for about 15 home runs (Beltre is on pace for 30), while Crawford and Lackey have been on the DL all season. Bummer.

8. Wade Boggs

            I’m too young to remember Boggs leaving Boston for the Yankees after the 1992 season, but I think my Dad was bummed out about it. Ironically enough, 1992 was the only season Boggs hit under .300 in a Red Sox uniform (I’m guessing a poor BABIP contributed to a .259 average that season. Either that or he was looking forward to getting the hell out of Boston). For evidence that Boggs may have been under appreciated, here are the batting averages (with on-base percentage in parentheses) Boggs posted from 1985 through 1988.

1985: .368 (.450)

1986: .357 (.453)
1987: .363 (.461)
1988: .366 (.476)    

7. Mo Vaughn

            Mo was David Ortiz before Big Papi ever made it to the big leagues. In his prime, he was a go big or go home hitter who somehow managed to post a .293 career batting average. He always came up huge in big moments (his most memorable Red moment was a walk-off grand slam off of Randy Johnson in an early season comeback against the Mariners), but unfortunately he only got to play in 7 post-season games his entire career. It was a bummer when he left for the Angels in 1999, but at least no one had any false hope that he was going to stay.

6. Roger Clemens

            Clemens is an asshole, so I don’t want to spend too much time on him. Just know that at 11 years old, I was really sad to see him go.

5. Johnny Damon

            Damon was only with the Red Sox for four years, but the goodwill he built up didn’t even make him a full on villain when he left for the Yankees in 2006. It was sad to see him go, but the way the rest of his career has gone proved Theo Epstein right. He wouldn’t have been worth the money the Red Sox would’ve had to fork over to keep him.

4. Manny Ramirez

            Sure Ramirez has had a lot of dirt thrown on him since leaving Boston. Sure the Red Sox placed him on waivers while he was there…twice. Sure he was nearly involved in a blockbuster trade that would’ve brought Alex Rodriguez to the Red Sox in 2004 (remember that?). Sure he was probably juicing during his entire career (who wasn’t?). You want to know what Manny’s postseason batting averages were during the two championship seasons? .348 and .350. The Red Sox have never really been the same since he was traded in July of 2008. 

3. Nomar Garciaparra

            The only thing that would’ve made the 2004 World Series run better for No Credentials is if Nomar could’ve been on the field for the final out in St. Louis. He was drafted right when I started becoming a die-hard sports fan. He came up and won rookie of the year. For a five-year stretch, it was a legitimate debate whether or not him, Alex Rodriguez, or Derek Jeter was the best shortstop in baseball. If he wasn’t so brittle, I’m certain he would’ve reached 3,000 hits. Lastly, numerous pets owned by friends of mine in junior high school were named Nomar. I was heavily intoxicated when word of his trade to Chicago broke, so this trade crushed me. 

2. Jonathan Papelbon

            The picture above shows everything I love and miss about Papelbon. At least I can still root for him because he’s on my keeper league team.

1. Pedro Martinez

            If you could teleport a “in his prime” Pedro Martinez to 2012, what would his ERA and WHIP be? 1.25 and 0.50? 1999-2003 Pedro was appointment television (his dominating two-inning stint in the 1999 All-Star Game against a lineup of Jersey Shore-like guerilla juice heads being the most memorable, other than of course throwing 102-year old Don Zimmer to the ground in the 2003 ALCS). He was a bit of a liability during the 2004 World Series run (remember him calling the Yankees “my daddy”?), but delivered a vintage Pedro performance in Game 3 to help Boston stomp the life out of the Cardinals. Pitchers like Pedro come along once in a generation.   

Why I Could Care Less About the Red Sox and MLB

            At the time I’m starting to write this, it’s been roughly 22 hours since the completion of the most epic collapse in baseball history. My interest in baseball has been waning considerably over the past four years, but Wednesday night’s events were enough to suck me back in (EDITORS NOTE: By sucked back in, I mean following the nights action through my fantasy baseball team, because my keeper league team was in position to win a championship. Sadly, my fantasy team is more important than the Red Sox. More on that later). While Papelbon was throwing batting practice fastballs down the heart of the plate, one question kept popping into my head… why don’t I care?

              Longer than I remember, I always was a Red Sox fan. Somehow in my early years, Mike Greenwell was my favorite player (a career .303 hitter, 130 homers, 726 RBIs). Perhaps it was his 1988 season where he finished second to Jose Canseco in the AL MVP voting that sucked me in, although I was three years old in 1988, so I doubt I had much of an understanding of that sort of thing. Ages 10-13 are when my sports interest began increasing exponentially by the day, which was right at the beginning of the Nomar-Pedro era. The most enjoyable sports viewing experience of my life was the 2004 playoff run, with games four and five of the ALCS standing out the most. Over a 30-hour period, it felt like the Sox and Yankees played for 15 of them. It was truly magical stuff (years later we would find out that a lot of it was scientific stuff due to the amount of steroids that were used by both teams, but we didn’t know that at the time). Sadly though, my love of baseball and the Red Sox is on life support. In no particular reason, here are the reasons why I could’ve given a rat’s ass if Boston won or lost this past Wednesday.

- Baseball Games Take Too Long (most of the time)

            This one really hit home during the 2010 World Cup. I’m not much of a soccer guy, but I knew that when a game started at 2pm, the game would be over in roughly two hours. Baseball purists will argue that the beauty of America’s pastime is that the game could literally go on forever, but it’s a problem when games actually feel like they will last forever. Especially since the “Moneyball” method has become the predominant approach of major league clubs (working the pitch count to draw walks and wear down opposing pitchers), you’re lucky to see a Red Sox-Yankees game that takes under three hours. Call me a stick in the mud, but I’m at a point in life where I like to have a good idea of when something is going to end.

- The Economic Structure of Baseball is Broken

            Last year, the Super Bowl winning team came from a town with an estimated population of 104,057. If a baseball team were in Green Bay, it would be lucky to have a payroll over $20 million. The only chance this fictional Green Bay baseball team would have of competing would be to nail the draft for two or three years, and then hope all of the prospects hit the majors at the same time for a two year window before they are all eligible for free agency and sign with other teams for more money. Call me crazy, but I’ll take the economics of the NFL (where cities like Green Bay and Kansas City have enjoyed success) over MLB everyday and twice on Sunday.  And to spin it back to my issues with the Red Sox, how am I supposed to feel bad that a team that spent $100 million less than them overtook them for a wildcard spot?

- Fantasy Baseball is Much More Interesting

            A selfish reason, but the bottom line is I was much happier about Evan Longoria’s September in regards to my fantasy team than I was bummed out about his performance leading Tampa over the Red Sox.

- I Don’t Have Enough Time to Follow 162 Games

            Back in junior high school, there wasn’t a sports event that I missed. As I’ve gotten older though, I’ve had to cross a few things off the list. College football was the first to go because of working every Saturday during high school. The lack of a playoff combined with the corruption across the major programs make me very happy about that decision. NHL was next thanks to the lockout and the games being on a network that I didn’t have for four years (look for a huge NHL comeback in the Muir household this season though. Stupid NBA). With working full-time and having a family, I can’t make the time to watch well over 20 hours of Red Sox baseball per week. It would be one thing if the game was more entertaining, but we’ll leave that discussion for the next bullet point.

- Steroids Era Baseball Was Better

            I’m in the minority (although maybe not based on the major decline in MLB television Ratings and attendance), but I loved steroids baseball. Watching Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, and Barry Bonds blast 500+ foot home runs was breathtaking. I don’t care what chemicals they used to hit them. Remember McGwire in the 1999 Home Run Derby at Fenway Park? I’d link to the video of it, but MLB is dumb and won’t allow their videos uploaded on YouTube. You’ll just have to trust me that it was damn good television.

- I Have Little Respect For the “Dominance” of Pitching

            For any moron that wants to blame the decline in offense on the “great depth” of pitching in baseball today, I’d first like to show you the stats Greg Maddux put up during his prime (his final year with the Cubs and first six with Atlanta).

YR	GP	CG	SHO	IP	W	L	SO	ERA	WHIP
1992	35	9	4	268	20	11	199	2.18	1.01
1993	36	8	1	267	20	10	197	2.36	1.05
1994	25	10	3	202	16	6	156	1.56	0.90
1995	28	10	3	209.2	19	2	181	1.63	0.81
1996	35	5	1	245	15	11	172	2.72	1.03
1997	33	5	2	232.2	19	4	177	2.20	0.95
1998	34	9	5	251	18	9	204	2.22	0.98

            Next, let’s take a look at Pedro Martinez from 1997 (his final season with Montreal) through his first six seasons with the Red Sox.

YR	GP	CG	SHO	IP	W	L	SO	ERA	WHIP
1997	31	13	4	241.1	17	8	305	1.90	0.93
1998	33	3	2	233.2	19	7	251	2.89	1.09
1999	31	5	1	213.1	23	4	313	2.07	0.92
2000	29	7	4	217	18	6	284	1.74	0.74
2001	18	1	0	116.2	7	3	163	2.39	0.93
2002	30	2	0	199.1	20	4	239	2.26	0.92
2003	29	3	0	186.2	14	4	206	2.22	1.04

            Keep in mind that these two men were pitching against guerilla juiceheads that can now only be found on “Jersey Shore”. Pitching against the chem.-free hitters of today, Pedro and Maddux probably could have sub 1.00 ERAs.

            Thanks to Terry Francona for letting his pitchers get wasted in the clubhouse on their days off. Thanks to Carl Crawford for woefully underachieving (the poor guy should’ve signed with Anaheim. Money isn’t everything). Thanks to the Boston season mercifully ending, I will watch football on Sundays in peace, which is what I would’ve done anyway, but now four percent of me won’t feel guilty about ignoring the Sox.