Week 5 NFL Picks

            My picks were dreadful last week, so as I’ve done in years past after a rough week, I’m keeping the analysis short. Also, I got out of work last night at 10:30pm and then went back for 7:30am, so it’s in everyone’s best interests to keep words to a minimum.

Week 5 Byes = 1-3 Minnesota Vikings, 1-3 Washington Redskins, 0-4 Pittsburgh Steelers, 0-4 Tampa Bay Buccaneers (this might be the greatest bye week ever. Four awful teams removed from the weekly slate)

 

TITANS (+3) over Chiefs

            Ryan Fitzpatrick should be serviceable for a couple of games, but hopefully Jake Locker is back closer to four weeks than eight.

DOLPHINS (-3) over Ravens

            Getting shellacked in New Orleans is nothing to hang your head about these days.

RAMS (-11.5) over Jaguars

            I just bought Madden 25, and created my son as the new quarterback of the Jaguars, so in the virtual world things are looking up for Jacksonville. Except for the part where I’m moving the team to Los Angeles in 2014.

BENGALS (+2) over Patriots

            Atlanta didn’t have the running game to expose the Wilfork-less Patriots. It becomes an issue this week.

Seahawks (-3) over COLTS

            Andrew Luck is a year or two away from being capable of winning this game by himself.

PACKERS (-7.5) over Lions

            Fresh off a bye, Green Bay is ready to put a damper on the Detroit bandwagon.

BEARS (+1.5) over Saints

            Most of Chicago’s trouble last week had to do with Detroit having inside knowledge of their defensive signals (nice job changing that shit up coaches that are paid a lot of money). They will look better this week.

GIANTS (-1.5) over Eagles

            New York has to win eventually. The over/under should be 60.

Panthers (-2.5) over CARDINALS

            Carolina’s defense has the talent to completely shut down the Arizona offense.

COWBOYS (+9) over Broncos

            Dallas has always done well against Peyton Manning (a win against the undefeated 2006 Colts in Tony Romo’s third career start was particularly memorable), so I’m wearing the homer hat for this one.

Texans (+6) over 49ERS

            San Francisco is still missing the majority of their receiving core, and Houston’s defense is more than talented enough to keep this within a field goal.

Chargers (-5) over RAIDERS

            It was great idea to give Raiders fans an extra three hours to consume more alcohol before an 11:35pm kickoff. Actually, it was the exact opposite of that.

FALCONS (-10) over Jets

            It just feels like a game the Falcons need to wake up and win. If they flounder here, stick a fork in them.
 

Ethan’s Picks

Chiefs - this is the first time I am betting against the Titans this year, but I need to turn things around.

Ravens

Jaguars - if this was under 10 points I would take St. Louis.

Patriots - their WRs are starting to show up and I like the direction the defense is going.

Seahawks - the colts have been on fire but Seattle’s D is the best in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE.

Lions - I like the Lions to outright win this game.

Saints - they will blitz the daylights out of Cutler, Cutler folds.

Giants - this will be the sloppiest game of the year, 7 combine TOs.

Panthers

Cowboys - I think they will cover, Broncos win by a TD.

Texans

Chargers

Falcons

 

No Credentials Last Week = 6-9

Ethan Last Week = 8-7
No Credentials Season = 31-30-2
Ethan’s Record = 34-27-2
Our Thursday Pick = 1-0 (we’ve both hit four Thursdays in a row, we’re money at picking mediocre, sloppy football games between teams that only had three days off)