10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (9/27-9/29)

10. San Francisco Giants Give Hunter Pence $90 Million Extension
            Because when you can grossly overpay for a guy who put up a .283-27-99 line, you have to do it. I guess.

9. Henderson Alvarez Throws MLB’s Third No-Hitter in 2013

            Reason number 63,239,120,134 why baseball needs steroids. At least this no hitter was quirky.

8. Jimmie Johnson Wins Record Eighth Race at Dover

            No Credentials isn’t right very often (check our Week 4 NFL picks for proof), but we feel pretty good about nominating the Kenseth-Johnson-Busch trio as the cars to beat for the 2013 title. Johnson has put all memories of his late-summer swoon to bed.

7. Georgia Outguns LSU
            In a rare shoot-out in the SEC, Georgia’s Aaron Murray proved to be too much for LSU in the fourth quarter. After a season opening loss at Clemson, Georgia has put itself back into the national championship picture with two impressive conference victories.

6. Andy Pettitte Tosses a Complete Game in His Final Start

            Sunday was a nice moment for Pettitte, who during the Yankees dominant run in the late-90s was one of the key home grown cornerstones along with Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera.

5. Broncos Drop 52 on Philadelphia
            Peyton Manning and company simply ran the Eagles defense out of the building. Manning is on pace for 64 touchdowns through the first quarter of the season, which is a Madden-like pace.

4. Patriots Notch First Impressive Win of the Season, Beat Falcons

            Like most of this weekend’s NFL results, No Credentials didn’t see this one coming. Roddy White’s high ankle sprain has really put a damper on the Falcons offense. Unfortunately, the win came at the cost of Vince Wilfork, who is done for the season.

3. Seahawks Pull Off 17-Point Comeback in Houston

            Even Tony Romo said, “Man, that was a shitty throw”, when Matt Schaub made an awful across the body pass off his back foot that ended up in Richard Sherman’s hands. Denver has been flashier, but Seattle is the most impressive team in the first month of the season.

2. USC Cans Lane Kiffin

            As far as slime-ball college football coachs go, Lane Kiffin is at the top of the list. He’s never done anything that warranted any head coaching position he’s held. Glad to see him get the boot.

1. Walter White Takes Care of Business

            It was a fitting finale for one of the greatest television characters of all time.    

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (5/11-5/13)

10. Osi Umenyiora Wishes LeSean McCoy a Happy Mother’s Day
            I’ll give Umenyiora an A+ for one of the more clever uses of Twitter in recent memory.

9. Andy Pettitte Returns

            Pettitte is going to have to order up a double shot of HGH after getting roughed up by the light-hitting Seattle Mariners Sunday.

8. Josh Hamilton Keeps Going Bonkers

            Hamilton is in a stratosphere of dominance right now usually reserved for Barry Bonds and Ken Griffey Jr. in TECMO Super Baseball. I had the chance to draft Hamilton in three leagues this year (as in, there were three drafts where it was him or another player that I was going to take at some point in the third or fourth round), but sadly only took him in one. Bummer.

7. Lebron and Wade Lead Bosh-less Heat

            I could see Indiana keeping four games with Miami close through 3 quarters, but the Lebron-Wade combo figuring out a way to win all of them.

6. Defying History, Clippers Win at Memphis

            This is one of the most confusing series I ever remember following in the past 10 years. I guess when characters like Zach Randolph and Vinny Del Negro are involved, craziness should be expected. Los Angeles has earned the right to get slaughtered by San Antonio in the second round.

5. Jimmie Johnson Earns Win #200 For Rick Hendrick

            Check out this page for a bunch of assorted facts about Rick Hendrick’s 200 wins in the Winston/Nextel/Sprint Cup Series. The numbers say that Mr. Hendrick is very fortunate to have employed Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson over the past 18 years. 

4. Lakers Take Game 7, Earn Second Round Date With Oklahoma City

            Normally Laker victories don’t rank that high in this space, but I made a bunch of money thanks to the heroics of Steve Blake. 

3. Manchester City Scores Twice in Injury Time, Steals Premier League Title From Manchester United

            It’s hard enough to score two goals in 90 minutes, much less two goals in stoppage time. Considering the stakes, this is one of the most incredible comebacks in EPL history.

2. Rangers Finally Eliminate Pesky Capitals

            In a Stanley Cup Playoffs that has been completely upside down, the New York Rangers advancing to the Eastern Conference Finals is the only thing that makes sense.

1. Hobbled Celtics Survive Game 1 Against 76ers

            It wasn’t a thing of beauty, but Boston was bailed out by the play of Rajon Rondo and Kevin Garnett. I had more nice things to say before Game 2 of this series set the game of basketball back 60 years.         

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (3/16-3/18)

10. QVC Has Annual St. Patrick’s Day Celebration
            For 23 years running now, the bastards at QVC have been fleecing elderly women out of their social security checks every St. Patrick’s Day, peddling gaudy jewelry and overpriced sweaters. Some Irish dude who always wears a ridiculous tie runs the whole operation. They even have Celtic Thunder in the house for “live music” (live is in quotes because their audio track skipped at about 11:20pm Saturday night and thousands of blue hairs across the nation found out that they’ve been lip synching all these years. Against all odds, that event was the highlight of my St. Patrick’s Day). The only disappointing part of QVC’s celebration this year? For the very first time, the event didn’t last 24 straight hours (Obama may or may not have stepped in behind closed doors to save the elderly from these crooks). I’m not sure why I shared this paragraph with you, but assuming the bulk of my audience doesn’t watch QVC, I’m happy to educate.

9. Andy Pettitte Signs 1-Year Deal With Yankees
            The skeptic in me is willing to bet that Pettitte was juicing for an entire year during his “retirement”, and wouldn’t be stunned at all if he comes back throwing 95 mph.

8. Georgetown Beats Belmont By 15

            I’d like to thank the dumbass at Sportsbook.com who only had Georgetown as 3.5-point favorites Friday. One of the better wins for No Credentials gambling account in a long time. 

7. Patriots Sign WR Brandon Lloyd

            Only having to pay $12 million over three years for a guy who led the league in receiving yards two years ago? Ridiculous.

6. Matt Flynn Signs With Seattle

            Most folks figured that Flynn would be left in limbo until Peyton Manning chose his new team, but kudos to him for inking a deal with the Seahawks. They were a competitive team last season with Tavaris the Virus at quarterback, so anything is an upgrade.

5. Brad Keselowski Wins Second Straight at Bristol

            Any fears of Keselowski’s championship hopes being dashed by his teams lame duck status with Dodge were put to rest by his dominant performance at Bristol.

4. The Farm is Lost on “The Walking Dead”

            Unfortunately, more of the living weren’t (I’m looking at you Sophia’s mom, T-Dog, ect.).

3. Norfolk State Defeats #2 Missouri 

2. Lehigh Defeats #2 Duke
            As bummed out as I was to lose one of my Final 4 teams in the first round (only the second time that has happened in my bracket career), I was elated to see Coach K and the Blue Devils sent home from the tournament.

1. Peyton Manning Joins the Broncos, Ends Tebowmania

            We cheated for this one (it happened Monday), but that’s allowed when such an epic transaction occurs. We’ll discuss more later this week, but I do want to ask one question...if Peyton Manning's neck breaks in the first quarter of week 1, will God be responsible?