Random World Cup Thoughts

            The World Cup is the last major sporting event that No Credentials has not had the chance to discuss (this blog started three months after the 2010 World Cup ended), so we’re more than happy to offer up worthless opinions to fellow uninformed Americans. If you’re not from America and a diehard fan of futbol, I’m sorry your browsing of the World Wide Web brought you here.

Argentina Will Probably Do Better This Year Now That A Drug Addict Isn’t There Head Coach

            Well I guess we can’t say with 100% certainty that their new head coach isn’t a user, but Diego Maradona’s exploits were well known when Argentina shockingly named him Head Coach before the 2010 World Cup. To put his craziness in perspective, Maradona just said in an interview that beating Brazil in their home country would be “an orgasm” (that’s not a joke, he really said that!). Instead of being used in a facilitator role like he was four years ago, Lionel Messi should be turned loose to do what he does better than anyone else in the world.



Don't Buy Stock in the Americans

            So when the U.S.A. goes 0-3 in group play, will Landon Donovan feel bummed out for his former teammates, or want to stick two middle fingers in Jurgen Klinsmann’s face? We’re guessing a mix of both.



I Should Have Lobbied Harder to Have Our Pet Hamster Named “Schweinsteiger”

            What a ridiculous fucking name. If you asked a 100 people if Schweinsteiger was the last name of a mid-fielder for Germany or the code-name for U.S. drones in the Middle East, we’re guessing the results would be close to a 50-50 split.

Iran is My Sleeper Team This Year

            Don’t ask me why.

Germany-Portugal is a Ridiculous Opening Match-Up

            We’re guessing the Germans test how healthy Cristiano Ronaldo really is, early and often.

Hopefully the Fields are to Standard

            During my schooling career, I often waited until the very last moment to complete projects, which was all right because my assignments never involved BUILDING FUCKING STADIUMS TO HOST THE BIGGEST SOCCER TOURNAMENT ON PLANET EARTH. It’s not like Brazil didn’t know years ago they were going to be hosting the World Cup.

We Think Brazil Is Going to Win the Cup

            Brazil has the easiest group draw (without looking at numbers, we’re guessing their three opponents have the lowest combined Gross Domestic Product rating of any other trio. Not sure what that has to do with soccer, but if you’re here for real information you can’t say I didn’t warn you in the opening paragraph), which ultimately leads us to put them over the top.

1. Brazil
2. Argentina
3. Germany