10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (5/24-5/26)

10. FOX Camera Wire Snaps, Injuring Fans, Damaging Cars, and Delaying Race
            No word yet on who is to blame for the malfunction, but I have a feeling FOX will claim it has something to do with liberals.

9. Cain Velasquez Destroys Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva

            Using my betting strategy from the Kentucky Derby, there is no way I would pick a dude nicknamed “Bigfoot” to win a championship fight.

8. Nico Rosberg Wins Monaco GP

            I caught the last 18 laps of this one (kudos to NBC for broadcasting it live, a first for network television in the United States), and came way thinking that it would be really cool to hang out in Monaco.

7. Anibal Sanchez Comes Up 2 Outs Short of Second Career No-Hitter
            The Twins trotted out four players with batting averages that were .212 or worse Friday night. Reason number 93,481 why we need to get MLB hitters back on the juice.

6. Bayern Munich Wins the Champions League Final

            I have nothing in the form of substantial analysis to offer on this event, but here are my takeaways.

a.       This is the second week in a row a soccer championship has been won, and made the weekly top 10.

b.      Bayern Munich will play for another championship next week.

c.       It was pretty cool that two German clubs were playing for the title in an English stadium. Sehr gut!

 

      d.  Someone needs to message me and explain why there are 5,254,192 soccer trophies.

           

 

5. Penguins Beat the Piss Out of Ottawa, Advance to Eastern Conference Finals
4. Bruins Finish Off Rangers
            Finally, Boston gets to exact revenge for what Ulf Samuelsson did to Cam Neely in the 1991 Conference Finals.

            Crosby and Malkin better have their heads on a swivel.

3. Pacers Hang on For Game 2 Win in Miami
            Indiana’s triumph in Miami would’ve been #1 if Miami didn’t beat the living shit out of them Sunday night. It was fun for 48 hours when people thought there was actually a chance the Heat wouldn’t make the finals.

2. Kevin Harvick Steals Another Crown Jewel Event, Wins Coca-Cola 600

            I think I ranked Harvick in the low teens in my pre-season NASCAR column. With his second win of the year (virtually assuring him a spot in the playoffs), he’s quickly added that to the long list of poor No Credentials predictions.

1. Tony Kanaan Finally Wins the Indianapolis 500

            While not as noteworthy as the failures of the Andretti family over the years at Indy (they are 1 for 69 as a family, which is remarkable when you consider that Mario and Michael were two of the greatest Indy Car drivers of all time), Tony Kanaan has been snake-bit at the Brickyard for the last decade, routinely having a fast car, but being unable to reach victory lane. A perfectly timed pass before a caution assured him of finally breaking through.


           This post concludes another riveting season of weekend reviews. Check No Credentials all summer long for thoughts on the NBA Finals, the Stanley Cup Finals, MLB, and the NFL team previews. The weekend review will return to recap Week 1 of the NFL season in September.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Weekend (4/26-4/28)

10. Thunder Lose Russell Westbrook For Rest of Season
            God must’ve placed a preseason wager on Miami to repeat, because too many things have occurred that have enhanced their ability to win a second straight title. The Thunder will be lucky to make it to the conference finals.

9. Aaron Rodgers Becomes an Incredibly Wealthy Man

            This is a vast improvement over Rodgers’ financial situation last week, when he was merely a moderately wealthy man. He’ll get $40 million this year for his services on the gridiron.

8. Eagles Trade Up to Draft Matt Barkley in Fourth Round

7. New York Jets Use Second Round Pick on Geno Smith
            I’d mock the probable failure of both of these players more, but my Dallas Cowboys just delivered the worst draft class in the history of man.

6. Celtics Stave Off Elimination

            Great to see Boston win what will more than likely be Kevin Garnett’s final home game.

5. Jon Jones Dismantles Chael Sonnen
            Sonnen is a huge douche bag, so the more elbows inflicting serious harm on his face, the better.

4. Anibal Sanchez Whiffs 17 Braves

            For those not in the know, that’s a lot of fucking strikeouts.

3. Kevin Harvick Passes Six Cars in One Lap, Wins Richmond
            I duplicated this feat on NASCAR Thunder 2002 for PS2 back in the day, so this wasn’t really a big deal.

2. Thunder Pull Out Just Enough to Hold Off Rockets

            Kevin Durant better be prepared to take a beating for Oklahoma City’s remaining games this season.

1. Nate Robinson Loses His Mind, Bulls Win Triple-Overtime Thriller

            Nate Robinson directly resulted in my Charlie Sheen post a couple of years back becoming the most viewed page ever produced by this blog (on a day when he was laying in a hospital bed recovering from knee surgery no less), so whenever Nate goes ape shit and single-handedly wills a team into overtime, No Credentials approves.