David Stern Can Go To Hell

     Get ready for a talking heads explosion on ESPN tomorrow. David Stern blasted Greg Popovich for resting the San Antonio Spurs' Big 3, saying that the Spurs would face significant . He sent Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, and Manu Ginobili home instead of bringing them to Miami. Popovich also didn't bring along Danny Green, who's led the team in minutes during the first month of the season. Tonight's game was the Spurs fourth in five nights, and their sixth road game in ten days.
     What exactly can David Stern fine the Spurs for? Good planning? Miami hadn't played a game since Saturday, so even the best effort from San Antonio would've likely resulted in a loss. Stern is just pissed because Popovich rested his stars during a nationally televised game on TNT. I look forward to seeing what rule the NBA commish makes up on the fly so he can penalize San Antonio.

Better Late Than Never Mailbag (10-27-12)

It's been a while since we emptied the inbox, so here you go. As always, these may or may not be actual messages from real or fake people.

Who would you rather party with, Wade Boggs, Oil Can Boyd, or Josh Beckett? – Tom A., Goffstown, NH

            We’re ruling Beckett out without hesitation because while he likes to drink beer, he’d probably just talk about his ranch in Texas the whole time. Choosing between Boggs and Boyd depends on your tastes. Legend has it that Wade Boggs once drank between 60-70 beers on a cross-country flight, and was famous for eating fried chicken before every game (keep in mind his career lasted 18 years, and baseball teams play 162 games a year). Oil Can Boyd has similar interests, with the added element of cocaine. Booger-sugar has never been something I’ve been interested in, so I’ll party with Boggs. 

Is Dale Earnhardt Jr. a hero or a pansy for seeking out medical help and missing two races? – Floyd P., Mobile, AL

            If the injury had to do with any body part other than his head, I’d say he was taking the easy way out. As it was, if he was in the top-5 in the points, I guaruantee he wouldn’t of visited the doctor after his Talladega crash. There’s too much to lose for a championship contending driver to take a race off. Hopefully Junior will not have further issues (concussions ruined Ricky Craven’s driving career, to name one example) and can be a championship threat in 2013.

What do you think of the NFL playing in London? – Janice L., Brownfield, ME

            I’ve never been a fan of it. It takes a home date away from a team (this Sunday, the Rams are technically the home team, even though the ratio of people that know who Tom Bray is as compared to the number of people who know who Sam Bradford is 150,000-1 in the U.K.), which in the name of fairness, is wrong. If this Sunday’s game was played in St. Louis, Tom Brady and the sputtering Patriots offense (more on that later) would have to play against a defense that has laid it all on the line every week so far this season in a loud dome. Instead, New England essentially gets a ninth home game. I’m all for using preseason to showcase the NFL in other countries, but playing games that actually count overseas is ridiculous.
 

Would you put money on anyone other than Miami or the Lakers in the Finals? – Ben B., Buford, GA

            If I understand the wording of this question right, we’re asking if any of the other 28 teams could win the championship. The only team I’d logically consider betting would be Oklahoma City. They have the depth and the star-power needed to make a championship run, even if they would have to beat both Los Angeles and Miami to do it. Unfortunately if you’re betting at a casino, you’re only getting 3.5-1 on your money if you place a futures bet on the Thunder. If you don’t mind potentially pissing money away, Boston at 12-1, Philadelphia at 30-1 (would need a healthy Andrew Bynum and an Evan Turner breakout year to make some noise), and Denver at 40-1 (ton of talent, but who’s their crunch-time guy?) are the most logical long-shot bets.

So there’s no hockey right now, and no one gives a shit. Why? – Paul J., Ithaca, NY

            Diehard hockey fans are different than most sports fans. They are more willing too consume lower talent level leagues if the NHL isn’t available. They are watching minor leagues, college, high school, or overseas league games. If MLB were to go on strike again, hardcore seam-heads wouldn’t start watching college games or Triple-A games. Hockey fans enjoy the game itself, regardless of the level of talent they are seeing. There isn’t the outcry from this group like there was during the NFL lockout a year ago.
            As for casual fans, we’re too busy watching NFL games and the World Series. The NBA showed that they could survive without having games until Christmas last year. There’s simply too much going on right now for most casual fans to say, “Hey, why aren’t the Bruins playing?” Casual fans won’t be looking for hockey until it’s the usual time for the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Sadly, the owners know they can get away with a lockout, and until the players bend to their wants and needs, there will be no NHL.

What’s going to happen to Tim Tebow? He’s nowhere to be found in a Jets uniform! – Janice L., Brownfield, ME

            Barring a Mark Sanchez injury (it appears there isn’t a level of play bad enough that will force Rex Ryan to bench him), Tebow will continue to fill the role of “interesting hood ornament”. He was brought in to get attention and generate headlines, and I think that’s what the Jets will try to milk out of him for the rest of the season before Jacksonville trades the Jets a third round pick for Tebow next spring. Or even better, maybe he'll get cut and the Patriots will sign him to replace Danny Woodhead (more on that in the next answer).

Lots of finger pointing with the Patriots this year due to their early issues (though they have only lost the 3 games by a combined total of 4 points). Things like Josh McDaniels is too cute/arrogant at times with his playcalling, the secondary if awful, Bill Belichick is not the defensive "genius" he once was, Brady has lost his grip on executing in pressure situations, the offense can't close out games, etc. Obviously its a combination of many things, but what do you think is the most significant factor? – Mike S., Keene, NH

            Mike covered most of the points, but here’s a bullet form list that I will then choose the most significant factor from.

-         Too much Danny Woodhead (I get it that he’s a short white-guy so naturally most people from New England love him, but the dude averages 3.5 yards a carry. The Patriots three other runningbacks average 5.4, 5.0, and 4.4 yards a carry. Let’s bring Woodhead in on 3^rd down passing situations and never hand off to him. EVER)

-         Lack of a dominant pass rusher

-         Lousy secondary

-         Poor offensive playcalling (has there been anything more comical than watching Tom Brady attempted 12 back-shoulder fade passes a game to Brandon Lloyd?)

           To answer the question, we’ll put bullet points one and four together. Josh McDaniels needs to utilize his weapons better with more high percentage plays, and stick with the running game when it is working. If he wants to make sure he doesn’t keep hurting himself, he can hit Woodhead in the knee with a crowbar.

Bobby Valentine rolled David Ortiz under the bus the other day. Shouldn’t he of done that before he was fired? – Rick S., Worcester, MA

            Valentine seems like a guy who likes making headlines, so it could’ve helped him out in that department.

Who has the better chance of coming back, Mariano Rivera or Derek Jeter? – Janice L., Brownfield, ME

            With reports out now that Rivera is having second thoughts about returning next season (remember, he was more than likely going to retire if he didn’t blow out his knee shagging fly balls in batting practice), Jeter has to be the choice. A broken ankle isn’t a picnic, but the rehabilitation needed to fully recover from that injury is much less significant than returning from a torn ACL. 

The NBA is dropping the center spot from the All-Star ballot. Why is this news? – Marcus S., Irvine, CA

            David Stern has made it a habit of putting out odd press releases in the fall to try to steal headlines from the NFL. Chalk this up as another attempt at a fun headline. It’s a shame we’ll only get to enjoy them for two more years.

A pound of gold and one of feathers weighs the same. (But carrying one or the other is very different)
Pitcher "A" can through a ball @ 100 MPH. And so can pitcher "B". (Very differently)
Don't even get me started on terminal velocity, apples, and gravitational pull. (122 MPH versus Red Bull)
Anyone can look through a scope and see the target. (100 meters - to calculating the curvature of the earth @ 1.5 miles)
Hell, I was under the impression that having one testicle gave you an advantage. (One nut, two nut, three nut, dope)
Eat eggs, don't eat eggs. (Eat or be eaten...trust me those nasty birds would start w/ your eyes)
Men. Don't carry cellular devices in your front pocket and turn them off while in flight. (Like dodging a bullet is a bad thing)
Girl- "I don't care how big it is"
Guys translation- "I have a small penis"
Girl " you are huge!"
Guys translation- "she is lying" (self explanatory)
I'm going to get another Tattoo. (If I didn't have one, I wouldn't have any)
My question? What passed through your mind in the last 10 minutes dick? – Ryan B., Kearsarge, NH

            I’d love to share it, but would be embarrassed to reveal how much of those 10 minutes would be filled up by children’s television programming.

Sports Gone Bonkers and Week 14 NFL Picks

            No Credentials has degenerated into a hack-gambling blog (which depending on your point of view, is a step up or down from a hack-sports analyst blog), so we’re getting back to our roots a little bit with this week’s NFL picks. I’ve mixed in some commentary on all of the crazy transactions (both completed and attempted), a low brow joke about Colt McCoy, and I discuss a successful NHL parlay bet that you won’t care about. Enjoy!

On Pujols to the Angels… This was the “wow” story of the day Thursday until the botched Chris Paul trade blew it off the headlines (what does that say for the state of baseball when the movement of it’s best player to another team is overshadowed by a screwed up NBA trade?). A ten-year deal sounds crazy for a 31-year-old first basemen (who may really be 35, if conspiracy theorists are to be believed), but it’s more sensible when you consider Pujols will be in the American League. Use of the DH spot should allow the Angels to get six or seven good Pujols seasons as opposed to just four or five. Throw in the signing of C.J. Wilson away from the rival Rangers, and the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim/California/Orange County/San Andreas Fault are the prohibitive favorites in the AL West, and maybe even the entire American League.

RAVENS (-16.5) over Colts

            I don’t trust Flacco enough to cover this many points to stick this game in my top-5, but have already plugged this game into a 10-point teaser.

Baltimore 34, Indianapolis 10

Confidence Score = 11

Texans (+3) over BENGALS

            The Bengals bubble has burst.

Houston 24, Cincinnati 10

Confidence Score = 9

On Colt McCoy continuing to play last Thursday after suffering a concussion… I can understand how Cleveland missed that their quarterback had his bell rung against Pittsburgh. McCoy plays every week like he’s suffering the effects of a concussion.

JETS (-10.5) over Chiefs

            Mark Sanchez will pull something out of his ass to allow the Jets to cover.

New York 17, Kansas City 6

Confidence Score = 7

On Dwight Howard flirting with the Nets… This story only makes sense if two scenarios are in play. The first one is that Howard (and more likely, his agent) were pissed that the Lakers tried to get Chris Paul first, and wanted to float it out among the masses that Howard’s “preferred” the New Jersey/Brooklyn/New York Lite Nets over any other team. Sure he gets to run the pick and roll with Deron Williams (which by the way, would be devastating), but does he really want to play on the second fiddle New York team over the Lakers? I don’t think so.

            Scenario two is that the mutant multi-billionaire owner of the Nets offered Howard 30 virgins who look exactly like Anna Kournikova. I’m leaning towards scenario two.

Vikings (+10) over LIONS

            Peterson’s return against the still Suh-less Lions should keep the score close.

Detroit 24, Minnesota 21

Confidence Score = 4

TITANS (+3.5) over Saints

            I don’t feel great about this pick, but this game is much more important to Tennessee than it is to the Saints.

Tennessee 27, New Orleans 21

Confidence Score = 3

DOLPHINS (-3) over Eagles

            Miami has been a point spread covering juggernaut for almost two full months. Expect that to continue against the hapless Eagles.

Miami 27, Philadelphia 20
Confidence Score = 10

On the two hockey parlays I wrote about the other night… We’ll skip the parlay I did with Phoenix and the Rangers, because you read enough depressing stuff everyday and don’t need to hear about how both teams lost, or how Phoenix was down 5-1 at one point against Detroit. Lets skip the negative, and hit the positive. The Panthers-Bruins game went exactly as I thought it would (which is weird, because things work out the way I think I should roughly 6.8932949% of the time). Lost in all the talk in Beantown about Tyler Seguin’s desperate need for a functioning alarm clock was the fact that the Florida Panthers are a damn good hockey team. From what I can figure out, anytime you can get a good team at anything better than +150, you take it.

            As for the second leg of the parlay, New Jersey appeared to have the win in the bag against Ottawa until giving up a shorthanded goal with four seconds left in the third period. Thankfully 95% of hockey games are not on cable television, or else I surely would’ve clogged an artery over this game. Thankfully, New Jersey was able to pull it out in overtime. After that overtly exciting (and emotionally taxing win) I think I’ll take a few days off from betting hockey.

Patriots (-8) over REDSKINS

            New England doesn’t need to cover a three touchdown spread, so I like them this week.

New England 41, Washington 24

Confidence Score = 13

PANTHERS (+3) over Falcons
            It’s hard not to bet the over (only 47) on this game.

Carolina 38, Atlanta 35

Confidence Score = 6

Buccaneers (-2.5) over JAGUARS

            The only game on the schedule worse than the Monday night game this week.

Tampa Bay 27, Jacksonville 10

Confidence Score = 2

On the Chris Paul saga… Bill Simmons pretty much wrote all of my thoughts on this debacle here, but let me again list my primary gripes.

1. Where can a better offer from Chris Paul come from? The Clippers had already resisted trading Eric Gordon. Golden State already had said Stephen Curry was untouchable. Boston was offering a package built around Rajon Rondo, but do you really want to build your team around a point guard who can’t shoot (here’s a quick answer to that question Celtics fans…NOPE)? Rumor has it that the Knicks had worked out a similar three-team deal that the Lakers tried to make (which would’ve resulted in Amar’e Stoudemire ending up in Houston), but New Orleans wouldn’t of gotten a player of Lamar Odom’s caliber back. The point is, the Hornets had pursued all avenues. They knew that Chris Paul’s value would be at its highest before the season when no clubs had added any free agents yet. What they can get for him will only go down as the season progresses. That three-way deal looked like the best package New Orleans was going to get.
2. Just because a bunch of small-market owners wine means that a trade in a professional sports league gets nixed? Do NBA owners get the same option to veto trades as fantasy sports owners do? I wasn’t aware that was the case. Other owners had every right to gripe about the Lakers acquiring Paul (who wants to see a rival team getting a top-5 point guard), but to let that griping lead to a veto is insane.
3. David Stern just needs to go away. The man seems to have forgotten that the success of teams in urban markets is what has made his league what it is. Apparently according to Stern, the needs of owners of teams like Cleveland and Minnesota are more important than the needs of owners of the leagues most important franchises (Lakers, Celtics, Bulls). I’m not sure when Stern morphed into a hardcore socialist, but it is not healthy for the league.

49ers (-4) over CARDINALS

            People are little too excited about Arizona after their fluky win over the Cowboys.

San Francisco 20, Arizona 3

Confidence Score = 15

BRONCOS (-3.5) over Bears

            Caleb Hanie is not the man to defy God and His QB.

Denver 17, Chicago 7

Confidence Score = 14

PACKERS (-11.5) over Raiders

            Review Oakland’s performance against New England earlier this season to see the most likely outcome for this game.

Green Bay 35, Oakland 14

Confidence Score = 12

On Hanley Ramirez not wanting to play third base… This scenario reminds me of a classic male-female relationship battle. Let’s say the male (we’ll call him Ted) asks his girlfriend what she thinks if he goes to a friend’s house to play poker on a Friday night. The girl (we’ll call her Molly) says, “sure if that’s something you want to do.” (EDITORS NOTE: Hey guys, I know virtually nothing about women, but I do know that when they throw out the “if that’s what you want to do” line, that means they think whatever it is that you want to do is retarded). Ted says he’ll think about it for a day or two before deciding if he’ll go.

            Friday rolls around, and Ted tells Molly he’s going to play poker. Molly freaks out, saying things like, “Why don’t you want to spend time with me on Friday night? We usually watch a movie every Friday and eat popcorn and cuddle.” Ted says, “Just the other day you said it was cool if I played poker.” Molly then rolls her eyes and walks out of the room.
            To make a long story short, that’s essentially what happened with Hanley Ramirez. The Marlins reached out to Hanley two weeks ago and asked if he would mind switching to third. Hanley apparently said something to the extent of, “Well, if it would make the team better I’ll do it.” (EDITORS NOTE: For those still following along, “if it would make the team better” is the equivalent of “if that’s something you want to do”) He must not of thought the Marlins were serious, but quickly realized they were when the signed Jose Reyes for $106 million. Ramirez has already spoken to the media and said he never okayed a switch to third, and was never on board with it.
            How will this all play out? I see Ramirez getting traded. Ozzie Guillen is not a guy that will put up with shit like this, and I’m guessing the new owners of the team aren’t very happy about it either. There are certainly enough teams looking for a shortstop, so expect Miami to get a king’s ransom for him.

CHARGERS (-7) over Bills

            I’ll buy a San Diego resurgence for at least one more week.

San Diego 34, Buffalo 17

Confidence Score = 16

Giants (+3.5) over COWBOYS

            I have no idea what’s going to happen in this game, so we’ll play it safe and take the points.

Dallas 27, New York 24

Confidence Score = 1

SEAHAWKS (-10) over Rams

            Marshawn Lynch looks like the front-runner for the “surprise fantasy runningback that will swing championships” award.

Seattle 24, St. Louis 10

Confidence Score = 8

Thursday Pick = 1-0 (good job Browns only losing by 11)

Season Record = 95-89-8
S Top-5 = 33-30-2