Scoring System for Fantasy Basketball During NBA Lockout

            I’ve been running a fantasy basketball league for four seasons now, but sadly year five appears to be in jeopardy. Our draft is scheduled to happen in 10 days, but unfortunately we might be without NBA games for a year. In light of the league being unable to be decided by statistics, I’ve come up with a fairly simple scoring system to use during the lockout for my fantasy league, and I’m kind enough to share it with the world.

20 points for participating in a playground league game.

10 points for being on the cover of a grocery store magazine (bump Kris Humphries, aka “Mr. Kardashian”, up a few rounds).

40 points for making Sportcenter’s top 10 plays with a dunk over some poor European dude.

30 points for using a trending “#” on Twitter.

 -100 points for comparing NBA owners to “slave drivers”.

50 points for earning an invite to a fellow player’s all-star game, 100 points for hosting an all-star game.

75 points for legally changing a name (example: Meta World Peace).

15 points for getting arrested.

0.25 points for every day worked at a retail store (had to make Delonte West valuable somehow).

1 point for every anti-owners tweet.

30 points for recording a song.

25 points for creating a fetus (if we applied these rules back in fantasy basketball during the 1998-99 lockout, Shawn Kemp would’ve been a fantasy legend).

60 points for appearing in a movie.

-50 points for showing up at the first game post-lockout 30 pounds overweight (I’m looking at you Michael Beasley. Baron Davis is out of the running because he put on 40 pounds after getting traded to Cleveland).

10 points for airing a new commercial.

-20 points for saying that “we care about the fans”.

15 points for a player tweeting that they are hitting the gym (Russell Westbrook looks like the clubhouse leader in this category so far).

5 points for showing up at a NFL, MLB, NHL, or NASCAR event.

40 points for being involved in a nightclub altercation.

250 points for appearing in a porn movie (makes Greg Oden worth a late-round flyer).

Status of the Celtics

            Unlike the Lakers, the Celtics fans shouldn’t be completely demoralized. You could argue that if not for Rondo’s elbow injury, they would’ve won both of the final two games of the series (it’s much better to lose when you have a viable excuse, at least in my opinion. If you’re a Lakers fan, you have none because your team just got annihilated). Not to mention that Lebron James credits Boston’s Big Three as the reason he, Wade, and Bosh decided to team up (oh wait, that should make a Celtics fan feel worse. Nevermind). However, with its aging core Boston’s future going forward is very murky. Only Rondo, Paul Pierce, and Avery Bradley are signed on for contracts that are past the 2012 season. Just like I did with Los Angeles a couple of days ago, here is a look at all of the components of the Celtics organization.

Carlos Arroyo, Troy Murphy, Sasha Pavlovic, Von Wafer = I hope none if you invested in one of these players jerseys, because there is a 0% chance they are on the team next year.

Avery Bradley, PG-SG = Bradley didn’t see a second of playing time during the postseason, but he does have some potential. Just two years ago he was the top ranked high school senior in the nation. Expect the Celtics to give him some run as the back-up point guard in the event that Delonte West is not resigned at the beginning of 2011-12.

 

Nenad Krstic, C = Krstic is an unrestricted free agent, but I’m not sure I would let him walk if I was the Celtics. He’s a bit soft, but maybe a full season in KG boot camp could toughen him up.

 

Jermaine O’Neal, C-PF = Jermaine is under contract through the end of next season. The only thing of value he provides to Boston is a just under $6 million expiring contract that could be shipped to another team seeking cap relief (unless Boston hangs on to him so he comes off their books at the end of the season). 

Shaquille O’Neal, C = Shaq has a player option that he would be a fool not to exercise. If he does, he’ll get just under $2 million to miss 65 games with an injury.

Glen Davis, PF = Big Baby’s issues the past couple of months have not been talked about enough. He went from a guy who was a serviceable 6^th man and fill-in at center to a basket case that only averaged 4 points a game in the series against Miami. I’m willing to bet that some team will throw him a four-year, $24 million deal. Baby’s days in Boston are over.

Delonte West, PG-SG = Delonte is an interesting dude. On one hand, he is rumored to have had sexual relations with Lebron’s mom. On the other, he played solid minutes for the Celtics this year when he was healthy. On the other hand, he was once arrested with a guitar case full of guns. I’m hoping that his past episodes allow Boston to be able to resign him at a discounted rate.  

Jeff Green, SF = It was fitting that the backbreaking play of the 2010-11 Celtics season was Jeff Green fumbling the ball out of bounds when Boston was down 90-87. I’m not sure if he’ll ever be a viable option in Boston as long as people are still upset about acquiring him for Kendrick Perkins. Green is a restricted free agent this year, which gives the Celtics the right to match any offer another club makes to him.

Rajon Rondo, PG = Rondo will be in a Celtics uniform for the next four seasons. In order to join the elite group of point guards, Rondo needs to work on mid-range jumper. If he added a steady 18-footer that he was willing to take when he had an open look. Throw that in with improved free throw shooting, and Boston would no longer have to worry about playing 4 on 5 on offense at the end of games. Rondo needs to take his game to the next level for Boston to have any chance to win a championship in the next five years (barring a miracle acquisition of Dwight Howard).

Ray Allen, SG = Just like Shaq, Ray also has an opt out clause that would allow him to be a free agent this summer. Unlike Shaq, it wouldn’t be a terrible idea for him to explore his options. If Allen were smart, he would bolt for Chicago. The Bulls have a glaring hole at shooting guard. Ray Allen would be the perfect compliment to Derrick Rose at shooting guard. Even if his skills degrade, he could drain wide-open 3s for the next five years. If he’s interested in winning more titles, going to the Bulls makes the most sense. However, Allen stated after Game 5 that he would remain with the Celtics.

Paul Pierce, SF = Pierce is under contract for the next three seasons, which could be his last three years in the NBA. His improved efficiency (he almost made half of his field goals during the regular season, and shot a career high 86% from the line) have made him a much more effective player as he has gotten older. Barring injury, he should be able to give the Celtics solid production for the remainder of his contract.

Kevin Garnett, PF = Garnett is under contract through the end of next season. With KG already hinting at retirement during this past year, don’t be surprised if 2012 is the final team we see Garnett on the court. If things go really bad for Garnett next year, his $18 million that he is owed for next season would make for an attractive expiring contract.

Doc Rivers, Head Coach = Doc just inked a new five year contract with Boston. Some of the lineups he through out against Miami was a bit odd (the Rondo-West-Allen-Pierce-Garnett he called upon to play the 4^th quarter in Game 4 being the strangest), but desperation will make you do funny things. Boston should let Doc coach as long as he wants.

Danny Ainge, General Manger = Here’s the list of things that needed to happen in order for Ainge’s decision to trade Kendrick Perkins a good move.

1. Jeff Green needed to go from being the 3^rd option on Oklahoma City to a bench player who gave quality defensive minutes at both small forward and power forward (that didn’t happen).
2. Shaquille O’Neal needed to be healthy for the playoffs and give Boston 20 to 25 solid minutes a night (that didn’t happen).
3. Glen Davis needed to continue his stellar early season play as an undersized center and backup power forward (that didn’t happen).

It’s fair to say that Ainge botched this one. Never in the history of the NBA had a team that was the favorite before the trade deadline butchered its roster so poorly. It would’ve made much more sense for Ainge to hang on to Perkins, make a minor move to acquire a wing player (Corey Brewer would’ve made a ton of sense if Jeff Green hadn’t already been added to the roster), and go into the playoffs as the #1 seed in the East. Hindsight is 20/20, but this is a move that Ainge should regret for a long time.

State of the Lakers

            As someone who predicted Los Angeles to crush the Mavericks in five games, I couldn’t of been more surprised how the Lakers folded like a lawn chair against Dallas. Now that the dust has settled for a couple of days, let’s look at the key components of the Lakers and figure out where they go from here.

Derek Fisher, PG – Fisher’s basketball career needs to be put down like a dying dog. The offense the Lakers run doesn’t require much ball handling from the point guard, but they desperately need some speed and defense at the 1 (Lakers fans shouldn’t expect either of those traits to ever come from Steve Blake). Here’s a quick list of potential free agents that they might be able to sign for a low-risk contract.

Delonte West (BOS)

Jose Juan Barea (DAL, would make a ton of sense after Barea destroyed them during the sweep)

T.J. Ford (IND)

Anthony Carter (NY)

Ron Artest, SF – Los Angeles would’ve been much happier with acquiring Artest if they had done in it 2003 as opposed to 2009. He still has instincts on defense, but no longer has the speed to hang with athletic wings. Sadly for Lakers fans, he’s going to be owed another $22 million for the next three years. The best-case scenario would be forcing a club that wants Bynum or Gasol to take Artest along with him.

Lamar Odom, SF/PF – On one hand, Odom is a skilled big-man who can handle the ball and pound the boards. On the other, he’s starring in a reality show with a Kardashian. In spite of the television shenanigans, he should be a player they keep going forward. His versatility is much to valuable to give away in a panic trade.

Andrew Bynum, C – Supposedly, Bynum has the talent to develop into a franchise center. If I’m the Lakers, I’m calling Orlando everyday until a trade for Dwight Howard is in place (the worst kept secret in the NBA is that Howard wants to join the Lakers either via trade or as a free agent after next season).

Pau Gasol, PF/C – If internet rumor sites are to believed, a fellow Laker encouraging Pau’s girlfriend to break up with Pau is the reason for Gasol’s struggles in the playoffs. If that Laker was anyone that doesn’t have the last name of “Bryant”, I would be shipping that Laker out of town ASAP. Gasol is too gifted an offensive player to be discarded for 25 cents on the dollar.

Kobe Bryant, SG – Here’s two things I can definitively say after watching Bryant play for the past month.

1. Bryant no longer has the ability to consistently get to the rim.
2. He ain’t no Jordan (this should be obvious, but I’ll say it for die-hard Lakers fans. MJ never would’ve let his team quit like they did in Game 4 against the Mavericks. Or for that matter, Game 6 of the 2008 Finals against Boston).

             Bryant still has life in him. No one will benefit from the upcoming lockout more than him (after the NBA Finals, there probably will not be a NBA game until January). The biggest question for him will be if he accepts being the second best player on a team that also could feature Dwight Howard within a year or two.

Phil Jackson, Head Coach – Phil is going to be smoking tons of pot in Montana. Unless the Knicks offer him $50 million to coach for the 2012-13 season, we’ll never see the Zen Master on the bench again.