NHL Mid-Season Rankings

            Here’s a list that basically ranks which team is most likely to win the Stanley Cup as of this very moment (11:30pm Sunday night to be exact). It’s not necessarily indicative of where a team’s rank is based on points. Feel free to agree or disagree in the comments section below this list.

30. Columbus Blue Jackets

            I’m not sure how a team was able to put together a roster that had literally one trade-able asset (LW/RW Rick Nash), but Columbus has done it. The only thing that could save this sorry franchise is contraction.

29. Anaheim Ducks

            There are college teams with better defensemen than what Anaheim is trotting out onto the ice every night. I have goalie Jonas Hiller on one of my fantasy teams, and it’s a minor miracle if he faces less than 30 shots in a given night.  

28. Carolina Hurricanes

            Carolina is the Eastern Conference version of the Ducks. I have Cam Ward on the same team as Hiller, so I typed that previous sentence with confidence.

27. New York Islanders

            I was going to make a bunch of jokes about Rick DiPietro and how he’s on year eight of his thirty-four year contract, but then I remembered that he was from Maine. 

26. Calgary Flames

            Jarome Iginla has only one year left on his contract after this season. Someone needs to man up and set Iggy up with a Ray Bourque type opportunity to win a Stanley Cup.

(EDITORS NOTE: I think I’ve drafted Iginla onto a fantasy hockey team four of the last five years or something. I love the guy. He was co-captain of my 2007-08 championship winning team, and I’ve had a soft spot for him ever sense. Has he lost a step? Sure, but if you paired him with a top-flight center, Iginla still has the ability to dominate a game. It doesn’t make sense for the Bruins to make a run at him, but maybe a dark horse team like Florida or Los Angeles can pull the trigger on a deal)

25. Tampa Bay Lightning

            The Golden State Warriors of the NHL. Steven Stamkos and company can light the lamp, but it’s hard to win when you score five goals if your goalies give up six.

24. Montreal Canadiens

            Poor Carey Price can’t buy a break. When the team was good, Price was a liability. Now that he’s matured into a legitimate top-flight goaltender, his team sucks.

23. Edmonton Oilers

            Do you realize that Ryan Nugent-Hopkins was born in 1993? I remember shit that happened in 1993. I’m getting old.

22. Phoenix Coyotes

            Somehow Team Bankruptcy has remained sort of relevant even after trading Ilya Bryzgalov away. I hope someday we move this team to a place (Quebec or Hartford?) where fans will actually give a crap about it. The players on this team have given it all for three years running now, and deserve better fan support.

21. Colorado Avalanche

            Colorado needs to get goalie Semyon Varlamov going. They surrendered a first round pick to Washington for him (a pick which has a good chance of being in the top-10), and if they don’t establish Varlamov as their franchise net minder, they will have set the franchise back at least two years.

20. Winnipeg Jets

            I don’t think Winnipeg will sneak into the playoffs (they are too poor on the road), but there’s a few things to be excited about. I’ll list them because I enjoy lists immensely.

1. Ondrej Pavelec isn’t the most consistent goalie, but when he’s on, good luck getting a puck past him. If Winnipeg can improve their roster over the next three years, expect Pavelec’s development to mirror the Jets’ improvements.
2. Evander Kane has arrived. He’s on pace for close to 40 goals, looks all the world like the second coming of Jarome Iginla, and he’s not even legally allowed to drink alcohol in the United States.
3. This team is finally playing in front of an enthusiastic home crowd. Winnipeg would probably be as bad as Anaheim or Carolina if it weren’t for their awesome home-ice advantage. Kudos to the fans for coming out to support this very young team.

19. Buffalo Sabres

            Buffalo is kind of like the fat-free version of the Boston Bruins, which is a problem when you are in the same division as the Bruins and you get your ass kicked by them on a semi-regular basis. The Sabres could desperately use a goal scorer to help Thomas Vanek. It’s a shame they couldn’t extract the “NHLPA ’93” version of Alexander Mogilny and put him on the ice.

(RANT ALERT: Jeremy Roenick rightfully gets most of the love in regards to best video game hockey player of all time, but one can’t forget the exploits of Mogilny on those Sabres teams. Mogilny couldn’t play a lick of defense, but could skate from one end of the ice to the other in approximately 1.6 seconds. He was even more devastating on the offensive end than players like Jaromir Jagr or Wayne Gretzky)

18. Ottawa Senators

            Ottawa is currently inside the top 8 in the East, but expect shoddy goaltending to eventually catch up with them. Senators’ fans have to be pumped about the development of defenseman Erik Karlsson. He’s on pace to post 74 points from the blue-line at the age of 21.

17. Dallas Stars

            Here’s another team that played way over it’s head in the first half of the season, and is now slowly slipping out of playoff contention. Improving the team across the board up the middle of the ice (center, defense, and goalie) is imperative for the Stars to return to glory.

16. New Jersey Devils

            Die-hard Devils fans (like Elaine’s on-again off-again boyfriend Puddy) would be quick to point out that New Jersey is fifth in the Eastern Conference (as of Sunday), and should be much higher on this list. However, New Jersey has been bailed out this season by the shootout. The Devils have eight shootout wins, which is four more than any team in the Eastern Conference. That translates to eight extra points (you earn one point for an overtime loss, two for a shoot-out win). New Jersey has only won 15 games in regulation or regular overtime, which is one more than the pathetic Hurricanes. New Jersey might sneak into the playoffs, but look for them to get their doors blown off by whoever they are playing.

15. Los Angeles Kings

            Los Angeles has given up the sixth fewest goals in the NHL, but unfortunately has the least amount of goals scored of any team in the league. The Kings have arguably one of the most valuable trade chips in the league (back-up goalie Jonathan Bernier, who is blocked from a full-time gig by Jonathan Quick), so perhaps L.A. will pull the trigger and add a top-flight winger to pair with Anze Kopitar.

14. Minnesota Wild

            A 1-7-2 run the last 10 games has dropped Minnesota from first to seventh in the western conference. The Wild are another team that could use some more firepower, but would be wise not to part with valuable young assets in a foolish attempt to win a Stanley Cup.

13. Nashville Predators

            Minus the part about the 1-7-2 record, you could repeat the same paragraph I wrote for the Wild in regards to Nashville. Nashville does have tremendous depth on defense (in both the NHL and their minor league club), so it would be more reasonable for them to make a move to acquire more scoring.

12. Florida Panthers

            Florida’s emergence this season has been the most shocking so far of any team in the Eastern Conference. Before getting injured, Jose Theodore was a stabilizing presence in net, while free agent acquisition Kris Versteeg has helped give the Panthers a dynamite first line. The Panthers have tons of young assets both in the AHL and at the junior levels, so the future will only get brighter for Florida.

11. Toronto Maple Leafs

            Toronto can both score a bunch, and get scored on a bunch. Better goaltending is the only difference between them and a team like Tampa Bay. GM Brian Burke is never afraid to make a deal, so don’t be shocked if the Maple Leafs make a huge splash before the trade deadline.

10. Washington Capitals

            Washington is tenth in the East right now, so ranking them tenth in these power rankings is pretty aggressive. However, they are only four points out of first in their own division, and seem to be slowly righting the ship under new coach Dale Hunter. Don’t be shocked if the team ships disgruntled winger Alexander Semin out of town.

9. St. Louis Blues

            The best dark horse candidate to win the Stanley Cup this year. St. Louis is second in the Western Conference right now despite having a 0-5 record in shoot-outs. Brian Elliott has been playing out of his mind since the start of the season, and if he sputters, former Canadiens playoff hero Jaroslav Halak is there to step in. St. Louis doesn’t have any top-flight scorers, but has enough offensive depth to consistently put pressure on the opposing goalies. It’s fair to say that the Blues are a homeless man’s version of the Boston Bruins. If David Perron gives St. Louis a big second half, he could have a Tyler Seguin-like impact the rest of the way.

8. Pittsburgh Penguins

            Sure they’ve lost four straight. They are again without Sidney Crosby, who’s been dealing with the longest headache in NHL history. Pittsburgh will right the ship behind Evgeni Malkin in time for the playoffs. They’ll probably finish anywhere between fourth and eighth in the East, but they will not be a fun first-round opponent for anyone.

7. Philadelphia Flyers

            Philly has quietly dealt with a ton of adversity this season, but has finally found a groove since losing Chris Pronger for the season. Ilya Bryzgalov is the first stud goalie this team has had since the days of Ron Hextall. If their offense is intact going into the playoffs, Philadelphia could pose the greatest threat to the Boston Bruins in the East.

6. Chicago Blackhawks

            Chicago is the highest-ranking club on the list that doesn’t have a top-flight goalie. It looks like the Blackhawks are willing to let Corey Crawford try to regain his form of a year ago, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they make a play for Evgeni Nabokov.

5. San Jose Sharks

            It’s easy to forget about the Sharks (mostly because they usually fold like a tent in the playoffs), but this edition of the Sharks is much more dedicated on the defensive end. That’s normally a good formula to follow come April and May.

4. New York Rangers

            Brad Richards may not be having the best statistical season of any free agent signing from last summer, but he has delivered the goods for the Rangers. His presence has allowed the Rangers to throw two potent lines out on the ice (Richards and Marion Gaborik don’t play together unless the Rangers have a power play). Goalie Henrik Lundqvist has done a masterful job of holding the fort while New York awaits the return of defenseman Mark Staal.

3. Detroit Red Wings

            The Red Wings have been uncharacteristically bad on the road this season, but still possess as much offensive depth as any team in the western conference. Jimmy Howard has taken two steps forward after a down year last season, and Nicklas Lidstrom has managed to squeeze out one more quality season.   

2. Boston Bruins

            Before I get flooded with hateful messages, I’ll let my readers know that Boston was penciled in to the number one spot on this list before they lost to the Canucks yesterday. I fully expected the Bruins to regress this season, and be lucky to have a seed better than sixth in the East. However, they have fully overcome the Stanley Cup hangover and have been clobbering teams left and right. The emergence of Tyler Seguin gives Boston an A-quality player that looks to be the face of the franchise for years to come. Even more importantly, Boston has the best back-up goalie in the NHL. Tuukka Rask could probably start on a regular basis for more than half the league. It will be fun seeing a team try to knock the Bruins off in a seven-game series. Boston is so deep offensively, with three lines that can score consistently, and defensively, that it will be hard for a team not to wear down against them. Unless they run into a hot goalie, it will be hard for the Bruins not to make it to the Stanley Cup Finals again.

1. Vancouver Canucks

            After a rocky start, the Canucks are firing on all cylinders. Roberto Luongo is showing no signs of the funk that led to him riding the pine for a stretch during the first month of the season. Ryan Kesler shook the rust off after off-season surgery, and as always, the Sedin twins are laying claim to the title of best pair of athletic twins in sports history. Much like Boston, Vancouver also has enough faith in backup goalie Cory Schneider that they can feel comfortable if Luongo were to suffer an injury. It’s boring to pick last years Stanley Cup Finals participants as the top two teams right now, but that’s where things look like they are going this season.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (5/20-5/22)

10. The World Didn’t End

            As most of you should know by now, we are still here. Whatever you do, don’t trust an 89-year-old man named Harold.

9. Carl Edwards Wins Sprint Cup All-Star Race

            Edwards was easily the class of the field, which made this year’s All-Star Race less exciting than usual. Nevertheless, let me make for why the NASCAR All-Star Race is the best all-star event in sports.

            It’s pretty simple really…the winner gets $1 million. NASCAR doesn’t play around with the whole “celebration of the sport” gimmick. It’s all about the cash. Would you like to see an NBA All-Star Game where players actually play a little defense? Throw up a $1 million reward to be divided up among the winning team, and you would have yourself the most hotly contested basketball game in the history of man. Baseball should take a page out of the NASCAR book too. You will never convince me that an outfielder from the Pirates would give a crap whether or not the National League is going to win home-field advantage or not.

            Let’s watch a couple of videos for comparison’s sake. Here is the final play of the 2011 Pro Bowl.

            Now watch the final lap of the 1992 Winston as Dale Earnhardt, Kyle Petty, and Davey Allison duel for the win.

            Allison was knocked unconscious in this crash and ended up getting hauled off to the hospital. The car was hauled to victory lane on a flatbed. I rest my case.

8. Former Teammates Roll Lance Armstrong Under the Bus

            I’m not sure what Lance did to piss people off, but he’s getting attacked from all sides. My question for you is, does it matter if he took steroids or not?

            Regardless of whether or not Armstrong was doping, he still managed to win seven straight Tour De France races after almost dying from cancer. More important to me, the majority of cyclists in the field were also doping. Ultimately, cycling has been proven to be a dirty sport in general. That doesn’t make Lance Armstrong any worse than anyone else.

7. Jose Bautista Hits Two More Homers Saturday

            Amazingly, in the post-steroids era, Jose Bautista finds himself on a 72 homer pace through 40 games. After the #8 item on this list, is it wrong for me to suggest that we ask Bautista to pee in a cup everyday for the rest of the year?

6. Canucks Take 3-1 Lead Over San Jose

            After a spirited effort in Game 3, the Canucks blew San Jose out of the water after three straight power play goals in the 2^nd period of Game 4. Giving the Sedin twins a man-advantage is not a recipe for success.

5. Animal Kingdom Fails to Win 2^nd Leg of Triple Crown

            And by doing so, he guarantees that No Credentials will not mention horse racing until April of 2012.

4. Chicago Cubs Play at Fenway Park For First Time Since 1918

            Now that the Cubs have played at Fenway, I vote for killing inter-league baseball for good. Until both league’s adopt the same stance on whether to have a DH or not, it makes no sense for a meeting between the AL and NL before the World Series.

3. Down 3-0, Lightning Storm Back Against Bruins to Even Series

            Boston needs to show some serious mental fortitude after getting a little too content and blowing Game 4. Tampa Bay has too much firepower to step off the accelerator.

2. Mavericks Take Game 3 in Oklahoma City

            For a while last night I thought was watching Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals. After two offensive showcases, defense finally showed up. The Thunder did a great job on Dirk Nowitzki until the 4^th quarter. Oklahoma City needs to bring the same defensive intensity for the rest of the series. They won’t shoot 1 for 17 from three-point range again. I like the Thunder to win Game 4.

1. Heat Defend Home Court, Take 2-1 Series Lead Over Chicago

            Chris Bosh showed up in a big way with 34 points in this game. Chicago needs to reestablish their dominance in the paint to get back into the series.

Quick NBA Western Conference Finals Pick, Plus Belated NHL Western Conference Finals Pick

Oklahoma City is the more talented team. I fully expect them to be in NBA Finals sometime between 2012 and 2015. However, this year, the Mavericks have the tiger blood. Expect Dirk to be the best player on the floor as Dallas beats the Thunder in 6.

I completly forgot about posting my NHL Western Conference Finals pick. I'll sign off on San Jose winning in 7, even despite their 3-2 loss in Game 1. As much trouble as both Vancouver and San Jose have had in the playoffs in the past, there's no way this series will be shorter than seven games.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (4/29-5/1)

10. NFL Lockout Reinstated

            Hopefully players were able to make some use out of the team facilities while they were able to use them for about 40 minutes. At this point, it’s almost like the NFL is trying to intentionally antagonize their fans. Think of it like a rock band that put out an album that was universally praised by the masses (something along the lines of “Nevermind” by Nirvana), but then made their follow-up album less accessible to the general public. One would think that as long as games are not delayed or lost in the fall, people will watch, but the decline in TV ratings for the NFL Draft (down 20% on the first night from last year’s coverage) would indicate that sports fans are a little tired of football and it’s labor issues.

9. Derek Lowe Apologizes For DUI

            Of all professional athletes, Derek Lowe would’ve ranked relatively low on the list of players I would expect to get arrested for racing their Porsche while drunk.

8. New England Patriots Draft QB Ryan Mallet in 3^rd Round

            Before idiot Patriots fans get more overly excited than they already are about drafting Tom Brady’s “future replacement”, let me quickly explain to you why this pick was made.

            It was one day this past March, and Bill Belichick was in his office coming up with new zone blitz packages. He had ESPN on the television. He wasn’t paying much attention to it until he heard Tom Brady’s name. Then all of a sudden, he sees this. He’s got a f***ing ponytail, the Hoodie thinks to himself. Wait is he dancing…there’s no way he’s dancing…holy s*** he’s f***ing dancing.

            It is at that moment that Belichick realized that he needed to rattle Brady’s cage, hence the reason he tabs a quarterback who he knows the media will anoint as the heir to the starting QB gig in New England. Knowing how competitive Brady is (he still gets emotional talking about having to wait until the 6^th round to get drafted), Belichick now knows he will have a fully invested Brady going into 2011. The icing on the cake will be when the Patriots rope some desperate franchise into trading a first and third round pick in the 2013 draft for Mallet.  

7. Indians Sweep Tigers

            Before the season, I predicted that Cleveland would finish 4^th in the AL Central with a record of 63-99. Amazingly, on May 1^st, this team has already won 19 of its first 27 games and is showing no signs of stopping. Eventually the pitching should come back to Earth a little bit (hopefully not Justin Masterson. For a guy I figured would be off my fantasy team within a month, he’s been pretty solid), but their offense looks much stronger than originally thought.

6. Sharks Take First Two Games Over Red Wings

            A year ago, Antti Niemi was the goaltender for a Blackhawks team that swept San Jose in the Western Conference Finals. After receiving little interest from other NHL teams as a free agent last off-season, Niemi signed a 1-year, $2.5 million deal with San Jose. By the time the playoffs rolled around this year, he had secured the starting goalie spot in San Jose, and so far in the series against Detroit, he has been their best player. What a difference a year makes.  

5. Predators Win Game 2 in Vancouver in Double Overtime

            Nashville, behind elite goaltending from Pekka Rinne, managed to steal a game from top seeded Vancouver. This looks like it will be a series full of 1-0, 2-1 type games.

4. Heat Control Game 1 Against Boston

            As a Celtic’s homer, it’s easy to blame their long layoff after sweeping the Knicks as the reason for Boston being so rusty. However, Miami only had to play one extra game that was two days later. Perhaps Paul Pierce’s ejection will get the Celtics fired up for Game 2.

3. Bruins Pummel Flyers in Game 1

            I predicted that Boston would have an easier time scoring goals against Philadelphia than they did against Montreal, but certainly didn’t expect them to score seven in one game. The Bruins blew a 3-0 series lead (and 3-0 lead in Game 7) against Philadelphia last year, so don’t expect them to step off the accelerator. 

2. Lightning Take 2 in Washington

            Tampa Bay’s second win was particularly impressive, because they rallied to win after Alexander Ovechkin tied the game with just over a minute left in regulation. The Capitals out shot Tampa 37-23 in Game 2, but 79-year-old goalie Dwayne Roloson has morphed into a brick wall. A hot goalie can lead even a mediocre team all the way to the Stanley Cup. If you were to pick the two hottest goalies in the league right now, it would be Roloson and Antti Niemi.

1. Grizzlies Eliminate Spurs, Then Blast Thunder in Game 1

            Before one can truly analyze how amazing the Grizzlies accomplishments are this season, one needs to first look at the events of the past three years that have shaped the make-up of the team.

February 1^st, 2008 – Memphis trades franchise C-PF Pau Gasol to Los Angeles for at the time was considered the basketball equivalent of a poop sandwich. Little did we know at the time that his younger brother Marc (who was sent from LA to Memphis) would turn into a solid NBA center.

June 25^th, 2009 – The Grizzlies draft Hasheem Thabeet out of the University of Connecticut with the 2^nd overall pick in the draft. Thabeet will go down as one of the biggest top-5 busts in NBA Draft history. He spent a great deal of time playing in the D-League, and eventually, Memphis traded Thabeet (along with a future first round draft pick) to Houston for Shane Battier. To rephrase, Memphis gave away a future first round pick so they could get rid of a player they had just picked a year and a half earlier with the 2^nd overall pick in the draft, and somehow benefited from the trade.

July 17^th, 2009 – Memphis trades for Zach Randolph, who at one point was one of the poster boys for the Jail-Blazers. After wearing out his welcome with Portland, New York, and the LA Clippers, Randolph blossoms into an All-Star caliber power forward.

February 2011 – Star small forward Rudy Gay, who was in the midst of a career year, tears his rotator cuff and is lost for the season while Memphis is still fighting for a spot in the playoffs. While this would have devastated most teams, playing time is opened up for both Shane Battier and O.J. Mayo, who have since thrived defensively.

            To sum up these four listed events, Memphis somehow benefited from poor trades, a risky free agent signing, an injury to a key player, and a horrendous draft pick. Memphis is like a guy that crashed his car, peed his pants, punched an old lady in the face, and yet somehow ended up with an attractive girl. I’m hoping we see seven games between them and the Thunder.

BONUS ITEM – While putting the finishing touches on this blog, I heard the news of Osama Bin Laden being struck down by U.S. forces. I’m not sure what this means in for the fight against terrorism going forward, but nevertheless this is a landmark moment.

Overconfident Stanley Cup Conference Semi-Finals Picks

            After watching the exciting end to the Bruins-Canadiens series, I’m ready to prepare my Stanley Cup Playoffs 2^nd Round picks. I’m feeling pretty good about myself (at least when it comes to picking NHL playoff series) after correctly choosing six of the eight winners. Furthermore, I nailed the correct distance for three of the Eastern Conference series. The only one I was way off on was the Red Wings-Coyotes series, but you can chalk that up to deep-seeded disdain for Detroit (planted by their vicious playoff battles with the Colorado Avalanche in the mid-90s. I was a front-runner as a child, so I attached myself to the Roy-Sakic-Forsberg group), and Jimmy Howard screwing my fantasy team’s save percentage this past season. Without further ado…

EASTERN CONFERENCE

#1 Washington Capitals vs. #5 Tampa Bay Lightning

            I’d love to pick Tampa Bay in this series. Goalie Dwayne Roloson is roughly 67 years old, but somehow still finds a way to stop the puck. He stoned the Penguins during the final minutes of Game 7. Lastly, take a look at the dude’s picture. If you look up the word goalie in the dictionary, there should be Dwayne Roloson’s face right next to it. However, my love for Roloson does not change the fact that Washington is a superior team that has also had the luxury of extra days off. I’m predicting the Capitals to easily advance to the conference finals.

            PREDICTION = Capitals in 5

#2 Philadelphia Flyers vs. #3 Boston Bruins

            Last year, Boston had a 3-0 series lead over Philly in the conference semi-finals before pulling off an epic choke job. It’s fitting that they get a chance to exercise those demons. Boston should have an easier time scoring going up against whomever Philadelphia throws in net as opposed to Carey Price.

            PREDICTION = Bruins in 6

WESTERN CONFERENCE

#1 Vancouver Canucks vs. #5 Nashville Predators

            Vancouver was supposed to be the favorite going into the playoffs this season, and looked the part after winning the first three games against Chicago. Following three straight losses, a narrow overtime escape in Game 7, and a goalie controversy, and now we are looking at a very shaky club. Throw in an underrated Predators team, and this has all the makings for an upset. Just ask the Anaheim Ducks how hard it is going up against a goalie named Pekka.

            PREDICTION = Predators in 7

#2 San Jose Sharks vs. #3 Detroit Red Wings

            For my money, this is the best of the four conference semi-final series. All the reasons I picked against Detroit during the first round still apply here. Throw in a strong Sharks club that has the look of a team finally ready to succeed in the playoffs, and I’ll sign off on San Jose taking the series (that means all of you should go bet money on Detroit. Right now. They’re a guaranteed winner).

            PREDICTION = Sharks in 7