10. NASCAR Adopts New Points System
Because America was demanding it. Surely a new points system will save NASCAR’s sagging attendance and television ratings. I don’t know about you, but when I’ve been watching a NASCAR race over the last 20 years, I’ve said aloud countless times, “Boy, wouldn’t NASCAR be great if they changed the way they awarded driver points? That would be swell!”
NASCAR just can’t get out of its own way anymore. Ever since the 2004 season (the first year of their playoff system, and the height of the sports popularity), it’s been a steady downhill fall ever since. The collapse of the economy was a major factor, as NASCAR is the most corporate driven sports league in America. It’s hard to find a business willing to pony up six figures to plaster their corporate logo all over the side of a racecar. The other lesser-known part of this is that corporations were responsible for the bulk of ticket purchases. I used to go to the Cup races at Loudon every year because my Dad used to get free tickets from an auto parts company. Couple that with the flying brick they call a racecar and bland personalities (there’s a reason Nike had zero interest in signing Jimmie Johnson to an endorsement deal. And he’s won the last five championships), and you have a sport that is at a serious crossroads.
(READER ALERT: I cracked a joke in my fake e-mail response column about how I wouldn’t post a NASCAR preview, but I think I have to do it. I grew up with NASCAR (my Dad used to work on a race team in the Northeast back in the late 70s/early 80s), so I think I’m pot committed to do it. I don’t care if no one reads it. As a matter of fact, I should probably encourage you not to read it.)
9. Bar in St. Paul Roasts a 180-Pound Bear During NFC Championship Game
Next year when the Cowboys play Philadelphia, I would like to capture an eagle and cook it in a crock-pot all day after reading this story. You know, if eagles weren’t endangered species or anything.
8. Evgeni Nabokov Refuses to Report to New York Islanders
I’ll agree with Nabokov on the point that it’s pretty weird that the team with the worst record in the NHL would attempt to add a 35-year old goalie with only 3 months left in the season. At this point, they should just try to bottom out and go for the 1st overall pick. We’ll see if Nabokov ends up in Detroit (the team that originally signed him) after all, or some other contender (Colorado should take a look. Their goaltending has been awful this year).
7. Kobe Bryant Calls Denver Nuggets’ Fans “Idiots”
Aggressive move by a guy who still hears about his rape trial eight years ago every time he plays at Denver. Even Lebron James has to respect how brazen Kobe’s defense of Carmelo Anthony was.
6. Texas Ends Kansas’ 69-Game Home Winning Streak
The inclusion of this event at #6 is a very weak attempt on my part to show that I’ve followed college basketball so my March Madness columns in a month and half sound sort of credible. Or as credible as a column can be on a blog called “No Credentials At All.” I think I’ve watched 15 minutes of college basketball all year, but then again, isn’t that true for 75% of people who end up filling out brackets? I couldn’t tell you a damn thing about San Diego State other than they are undefeated and ranked in the top 10. I can’t wait until March when everyone pretends they are college basketball experts.
5. Keith Olbermann Quits
I wish he could bring every other left/right wing television host along with him, and then go back to hosting “Sportscenter”. Because that’s what he was best at.
4. Toronto Blue Jays Trade Vernon Wells to Angels
Congratulations to the Angels for knocking the Washington Nationals off of the
top spot for most ridiculous move of the off-season. They weren’t willing to pony up an extra $3 million to match Boston’s offer to Carl Crawford, but they’ll trade a couple of guys to acquire an outfielder who is three years older, not as productive, and makes more money than they would’ve had to pay Crawford? Huh?
3. Tampa Bay Rays Sign Manny Ramirez and Johnny Damon
I’ve heard rumors that they plan on also signing Kevin Millar and Mark Bellhorn. If they can also bring Trot Nixon into the fold, watch out.
2. Green Bay Packers Survive Chicago Rally, Win NFC Championship
What a sloppy game. Watching Caleb Hanie kind of felt like I was watching myself play basketball. There were a whole lot of “what the hell” plays he made (the interception he through to Green Bay’s B.J. Raji, who weighs 335 pounds. How do you not see a guy that big?), and an equal number of “how the hell did he” throws (the ones to Johnny Knox to set up the first Bears touchdown, and his TD pass to Earl Bennett). That’s probably why he’s a 3rd string quarterback.
Speaking of my basketball game (because I know tons of you care about it), last Monday was my most up and down performance yet. On two successive plays, I ran into my own teammates while they were driving to the basket (one of them I decided to cut to the basket right when he started driving, the other I was trying to set a pick right as my teammate started dribbling right at me. That’s what you get for trying to help out). Shortly after, I hit a Rondo-esque runner in the lane (I’m not sure how I even penetrated into the lane, I’m pretty sure it was an accident) and then a 25-footer. My game is more up and down than Mark Sanchez’s ability to throw the ball to an open receiver.
1. Steelers Go Up 24-0, Hang On Against Jets
You could say that the Jets lost by the length of their baby toe. You could also say that they had to put their foot in their own mouth after the game was over. You could also say that nothing cures athlete’s foot like tough actin’ Tinactin, but that wouldn’t be very relevant.
I was pretty surprised how easily Pittsburgh ran the ball on the Jets. If Pittsburgh can have similar success against Green Bay, I like them to win their 7th Super Bowl.
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