10. NFL Lockout Reinstated
Hopefully players were able to make some use out of the team facilities while they were able to use them for about 40 minutes. At this point, it’s almost like the NFL is trying to intentionally antagonize their fans. Think of it like a rock band that put out an album that was universally praised by the masses (something along the lines of “Nevermind” by Nirvana), but then made their follow-up album less accessible to the general public. One would think that as long as games are not delayed or lost in the fall, people will watch, but the decline in TV ratings for the NFL Draft (down 20% on the first night from last year’s coverage) would indicate that sports fans are a little tired of football and it’s labor issues.
9. Derek Lowe Apologizes For DUI
Of all professional athletes, Derek Lowe would’ve ranked relatively low on the list of players I would expect to get arrested for racing their Porsche while drunk.
8. New England Patriots Draft QB Ryan Mallet in 3rd Round
Before idiot Patriots fans get more overly excited than they already are about drafting Tom Brady’s “future replacement”, let me quickly explain to you why this pick was made.
It was one day this past March, and Bill Belichick was in his office coming up with new zone blitz packages. He had ESPN on the television. He wasn’t paying much attention to it until he heard Tom Brady’s name. Then all of a sudden, he sees this. He’s got a f***ing ponytail, the Hoodie thinks to himself. Wait is he dancing…there’s no way he’s dancing…holy s*** he’s f***ing dancing.
It is at that moment that Belichick realized that he needed to rattle Brady’s cage, hence the reason he tabs a quarterback who he knows the media will anoint as the heir to the starting QB gig in New England. Knowing how competitive Brady is (he still gets emotional talking about having to wait until the 6th round to get drafted), Belichick now knows he will have a fully invested Brady going into 2011. The icing on the cake will be when the Patriots rope some desperate franchise into trading a first and third round pick in the 2013 draft for Mallet.
7. Indians Sweep Tigers
Before the season, I predicted that Cleveland would finish 4th in the AL Central with a record of 63-99. Amazingly, on May 1st, this team has already won 19 of its first 27 games and is showing no signs of stopping. Eventually the pitching should come back to Earth a little bit (hopefully not Justin Masterson. For a guy I figured would be off my fantasy team within a month, he’s been pretty solid), but their offense looks much stronger than originally thought.
6. Sharks Take First Two Games Over Red Wings
A year ago, Antti Niemi was the goaltender for a Blackhawks team that swept San Jose in the Western Conference Finals. After receiving little interest from other NHL teams as a free agent last off-season, Niemi signed a 1-year, $2.5 million deal with San Jose. By the time the playoffs rolled around this year, he had secured the starting goalie spot in San Jose, and so far in the series against Detroit, he has been their best player. What a difference a year makes.
5. Predators Win Game 2 in Vancouver in Double Overtime
Nashville, behind elite goaltending from Pekka Rinne, managed to steal a game from top seeded Vancouver. This looks like it will be a series full of 1-0, 2-1 type games.
4. Heat Control Game 1 Against Boston
As a Celtic’s homer, it’s easy to blame their long layoff after sweeping the Knicks as the reason for Boston being so rusty. However, Miami only had to play one extra game that was two days later. Perhaps Paul Pierce’s ejection will get the Celtics fired up for Game 2.
3. Bruins Pummel Flyers in Game 1
I predicted that Boston would have an easier time scoring goals against Philadelphia than they did against Montreal, but certainly didn’t expect them to score seven in one game. The Bruins blew a 3-0 series lead (and 3-0 lead in Game 7) against Philadelphia last year, so don’t expect them to step off the accelerator.
2. Lightning Take 2 in Washington
Tampa Bay’s second win was particularly impressive, because they rallied to win after Alexander Ovechkin tied the game with just over a minute left in regulation. The Capitals out shot Tampa 37-23 in Game 2, but 79-year-old goalie Dwayne Roloson has morphed into a brick wall. A hot goalie can lead even a mediocre team all the way to the Stanley Cup. If you were to pick the two hottest goalies in the league right now, it would be Roloson and Antti Niemi.
1. Grizzlies Eliminate Spurs, Then Blast Thunder in Game 1
Before one can truly analyze how amazing the Grizzlies accomplishments are this season, one needs to first look at the events of the past three years that have shaped the make-up of the team.
February 1st, 2008 – Memphis trades franchise C-PF Pau Gasol to Los Angeles for at the time was considered the basketball equivalent of a poop sandwich. Little did we know at the time that his younger brother Marc (who was sent from LA to Memphis) would turn into a solid NBA center.
June 25th, 2009 – The Grizzlies draft Hasheem Thabeet out of the University of Connecticut with the 2nd overall pick in the draft. Thabeet will go down as one of the biggest top-5 busts in NBA Draft history. He spent a great deal of time playing in the D-League, and eventually, Memphis traded Thabeet (along with a future first round draft pick) to Houston for Shane Battier. To rephrase, Memphis gave away a future first round pick so they could get rid of a player they had just picked a year and a half earlier with the 2nd overall pick in the draft, and somehow benefited from the trade.
July 17th, 2009 – Memphis trades for Zach Randolph, who at one point was one of the poster boys for the Jail-Blazers. After wearing out his welcome with Portland, New York, and the LA Clippers, Randolph blossoms into an All-Star caliber power forward.
February 2011 – Star small forward Rudy Gay, who was in the midst of a career year, tears his rotator cuff and is lost for the season while Memphis is still fighting for a spot in the playoffs. While this would have devastated most teams, playing time is opened up for both Shane Battier and O.J. Mayo, who have since thrived defensively.
To sum up these four listed events, Memphis somehow benefited from poor trades, a risky free agent signing, an injury to a key player, and a horrendous draft pick. Memphis is like a guy that crashed his car, peed his pants, punched an old lady in the face, and yet somehow ended up with an attractive girl. I’m hoping we see seven games between them and the Thunder.
