10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (11/9-11/11)

10. President Obama Awarded Florida’s Electoral Votes
            If this year’s presidential election were a football game, we’d call the result of Florida finally counting their votes running up the score.

(SHORT RANT ALERT: 12 years ago, the United States was paralyzed by the state of Florida taking a month to figure out how to count votes. Isn’t it about time they figure this shit out? If a state as screwed up as California can manage to count their votes in one night, so should Florida)

9. Texas Honors Legendary Coach Darrell Royal With an Epic Wishbone Play

            Some backstory…Darrell Royal was a three-time National Championship winning head coach for Texas, and is still their all-time leader in wins. He was the first coach to bring the Wishbone offense to college football in 1968. Royal passed away this past week, and the Longhorns vowed to honor him on their first offensive play. No one expected what happened when Texas snapped the ball.

8. Ravens Destroy Oakland

            It’s nice to check the score of the team you picked in a suicide pool and see that they are up by 38 points.

7. Messi Tallies Goals #75 and #76

            When any record that Pele held is broken, that deserves at least a golf clap.

6. Yahoo’s Fantasy Sports Server Crashes

            There wasn’t a more inconvenient time for this to happen than a half hour before the 1pm games started. For those of you that lost your fantasy match up this week due to being unable to make substitutions at 12:50pm, I offer my condolences. 

5. The Philadelphia Eagles Stink

            You know things are tough in the city of brotherly love when even the Dallas Cowboys look competent when you are playing them.
          
4. Texans Make a Statement, Win in Chicago
            After getting shellacked at home by Green Bay, it was important for the AFC’s best team to perform well against the other top NFC North club.

3. Saints Late Goal-Line Stand Seals Win Over Falcons
            Don’t look now, but New Orleans has slowly crawled out of their 0-4 hole to give themselves a chance to make a playoff push in the second half.

2. Johnny Manziel Rocks Alabama

            You can read all about Texas A&M’s epic upset in Tuscaloosa here, but I’m instead going to write about what how awesome Johnny Manziel is. Not the man (he reminds me of a young Tony Romo, which sounds like a back-handed compliment, but can work in the SEC), but his name. Johnny Manziel easily could’ve been the name of the quarterback in “Varsity Blues”. How can you not be awesome at something when your name is Johnny Manziel? Obviously Manziel excels at football, but here’s a short list of other things you could be great at with a name like Johnny Manziel.

Lead Guitarist

A-List Actor
Drug Dealer
Spy
Iron Chef
Race-Car Driver

1. Jimmie Johnson Blows a Tire, and Jeff Gordon Loses His Mind

            For those confused by the headline, Jeff Gordon was not driven insane by walking in on Jimmie Johnson performing oral sex on a Goodyear. Johnson’s right front tire failure puts his championship hopes on life support. Jeff Gordon’s attempt to reenact a move done by countless people who’ve played any racing video game has tarnished his image. We’ll talk more about this later this week (hopefully!).