10. Serge Ibaka Definitely Out Against Spurs, Likely Done
For the Season Ibaka’s loss is kind of a bummer, but the Thunder might
be able to get by with the development of Steven Adams. 9. Ed Carpenter Claims Second Straight Indy 500 Pole We’ll say this about Ed Carpenter (mostly, because we
don’t have anything else to say about him)…he’s got this qualifying thing
figured out.
8. Sam Hornish Earns Well Deserved Nationwide Victory at
Iowa
With young bucks like Chase Elliott and Kyle Larson
all the rage, opportunities for 34-year old Sam Hornish are getting harder and
harder to come by. In only his second race of the season subbing for Kyle Busch
in the #54 Monster Toyota, Hornish dominated the field.
7. Kevin Love Intends to Hit Free Agency We’re saving conversation about this topic for a column
I’d like to write later in the week, but probably won’t.
6. Los Angeles Destroys Anaheim, Advances to Western
Conference Finals
4. Blackhawks Take Game 1 of Western Conference Finals
Over Los Angeles
Corey Crawford might be the most underrated goalie in THE
NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE. 3. Jamie McMurray Earns Popular All-Star Race Victory For whatever reason, McMurray is on the short list of drivers
that if he wins, every other competitor is happy for him. His battle to take
the lead with Carl Edwards in the final segment was one of the most memorable
moments of the season so far. 2. California Chrome One Win Away From Triple Crown In even better news, New York officials will allow C.C. to wear his nasal strip, which he has
worn every race during his current winning streak.
1. Pacers Look Competent, Defeat Miami in Game 1
I’d
get more excited about this, but Miami has lost every single road Game 1
they’ve played in the Lebron Era. Don’t be shocked at all if they win by 25
points tomorrow night.
10. Jon Lester Racks Up 15 Ks It was an extremely gaudy number of strikeouts for Lester, who
isn’t known for a high strikeout rate. He hasn’t pitched this well in a game
since his no-hitter all the way back in 2008.
9. Denny Hamlin Earns First Win of 2014 at Talladega
Denny
can thank his lucky stars that NASCAR didn’t throw a caution flag before
he took the white, as there was no way he would’ve held the lead on the
backstretch during the final lap.
8.Pacers Survive 3-Point Chucking Hawks Atlanta set NBA records for most threes in a series and a
single playoff game Saturday, but that wasn’t enough to overcome a Pacers squad that sort of look like it figured things out.
We’ll find out when they face John Wall and the Wizards tonight.
4. Marion Gaborik Ties Game Late, Then Delivers Kings Overtime
Victory Over Ducks
When he’s engaged, there are few snipers more
effective than Gaborik in THE NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE. Saturday night, Gaborik was engaged. 3. Bruins Rack Up Four Third Period Goals, Even Series
With Montreal It’s hard to remember another hockey team that has
as much of a flair for the dramatic as the Bruins have had over the past five
years or so. Saturday was another memorable comeback,
which ensures they wouldn’t travel to Montreal in a 0-2 hole. 2. Clippers Outlast Warriors in Game 7 Shootout Doc Rivers looked more excited Saturday night than he was when the Celtics won the title six
years ago. I guess with all his team has dealt with over the past week, it was
warranted.
1. Damian Lillard Delivers the Dagger, Eliminates Houston
0.9 seconds was all Lillard needed to send
the Rockets home for the summer. Blazers-Rockets may not have lasted the full
seven games, but from start to finish it was the most entertaining series of
the first round.
Incredibly,
this is our third annual Kentucky Derby preview. I’ve posted the video of the 2012 Derby in this space on several
occasions, so it won’t kill us to watch it one more time.
Last year,
the horse we picked led for about five seconds before Orb blew it away coming
off the final turn (I don’t remember the name, I just know it had something to
do with war veterans). Despite last year’s failure, we’re still following the
same rules that led us to choose I’ll Have Another two years ago. They are as
follows.
1.The horse has to have a cool name. Kind of like pro athletes and
actors, if the horse doesn’t have a name, he doesn’t have a game.
2.I want some good odds. I’d rather win $600 on a $20 investment
betting on Vicar’s in Trouble than $50 on a $20 wager on California Chrome.
3.If a horse covers the first two bases, I needed to find at least
one writer on-line who thought that horse could win.
Without further ado, our rankings. Please note that
with the exception of the horse we chose to win, the odds listed for
the rest of the field are what the betting lines opened at. I’m too lazy to
change all of them (sorry!).
20. Danza (10-1)
Holy
shit, we have a horse named after none other than Tony Danza (EDITORS NOTE: We
didn’t actually confirm whether this was true or not, but it would be amusing
if that was the truth). I don’t like Tony Danza.
19. General A Rod (15-1)
Loosely
associating your horse with Alex Rodriguez isn’t a good idea these days.
18. Vicar’s In Trouble (30-1)
A
shockingly prophetic name, as Vicar drew the rail.
17. Uncle Sigh (30-1)
Equal
parts offbeat and uninspiring, this could be the weirdest name for a horse in
the three years we’ve done this.
16. Commanding Curve (50-1)
Whether its
referencing Satchel Paige’s famous out pitch or Kim Kardashian’s backside,
we’re not ready to plunk $20 on C.C.
15. Hoppertunity (withdrawn)
An
annual highlight of this post is making fun of Bob Baffert, but kudos to him
for pulling one of the favorites out of the Derby due to a sore foot.
14. Harry’s Holiday (50-1)
What’s
the nature of Harry’s Holiday? Is it a Christmas spent in the Caribbean? New
Year’s Eve in Times Square? Playing hooky from work? I want answers.
13. Samraat (15-1)
I
have a bias against words that feature the same vowel used consecutively.
12. We Miss Artie (50-1)
Either
the owner is a Howard Stern fan who misses Artie Lange, or there was a lost
family member named Artie. No Credentials offers our condolences.
11. Tapiture (15-1)
There
is a tapestry we have in our bedroom that acts like a pseudo curtain. Often
when we pull it down at night, it falls down. I hate this tapestry.
10. Intense Holiday (12-1)
No
Credentials forecasts a 50% chance that the name of this horse originates from
adultery.
9. Wildcat Red (15-1)
It
should be international law that any ski-bum bar has a patron nicknamed Wildcat
Red.
8. Medal Count (20-1)
Whether
referencing Olympic athletes or on-line gamers, this is the first participant I
considered picking to win.
7. Ride on Curlin (15-1)
Is
it the name of a lost B-Side from Led Zeppelin III, or a racehorse?
Apparently, the latter.
6. California Chrome (5-2)
On
paper, he’s the class of the field by a landslide. Fortunately, the Derby isn’t
run on paper.
5. Chitu (20-1)
Initially
ranked him first, but deeper research shows he’s not a closer. This is a
bummer, because we wanted to bet on a horse whose name could’ve been the name
of a Rush song in the late ‘70s.
4. Wicked Strong (8-1)
If
Wicked Strong was named to honor the victims of the Boston Marathon, why didn’t
they just name it Boston Strong? That coupled with it’s outside post position
give us reason not to wager on him.
3. Vinceremos (30-1)
This
year’s winner of coolest name (no one else in the field could share their
moniker with a Transformer), but unfortunately we couldn’t find one writer that
would even mention him as a contender.
2. Candy Boy (20-1 Candy
Boy brings me back to 50 Cent’s heyday. That’s probably not a good thing.
1. Dance With Fate (14-1)
There’s a lot to like here. For starters, he’s not
simply racing, he’s literally dancing with fucking fate. Second, he’s among the
top closers in the field, which typically plays well on the longer Churchill
Downs track. Lastly, after opening at 20-1, his odds have dropped to 14-1, and
he could be in single digits before the race starts tomorrow. Dance With Fate
is our choice to take down the 2014 Kentucky Derby.
