I’ll be
honest…I could give a shit about the Winter Olympics. Other than Bob Costas
having weird eye issues, nothing has caught No Credentials attention yet. That
all changes tomorrow, as one of the most underrated sporting events on planet
Earth begins. We’ll break down what makes the Olympic Men’s Hockey Tournament so
awesome.
-
Unlike the basketball tournament in the Summer Olympics, more
than three teams actually have a realistic chance of winning. You could make a
case for eight of the twelve teams having at least a 1% chance of earning Gold
Medals.
-
Every game feels like a Stanley Cup Playoffs game. Hockey
players are wired differently than any other professional athlete, so even
though they aren’t earning a normal paycheck to play in the Olympics, they
compete twice as hard as they do in a regular season game.
-
While there is parity to an extent, the top-tier teams are
ridiculously stacked. Canada is always able to roll out four lines full of
All-Star caliber players, but Sweden isn’t far behind. Even the United States
has finally added some depth with a new wave of young players, led by Chicago’s
Patrick Kane.
-
When teammates from NHL teams are split onto different
countries, it feels extra intense. Crosby vs. Malkin. Kane vs. Toews. Chara vs.
Bergeron. Or when a sniper has the pleasure of trying to score on his NHL
goalie. All of those match-ups add to the intrigue.
-
Some of the non-NHL guys are actually pretty damn good, and
they are more familiar with the international style rink and rules. This keeps
most games close, unlike when the USA basketball team gets to stomp all over
Ecuador or something.
With all that said, in reverse
order is our rankings of each team in the tournament.
NORWAY
Goalies = F
Defensemen = F
Forwards = F
Somehow,
Norway has two goalies with “Lars” as their first name. That’s never a good
sign.
SLOVENIA
Goalies = D
Defensemen = D
Forwards = D+
They
have Anze Kopitar, and literally nothing else. Furthermore, I have no idea
where Slovenia is.
LATVIA
Goalies = D
Defensemen = D+
Forwards = D
For
anyone that ever played the international tournament in the EA Sports hockey
games over the past decade, Latvia immediately jumps to the top of teams to
root for. The crowd chanted “LATVIA! LATVIA! LATVIA! LAVTIA!” so passionately
that it almost made you want to move there (emphasis on “almost”). When I asked
friends of the blog Ethan Hedrick and Mike Stevens (the two individuals that I
have completed world tournaments with), all they had to say was “LATVIA!
LATVIA! LATVIA! LATVIA!” No Credentials is on the Latvia bandwagon.
AUSTRIA
Goalies = D
Defensemen = D
Forwards = C
I
feel like based on their geographic location on planet Earth, Austria should be
better at hockey.
SWITZERLAND
Goalies = B+
Defensemen =C
Forwards = C+
Of
teams that have the majority of their roster made up of non-NHL players,
Switzerland is regarded as the club with the best chance to make noise.
SLOVAKIA
Goalies = B
Defensemen = B+
Forwards = B-
It
will take a hot streak from Jaroslav Halak and dominant play on the blue-line
from Zdeno Chara for Slovakia to snag a top-2 spot in group play over either
Russia or the United States.
CZECH REPUBLIC
Goalies = B
Defensemen = B
Forwards = B
The
Czech’s famously robbed Canada of a gold medal in 1998 thanks to the heroics of
Dominek Hasek, but the talent of their team has fallen off dramatically over
the past decade.
FINLAND
Goalies = A
Defensemen = B-
Forwards = C+
Tuuka
Rask provides the Fins their best goaltending since Mikka Kiprusoff in 2006.
They’ll have to keep all of their games low scoring, but if they do, Rask can
help them steal a medal.
RUSSIA
Goalies = A-
Defensemen = C+
Forwards = A-
Russia
has the home-ice advantage (which historically is a big deal in this event), but a weak defensive corps could be their undoing.
UNITED STATES
Goalies = A
Defensemen = B+
Forwards = A-
Bringing
back the majority of the silver medal-winning group from 2010, Team USA is
positioned as one of the favorites for the first time in years. Led by Patrick
Kane and Phil Kessel offensively, they’ll need Ryan Miller to repeat his last
Olympic performance for them to have a chance.
SWEDEN
Goalies = A
Defensemen = A
Forwards = A-
Even
down one Sedin twin (Henrik is injured and will be unable to play), Sweden
still has to be regarded as the co-favorite along with Canada.
CANADA
Goalies = A
Defensemen = A
Forwards = A+
Canada
is always the most talented team top to bottom in this tournament (to put it in
perspective, Patrice Bergeron is probably going to be their fourth line
center), but they have a history of choking in the Olympics (they only won last year for the first time in years because it was on home-soil in Vancouver). They’ll need
either Carey Price or Roberto Luongo (the latter of the two famously flopped
during the 2010 Olympics) to grab the starting gig by the horns before
elimination play and provide stability to their star studded lineup. If that
happens, Sidney Crosby and company will take care of the rest.
PREDICTIONS
Bronze = Russia
Silver = Canada
Gold = Sweden
