Mid-Season NASCAR Power Rankings

Don’t Ask Him to Pee in a Cup

35. A.J. Allmendinger

            A.J. literally pissed his chances of a legitimate Sprint Cup career away, barring a miraculous B-sample test result.

Completely, Utterly, Irrelevant

34. David Stremme

33. Dave Blaney
32. David Reutimann
31. Landon Cassill
30. Travis Kvapil
29. David Gilliland
28. Casey Mears
            This group has accomplished only two noteworthy things this season. Dave Blaney was the leader of the Daytona 500 when Juan Pablo Montoya took out the jet dryer (which resulted in Blaney being a trending topic on Twitter, which is reason #112 the Mayans might be on to something). David Reutimann drove his decrepit racecar around one lap too long at Martinsville, stopped on the front straightaway, and fucked up a classic duel between Jimmie Johnson and Jeff Gordon. Other than that, nothing to see here.

Incredibly, These Guys Won a Race Last Year

27. David Ragan

            It’s really hard to look at David Ragan and not feel bad for the guy. Going from Roush Fenway to Front Row Motorsports is like going from Hawaii to North Korea.

26. Regan Smith

            Sadly, the fortunes of Smith have taken a turn for the worse in 2012. His average finish is down 3 spots, and he’s only finished on the lead lap 1/6^th of the races (he accomplished that just over half the time last season). Someone needs to pump some R&D dollars into Furniture Row Racing.

Modern Day 1990’s Version of Darrell Waltrip

25. Bobby Labonte

            Sometime in the late-90s, a sportswriter asked Darrell Waltrip why he was still hanging around, ruining his reputation and making everyone forget that he was once a championship-winning driver. His reply? “Can’t quit, money’s too good.” I’m guessing Bobby Labonte would have a similar answer to that question.

Keeping the Seat Warm for Somebody

24. Aric Almirola

            Joey Logano. Ryan Newman. Kurt Busch. All three of those drivers are significantly more talented than Almirola, and all three could be available to drive the flagship car for Dodge next season. Almirola better be ready for a start and park gig next year.

Used to be Relevant (Emphasis on “Used”)

23. Jamie McMurray

            Two years ago, McMurray won both the Daytona 500 and the Brickyard 400. This season, his best finish is seventh, and he only has two other finishes inside the top-10. The equipment at Earnhardt-Ganassi isn’t cutting the mustard.

22. Jeff Burton

            No Credentials predicts that Jeff Burton will officially enter the D.W. 1990s version point of his career in 2013. He’s washed up, and it’s time for Richard Childress to find a new driver for the 31.

21. Juan Pablo Montoya

            I could wax poetic about the struggles of Montoya, but instead let’s post the video of the jet dryer he crashed into exploding.

2004-05 Jeremy Mayfield Impersonator, Minus the Crystal Meth Addiction

20. Paul Menard

            Jeremy Mayfield’s most noteworthy career accomplishment will be making the first two Chase’s by hammering out mediocre top-15 finishes week after week. Menard has been following a similar plan, but unfortunately the field is much deeper now.

Drives His Ass Off

19. Kurt Busch

            Kurt Busch has done quite a few noteworthy things in his year of purgatory. He gave his brother Kyle his first Nationwide win as an owner. Busch brought James Finch Racing to victory lane at Daytona in July (which even though it was Nationwide, was still a major David vs. Goliath moment in the world of auto racing). Most impressively, he wheeled a car with a broken suspension to a third place finish at Sonoma (which in case you forget, is one of two tracks that features right turns). Unfortunately, the following run-in with a reporter will severely hinder Busch’s chances of landing a top-flight ride in 2013.

Frisky at Certain Locations

18. Marcos Ambrose

            Ambrose has shown tremendous progress on ovals this season, but the egg he laid at Sonoma will prevent him sneaking in to The Chase.

17. Ryan Newman

            Newman is only nine points out of the second wild card heading into the Brickyard 400, but his unsettled future makes No Credentials feel like he has no chance of making it. Newman has no contract for next season with Stewart-Haas.

16. Joey Logano

            Logano appears to have done enough to keep a seat at Joe Gibbs Racing (the only reason Matt Kenseth’s deal with Gibbs hasn’t been announced is because they are still finalizing Logano’s sponsorship package), and the next two races will be his best chance at sneaking into a wildcard spot. He dominated the first Sprint Cup race at Pocono (which the series will return to the first Sunday in August), and success there usually translates to a good run at Indianapolis. If he sweeps both races, he’ll be in The Chase.

3-Headed Monster

15. Mark Martin/Brian Vickers/Michael Waltrip

            If you added up all of the points the drivers of the #55 have earned, they would currently be twelfth in points. We haven’t seen anything like this in Sprint Cup in years. 

Flop of the Year

14. Carl Edwards

            I had a feeling this season would play out like this for Cousin Carl, but didn’t have enough intestinal fortitude to rank him this low before the season. Edwards has only led one lap at a track other than Richmond this season. Maybe next year he can get Matt Kenseth’s personal to give him a boost.

Worse Luck Than the 1980 Soviet Union Hockey Team

13. Jeff Gordon

            Ending up on his roof in the Budweiser Shootout was only the beginning of a maddening season for Gordon. Unlike Carl Edwards, Gordon has led his fair share of laps, and has been in contention to win on multiple occasions. Crashes, equipment failure, and bad breaks have bit the former Boy Wonder like never before. Folks still believe in him, but his days of ripping off multiple wins in a short time span are about eight years behind him. The Brickyard 400 is a must win for him.

Will Probably Make the Chase, but Won’t be Factors

12. Martin Truex Jr.

            Truex looked like a sure bet to reach victory lane just over a month ago, but has tailed off since. Of the drivers currently in the top 10, he would appear to be the most likely to drop out.

11. Kevin Harvick

            Richard Childress Racing just hasn’t had the speed this season (see the performance of Jeff Burton and Paul Menard for proof). Harvick has done a brilliant job of getting the Budweiser Chevrolet safely into the top 10 in points, but that won’t be enough to bring home a championship. Fortunately, Harvick still has his way with words.

Will Make the Chase, and Then Choke Like He Does Every Year

10. Kyle Busch

            For all of Kyle Busch’s success, do you realize he has only won once during the NASCAR playoffs? He desperately needs a win to secure a spot in this year’s Chase.

Legitimate Championship Contenders

9. Clint Bowyer

            The lead dog for emerging MWR, who would of thought that Bowyer would actually be increasing his title chances by leaving Richard Childress? Bowyer is the best dark horse bet to win the championship.

8. Greg Biffle

            Biffle has had a fantastic bounce back season after a frustrating 2011. His struggles at three of the Chase venues (Loudon, Martinsville, and Phoenix) are why he’s ranked so low.

7. Matt Kenseth

            Kenseth is still leading the points, but No Credentials has a hard time believing that his lame duck status with Roush won’t begin to have an impact on the success of the 17 car.

6. Dale Earnhardt Jr.

            Junior’s resurgence this season has been huge for the sport, but similar to Kyle Busch, Junior has never had a great deal of success come playoff time. He won two races in the inaugural Chase back in 2004, but hasn’t reached victory lane since.

5. Denny Hamlin

            No Credentials pre-season pick to win hasn’t been too bad this season, but Gibbs just seems to be a hair off on the mile and a half ovals this season.

4. Brad Keselowski

            If the Chase started right now, Keselowski would be tied for first with Tony Stewart thanks to his series high three wins. He’ll be a monster next season when Penske makes the switch from Dodge to Ford.

3. Tony Stewart

            Stewart has been all or nothing this season, seemingly finishing in either the top-3 or in the twenties every week. His epic 2011 title run would suggest that perhaps Stewart has been experimenting a bit this season in an effort to secure more bonus points for the Chase. I wouldn’t be surprised if Stewart began ripping off top-5s week after week in the fall.

2. Kasey Kahne

            His luck in the beginning of the season was abysmal, but Kahne has roared to life since May. Kahne has the speed this year. It’s just a matter of him keeping the car in one piece. No Credentials feels safe suggesting that Kahne will win one of the next five championships.

The Favorite

1. Jimmie Johnson

            Johnson didn’t get off to a sterling start this year either (thank Elliott Sadler and his crooked crew chief, the Evil Dr. Chad Knaus for that), but quietly Johnson has been the most consistent driver since the clocks sprung ahead. The only chink in his armor would appear to be his shoddy pit crew, but we know that Rick Hendrick is willing to swap crews in the name of winning when it matters most (remember Hendrick made the call to switch Jeff Gordon’s pit crew with Johnson’s back in the final race of the 2010 season). It’s Johnson’s championship to lose.