10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (4/5-4/7)

10. Rob Gronkowski Needs Further Surgery
           No word yet on whether or not Gronkowski’s infection originated from an Irish pub, a strip club, or a house party.

9. Cubs Strip Carlos Marmol of Closer Role

            Is two days the shortest leash a closer has ever had in MLB history?

8. Louisville Women Join Men’s Team in Championship Game

7. Connecticut Finally Beats Notre Dame, Makes Women’s Title Game
            I could give a shit about women’s basketball, but I had a hard enough digging for seven things to put on this list, so filling two spots here is worth the plug for women’s hoops.

6. Jimmie Johnson Dominates Martinsville

            No Credentials has a hard team thinking of a race he looks forward to less than one at the track that Jimmie Johnson dominates at more than any other.

5. Clippers Clobber Los Angeles
            I’m not sure which stat is more incredible, that the Clippers won their first division title in franchise history, or that they swept the Lakers for the first time since 1974-75. 

4. Carmelo Continues Going Bonkers, Leads Knicks to Win in OKC

            New York is looking more like the team that started the year as the greatest threat to the Heat in the Eastern Conference.

3. Will Middlebrooks Racks Up 3 Dingers
            For those not in the know, that’s a lot of fucking home runs.

2. Michigan Tries to Choke, Hangs on to Beat Syracuse
            All Syracuse needed was a Michigan player to do a Chris Webber and call a time-out they didn’t have to push the Orange into the Championship Game.

1. Down 12, Louisville Rallies Past Wichita St.

            If my bracket is any indication, the following prediction is probably awful, but No Credentials sees Louisville winning by double digits tonight.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (3/29-3/31)

10. Dallas Cowboys Give Tony Romo a Bunch of Cash
            Evidently, one playoff win in seven seasons is worth $108 million. Somewhere on Earth, Tom Brady threw up in his mouth when he heard of this signing.

9. Miami Heat Sit Lebron and Wade Against Spurs

            The last team these two teams met, Greg Popovich sat his best players and earned a $100,000 fine. I don’t think the Heat will suffer the same fate.

8. Sidney Crosby Takes a Puck IN THE FACE

            Normally an injury to the best player in the world wouldn’t make the list, but at least he didn’t suffer a concussion. Crosby will be back for the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

7. Houston Astros Win First Game in the American League
            Good for them, because this is likely the most games over .500 the Astros will be all season.

6. Syracuse Suffocates Marquette Makes Final 4

            Marquette should be embarrassed to only put up 39 points in a regional final.

5. Baylor Women Lose in Sweet 16
            Easter Sunday was a tough day for those of you that like watching tall women dunk.

4. Michigan Pulls Off Improbable Sweet 16 Overtime Win Over Kansas

            The Wolverines, which looked like a team that could easily be beaten by #13 South Dakota St., have suddenly caught fire on their way to the Final 4.

3. Wichita St. Knocks Out Annoying White Point Guard For Ohio State, Makes Final Four
            No one will miss Aaron Kraft than CBS announcer Clark Kellogg.

2. Louisville Crushes Duke
            Impressive effort by the tournament’s top seed, which had to overcome watching a teammate suffer a compound fracture.

1. Andrea Dies on “The Walking Dead”

            Thank goodness she croaked, otherwise this would’ve been a completely worthless season finale.