10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (5/24-5/26)

10. FOX Camera Wire Snaps, Injuring Fans, Damaging Cars, and Delaying Race
            No word yet on who is to blame for the malfunction, but I have a feeling FOX will claim it has something to do with liberals.

9. Cain Velasquez Destroys Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva

            Using my betting strategy from the Kentucky Derby, there is no way I would pick a dude nicknamed “Bigfoot” to win a championship fight.

8. Nico Rosberg Wins Monaco GP

            I caught the last 18 laps of this one (kudos to NBC for broadcasting it live, a first for network television in the United States), and came way thinking that it would be really cool to hang out in Monaco.

7. Anibal Sanchez Comes Up 2 Outs Short of Second Career No-Hitter
            The Twins trotted out four players with batting averages that were .212 or worse Friday night. Reason number 93,481 why we need to get MLB hitters back on the juice.

6. Bayern Munich Wins the Champions League Final

            I have nothing in the form of substantial analysis to offer on this event, but here are my takeaways.

a.       This is the second week in a row a soccer championship has been won, and made the weekly top 10.

b.      Bayern Munich will play for another championship next week.

c.       It was pretty cool that two German clubs were playing for the title in an English stadium. Sehr gut!

 

      d.  Someone needs to message me and explain why there are 5,254,192 soccer trophies.

           

 

5. Penguins Beat the Piss Out of Ottawa, Advance to Eastern Conference Finals
4. Bruins Finish Off Rangers
            Finally, Boston gets to exact revenge for what Ulf Samuelsson did to Cam Neely in the 1991 Conference Finals.

            Crosby and Malkin better have their heads on a swivel.

3. Pacers Hang on For Game 2 Win in Miami
            Indiana’s triumph in Miami would’ve been #1 if Miami didn’t beat the living shit out of them Sunday night. It was fun for 48 hours when people thought there was actually a chance the Heat wouldn’t make the finals.

2. Kevin Harvick Steals Another Crown Jewel Event, Wins Coca-Cola 600

            I think I ranked Harvick in the low teens in my pre-season NASCAR column. With his second win of the year (virtually assuring him a spot in the playoffs), he’s quickly added that to the long list of poor No Credentials predictions.

1. Tony Kanaan Finally Wins the Indianapolis 500

            While not as noteworthy as the failures of the Andretti family over the years at Indy (they are 1 for 69 as a family, which is remarkable when you consider that Mario and Michael were two of the greatest Indy Car drivers of all time), Tony Kanaan has been snake-bit at the Brickyard for the last decade, routinely having a fast car, but being unable to reach victory lane. A perfectly timed pass before a caution assured him of finally breaking through.


           This post concludes another riveting season of weekend reviews. Check No Credentials all summer long for thoughts on the NBA Finals, the Stanley Cup Finals, MLB, and the NFL team previews. The weekend review will return to recap Week 1 of the NFL season in September.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (12/28-12/30)

10. Hideki Matsui Retires
            Matsui easily ranks as one of my five favorite Yankees of the 2000s. Affectionately nicknamed “Chief Matsui” in the greater Mount Washington Valley area, he will be best remembered as the best Japanese baseball import not named Ichiro Suzuki.

9. Clippers Win 17^th in a Row

            Kobe Bryant and the rest of the Lakers’ organization have every right to acknowledge the Clippers as the better NBA team in Los Angeles.

8. Patriots Dominate Dolphins

7. Broncos Clobber Chiefs
            With both teams snagging first round byes Sunday, it’s hard to fathom which of the other four AFC Playoff teams will prevent a Manning-Brady AFC Championship Game battle.

6. Eagles Officially Quit on Andy Reid

5. Giants Eliminated From Postseason Contention
            When it was 21-0 with two minutes left in the first quarter, I was starting to feel bad for Andy Reid, but then I remembered all the times his Eagles used to beat the crap out of the pathetic Cowboys in the early 2000s. His gross mismanagement of timeouts, challenges, and the play clock will be sorely missed. As for the Giants, I couldn’t be happier that they will be starting their off-season early.
           
4. Cain Velasquez Rocks Junior Dos Santos
            We’ll give Dos Santos a Tommy Point for fighting the final three rounds with a broken jaw.

3. Redskins Win the NFC East
            For those of you that bet a backbreaking Tony Romo interception would lead to doom for the Cowboys, pat yourselves on the back.

2. Chuck Pagano Returns to the Colts Sideline, Colts Beat Texans

            No Credentials has really dropped the ball on the story of Pagano, who made his emotional return in the Colts final home game. Kudos to them for wrecking the Texans opportunity for home-field advantage.

1. Minnesota Vikings Complete Stunning Run to the Playoffs

            The best result of Sunday afternoon’s back and forth, highflying shootout between Aaron Rodgers and Adrian Peterson? They get to do it again Saturday night at Lambeau Field.