2014 Stanley Cup Playoff First Round Picks

     For the rare breed that enjoys both basketball and hockey (I'm proudly in this group. No need to hate one or the other in my book), the first half of the best stretch of the sports year begins tomorrow night. We haven't followed hockey as closely since the end of the Olympics, so even more than usual, take these picks with a grain of salt.

Western Conference

#4 San Jose Sharks vs. #5 Los Angeles Kings

            You don’t bet on Sharks in April, unless they are deep in the Pacific Ocean matched up against a manatee. Kings in 6

#3 St. Louis Blues vs. #5 Chicago Black Hawks

            Interesting match-up here, as you have the two top teams from the first two thirds of the season facing off in an unlikely first round match-up. Chicago was ravaged by injuries, but should be back to full strength with Patrick Kane returning to the lineup. How soon he shakes the rust off will determine Chicago’s chance of moving on. St. Louis choked away the Central Division with six straight losses, but teams have sputtered into the postseason before and then turned it on for a deep playoff run. This will be the best series in the West, and we see it going the full seven. Advantage to the team not needing a bunch of injured dudes to return at 100%. Blues in 7

#2 Colorado Avalanche vs. #7 Minnesota Wild

            It’s cool to have Colorado back as a competitive team. Apparently all it took was putting their best players from their hey-day in the late-90s in management gigs (we love Joe Sakic and Patrick Roy, anyway we can get Forsberg involved?) to return the team to relevance. Only Los Angeles scored fewer goals among the remaining playoff teams during the regular season than the Wild, and unfortunately Minnesota doesn’t trot out Johnathan Quick in goal. We think the next generation of Aves take care of business in round 1. Avalanche in 4

#1 Anaheim Ducks vs. #8 Dallas Stars

            The Ducks are solid, and Dallas doesn’t possess the necessary depth on the blue-line to contain them. Tyler Seguin (remember him Bruins fans? He only had a career year this season) is talented enough to steal a game, but Dallas will be lucky to push this to 6. Ducks in 5

Eastern Conference

#5 New York Rangers vs. #6 Philadelphia Flyers

            This shit is going seven games, and New York employing Henrik Lundqvist was the tiebreaker for me. Rangers in 7

#3 Tampa Bay Lightning vs. #4 Montreal Canadiens

            Here’s your best goalie match-up of the first round, with Vezina Trophy candidates Carey Price and Ben Bishop facing off. Tampa Bay’s 2013-14 campaign is criminally underrated, as they were able to hold the fort down even after shipping a disgruntled Martin St. Louis to New York. However, we expect Gold Medal winning goalie Price to stand on his head and steal a Game 7 on the road. Canadiens in 7

#2 Pittsburgh Penguins vs. #7 Columbus Blue Jackets

            Pittsburgh wobbled into the postseason, and Columbus is better than you think after posting the fifth best goal differential in the Eastern Conference. Here’s our upset special. Blue Jackets in 6

#1 Boston Bruins vs. #8 Detroit Red Wings

            At first glance, it looks like a bad draw to end up with the Red Wings in Round 1, but Nicklas Lidstrom isn’t walking through that door. Steve Yzerman isn’t walking through that door. Boston will roll. Bruins in 4

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (2/18-2/20)

10. Justin Bieber Voted MVP of All-Star Celebrity Game

            I caught a few minutes of this game Friday night. At one point, Scottie Pippen blocked a Bieber jump shot without even leaving his feet. Beliebers must have missed that play (the MVP of this game was determined by fan vote. Who knew 13-year-old girls liked celebrity basketball games). 

            To see the epic rejection, click here.

9. Ottawa Senators and Colorado Avalanche Swap Starting Goalies

            I love trades where teams swap mediocre players that play the same position. Colorado shipped Craig Anderson and his 3.28 GAA to Ottawa for Brian Elliott and his 3.19 GAA. Essentially, both teams were so sick of their goalies that they were willing to bring in another crappy goalie to replace them. Anderson did pitch a 47-save shutout in his first game for Ottawa, so perhaps a change of scenery will be good for both of these guys.

8. Tony Stewart Edges Out Clint Bowyer to Win Nationwide Race

            More notable than Stewart edging Bowyer by a bumper was Danica Patrick running up front before eventually finishing 14^th. NASCAR would love nothing more than to see Patrick run well in her 12 Nationwide Series races this season. Good finishes would go a long in way in convincing Patrick to make the jump to NASCAR full-time in 2012.

If you missed the finish, click here.

7. Calgary Flames Destroy Canadians in Heritage Classic

            If an outdoor hockey game happens in Canada, but no one in America knows about it because of the NBA All-Star Game and the Daytona 500, did it really happen? In this case, it did.

            I only caught part of this game on accident while flipping through channels before the NBA All-Star Game. I understand that this event was geared towards Canada (the Canadian teams have been pissy about not being included in the New Year’s Day Winter Classic), but wouldn’t it make a little sense to stage the event on a quieter sports weekend? This morning on ESPN.com, the Heritage Classic was the ninth story listed on their homepage. It would make a ton of sense for the NHL to schedule this sort of event on a weekend with less competition.  

6. Rookies Beat Sophomores Thanks to John Wall

            None of Wall’s record 24 assists were as impressive as this bounce pass to Blake Griffin. Griffin should’ve borrowed Wall to help him out with the dunk contest.

5. New York Knicks Get Desperate in Pursuit for Carmelo Anthony

            New York is reportedly willing to send Danilo Gallinari, Raymond Felton, and Wilson Chandler to Denver in exchange for Carmelo Anthony. In other words, they are willing to part with their second, third, and fourth best players. That’s an awful lot to give up for a guy who scores a ton, but no much else.

4. St. Johns Beats #4 Pittsburgh With Last Second Lay-up

            St. Johns is somehow only 17-9, but it seems like every week they are pulling off a mammoth upset. They already smoked Duke, and this past weekend it was #4 Pittsburgh. I’m pulling for St. Johns to end up as an #8 or #9 seed in the NCAA Tournament so they can pull off a win over a #1 seed in round 2.

3. Blake Griffin Jumps Over a Car, Wins Slam Dunk Contest

            I don’t want to spend too much time ranting about the Dunk Contest, but I need to write a couple of sentences about Serge Ibaka. His first dunk (where video evidence clearly shows he took off a couple of inches behind the foul line) should’ve been scored a 65 out of 50. For him to be given a 45 was ridiculous. Julius Erving (who is credited with being the first man to successfully make a foul-line dunk, but actually took off while his foot was halfway over the line) should’ve walked out on to the court and kissed Ibaka’s shoes.

            Moving on from a stupid rant about a forgotten dunk (if you ever see me at the grocery store, don’t bring it up. It’s still a sore subject), I’ll simply post links to the epic dunks of the night.

           

Serge Ibaka Foul Line Dunk – This video is extra fun because Charles Barkley says “that kid has a great body” about Ibaka like he was talking about Brooklyn Decker.

Demar Derozan Makes "The Showstopper"– This video is creepy because who ever edited it decided to add somber music and play the clip in slow motion. Kind of weird, but strangely rewatchable.

Javale McGee Double-Dunk – For my money, the best dunk of the night. The degree of difficulty to pull that dunk (or two dunks I guess) was off the charts.

Blake Griffin's Reverse 360 Slam – Griffin smacked himself in the face with the ball after this slam.

Griffin Jumps Over a Car– The actual dunk itself wasn’t all that impressive, but the production value was unintentionally comical.

2. Kobe Bryant Goes Bonkers, Leads West Over the East

            Kobe’s 37 points trumped Lebron James’ triple-double. Speaking of Lebron…I didn’t think he could’ve done anything to make Cavalier’s fans hate him even more, but his impassioned speech to fire up his teammates might’ve done it (I tried to find a leak to this, but unfortunately couldn’t locate one at this time). All of a sudden a guy who mailed it in during the last three games of the playoff series against Boston gives a crap about an exhibition game?

1. 20-Year Old Trevor Bayne Wins Daytona 500

            I’m not sure what you were doing when you were twenty years old, but most of my time was spent playing video games and searching for a place to party (I write searching for a party because more often than not I was either unable to locate a party, or my buddy and I were to lazy to go to a party and played Madden instead). What was Trevor Bayne doing the day after he turned 20 years old? You know, just winning the biggest auto race in the United States.

            If you missed the last two laps, check it out here.