NBA Season Wrap-Up = The NBA Finalists

2. Miami Heat
No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 1
Fantasy MVP = Lebron James (duh)
            After being dismantled by the Spurs, it’s clear that Miami needs a reboot. What that entails is unclear, with The Big 1 featuring Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh having the option to test free agency this summer. Ultimately, everything hinges on what Lebron James decides to do. It’s unclear how much communication James has had with Wade or Bosh on this issue, as we predict there’s a 50-50 chance they do the same thing in unison. If Lebron acts on his own and decides to test the waters, we expect both Wade and Bosh to resign in Miami, as the only way they are getting another long-term deal is if it’s at a reduced pay rate. Our money is on that scenario occurring, with the Heat looking to horde cap space for the 2015 (when both Wade and Bosh come off the books) free agent class.
            In a vacuum, it would make the most sense for all three to opt out, with Lebron resigning for the max, Wade re-upping at reduced rate (think something along the lines of the $10.5 million Tim Duncan earned this year), and Bosh landing somewhere in between. It’s unlikely Carmelo Anthony joins forces with them (would make way more sense for him to go to Houston with Dwight Howard as his rim protector), but reducing Wade and Bosh’s salary would give the Heat to the opportunity to replenish their depleted bench. Ray Allen is an unrestricted free agent mulling retirement (can we get him on a plane to O.K.C?), Shane Battier is officially retired, and the Birdman/Haslem combo is probably on it’s last leg. We’re predicting that this summer will almost be as crazy as “The Decision”.



 



1. San Antonio Spurs

No Credentials Pre-Season Rank = 3
Fantasy MVP = Tim Duncan (seriously efficient in only 29 minutes per game)
            More than any other team in recent memory, San Antonio played the game of basketball as well as any club ever has in a NBA Finals. Normally rotations or shrunk, and star players are needed to carry a team to the promised land, but the Spurs were unselfish to the perfect extent, ending most possessions with open threes or quality looks in the paint.
            We’re operating under the assumption Tim Duncan and Greg Popovich will both return, which means the majority of the Spurs championship roster will remain in intact. Boris Diaw and Patty Mills are the only key contributors entering unrestricted free agency (sorry Matt Bonner), but with the salary cap expected to rise above $70 million, we’re expecting Diaw to return. Mills should’ve earned himself a starting gig somewhere with his performance in the playoffs (Indiana could sure use a point guard), but that wouldn’t be a devastating loss for the Spurs. The Western Conference will still be ridiculous next season, but with Kawhi Leonard’s Conference Finals MVP performance ushering the next generation of Spurs greats, we expect the Spurs to be in the thick of the title hunt again.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (5/23-5/25)

10. Manny Ramirez Signed as Player Coach For Cubs Minor League Team
            I don’t doubt that Manny Ramirez is a true student of hitting, but his ability to teach younger players his methods is something to keep an eye on. Ramirez was one of the more eccentric players in his day, so we’re not sure a typical minor leaguer will understand his tips.

9. Rory McIlroy Makes Stunning 7-Shot, Final Round Comeback

            “I ditched the bitch, and now I can win golf tournaments.” – Rory McIlroy’s comments after winning the BMW PGA Championship.

            Alright, he didn’t actually say that, but he should’ve.

8. Heat Win Rock Fight Against Pacers
            It literally felt like Ray Allen was the only person in the arena that could properly shoot a basketball. Game 4 is a must win for the Pacers.

7. Nico Rosberg Claims Second Straight Monaco Grand Prix
            Even better, Lewis Hamilton spent the majority of the weekend complaining about his fellow Mercedes driver. One of the most underrated things in all of sports is a Formula One rivalry developing between teammates.

6. Los Angles Kings Take Game 3 Over Defending Champs

            The Kings acquisition of Marion Gaborik at the trade deadline should go down as the transaction of the year, as Los Angles’ offense looks totally different than it did in the regular season. 

5. Josh Beckett Throws First No-Hitter of 2014

            Big news…Beckett cares this year!

4. Serge Ibaka’s Comeback Sparks Game 3 Rout For Oklahoma City

            I guess Ibaka should’ve been the MVP of the league.
        
3. Jimmie Johnson Ends Winless Streak
            Johnson has had multiple chances to get in the win column this season, and was finally able to breakthrough with a late race pass of Matt Kenseth.
         
2. Martin St. Louis Nets Overtime Winner, Gives Rangers 3-1 Series Lead
            St. Louis’ inspired play since the death of his mother has New York on the verge of its first Stanley Cup Finals appearance since 1994.

1. Ryan Hunter-Reay Wins Second Closest Indianapolis 500

            It’s a good thing Hunter-Reay was able to hold off Helio Castroneves, otherwise the world wouldn’t of got to see his young son celebrate with him in a matching fire suit.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (11/2-11/4)

10. NHL Cancels the Winter Classic
            You can kiss the 2012-13 season goodbye with the announcement that their biggest moneymaking event (even more so than the Stanley Cup Finals) has been eliminated.

9. The Hammer of God Will Return

            It would’ve been a shame for Mariano Rivera’s career to end while shagging foul balls in batting practice.

8. Fear the Beard

            James Harden’s start with the Houston Rockets would’ve been #3 on this list if it weren’t for him running out of gas against Portland Saturday night, mostly because he’s on both of my fantasy teams.

7. Jimmie Johnson Wins Slugfest Over Brad Keselowski at Texas

            Let it be known that Keselowski had this race in the bag if he didn’t slide too far into his pit box with 58 laps to go. Who know that pitting behind Danica Patrick could be so treacherous.

6. Oregon and USC Combine for 113 Points

            For those unfamiliar with the game of football, that’s a lot of fucking points.

5. Ray Allen Completes Game-Winning Four Point Play

            Allen’s game-winning shot was a sum of all fears play for the rest of the NBA. Lebron James drove to the basket, Allen’s man left to help, and James hit him for a wide-open three. Allen doesn’t even need to move on this team.
          
4. Lori and T-Dog Bite the Dust on “The Walking Dead”
            If we can get confirmation that Carol croaked, that’s the three most unlikable characters killed off. The only thing that would've made Sunday's episode better was Lori's fetus being a zombie and eating her from the inside. 

3. Notre Dame Prevails in Triple Overtime
            There isn’t a more compelling team week-to-week in college football than Notre
Dame. Expect the fun to last two more weeks before they get their doors blown off by USC.

2. Down 10 in the Fourth, Steelers Make a Statement Against Giants
            Ben Roethlisberger served Eli Manning a piece of his own medicine, engineering some fourth quarter magic. Pittsburgh has reestablished themselves as legitimate Super Bowl contenders.

1. Alabama Makes Stunning Comeback at LSU

            Les Miles was the unofficial MVP of the game for Alabama. If it wasn’t for multiple horrendous decisions, LSU pulls off the upset.

No Credentials Mailbag 8-6-12

            It was around 11:30pm, and after a long day at work I was checking my Facebook before bed. This is the message that greeted me…

Hey Dick, what's holding up the G.D. mail bag? Are you in a writers drought? Is the wife or child sick? Did you fall off the grape soda truck? Are you having a bad fucking hair week? Suck it the fuck up Hero and get on it. It pains me to have to fall back on my "not civilian" tactics and to think that you are utilizing the "God gave me freedom" excuses. But I know where to find you. And Big Brother has yet to take my arsenal. As always, I'm here to help w/ the required motivation.
Legion6T standing by. – Ryan B, Kearsarge, NH

            I guess that means it’s time for a mailbag. As always, these are real or made up questions from real or fake people.

I remember one of the things you were excited about heading into 2012 was “The Dark Knight Rises”. Assuming you’ve seen it already, what do you think? – Davey, Leesburg, VA

            We’ll hit this one in bullet points.

-         Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman, who No Credentials predicted would ruin the movie, was actually the best character in the whole film. Biggest upset of the year.

-         Bane was the only villain they could’ve picked for this final film. Foes like The Riddler or The Penguin would’ve only been lesser versions of Heath Ledger’s Joker. Bane was the only realistic character they could’ve used that would’ve provided a physical threat to Batman. I like how they tied Bane’s back-story with the first movie, adding more depth than he was given in the comics. His voice was a bit out there (Grantland’s Chris Ryan compared it to “a drunk Captain Picard”), but all in all Tom Hardy did a good job with the part.

-         There were a few more plot oversights than the first two. The stock exchange accepting a transaction supposedly done by Bruce Wayne while Bane and his minions attacked the Stock Exchange (cameras couldn’t of proven that Bruce Wayne didn’t do that, no way). Bruce Wayne getting his broken vertebrae fixed by a prison inmate who used rope and a swift punch to the back. Bruce Wayne climbing out of a giant hole in the desert, somehow finding an airplane in India, paying for a ticket that he couldn’t afford because he was bankrupt, and returning to Gotham City within 24 hours of climbing out of said hole. For a series that prided itself on bringing realism to comic-book movies, these plot holes are a little far fetched.

-         All in all, I thought it was good, although I still prefer “The Dark Knight” and “Batman Begins”. It’s fair to say that this movie is the equivalent of “The Return of the Jedi”. It tied up most loose ends, and proved to be an appropriate end to the trilogy.

Will Jerry Jones get himself some glory hole this year? – Mike S., Keene, NH

            Dallas has all the pieces of a championship winning team, which means they’ll end up right around .500 like they usually do. That’s the official party line of a depressed Cowboys fan.

So let’s say the NASCAR season ends, and if the old points system was in place, Dale Earnhardt Jr. would’ve been the champion, but since it’s The Chase format, someone else takes it from him. Will that end the NASCAR playoffs? – Alexis, Round Rock, TX

            I doubt it, but that would probably be the only situation that would threaten the existence of a NASCAR playoff. The problem with that argument would be that if there wasn’t a Chase, wouldn’t teams change the way they plan for races? There’s a lot more gambling for wins now during the “regular” season, and less focus on week-to-week consistency. I doubt that Junior would be the top ranked driver right now if there wasn’t a playoff (I think Jimmie Johnson would be on top). Regardless, the merit of a NASCAR playoff is questionable enough even without the doomsday scenario of Dale Jr. losing a title. The whole point of The Chase was to boost interest during the Fall, but the NFL still crushes NASCAR. I’d do away with it, if only to appeal to old fans that no longer watch due to all of the changes and watering down of the drivers.

Jerry Garcia would’ve been 70 this past Friday. Isn’t that crazy? – The Spaceman, Ft. Lauderdale, FL

            Ya. He looked like he was 102 when he died, so I would’ve thought he’d be much older than 70.

Where’s the No Credentials Olympics Coverage? No talk about Michael Phelps, or Gabby Douglas? Come on man! – Danielle, Montpelier, VT

            I’m going to title the following response…

AN UNPOPULAR OPINION

            I hate the Olympics. I think most of the sports are stupid. People run by my front window all the time, so I don’t give a shit how fast someone can run 200 meters. I can go to my local swimming hole and watch people swim, so I don’t give a shit who the fastest backstroker (if that wasn’t a word, it is now) is. I don’t give a shit if the United States (the country with the most nuclear weapons on Earth) beats Nigeria (#31 in terms of GDP) by 83 points at basketball. Sure Usain Bolt is fast (okay, really fast. He just ran a 9.68 in the 100 meters, which I’m pretty sure is faster than my car could accelerate from a dead stop in 100 meters), but can he run full-speed with football pads on and evade tacklers? My only fond memory of an Olympic event (other than the hockey tournament in the Winter Olympics, which is fantastic) was one of the swimming relay races in 2008, and that was because I was at a bar and heavily intoxicated. I haven’t watched a second of this year’s Olympics, and don’t plan to during the next week.

How long will it take the Celtics to get over Ray Allen taking less money to join the Heat? – Alex, Dorchester, MA

            Doc Rivers and the players might not be over it yet (read Paul Pierce’s take here), but management has already moved on, and fans should too. Let’s review what happened this off-season.

1. Avery Bradley has been promoted to the starting shooting guard role, meaning Ray Allen would’ve been coming off the bench.
2. Jason Terry was signed, meaning Allen would lose even more minutes to him.
3. Only after resigning Kevin Garnett, Brandon Bass, and inking Terry, did Boston make an offer to Ray Allen.

         So essentially, after trimming his probable minutes to nothing more than 20 points per game, Boston throws out whatever money they had left to Allen. I think Danny Ainge knew Ray was going to leave all along. That offer was to ease the backlash from fans and the press. 

Did Jenna Jameson sway your presidential vote? – Ron J., Las Vegas, NV

            No, but I’m hoping Mitt Romney uses her words in a commercial. Here’s the direct quote…

"I'm very looking forward to a Republican being back in office," Jameson said while sipping champagne in a VIP room at Gold Club in the city's South of Market neighborhood. "When you're rich, you want a Republican in office."

            There’s the number one contender in the award for “Best Unintentional Back-Handed Compliment of 2012”.

So the Red Sox stink. What should I do? – Johnny, Lee, MA

            Go outdoors. Spend time with you’re family. Watch movies. You only need to get through another month before football starts, which will truly get this dogshit Red Sox team out of everyone’s mind. I watched Friday night’s game from the third inning on. I understand David Ortiz is hurt, but is Ryan Lavarnway really the best option to hit fifth? Or Cody Ross third? No wonder there are empty seats at Fenway now.

Ok Wrench, let's climb into my roller coaster for this round of M.B. Questions.
I would like the following answered in laymen's terms. I'm not looking for the Google/ Siri / Wikipedia answer. I'm looking for the "Sitting on the Tailgate drinking a cold beer in a sweaty T-Shirt" answer.
The Bullpen,
#1. What is it? Why do Baseball teams have it? Where is it? Could we take a group of kids on a field trip to visit it? Is it a requirement at all Baseball facilities? Is going to the "pen" a disciplinary action, or do people want to go to the "pen"? (as civilians going to the "pen" is often frowned on and not something one would consider a positive activity)
#2. If not covered in #1, why is it called a Bullpen? Is it because it sounds better than say, a Dog or Pig pen?
Please remember the Tailgate and cold beer while answering this seemingly simple multi layered question.
Legion6T standing by. – Ryan B., Kearsarge, NH

            I’m not a huge fan of the “no search engine” format, but at least this question is in my wheelhouse. For whatever reason, “the bullpen” is the name of the place that relief pitchers hang out during games. It’s needed for baseball teams because apparently, they can’t build dugouts big enough for the relief pitchers to sit in with the position players.
            As for why it’s called a bullpen, I have no idea. I guess it’s referring to the pitchers that are in there as bulls, which is funny because most of them are out of shape guys that fart, chew tobacco, and talk about whatever skank they hooked up with during their team’s last west coast trip during games. The name of the pen should refer to something more lazy and lethargic (the fat dog kennel?). Or it should just be called “the bench”, like every other place in sports where players who aren’t in the game are sitting is called.

Life-Plan for the Celtics

            I’ve always been willing to offer people “life plans”. For example, to a foreign student who was looking to stay here in the United States beyond the date of her work visa, I strongly suggested that she find a man who is in the armed forces and marry him. To make a long story short, I’m full of good ideas. Tonight I’d like to propose a pipe-dream plan for how the Boston Celtics should handle their roster before the start of the 2012-13 season. Here’s what GM Danny Ainge and company need to do.

1. Realize You’re Not Winning a Championship This Year

            Even if they get the ship righted and begin playing competitive basketball again, Boston would at best be the sixth best team in the Eastern Conference. Boston's chances of winning a title are about as good as Katy Perry's chances of acing a calculus exam. Ainge has to see that it’s time to try to get this team better in 3-5 years, not right now. Once that’s realized, here’s the first move…

2. Shop Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen at the Trade Deadline

            Both players are in the year of their contracts, so they would be low-risk rentals for whoever acquired them. Garnett especially would provide tons of cap relief for whoever acquired them. If Boston got any kind of package of young players or draft picks for either Garnett or Allen, they should jump on it.

3. Ban Paul Pierce From Eating Fast Food

            I know Pierce dealt with a heel injury before the start of the season, but did that heel prevent him from lifting weights? Paul looks like he should be starting at right guard for the Patriots instead of small forward for the Celtics.

4. Lock Rondo In A Gym For the Entire Summer Until He’s a Consistent 70% or Better Free Throw Shooter

            It’s okay if you’re best player is an abysmal free throw shooter if he’s playing center or power forward. It’s a totally different story when it’s a point guard who’s responsible for the majority of the ball handling. Rondo doesn’t need to hit 3-pointers (look at the Spurs’ Tony Parker for proof of that), but improved free-throw shooting will go along way in giving Rondo the confidence to drive into the lane.

5. Set the Roster Up For a Shot at a Quality Lottery Pick For the 2013 Draft

            Due to the aging roster, Boston is not high on the list for potential free agents. The Celtics will have all sorts of cap-space this summer with Garnett, Allen, and Jermaine O’Neal (‘s dead body) coming off the books, but there’s no chance that Dwight Howard signs with them. When elite-free agents aren’t willing to take your money, the only thing to do is tank and hope for a top-draft pick. The worst thing you can be in the NBA is a .500 team, which is what Boston will be if they continue riding the Big 4.

Blow-Out the Budget 2011-12 NBA Preview

            No Credentials spent (way too much) time reviewing every roster in the NBA. Here are the qualifications for the three levels of players we assigned.

A-Level = A man capable of being the best player on a championship contending team with the right personal around him, or a player with the potential to be that type of guy.

B-Level = A man capable of being the second, third, or fourth best player on a championship contending team, or a player with A-Level talent that has personality traits that prevent them from reaching that level.

C-Level = Players capable of delivering 15-25 solid minutes off the bench, or former A and B-Level players that have slight chances of bouncing back.

30. Charlotte Bobcats

A-Level = None
B- Level = SF/PF/C Boris Diaw
C- Level = PG D.J. Augustin, SF Corey Maggette
Rookies = PG Kemba Walker, C Bismack Biyombo
Reason for Optimism = Probable top-5 pick in loaded 2012 Draft.
            Michael Jordan wasn’t a hard-line owner in the lockout because he cared about the economics of the NBA. I think he just wanted to cancel the season so no one would have to see his crappy team attempt to play basketball. It would be wise for Charlotte to give plenty of minutes to Kemba Walker to see if he is a viable NBA player. His size forces him to play the point, but he doesn’t have the natural passing instincts of Stephen Curry to make the transition be as smooth.

29. Cleveland Cavaliers

A-Level = None
B-Level = PF Antawn Jamison, C Anderson Varejao
C-Level = PG/SG Ramon Sessions
Rookies = PG Kyrie Irving, PF Tristan Thompson
Reason for Optimism = New foundation is under construction.
            I don’t see Kyrie Irving developing to a point where he is on the level of a Paul/Rose/Williams type player, but Irving could eventually be the second or third best player on a contending team. Odds are Cleveland will end up with another high first round pick for 2012. A core of Irving, Tristan Thompson (who looks like a project player at this point, but could be a force in two or three seasons, and one of the top rookies from the 2012 class will be something for Cavs fans to look forward too. Flipping Varejao and Jamison to contending teams for future draft picks would speed the rebuilding process even more.

28. Detroit Pistons

A-Level = None
B-Level = SG Ben Gordon, C Greg Monroe
C-Level = PG/SG Rodney Stuckey, SF Tayshaun Prince, SF Austin Daye, PF Charlie Villanueva
Rookies = PG Brandon Knight, C Vernon Macklin
Reason for Optimism = They have to fire Joe Dumars soon…right?
            If the NBA title were awarded to the team that acquired the most mediocre players that play the same positions, Detroit would easily be the championship favorites. Joe Dumars is like the owner in your fantasy football league who drafts two quarterbacks in the first four rounds. Resigning Tayshaun Prince will only take away minutes from promising youngsters like Austin Daye. 

27. Toronto Raptors

A-Level = None
B-Level = SG DeMar DeRozan, PF Andrea Bargnani
C-Level = PG Jose Calderon, PG Jerryd Bayless, SG Leandro Barbosa, PF Amir Johnson, C Ed Davis
Rookies = None
Reason for Optimism = The Maples Leafs are back!
            My wife loves DeMar DeRozan. She drafted him in the sixteenth round in our fantasy draft last year. She loves that he has two capital letters in the middle of his first and last name. She loves that he didn’t use props or gimmicks in last years dunk contest, and then called out the people who did. Needless to say, it wasn’t surprising that she took DeRozan about 25 picks earlier than she needed to in our draft this past Sunday.

26. Washington Wizards

A-Level = PG John Wall
B-Level = C JaVale McGee
C-Level = SG Nick Young, SF Rashard Lewis, PF Andray Blatche
Rookies = SF Jan Vesely, PG Shelvin Mack, SF Chris Singleton
Reason for Optimism = Jan Vesely’s girlfriend.
            John Wall should take a major step forward in his development, but there isn’t enough talent around him to fully take advantage of it. Washington would be wise to tank the season in order to get a second banana for Wall (think a Harrison Barnes, Anthony Davis type player).

25. Phoenix Suns

A-Level = None
B-Level = PG Steve Nash, PF Channing Frye, C Marcin Gortat
C-Level = SG/SF Jared Dudley, SG Shannon Brown, SF Grant Hill, C Robin Lopez
Rookies = PF Markieff Morris
            This looks like the year the Phoenix Suns will finally hit rock bottom. Nash still has the ability to make everyone on the court with him better, but it’s going to be a challenge for him to hold up through the condensed schedule. I don’t see a guy on this roster that will be able to get his own shot (unless Shannon Brown has some skills we don’t know about). Hopefully for the sake of Nash the Suns have the decency to ship him to a contender.

24. Milwaukee Bucks

A-Level = None
B- Level = PG Brandon Jennings, SG Stephen Jackson, C Andrew Bogut
C-Level = SG Mike Dunleavy, SF Carlos Delfino, SF Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, PF Drew Gooden
Rookies = SF Tobias Harris, PF Jon Leuer
Reason for Optimism = Greg Jennings will be back after the bye!
            Milwaukee plays real hard defense, but had a terrible time trying to score last season. I’ll be polite and say that Brandon Jennings’ shot selection was questionable. He’ll benefit from having Stephen Jackson on the team, which hopefully well allow him to stay out of hero mode on a nightly basis. The only thing that will save the Bucks from lottery-ville will be Andrew Bogut returning to his 2009-10 form (pre-elbow injury).

23. New Jersey Nets

A-Level = PG Deron Williams
B-Level = C Brook Lopez (out 4-10 weeks), PF Kim Kardashian’s Ex-Husband…oh I’m sorry he has a name…Kris Humphries
C-Level = PG Jordan Farmar, SG Anthony Morrow, SF/PF Shawne Williams, C Mehmet Okur
Rookies = SG Marshon Brooks, C Jordan Williams
Reason for Optimism = A couple of months of Dwight Howard trade rumors before he ends up with the Lakers.
            I wrote a couple of flattering things about the Nets a couple of nights ago (and a joke about how they could trade Brook Lopez and a bag of dog poop for Dwight Howard), but now Lopez will probably miss at least half of the regular season. Ouch.

22. Philadelphia 76ers

A-Level = None
B-Level = PG Jrue Holiday, SF Andre Iguodala, SF Thaddeus Young, PF Elton Brand
C-Level = PG Louis Williams, SG Evan Turner, SG Jodie Meeks, C Spencer Hawes
Rookies = PF Lavoy Allen, C Nikola Vucevic
Reason for Optimism = What will they get when they move Andre Iguodala?
            I’d like this group a lot more if this were a normal season, but can’t see Elton Brand holding up long. He’s not a guy that’s capable to survive a nine games in twelve days type stretch. My two main objectives this season if I were running the 76ers would be to see if Evan Turner can morph into a franchise player (he didn’t appear to have that potential last season), and then find a suitor for Andre Iguodala. Iguodala would be a valuable defensive force on a playoff team, but isn’t suiting to being your squad’s best player. He’s the classic “B-Level Guy Being Asked to be an A-Level Guy” example.

21. New Orleans Hornets

A-Level = SG Eric Gordon
B-Level = C Emeka Okafor, PF/C Chris Kaman
C-Level = PG Jarrett Jack, SF Trevor Ariza, SF Al-Farouq Aminu
Rookies = None
Reason for Optimism = David Stern is going to rig the draft so the Hornets end up with the top-2 picks next year.
            Gordon is poised for a monster season (think 27 points per game), but unfortunately there just isn’t enough around him this season for the Hornets to make the playoffs. Expect guys like Ariza or Kaman to eventually get flipped for future assets, and also expect the Hornets to look very scary going into the 2013-14 season. 

20. Minnesota Timberwolves

A-Level = None
B-Level = PF Kevin Love
C-Level = PG J.J. Barea, SG Wes Johnson, SF Michael Beasley, PF Anthony Tolliver, PF Anthony Randolph, C Darko Millcic
Rookies = PG Ricky Rubio, SF Derrick Williams, SG Malcolm Lee
Reason for Optimism = Plenty of assets to attempt to trade for star players that want nothing to do with playing for the Minnesota Timberwolves.
            GM David Kahn has taken a page out of the Joe Dumars playbook, and acquired all sorts of players that do the exact same thing. Most seasons that would be a problem, but in the 120 sprint the NBA has scheduled, an over abundance of depth might not be a bad thing. The Timberwolves will have no problem trotting out guys with fresh legs every night. Would you bet on the Celtics back-ups to beat Minnesota’s second unit (which will feature Williams, Barea, Tolliver, and Randolph to begin the season)? I wouldn’t.

19. Sacramento Kings

A-Level = None
B-Level = PG/SG Tyreke Evans, SG Marcus Thornton, C DeMarcus Cousins
C-Level = SG Francisco Garcia, SF John Salmons, PF J.J. Hickson
Rookies = PG Jimmer Fredette (JIMMER!), PG Isaiah Thomas, SF Tyler Honeycutt
Reason for Optimism = Fans get to watch the oddest collection of characters since “Arrested Development”
            I could probably write 3,000 words about how crazy this roster is. Jimmer must’ve thought he accidentally arrived at a halfway house when he showed up for Kings training camp. I’d like to see the go small with Jimmer and Thornton in the backcourt, Tyreke at the 3, and Cousins and Hickson working down low. None of those five guys would play defense, but the team would put up 115 per game. 

18. Utah Jazz

A-Level = PF/C Al Jefferson
B-Level = PG Devin Harris, PF Paul Millsap, PF Derrick Favors
C-Level = SG C.J. Miles
Rookies = C Enes Kanter, SG Alec Burks
Reason for Optimism = Great skiing!
            Utah is stuck with the same issue that screwed the Lakers up last season. Their three best players (Jefferson, Millsap, and Favors) usually can’t be on the court together. Things are even more complicated when you throw rookie Enes Kanter (who is a project player) into the mix. Millsap will reportedly see a lot of time at small forward, but that would be a disaster defensively. Look for Utah to move Millsap before the trade deadline, whether they are in contention or not.

17. Golden State Warriors

A-Level = PG Stephen Curry, PG/SG Monta Ellis
B-Level = SF Dorell Wright, PF David Lee
C-Level = None
Rookies = SG Klay Thompson, C Jeremy Tyler, PG Charles Jenkins
Reason for Optimism = The “sent” folder on Monta Ellis’ cellphone.
            Golden State will never be a contender until they move either Curry or Ellis. Neither of them can guard opposing 2-guards, which is tough when there is no one behind them to defend the rim (sorry Kwame Brown, there’s 10 years of evidence that you are not that guy). Ellis has a hint of Marbury, so he would be the guy I would try to move. 

16. Denver Nuggets

A-Level = None
B-Level = PG Ty Lawson, SG Arron Afflalo, SF Danilo Gallinari, PF Nene Hillario
C-Level = PG Andre Miller, SG Rudy Fernandez, SF Corey Brewer, PF Al Harrington, C Timofey Mozgov, C Chris Anderson
Rookies = SF Jordan Hamilton, PF Kenneth Faried
Reason for Optimism = Wilson Chandler is tearing it up right now…in China…until March…
               It’s amazing that Denver traded it’s franchise player away ten months ago, and lost three guys who decided to play in China, still looks this competitive on paper. If Gallinari or Lawson make the leap to A-Level status, we could be talking about a club that lands the third seed in the western conference.    

15. Houston Rockets

A-Level = None
B-Level = PG Kyle Lowry, SG Kevin Martin, SF Chase Budinger, PF Luis Scola
C-Level = PG Goran Dragic, SG Courtney Lee
Rookies = PF Marcus Morris, SF Chandler Parsons
Reason for Optimism = If we suck, we can blame David Stern from preventing Pau Gasol and Nene joining our team.
            For years, Houston has been hoarding assets. The hoarding of those assets finally appeared to pay off when the Rockets facilitated the Chris Paul trade to the Lakers. Alas, Stern vetoed the trade, Houston didn’t get Pau Gasol (and Nene, who apparently was set to join if Pau was acquired), and is now stuck with a bunch of pissed off players. As it stands now, Houston is a decent center away from being a contender in the west.

14. Orlando Magic

A-Level = C Dwight Howard
B-Level = SG Jason Richardson
C-Level = PG Jameer Nelson, SF Hedo Turkoglu, PF Ryan Anderson, PF Glen Davis
Rookies = SF DeAndre Liggins, PF Justin Harper
Reason for Optimism = Local amusement parks.
            No wonder Dwight Howard wants to leave Orlando. Big Baby was there big off-season move so far, which is even crazier when you factor in that they gave up a better player (Brandon Bass) to get him. It’s hard to tell if Orlando will stay strong in attempting to convince Howard to stay. If he does, they are looking at a four through sixth seed in the east. The earlier they trade him, the better chances of acquiring a top lottery pick. My advice for Orlando is to ship Howard out now to the highest bidder.

13. Atlanta Hawks

A-Level = SF/PF Josh Smith
B-Level = SG Joe Johnson, PF/C Al Horford
C-Level = PG Jeff Teague, SG/SF Tracy McGrady, SF Marvin Williams,
Rookies = PF Keith Benson
Reason for Optimism = If the world ends next year, we won’t have to pay Joe Johnson anymore money!
            I’d like Atlanta much more if they found a live body to play center, which would allow Smith and Horford to switch to the four and three. They don’t have enough size to exploit a team like Miami, and not enough athleticism to hang with Chicago. The only hope for the Hawks is Jeff Teague. If he becomes a consistent top-15 point guard, Atlanta has the big guns to hang with the elite teams of the east.

12. San Antonio Spurs

A-Level = SG Manu Ginobili
B-Level = PF/C Tim Duncan, PG Tony Parker
C-Level = SG Gary Neal, PF Matt Bonner, C DeJuan Blair, C Tiago Splitter
Rookies = SF Kawhi Leonard, PG Cory Joseph
Reason for Optimism = Due to end up with the top pick in the draft and pick a seven-footer that will be a cornerstone of the franchise for 15 years.
            If there was ever a team that was not constructed to play 66 games in 120 days, it would be this one. San Antonio is going to need major contributions from Gary Neal and Tiago Splitter to hang in the playoff race out west. That’s the only way the burden can be taken off of the very old foundation. Don’t be surprised if the long rumored Tony Parker trade finally comes to fruition this season.

11. Los Angeles Lakers

A-Level = SG Kobe Bryant, PF/C Pau Gasol
B-Level = C Andrew Bynum (suspended first four games)
C-Level = PG Derek Fisher, SF Matt Barnes, SF Metta World Peace, PF Josh McRoberts, PF/C Troy Murphy
F-Level = SF Luke Walton
Rookies = PG Darius Morris, SG Andrew Goudelock, PF Ater Majok
Reason for Optimism = Stem cells.
            Here’s another team not constructed to play a sprint schedule. Los Angeles has slowly morphed into one of the least athletic teams in the league. Losing Lamar Odom (one of the most versatile players in the league who could also handle the ball) is a killer for a club that has a gaping hole at point guard. They’ll be dangerous in the playoffs regardless of seed. It’s just a matter of keeping Kobe, Pau, and Bynum healthy.

10. New York Knicks

A-Level = SF Carmelo Anthony, PF Amar’e Stoudemire
B-Level = C Tyson Chandler, PG Baron Davis (out for probably the first month with a back injury)
C-Level = PG/SG Toney Douglas, SG Landry Fields
F-Level = PG Mike Bibby’s Rotting Corpse, I Mean, PG Mike Bibby (it’s hard to tell he’s still alive sometimes)
Rookies = SG Iman Shumpert, C Josh Harrellson
Reason for Optimism = No point guard, no problem! (they hope)
            I’d like the Knicks so much more if they had Lebron James instead of Carmelo. Anthony will be asked to be primary distributor of the ball (at least until Baron Davis is healthy), which is a role he has never had. For the most part, he’s been a ball-stopping isolation player his entire career. It will be interesting to see if he has the ability and mind-set to do it. He’ll need to shoulder the load in order to keep Amar’e and his shaky knees healthy through the season.

9. Portland Trail Blazers

A-Level = PF LaMarcus Aldridge
B-Level = PG Raymond Felton, SG Wesley Matthews, SF Gerald Wallace, C Marcus Camby, PG/SG Jamal Crawford
C-Level = C Kurt Thomas, C Greg Oden, C Greg Oden’s Penis
Rookies = PG Nolan Smith, SG Jon Diebler, SF Tanguy Ngombo
Reason for Optimism = Brandon Roy (may his basketball career R.I.P.) is no longer being paid $1, much less $18 million.
            I really like Portland’s top-6, but have concerns about the rest of the bench. Nolan Smith needs to give 15 Eric Maynor-like minutes a night to stabilize the second unit. If they can get anything out of Greg Oden come playoff time, Portland will boast the deepest group of bigs in the western conference.  

8. Boston Celtics

A-Level = SF Paul Pierce
B-Level = PG Rajon Rondo, SG Ray Allen, PF Kevin Garnett
C-Level = SG Marquis Daniels, PF Brandon Bass, C Jermaine O’Neal, C Chris Wilcox
Rookies = SG E’twaun Moore, PF JaJuan Johnson
Reason for Optimism = The Patriots beat Tebow!
            Boston failed to trade for Chris Paul, and pissed off Rondo in the process (not sure how he’ll react to that, although things have gone well in the pre-season so far). David West spurned them and instead signed with the Pacers. The only positive move for the Celtics was upgrading from Big Baby to Brandon Bass (and saving a few bucks in the process). The Celtics would be wise to take it easy in the regular season to keep the Big 4 healthy, and then run at full strength during the playoffs. They will need all four guys playing at their best to have any shot of winning the title.

7. Indiana Pacers

A-Level = SF Danny Granger
B-Level = PG Darren Collison, SG Paul George, PF David West, C Roy Hibbert
C-Level = PG/SG George Hill, PF Tyler Hansbrough, C Jeff Foster
Rookies = None
Reason for Optimism = Pieces are in place
            I’m predicting that the Pacers will be my NBA version of the Milwaukee Brewers (I loved them in my MLB preview last spring). There isn’t an overwhelming amount of depth, but I really like their 8-man rotation. David West’s arrival filled a gaping hole in the post, and allows Roy Hibbert to focus more on playing tough defense and cleaning up on the offensive glass. The only things that could derail them is a Danny Granger injury (he’s had a few during his career) and a David West injury (he’ll be a season removed from an ACL tear while trying to play 66 games in 120 days). If health is in their favor, watch out for the Pacers.

6. Dallas Mavericks

A-Level = PF Dirk Nowitzki
B-Level = PG Jason Kidd, SG Vince Carter, SG Jason Terry, SF Shawn Marion, SF/PF Lamar Odom
C-Level = PG Delonte West, C Brendan Haywood
Rookies = None
Reason for Optimism = We’re the defending champs bitch!
            The more I think about it, I really like how Mark Cuban and his people put their title-defending team together. There’s the ability to play big or small (having Kidd-Terry-Carter-Dirk-Odom out on the court at the same time could be the fastest bunch of old dudes in NBA history), and have tons of shooters to surround Nowitzki. The Mavericks’ chance at a title hinge largely on how well Brendan Haywood can fill the void left by Tyson Chandler. A repeat is unlikely, but look for the Mavericks to be stronger than the experts think. Either way, Dallas has done a nice job building a competitive team along with cap space for next year’s free agent class.

5. Los Angeles Clippers

A-Level = PG Chris Paul, PF Blake Griffin
B-Level = PG/SG Chauncey Billups, PG Mo Williams, SF Caron Butler, C DeAndre Jordan
C-Level = PG/SG Randy Foye, PG/SG Eric Bledsoe, SF Ryan Gomes, C Reggie Evans
Rookies = SG Travis Leslie, PF Trey Thompkins
Reason for Optimism = Blake Griffin, Year 2: Lob City.
             The Clippers are a really good that are a minor tweak or two away from being great. Their Achilles heal appears to be the ability to guard opposing 2-guards. Asking the combination of Paul/Billups/Williams/Foye do it for 48 minutes is a tall order. Moving Mo Williams to a team for a guy like O.J. Mayo would make a whole lot of sense. In addition, shipping Eric Bledsoe out for an additional big-man (Bill Simmons talked about how Anderson Varejao would be an excellent back-up for both Griffin and Jordan) would give this team depth across the board. Look for the Clippers to be very active before the trade deadline. Even after the Chris Paul trade, they have plenty of moveable parts left. 

4. Memphis Grizzlies

A-Level = PF Zach Randolph
B-Level = SF Rudy Gay, C Marc Gasol, PG Mike Conley, SG Tony Allen, SG O.J. Mayo
C-Level = PG Greivis Vazquez, SF Sam Young, PF Darrell Arthur (injured to start the year), PF Mikki Moore
Reason for Optimism = The return of Rudy Gay to a club that nearly made the Western Conference Finals last year without him.
            There isn’t a more underrated front-line in the NBA than Gay-Randolph-Gasol. All three are athletic, all of them can hammer the glass, and all three can score when the opportunity is there. The ceiling of the Grizzlies will be decided by whether or not they move O.J. Mayo, and what they get back in return. Personally, I think they should keep him as their sixth man and try to have him fill a Jason Terry-like role. Last year’s playoff run wasn’t a fluke. The Grizzlies are for real.

3. Chicago Bulls

A-Level = PG Derrick Rose
B-Level = C Joakim Noah, PF Carlos Boozer, SF Luol Deng, SG Richard Hamilton, PF Taj Gibson
C-Level = SG Ronnie Brewer, SF Kyle Korver
F-Level = PF Brian Scalabrine
Rookies = SF Jimmy Butler
Reason for Optimism = We finally have a 2-guard that can do stuff!
            The reason Miami overwhelmed the Bulls after Chicago’s Game 1 win in the Eastern Conference Finals was the inability of anyone other than Derrick Rose to create their own shot. Chicago has two potential sources of alternate offense this season. The obvious first choice is Richard Hamilton, who has spent the past two seasons in purgatory on the putrid Pistons. It’s unclear how much (if anything) Hamilton has left in the tank, but the early returns in pre-season have been good. The other source is the return to form of Carlos Boozer. Boozer battled injuries all last season, which eventually led to a loss in confidence during the postseason. By the time the Bulls entered the playoffs Taj Gibson was a much more effective player. Boozer has also looked great so far in pre-season, giving hope to Bulls fans that they will finally have the interior scoring they thought they were getting when they signed Boozer in the summer of 2010. 

2. Miami Heat

A-Level = SG Dwyane Wade, SF Lebron James
B-Level = PF Chris Bosh
C-Level = PG Mario Chalmers, SG-SF Shane Battier, SF Mike Miller, PF Udonis Haslem
Rookies = PG Norris Cole
Reason for Optimism = Not as much of the country hates the Heat as they did last year.
            The same depth issues Miami dealt with last season still exist today, but this appears to be the team in pole position to benefit from the return of the players stuck in China. Joel Anthony doesn’t strike fear in anyone (except Lebron when he sets up Anthony with a perfect look-pass only to see Anthony fumble it out of bounds), but imagine if they can add Kenyon Martin for the final month of the year and the playoffs? One of the China guys is going to take less money for a shot at a ring. The only thing that will keep Miami out of the Eastern Conference Finals is the health of Dwyane Wade.

1. Oklahoma City Thunder

A-Level = SF Kevin Durant, PG Russell Westbrook
B-Level = SG James Harden, PF/C Serge Ibaka, C Kendrick Perkins
C-Level = PG Eric Maynor, SG Thabo Sefolosha, SF Daequan Cook, PF Nick Collison, C Nazr Mohammed
Rookies = SG Reggie Jackson (not the MLB Hall-of-Famer)
Reason for Optimism = If there ever was a team prepared to play 66 games in 120 days, it’s this one.
            Oklahoma has so many things going in it’s favor this season that I’ll list all of them in their own bullet point.

-         If James Harden makes the leap to superstardom (which a few experts think is a possibility), the Thunder will be the only team with three elite scorers on its roster.

-         Except for Perkins, Collison, and Mohammed, there isn’t a dude over 25 years old on this team. Young legs will take you far this year.

-         There isn’t a more flexible team in the league right now. These guys can beat you big or small.

-         Eric Maynor would be starting for at least 10 other teams. I’d like to see the Thunder put him and Westbrook in the same backcourt. Imagine a small-ball line up of Maynor-Westbrook-Harden-Durant-Ibaka? Yikes.

-         A full-season of Perkins means a full-season of Serge Ibaka racking up vicious weak-side blocks.

            The only underlying plot that will prevent Oklahoma City from reaching it’s potential is the alpha dog battle between Durant and Westbrook. At some point, Westbrook has to accept that he is Robin to Durant’s Batman. If they can get to the point where they are running the pick and roll together, there will be no stopping Oklahoma City from winning the 2012 NBA Championship.

           

Status of the Celtics

            Unlike the Lakers, the Celtics fans shouldn’t be completely demoralized. You could argue that if not for Rondo’s elbow injury, they would’ve won both of the final two games of the series (it’s much better to lose when you have a viable excuse, at least in my opinion. If you’re a Lakers fan, you have none because your team just got annihilated). Not to mention that Lebron James credits Boston’s Big Three as the reason he, Wade, and Bosh decided to team up (oh wait, that should make a Celtics fan feel worse. Nevermind). However, with its aging core Boston’s future going forward is very murky. Only Rondo, Paul Pierce, and Avery Bradley are signed on for contracts that are past the 2012 season. Just like I did with Los Angeles a couple of days ago, here is a look at all of the components of the Celtics organization.

Carlos Arroyo, Troy Murphy, Sasha Pavlovic, Von Wafer = I hope none if you invested in one of these players jerseys, because there is a 0% chance they are on the team next year.

Avery Bradley, PG-SG = Bradley didn’t see a second of playing time during the postseason, but he does have some potential. Just two years ago he was the top ranked high school senior in the nation. Expect the Celtics to give him some run as the back-up point guard in the event that Delonte West is not resigned at the beginning of 2011-12.

 

Nenad Krstic, C = Krstic is an unrestricted free agent, but I’m not sure I would let him walk if I was the Celtics. He’s a bit soft, but maybe a full season in KG boot camp could toughen him up.

 

Jermaine O’Neal, C-PF = Jermaine is under contract through the end of next season. The only thing of value he provides to Boston is a just under $6 million expiring contract that could be shipped to another team seeking cap relief (unless Boston hangs on to him so he comes off their books at the end of the season). 

Shaquille O’Neal, C = Shaq has a player option that he would be a fool not to exercise. If he does, he’ll get just under $2 million to miss 65 games with an injury.

Glen Davis, PF = Big Baby’s issues the past couple of months have not been talked about enough. He went from a guy who was a serviceable 6^th man and fill-in at center to a basket case that only averaged 4 points a game in the series against Miami. I’m willing to bet that some team will throw him a four-year, $24 million deal. Baby’s days in Boston are over.

Delonte West, PG-SG = Delonte is an interesting dude. On one hand, he is rumored to have had sexual relations with Lebron’s mom. On the other, he played solid minutes for the Celtics this year when he was healthy. On the other hand, he was once arrested with a guitar case full of guns. I’m hoping that his past episodes allow Boston to be able to resign him at a discounted rate.  

Jeff Green, SF = It was fitting that the backbreaking play of the 2010-11 Celtics season was Jeff Green fumbling the ball out of bounds when Boston was down 90-87. I’m not sure if he’ll ever be a viable option in Boston as long as people are still upset about acquiring him for Kendrick Perkins. Green is a restricted free agent this year, which gives the Celtics the right to match any offer another club makes to him.

Rajon Rondo, PG = Rondo will be in a Celtics uniform for the next four seasons. In order to join the elite group of point guards, Rondo needs to work on mid-range jumper. If he added a steady 18-footer that he was willing to take when he had an open look. Throw that in with improved free throw shooting, and Boston would no longer have to worry about playing 4 on 5 on offense at the end of games. Rondo needs to take his game to the next level for Boston to have any chance to win a championship in the next five years (barring a miracle acquisition of Dwight Howard).

Ray Allen, SG = Just like Shaq, Ray also has an opt out clause that would allow him to be a free agent this summer. Unlike Shaq, it wouldn’t be a terrible idea for him to explore his options. If Allen were smart, he would bolt for Chicago. The Bulls have a glaring hole at shooting guard. Ray Allen would be the perfect compliment to Derrick Rose at shooting guard. Even if his skills degrade, he could drain wide-open 3s for the next five years. If he’s interested in winning more titles, going to the Bulls makes the most sense. However, Allen stated after Game 5 that he would remain with the Celtics.

Paul Pierce, SF = Pierce is under contract for the next three seasons, which could be his last three years in the NBA. His improved efficiency (he almost made half of his field goals during the regular season, and shot a career high 86% from the line) have made him a much more effective player as he has gotten older. Barring injury, he should be able to give the Celtics solid production for the remainder of his contract.

Kevin Garnett, PF = Garnett is under contract through the end of next season. With KG already hinting at retirement during this past year, don’t be surprised if 2012 is the final team we see Garnett on the court. If things go really bad for Garnett next year, his $18 million that he is owed for next season would make for an attractive expiring contract.

Doc Rivers, Head Coach = Doc just inked a new five year contract with Boston. Some of the lineups he through out against Miami was a bit odd (the Rondo-West-Allen-Pierce-Garnett he called upon to play the 4^th quarter in Game 4 being the strangest), but desperation will make you do funny things. Boston should let Doc coach as long as he wants.

Danny Ainge, General Manger = Here’s the list of things that needed to happen in order for Ainge’s decision to trade Kendrick Perkins a good move.

1. Jeff Green needed to go from being the 3^rd option on Oklahoma City to a bench player who gave quality defensive minutes at both small forward and power forward (that didn’t happen).
2. Shaquille O’Neal needed to be healthy for the playoffs and give Boston 20 to 25 solid minutes a night (that didn’t happen).
3. Glen Davis needed to continue his stellar early season play as an undersized center and backup power forward (that didn’t happen).

It’s fair to say that Ainge botched this one. Never in the history of the NBA had a team that was the favorite before the trade deadline butchered its roster so poorly. It would’ve made much more sense for Ainge to hang on to Perkins, make a minor move to acquire a wing player (Corey Brewer would’ve made a ton of sense if Jeff Green hadn’t already been added to the roster), and go into the playoffs as the #1 seed in the East. Hindsight is 20/20, but this is a move that Ainge should regret for a long time.

Reasons to Still Believe in the Celtics

            The Boston Celtics looked old during the first two games in Miami. Real old. Dwyane Wade looked like a college kid dribbling around 4^th graders when he abused Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett. Lebron James squashed Rondo like the Real Madrid bus crushing the Spanish Cup trophy. However, I’m here to provide hope for depressed Celtics fans (or people that hate the Miami Heat). Here are a few quick reasons why Boston can get back into the series.

-         Due to scheduling conflicts because of the Boston Bruins 2^nd round series, Game 3 in Boston is four days after Game 2. Two extra days of rest should help provide fresh legs for the Celtics’ Big 3 (we’ll just ignore the fact that after Wade got extra rest before the start of the series, he dropped 38 in Game 1).

-         At this point, it looks like Shaq will be available. Even if he’s a shadow of his former self, he’ll at least be able to give you six hard fouls on Lebron and Wade when they barrel towards the basket.

-         As good as Miami has looked so far, all they have done is protect home court. Chris Bosh has never seen a crowd like the one he will see Saturday night in Boston. The Celtics crowd could be the MVP of the series if Boston can win three games at home.

      Hopefully some home cooking will go along way in energizing the Celtics, because they’ll need to win both games 3 and 4 to have a shot. Otherwise, Lebron haters will have to shift into “Anyone but the Heat” mode.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (4/16-4/18)

10. On-Line Poker Shutdown in United States

            I was bummed out when I first read this headline, but now feel better that I will no longer lose pots to 17-year old kids from Argentina who are hitting miracle flushes on the river. On the other hand, I can’t sit in pajamas and play poker in my living room anymore (unless I had a pajama Texas Hold ‘Em party, but that would be weird). It looks like we are moving closer to a world where the US Government will be regulating on-line poker games.

9. Ducks Forward Bobby Ryan Suspended For Stomping On Opponents Skate

            Ryan claims that he wasn’t intentionally stomping on Predators defenseman Jonathon Blum skate during game 2 of the Ducks-Predators series. I’ll refer you to this video so you can decide for yourself (plus, you get to see Barry Melrose and his mullet, which is always a good time).

8. Jimmie Johnson Wins By .002 Seconds at Talladega

            If you didn’t enjoy the last laps of this race, than you will never enjoy any NASCAR event.

7. Durant Drops 41 to Lead Thunder Over Nuggets

            Russell Westbrook chipped in with 31 to carry Oklahoma City in the best shoot out of the game 1s. I really like how Oklahoma City is looking right now. You have two stud scorers, two big men to control the paint (Kendrick Perkins and Serge Ibaka), a stopper on the wing (Thabo Sefolosha), and a very good 6^th man (James Harden). San Antonio or Los Angles will not want to see this team in the 2^nd round.

6. Canadiens Take 2-0 Series Lead Over Bruins

            Boston has now lost six straight postseason games dating back to last season. The Bruins look like they are a stud goal scorer short this year. I wouldn’t be surprised if they still pulled this series out, but anyone who thinks of this team as a Stanley Cup favorite is either a real homer or on drugs (or both).

5. Down 10, Bulls Pull Off 4^th Quarter Comeback Against Pacers

            My Dad actually watched the end of this game (which could be a sign of the apocalypse, because my Dad watches NBA games approximately once every nine years), and he claims that the Bulls were bailed out by the officials in game 1. In honor of him watching the game, I’ll let that stand as my analysis of this event.

4. Hawks Win Game 1 in Orlando

            When your best player scores 46, and you still lose by 10 points, you have serious issues. I’ve said it before, but it’s worth repeating that Orlando has done a horrendous job building a team around Dwight Howard. 12-year olds running a franchise on NBA 2K12 could’ve done a better job.

3. Grizzlies Win First Playoff Game in Franchise History Over Spurs

            In my first round preview, I predicted a sweep by the Spurs, but also predicted Memphis to be in every single game. In my mind, that counts for something. If I was a Spurs fan, I would be very worried if Ginobili cannot return at anything less than 100%. 

2. Chris Paul Goes Bonkers, Leads Hornets to Game 1 Upset of Lakers

            On paper, it made a lot of sense that Chris Paul would destroy Derek Fisher in this series. Paul is one of the best three point guards in the league, and Derek Fisher has been washed-up for five years. However, it was very surprising that the Lakers were not able to lock down the rest of the Hornets. Expect a better game plan from the Lakers in Game 2. They won’t shut down Paul, but if they can keep him under 10 assists, they will be fine. Pau Gasol showing up will also help (only 8 points for him on 2-8 shooting).

1. Ray Allen From Downtown…BANG

            Boston was terrible in the first half, but found some life after halftime. I’m predicting a double-digit Celtics win in game 2, which is a lock if Chauncey Billups can’t play after injuring his knee late in game 1.

2010-11 NBA Fantasy All-Star Teams

            These are what the NBA All-Star teams should be based on fantasy rankings. Keep in mind that you won’t see Dwight Howard, Blake Griffin, or Rondo on this list due to their lousy free-throw % (missing free throws destroys your team if you are in a roto league. Fortunately for me, I am in a head-to-head league, and have both of those guys, so they have been monsters for me). In parentheses after each player’s name is their total season rank so far (as computed by Yahoo Sports). The ranks were pulled up Thursday evening.

Eastern Conference All-Stars

Starters

PG: Derrick Rose, Bulls (14)

            Rose’s breakout season in real life has also translated to the fantasy game.

SG: Paul Pierce, Celtics (8)

            Shooting 51% from the floor, 42% from 3-point range, and 85% from the free throw line. Throw in useful counting numbers, and Pierce is having the best all-around season (and most efficient season) of his underrated career.

SF: Lebron James, Heat (11)

            The King moved up three spots to 8^th in the rankings after his 51-8-11 line he dropped on Orlando last night.

PF: Amar’e Stoudemire, Knicks (6)

            Stoudemire has been a monster in New York. He scores, gets boards, blocks shots, and even hits free throws. Once the Knicks add Carmelo Anthony (which they will either before the trade deadline or during the off-season), they will be a power in the Eastern Conference.

C: Al Horford, Hawks (7)

            This is a guy no one gets excited about, but quietly produces in all stat categories.

Bench

G: Ray Allen, Celtics (18)

            Allen was picked at the end of the 6^th round in my league, and has produced late-2^nd round value. He thrives despite very low usage by the Celtics (only 12.5 shots per game) due to blistering percentages (51-46-86).

G: Raymond Felton, Knicks (24)

            Felton would’ve been in the All-Star game if not for being in a slump the past two months.

F: Josh Smith, Hawks (15)

            Smith has stepped up his game ever since he decided to stop chucking 3s at a 25% clip. Smith is the best shot-blocking small forward in the game.

F: Wilson Chandler, Knicks (29)

            This guy went in the 16^th round in my fantasy league (unfortunately, not on my team). He’s developing into the Knicks version of Shawn Marion (back when Marion was on the Suns, not the version that currently bricks jumpers for the Mavericks).

C: Elton Brand, 76ers (28)

            I couldn’t believe Brand was ranked this high. Having a nice bounce-back year after a couple of very injury plagued seasons in Philadelphia, but still is not justifying the ridiculous amount of money the 76ers are paying him.

UT: Kevin Garnett, Celtics (31)

            Garnett would’ve been much higher on this list if not for games missed due to injury. KG looked finished at times during the 2009-10 season. He deserves praise for returning to his old form (even if he’s completely crazy).

UT: Danny Granger, Pacers (32)

            Granger is the new Pau Gasol (pre-trade to Los Angeles) in the sense that he could never carry a team to a championship as the best player, but could absolutely put a team over the top if he were the second banana. He would be a fantastic swingman playing along side Chris Paul in New Orleans.

Western Conference All-Stars

Starters

PG: Chris Paul, Hornets (1)

            Chris Paul is amazing. He’s been wearing a giant knee pad all year, clearly doesn’t have the same explosiveness he used to have, but is still so efficient at running the offense in the half court that he is fantasy’s top player.

SG: Manu Ginobili, Spurs (5)

            Ginobili is whom I try to emulate when I am playing basketball. I have the awkwardness down, and even the herky-jerky dribbling style, but unfortunately I am not blessed with his ability to put the ball in the basket. It must be the bald spot on his head that gives him the magic power.

SF: Kevin Durant, Thunder (2)

            Similar to how Blake Griffin was put on this Earth to jump 12 feet into the air and dunk on people, Durant was constructed for the sole purpose of draining jumpers and getting to the free throw line. I wish that Oklahoma City would stick him in the post a little more, but in spite of that he is still one of the most entertaining players to watch in the NBA.

PF: Kevin Love, Timberwolves (3)

            Thank God that David Stern used Yao Ming’s All-Star spot to get Kevin Love into the game. Despite Minnesota’s poor record, a guy who averages a 20-15 (which hasn’t been done since Moses Malone) and hits 44% of his threes needs to be on the All-Star team.

C: Pau Gasol, Lakers (4)

            The White Swan is the most skilled big-man we have in the NBA. When this guy plays angry, there is no stopping him.

Bench

G: Deron Williams, Jazz (9)

            A damn solid point guard. I’m sorry, but that’s all I have to say about him.

G: Kevin Martin, Rockets (12)

            This guy went in the 7^th round in my fantasy league. Health is always a concern, but when he isn’t hurt this guy can flat-out score.

F: Rudy Gay, Grizzlies (10)

            This one of those guys that always does something. One night he might score 25 points. Another he’s grabbing 9 boards. Another he’s blocking 3 shots. He’s similar to Granger in that you’re probably not going to build a title contender around him, but he would be a great compliment to an elite player.

F: Dirk Nowitzki, Mavericks (22)

            This guy would probably be in the top three if not for a prolonged absence due to injury. He hadn’t gotten much credit until everyone saw how awful the Mavericks were while he was injured.  

C: LaMarcus Aldridge, Trail Blazers (20)

            Aldridge is probably the winner of “biggest All-Star snub” now that David Stern has put Kevin Love into the game.

UT: Russell Westbrook, Thunder (13)

            I get tired watching Westbrook play, because it seems like he’s always barreling at full speed towards the basket. He’s the perfect compliment to Kevin Durant.

UT: Dorell Wright, Warriors (16)

            This guy was the one late-round gem I was able to unearth in my fantasy draft. I grabbed this guy in the 17^th round (if you’re into fantasy hoops, you may wonder why there even was a 17^th round. I run a league with each team having 20 players. A little big, but it kills the waiver wire). Similar to Gay, Wright is a guy who always gives you something.