10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (12/3-12/5)

10. Auburn and Oregon Punch Tickets to BCS Championship Game

            I wrote about this scenario in last weeks 10-pack, but I’m quite pleased that it is a reality. I’m predicting that Auburn will out muscle the Ducks, but if Cam Newton gets wined and dined a little too much during the Heisman tour, it could open the door for Oregon (that happened to Ohio State quarterback Troy Smith a few years back against Florida. He attended so many banquets he gained about 65 pounds.)

9. Jeter Resigns With Yankees

            Unbelievably, Jeter was able to weasel an extra $7 million out of the Yankees. This would’ve been higher, but the 5th item on this list bumped it down. It was nice to see the Yankees show their respect to Jeter. You don’t see that often in pro sports.

8. Dolphins and Browns Play One of the Ugliest Games Ever

            Due to not having NFL Sunday ticket, I was stuck with this game on CBS at 1pm. What a terrible game. I guess you can’t expect too much when the two quarterbacks are Jake Delhomme and Chad Henne, but this game didn’t even meet my very low expectations. At least there was plenty of humor to come out of this game (a field goal attempt hitting the upright, Chad Henne throwing three terrible interceptions, both teams combining to go 6-28 with 3^rd down conversations, and combining for approximately 46 punts) that it was still watchable.

7. WNBA Commissioner Resigns

            Until this was reported, I was completely unaware that there was a WNBA Commissioner.

6. Bengals Gift Wrap Victory for New Orleans

            It's been said on a few ESPN shows already, but I'll repeat it (because I'm lazy)...would any other team in the league jump offsides on 4th down when it is obvious the other team will not snap the ball?

5. Washington Nationals Sign Jayson Werth to an Insane Contract

            I’ve read plenty of stories about this signing, and I don’t know where I stand at this point. For those of you not in the know, the Washington Nationals (perennial doormats in the National League East) signed 32-year old outfielder Jayson Werth to a 7-year, $126 million contract (I guess the economy is on the way back up).

            On one hand, this contract is completely ludicrous. Paying this kind of money to a 32-year old player who only has 684 career hits is preposterous. Werth typically hit 5^th or 6^th for the Phillies, and has never had to carry a team. Now he’s being paid to do just that until he turns 39 years old. His high strikeout totals are not a good trait when projecting how a player will age. 

            On the other hand though, this signing gets people excited about the Washington Nationals at a time when their best young pitcher (Stephen Strasburg) will be out for the season and their best young prospect (Bryce Harper) is probably a year away from contributing at the major league level. Washington has plenty of money to spend, but has had difficulty convincing top free agents to sign with them. They were big players in the Mark Teixeira sweepstakes two years ago, but couldn’t compete with the Yankees. Going out and overpaying for a player of Werth’s caliber will at least show future free agents that they are willing to do what it takes to compete. It also completely screws up salary expectations for the rest of the 2010 free agent class. Carl Crawford has enough leverage now to try to get the Red Sox, Angels, or Yankees to pay him $180 million over 8 years. Any deal that infuriates every other GM in Major League Baseball deserves a pat on the back.

4. “The Walking Dead” Season Finale

            This is a bittersweet event for me. While I loved the first season of this show, I’m disappointed that we will have to wait a while for season 2.

3. Red Sox Acquire First Basemen Adrian Gonzalez From San Diego

            For a more extended analysis, check out my Saturday post on this trade. If you don’t want to check that out, then just know that Adrian Gonzalez is going to be a monster at Fenway Park.

2. Peyton Manning Continues His Brett Favre Impersonation Against Dallas

            What happens when a quarterback is on a team that has poor offensive line play, can’t run the ball, and has back-up wide receivers trying to read blitzes? The quarterback will try to force the issue, and turn the ball over at an alarming rate. We’ve seen this happen plenty of times with Brett Favre (the first half of the ‘00s with Green Bay, this year with Minnesota), and we’re seeing it this year with Peyton Manning. I mean, if Orlando Scandrick is picking off a pass and running it back for 6, then you really have issues (for those of you who haven’t seen much of the Cowboys the last few years, Scandrick is the Cowboys nickelback who constantly gets roasted by opposing wide receivers. I almost involuntarily soiled myself after he picked Manning off).

            Does Peyton Manning’s 11 interceptions in his last three games mean that he’s washed up? I say no. Indianapolis is clearly not going very far this season (whether they make the playoffs or not), but next year, if they can do anything to make their offensive line better, they will be back to the Colts we’ve all come to know and love (or hate). A stud runningback wouldn’t hurt either.  

1. Troy Polamalu and Ben Roethlisberger’s Schnozz Save Steelers

            All right, Roethlisberger’s nose had very little to do with the win, but did you see what it looked like? The next time the letter “C” is featured on “Sesame Street”, they could use a picture of Roethlisberger’s nose as an example.

            I’m not exactly sure what the Ravens were thinking throwing the ball on 2^nd down. After Ray Rice had gotten five yards on the first play, wouldn’t it make more sense to keep running the ball to run the clock down? Worst-case scenario is punting and pinning the Steelers back at the 20-yard line with two minutes to go (no way the Steelers were going to march 80 yards against the Ravens defense last night). Best-case scenario is Rice running for the first down in one of the next two plays. Barring a Rice fumble (which rarely happens), you avoid a costly turnover that gives Pittsburgh great field position and a chance to win the game.

            You have to tip your cap to Troy Polamalu on this play. I’m not sure exactly how fast he got to Joe Flacco, but I’ve estimated that it was probably about 0.013453 seconds. In other words, really, really fast. If Polamalu keeps flying around like that, the Steelers can go along way in the playoffs (assuming they don’t run into the Patriots. Hopefully for their sake the Jets will take care of that).

           

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (11/26-11/28)

10. R.I.P. Leslie Nielsen

            While watching “Airplane!” on cable a few weeks ago, I went on an extended rant about how I felt Nielsen was one of the most underrated comedic actors of all time. Perhaps now that he’s passed he’ll get his due.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: I don’t think it’s awesome that Nielsen passed away, but I do think it’s awesome that we can recognize the man’s career. Just wanted to clear that up for anyone who may have been confused.)

9.  Derek Jeter and New York Yankees Still Far Apart

            There are rumors that Jeter has asked the Yankees for a six-year deal worth $150 million. New York is sticking to their offer of three years, $45 million. They have also encouraged Jeter to try to find a better offer if he is not satisfied with what the Yankees are willing to pay him.

            Isn’t it about time for the Red Sox to swoop in and offer Jeter a $100 million contract? If I’m Jeter, I’m placing calls to Theo Epstein everyday. This is the only way he’s going to get the Yankees to budge, as I find it hard to believe that A) Jeter would sign with Boston, and B) New York would let him go to Boston. It would be a bold bluff by the Red Sox (as there is no way they should actually want him on their team at this point), but if it could potentially result in New York paying a 36-year old shortstop $100+ million for several years, I would make the gamble and try to stir the pot.

8. Miami Heat Lose to the Dallas Mavericks, Fall to 9-8

            I promise that this will be the last time I write about a basketball team that is barely over .500. Well, at least until Thursday when Lebron returns to Cleveland for the first time since taking his talents to South Beach. I might have to do an instant reaction after that game.

7. No One in the United States Died at a Wal-Mart on Black Friday

            Although footage from a Target showed that we almost lost a couple of shoppers there. I understand that many people feel pressure to get the perfect gift, but do we have to trample over other human beings to do it? I’ll take Cyber Monday, where I can sit in my boxers in the comfort of my own home and order stuff online, over Black Friday, where I have to where body armor to survive, any day.

           

(QUICK TANGENT ALERT: Why had I never heard of Cyber Monday until just now? How long has this been going on? And does Cyber Monday just involve shopping, or does it include online poker, World of Warcraft, and porn? I don’t get how we all of a sudden decided to name the Monday after Thanksgiving Cyber Monday. In related news, I just named the second Wednesday after President’s Day “Wiggles Wednesday”. TOOT TOOT CHUGGA CHUGGA BIG RED CAR)

6. Chargers Destroy Colts in Indianapolis

            I missed an hour of this game while watching “The Walking Dead”, but I did manage to catch all four of Peyton Manning’s interceptions. Everyone talks about how the Colts have a lot of banged up receivers, but it looks to me like they are in need of some serious upgrades along the offensive line. If Manning didn’t get the ball out in less than two seconds, he was toast. I have a feeling that the Colts aren’t dead (they are still tied for first in their division), but I don’t see them making a lot of noise come playoff time.

(QUICK TANGENT #2: NBC needs to ditch the “I’ve Been Waiting All Day For Sunday Night” song. Faith Hill hasn’t made it work in four years. Pink bailed on it after the first season. The original song, “I Hate Myself For Loving You” by Joan Jett, was not one of Joan’s finest efforts. Come on NBC. Start the game five minutes earlier so we don’t have to listen to that terrible song)

5. Obama Gets 12 Stitches After Getting Elbowed in a Pick-Up Game

            No word yet on whether or not the GOP is blaming the cut on Obama’s failed economic policies, although I’m sure they are looking for a link.

4. Falcons Kick Late Field Goal to Beat Green Bay

            Impressive win by Atlanta. If they finish 4-1, they should have home-field throughout the NFC playoffs.

3. Andre Johnson Wins a Unanimous Decision Over Cortland Finnegan

            About 70,000 people went to Reliant Stadium in Houston to watch a football game, and what do ya know, a boxing match broke out. One of the strangest NFL brawls I’ve ever seen. Rarely do you see two players end up with both of their helmets off, and then trying to punch each other in the face. If I were Finnegan, I would’ve quickly tried to put my helmet back on. You don’t want to mess with Andre Johnson.

2. Boise State Kicker Misses Two Chip-Shots, Nevada Takes Advantage

            I stayed up about two hours past my bedtime to watch the end of this game. Here is the list of events and circumstances that made this game particularly memorable.

-         Nevada came back from a 24-7 deficit to tie the game.

-         On their first offensive play after Nevada tied the game, Boise State completed an 80-yard screen pass for a touchdown.

-         After falling behind again, Nevada drove down the field to tie the game with 15 seconds left. As soon as the referee raised his arms to signal a touchdown, a cannon was shot off. This has no relevance to the game, but there was a lot of smoke and it was really loud. Good times.

-         On their first offensive play after Nevada tied the game, Boise quarterback Kellen Moore completed a ridiculous 53-yard bomb to wide receiver Titus Young with two seconds left to play. If Boise State went on to win the game, this could have been the most memorable play of the college football season.

-         After being set up on the 9-yard line with two seconds left, kicker Kyle Brotzman pushed a 26-yard field goal wide right. This goes down in my book as the most shocking moment of the college football season.

-         Kyle Brotzman missed a field goal attempt again in overtime (this time wide left), setting up Nevada to kick a field goal with their overtime possession to win the game.

This was a truly epic game. I hope a few of you were able to take it in. 

1. Auburn Tigers Stage Dramatic 24-Point Comeback at Alabama

            While this contest didn’t have as many dramatic moments as Boise State-Nevada, the contest was magnified by what was on the line for Auburn. Cam Newton wasn’t as effective as he normally is on the ground, but made plenty of plays through the air to lead a comeback. I hope Auburn and Oregon take care of business in their last games, because if that match-up can hold up, we will be able to see the best National Championship Game since USC-Texas in January of 2006.