I'm Not Smart Enough to Appreciate the San Francisco Giants

     I'm on the record calling the 2014 World Series the worst match up in the history of the sport, which is a statement supported by numerous advanced statistics. but perhaps it's time to re-calibrate our expectations of a MLB team. In my youth, the best teams rolled out offensive juggernauts that featured six or seven elite hitters. The juggernaut Yankees teams during their dynasty come to mind first, but we also saw the Indian's teams in the mid-90s (Albert Belle and Manny Ramirez would've been enough to carry a team, but they had five other dudes who could rake too), Seattle when they featured Ken Griffey Jr. and Alex Rodriguez,and lastly the curse breaking Red Sox lineup in 2004. These teams hit the ball hard, and it often went very far.
     San Francisco has Buster Posey, Hunter Pence, and a bunch of other no name hitters, but in today's pitching dominated climate, that doesn't matter. Madison Bumgarner delivered a historic World Series performance that our first reaction is to devalue because of the lack of hitting, but that ultimately isn't fair. We're tired of being a baseball grump. The Giants are the fifth team in MLB history to win three titles in five years, which is remarkable. We still think the '98 Yankees or '04 Red Sox would smash them to smithereens, but we're still tipping our cap to the Giants.

The End of the Weekend Review

            We’ve been doing the weekend review know for four years, which is kind of hard to believe. Originally, it was a gimmick that would guarantee I would produce content at least once a week. It worked for a while (click here and read how much I typed. Holy cow!), but lately you’re lucky if you get two sentences per topic out of me.

            That’s why we’re here to announce that we are putting the “10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend” to bed. This doesn’t mean the blog is ending, as we’ll have more time to devote to more focused pieces. Can you believe we haven’t talked about fantasy sports since July? Or done an Angels of Satan in over a year? That’s a problem.

            To those of you that enjoyed the weekend review, I offer my apologies, but you can look forward to a better No Credentials At All for the foreseeable future.

NFL Week 8 Thoughts

     Thankfully, we finally fell under .500 last week, so we're taking the rest of the season off from making picks based off point spreads. Well, except for one game a week.

Washington (+10) over COWBOYS

     We've picked against my Dallas Cowboys every week of the NFL season, and I firmly believe that's the reason they are 6-1. So even if there are no other picks in this space, we'll always post a Cowboys pick.
     As for the rest of the slate, we'll post some thoughts, predictions, or facts that have no relevance to actual games. Enjoy.

I'm Glad I'll Be Working During the Falcons-Lions Game Tomorrow Morning
     You know who else is? My wife. Seriously NFL, you've already pissed off enough women this year. Let's try not to make football last for 15 consecutive hours.

What Do You Get With No Steroids in Baseball? The Worst World Series Ever
    The Royals and Giants are dog shit. If either club played the '98 Yankees 10 times, they'd be lucky to win twice.

The Saints Shouldn't Be Favored Against Aaron Rodgers
     Yet incredibly, the line is still SAINTS (-2) as of the time of this writing.

Let's Keep Running DeMarco Murray Into the Ground
     He's a free agent after the year anyway. With as good as the offensive line is, it doesn't matter who is toting the rock for the Cowboys.

Denver Might Be the Only Super Bowl Caliber Team in the League
     Seattle and San Francisco still have time to turn it around (the 49ers will get a lot of dudes back on defense during the second half of the season), but for now it's Denver and then everyone else. Since the advent of the weekly Thursday night game, we haven't seen a better two win in five day stretch like the Broncos just pulled against San Francisco and the Chargers.

We're Happy Bob is Getting Eaten on "The Walking Dead"
     It's not an endorsement of cannibalism, but I really hate Bob, and thought he should've died sometime last season.

Detroit and Cincinnati Are Lurking
     Both clubs are missing elite wide receivers, and should return to previous offensive production upon their return.

Jacksonville is Our Underdog Pick of the Week
     This pick has more to do with how frustrating the Dolphins have been over the last few years than an endorsement of the Jaguars.

     I'd post more, but I have to go to work in six hours. Until next time...

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (10/17-10/19)

10. Carmelo Anthony Claims It’s Unlikely He’ll Win Scoring Title in Triangle Offense

            Apparently, he’s never heard of Michael fucking Jordan.

9. NBA Tests 44 Minute Game During Celtics-Nets Preseason Tilt

            We’re all for things taking less time, so kudos to the most progressive league in American sports for giving this a try.

8. Penguins Right Winger Patric Hornqvist Puts Up 2 Goals, 1 Assist, and 12 Shots Against the Islanders
            Yours truly is very happy to employ Hornqvist on both of his fantasy hockey clubs this season.

7. Detroit Rallies, Defeats New Orleans
            Like the majority of the league, the Lions have been incredibly up and down on a week-to-week basis, but if they continue to tread water while Megatron gets healthy, they’ll be poised for a deep playoff run in the NFC.

6. Star Players Deliver For Dallas

            DeMarco Murray broke Jim Brown’s record for the most consecutive 100-yard rushing games to start a season. Dez Bryant dominated the Giants secondary in the second half. Both of their efforts contributed to another efficient performance by Tony Romo. It would have been easy for the Cowboys to have a let down after their stunning win in Seattle, but kudos to them for taking care of business in an important division game.

           

5. Florida State Wins Thriller Over Notre Dame

            We’re on board with Jameis Winston and the hate-able Florida State Seminoles. As flawed as they may be, they are the best hope at preventing the SEC from winning a national title.

4. Aided By Awful Call, Rams Earn Upset Win Over Seattle

            This game might have been the best representation of how messed up the NFL is this year.

           

3. Jimmie Johnson Will Not Win a Seventh Title This Year

2. Brad Keselowski Delivers

            It’s a close call on which one of these results gave us more joy, but we’ll give a narrow edge to Johnson being eliminated from championship contention.

1. Peyton Manning Sets All-Time Touchdown Pass Mark

            In case you were wondering, Peyton Manning is really good at football. Even more important in relation to the 2014 Denver Broncos, they are clearly the class of the league.

Week 7 NFL Picks

            For a second straight week, we just barely squeaked over .500, which means that we still have to offer up pitiful football picks. We’re already down thanks to the stupid Patriots (can’t cover against Geno Smith guys, really?), so this week should be the swan song. Fortunately for the general public, we’re posting these less than a hour before kickoff to ensure as little damage happens to the gambling community.

Bengals (+3.5) over COLTS 

REDSKINS (-6) over Titans

BEARS (-3.5) over Dolphins

JAGUARS (+6) over Browns

RAMS (+7) over Seahawks

Panthers (+6.5) over PACKERS

RAVENS (-6.5) over Falcons

BILLS (-5.5) over Vikings

LIONS (-2.5) over Saints

CHARGERS (-4) over Chiefs

Giants (-6.5) over COWBOYS

Cardinals (-4) over RAIDERS

49ers (+7) over BRONCOS

STEELERS (-3) over Texans

Week 6 = 8-7

Thursday = 0-1

Season = 44-55

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (10/10-10/13)

10. I Turn 29 Years Old

            I look forward to celebrating my 29^th for the next seventy years.

9. Joe Flacco Chucks Five First Half Touchdowns

            Reportedly, Flacco’s touchdowns still counted for 20 points in standard fantasy football leagues despite the fact he threw them against the hapless Buccaneers.

8. Terminus Already Blew Up
            Kudos to the folks running “The Walking Dead’ for not leaving our heroes captive with a bunch of hipster cannibals.

7. Baylor Outguns TCU
            In a game where the final score was 61-58, I guess TCU shouldn’t of felt too safe with a 24 point lead.

6. NASCAR Fight!

            Keselowski and Kenseth are two of our favorite drivers here in the Muir household, so this fight wasn’t as satisfying for us as the typical NASCAR brawl.

           

5. Mississippi State Defeats Auburn, Claims Top Spot in AP Poll

4. Royals Grab 2-0 Lead Over Baltimore

            Kansas City is halfway to a trip to the World Series, and the state of Mississippi rules college football. We’re buying tons of canned goods and bottled water on our next grocery run.

           

3. Aaron Rodgers Does a Marino Impression, Leads Last Gasp Victory Over Miami

            You can’t fall for the play that your most famous quarterback in franchise history invented. Shame on the Dolphins.         

2. Kolten Wong Smashes Walk Off Dinger, Evens Series With Giants

            It was a nice moment for Mr. Wong, who infamously was picked off to end a World Series game last year against Boston.

1. Dallas Wins at Seattle

            Short of Tony Romo and DeMarco Murray showing up at my front door with a lifetime supply of cash, there’s really nothing else those two dudes could’ve done to make my birthday any better. 

Week 6 NFL Picks

            I was busy working this weekend, so we’re just barely getting these picks up. That’s not a bad thing, as this limits the possibility that anyone on Earth would actually wager actual money on these selections.

Broncos (-9.5) over JETS

BROWNS (-1) over Steelers

Jaguars (+4.5) over TITANS

Packers (-3) over DOLPHINS

Lions (+1.5) over VIKINGS

BENGALS (-6.5) over Panthers

BILLS (+3) over Patriots

Ravens (-3.5) over BUCCANEERS

Chargers (-7.5) over RAIDERS

FALCONS (-3) over Bears

SEAHAWKS (-8.5) over Cowboys

CARDINALS (-3.5) over Redskins

EAGLES (-2.5) over Giants

49ers (-3.5) over RAMS

           

Week 3 = 8-7

Thursday = 1-0

Season = 36-47

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (10/3-10/5)

10. The Patriots Aren’t Dead

            So quit your bitching New England.

9. Arizona State Drops USC With Last Second Hail Mary

            Cue video!

8. Matt Kemp Delivers Game 2 Win for Los Angeles
            After Clayton Kershaw was rocked in Game 1, the Dodgers needed someone to make a play to even the series. Kemp delivered with an eighth inning dinger.

7. Orioles, Royals Punch Tickets to ALCS
            This might be the first playoff series that I will legitimately be rooting for both teams to win.

6. Cowboys Blow a 10-Point Fourth Quarter Lead, Still Win in Overtime

            Rough estimates by our crack research staff say that Dallas has lost in this exact scenario roughly 300 times in the last decade. Funny things are happening Big D.

           

5. Peyton Manning Tosses 500^th Career Touchdown

            Nothing else to do here other than tip your cap and say “Omaha”.

4. Cleveland Browns Successfully Complete Largest Road Comeback in NFL History

            Reportedly, it will still count even though it occurred against the Titans.

           

3. Mississippi State Routs Texas A&M  

2. Ole Miss Shocks Alabama

            Saturday may have been the greatest day in the history of Mississippi.

 1. San Francisco Giants Win Longest Postseason Game Ever

            In a game where there were more innings played (18) than hits (17), No Credentials was desperately hoping a shipment of HGH could be split among both clubhouses. Surprisingly, Washington was able to bounce back from this soul crushing defeat to win Game 3.

Week 5 NFL Picks

            We’re making an announcement…if we don’t finish above .500 this week, we are retiring from NFL picks this season. No Credentials clearly has no firm grasp of what is going to happen in any of these games, so unless there’s a swift turnaround, we don’t see any reason to try to sucker people into thinking we are making quality picks. Sometimes, you have to know when you don’t have it. With that said, we tried really hard this week (which translates to about 5 minutes of deep thought), and with the momentum from the Packers victory Thursday, could be in line for a break through.

Bears (+2) over PANTHERS

            These two teams are the epitome of the “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THE NFL THIS YEAR?” phenomenon. For what it’s worth, the Bears are 2-0 on the road this year.

Browns (+1) over TITANS

            Tennessee should not be favored against anyone in THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. We’re taking Cleveland and the one point out of principle.

EAGLES (-7) over Rams

            Here’s a combination of “Philly is due to pummel someone” and “St. Louis has looked competent for two straight games”.

Falcons (+4.5) over GIANTS

            Folks are overreacting to New York’s two game winning streak. One needs to remember that their wins came against the Texans without Arian Foster and a Washington team whose only claim to fame was destroying Jacksonville. Pump the brakes Giants fans. 

Buccaneers (+10) over SAINTS

            Another principle pick…there’s no way the Saints should be double-digit favorites over anyone. Tampa Bay also has a history of playing the Saints tough, even when New Orleans has been playing well.

Texans (+6.5) over COWBOYS

            We’ve picked against Dallas every week this year, and that’s translated to their first 3-1 start in six years. Since clearly the success of my picks is hopeless, at least we can try to keep the good vibes going with Tony Romo and company.

LIONS (-7) over Bills

            “GOOD GOD, THAT’S KYLE ORTON’S MUSIC!!!”

COLTS (-3.5) over Ravens

            I like Andrew the Giant to drag the Colts over .500 for the first time this year.

Steelers (-6.5) over JAGUARS

            I mean, the Steelers can’t lose to Tampa Bay and Jacksonville back-to-back weeks right?

Cardinals (+8) over BRONCOS

            Our third principle pick…this line is too damn high. One of the fun facts of 2014 is Denver being 0-3 so far against the spread.

49ERS (-5.5) over Chiefs

            I’m sure everyone and their third cousin wants to bang the Chiefs as a road dog after there demolishing of the New England Patriots. We aren’t falling for it.

CHARGERS (-7) over Jets

            Tough spot for Geno and the Jets. This line could be 10 points or higher.

Bengals (-1.5) over PATRIOTS

            The standard thing to do here would be to bet on Tom Brady (as a home dog!) in primetime to bounce back, but logic dictates that New England’s mediocre offense will have a really hard time against a well-rested Bengals squad.

Seahawks (-7.5) over REDSKINS

            Kirk Cousins turned into a pumpkin during the third quarter against the Giants in Week 4.

           

Week 3 = 5-11

Thursday = 1-0

Season = 27-40