10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (9/6-9/8)

10. Jaguars Put Up Two Points Against Kansas City
            As if there was any doubt which club I’m doing my Madden franchise with this season (I pick the worst team), Jacksonville sealed the deal with a turd-sandwich in their home debut.

9. Some Guy Named Yusmeiro Petit Almost Throws a Perfect Game

            Here’s reason number 56,893 why MLB was better when everyone was on steroids.

8. Serena Williams Wins Fifth U.S. Open

            At some point, she has to stop winning majors, right?

7. New York Jets Gift-Wrapped Season Opening Victory Over Tampa Bay
            There wasn’t a more unimpressive team in Week 1 than the pathetic Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who ended up with third and 35 on their opening series. Josh Freeman’s days under center are numbered.

6. Miami Hurricanes Upset #12 Florida

            College football is way more interesting when The U is relevant.

5. Clint Bowyer Intentionally Spins Out, Removing Jeff Gordon and Ryan Newman From The Chase

(EDITORS NOTE: The following is the paragraph I had written immediately following the conclusion of Saturday night’s race at Richmond)

            I have a confession to make…I spun out several times in NASCAR Thunder 2000 to bring out cautions. I don’t feel great about it, but it’s great to come clean, and at least I didn’t cost two guys a spot in the NASCAR playoffs.

            That paragraph still stands, except NASCAR showed some massive balls and penalized Michael Waltrip Racing late Monday night. The previous link sums up the story pretty well, but I’ll say what it didn’t say… Michael Waltrip is a cheat, a scoundrel, a scumbag, and a dumbass.

4. Cowboys Win Bizarre Season Opener Against Giants

            It wasn’t pretty, but Dallas finally beat New York in their new building.

3. Eminem is Interviewed By Brent Musberger on Live Television
            We’ll let the raw video do the talking here.

 

2. 49ers Beat Green Bay Again

            Green Bay shouldn’t hang their heads after their performance Sunday, but the bottom line is San Francisco is the toughest team to fight in the trenches.    

1. Patriots Get a Push, Still Pull Out Win in Buffalo

            New England’s offense was dynamic when Danny Amendola was on the field, and mediocre when he was off of it. They’ll be a force if they can ever get him and Rob Gronkowski healthy at the same time.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (9/7-9/9)

10. Washington Nationals Shut Down Stephen Strasburg
            I’m all for making long-term decisions, but taking Strasburg out of the 2012 playoffs doesn’t just hurt the Nationals, it hurts all of baseball. For a sport dealing with sagging TV ratings, having it’s top-pitching phenom would’ve been a welcome boost.

9. Successful Appeal Allows Suspended “Bountygate” Players to Play

            It’s about time Sheriff Goodell got a slap on the wrist.

8. Serena Williams Survives, Wins Fourth US Open Title

            I was in junior high school when Serena Williams won her first major title. That’s scary.

7. Louisiana-Monroe Upsets #8 Arkansas

            College football isn’t on the No Credentials radar, but we do love it the epic David vs. Goliath upsets that occur every year or two during the opening weeks of the season.

6. Brady Gets His Schnozz Busted, Leads Patriots Blow Out Anyway

            There wasn’t a more terrifying performance in the NFL than what the New England Patriots delivered Sunday. Stevan Ridley was fantastic, racking up 125 yards and a touchdown. The defense was rock solid, with their two first round picks creating a touchdown, and Titans star Chris Johnson only managing four yards on eleven carries (apologizes to you suckers who drafted him in fantasy leagues this year). 

5. Adrian Peterson Makes Emphatic Return

            Just over nine months ago, Peterson tore his ACL. Incredibly, he looks like it never happened. Don’t be surprised if it comes out that Peterson is a Terminator.

4. Jeff Gordon Makes Miraculous Rally to Make Chase

            An ill-handling racecar dropped him all the way back to 25^th, one lap down. Incredibly, Jeff Gordon’s crew adjusted his car, and Gordon reminded everyone what made him the king of the sport in the late ‘90s. It didn’t matter that Gordon finished second to Clint Bowyer. This run may be the springboard for him to finally capture a fifth championship.

3. Alex Smith, Randy Moss Shine in 49ers Victory at Lambeau Field
            What do you know defense does still matter!

2. Robert Griffin III Silences No Credentials, Leads Upset of Saints

            This blog bashed the trade Washington made to get Robert Griffin III. Multiple times. By my count, at least on five different occasions. Part of their success today may be attributed to the mess that is the New Orleans Saints (I guess a head coach does matter. Should’ve remembered that before I wagered $50 on them), but nevertheless, No Credentials has to tip their cap to RGIII and the Washington Redskins.

1. Peyton Manning Still Has It

            He wasn’t chucking it deep like he was back in the day to Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison, but other than that, it looked like the old Peyton Manning Sunday night.