10. Manny Ramirez Retires to Avoid 100-Game Steroids Suspension
I plan on writing an obituary for Manny’s career sometime by the end of the week, so I won’t write too much here (for some analysis from an actual expert, read this post by ESPN’s Buster Olney). I will say that it is a sad end for one of my favorite Red Sox players of the ‘00s.
9. Derrick Rose Drops 39 Against Magic
MVP! MVP! MVP! MVP!
8. New Jersey Devils Coach Jacques Lemaire Retires
Lemaire and the Devils are sort of like Ronnie and Sammy from “Jersey Shore”. Lemaire first coached the Devils 1993 to 1998. After coaching the Minnesota Wild for the first nine years of their existence, he returned to New Jersey to coach for the 2009-10 season. He tearfully announced his retirement after last season, but was brought back this past December after New Jersey woefully underachieved for the first three months of the season. I don’t know if there is a place where you can wager on this sort of thing, but I’d like to bet that Lemaire is back on the bench for New Jersey at some point (possibly next season, if Ilya Kovalchuk is to be believed).
7. Matt Kenseth Dominates Under the Lights at Texas
Kenseth had the fastest car all-night, and pretty much stunk up the show. It was good to see the former champion snap his 76-race winless streak.
6. Minnesota Duluth Wins NCAA Men’s Hockey Championship
You can always count on the Frozen Four for producing at least one school that no one had ever heard of before.
5. Nuggets PG Ty Lawson Hits 10 3-Pointers
Normally this event wouldn’t stick out to me, but the fact he is on my fiancée’s fantasy team (the team that I happen to be playing in our fantasy basketball championship) made this occurrence a bit of a bummer. Lawson had never hit more than three shots from three-point range in a single game before his performance Saturday night.
4. New York Rangers and Chicago Blackhawks Sneak Into Stanley Cup Playoffs
No offense to the fans of the Stars and Hurricanes, but the Stanley Cup Playoffs are much more interesting if the Rangers and Blackhawks are involved.
By the way, I’ll be posting my uninformed first round NHL picks Tuesday evening. I’m super excited about it.
3. Heat Blast Celtics
This isn’t actually awesome for Celtics fans such as myself, but it was a noteworthy event. Either Boston doesn’t care about potentially playing a second round Game 7 in Miami, or this team is truly fractured after the Kendrick Perkins trade.
2. Red Sox Win Two Out of Three Against Yankees
I’m not sure where Boston found the 2007 edition of Josh Beckett, but it sure was a pleasure to watch him pitch last night. Hopefully ignorant Red Sox fans don’t think the sky is falling anymore.
(EDITORS NOTE: Within the next month, I’ll be writing a Magna Carta-esque document for a new group of Red Sox members. It will be primarily targeted at the pre-2004 Red Sox fan. I’m still trying to work all the kinks out, but there’s a possibility that it will be a separate web page. Stay tuned…)
1. Charl Schwartzel Wins Masters
The only two rounds of golf I ever make a point to watch are the final rounds of The Masters and the US Open, and Sunday’s final round at Augusta didn’t disappoint. For a very casual fan of golf, this event had everything you wanted. There was Rory McIlroy (who started the day in the lead by four shots), who bombed almost as bad as The Situation did on the Donald Trump Roast (I say almost, because no one will ever bomb as bad as the Sitch did). His final round 80 was the score for the 54-hole leader since 1956. There was a point on the back nine where six golfers were tied for first. Among them was Tiger Woods, who went –5 on the front nine but couldn’t get over the hump after that. There was Jason Day’s significant other, who is somewhere between an 8.5 and a 8.75 on a ten point scale (that’s right, my scale has decimals. Deal with it). Finally, there was South Africa native Charl Schwartzel (wouldn’t of that been a great name for a bad guy in one of the “Die Hard” movies?), who birdied the last four holes to bring home the tacky Green Jacket. Sure we were missing Phil Mickelson, gratuitous violence, and full-frontal female nudity, but what more could you ask for from a golf tournament?
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