Week 6 NFL Picks

            Our picks stunk last week. Unless you bet the exact opposite of what was posted on this page last week, you would’ve been better off setting your money on fire. To try to change the mojo up this week, we’re posting on my birthday, and the only birthday wish I want is to be over .500 for the season by the end of the week (actually that’s not true, but it looks good in writing).

5-0 CHIEFS (-8) over 2-3 Raiders

            Oakland’s only two wins this season came against the worst team of the last 25 years and at home in a game that started three hours later than any other football game normally would. This line should be 10.5.

0-4 BUCCANEERS (+2.5) over 2-3 Eagles

            Continuing a theme from the previous pick, Philadelphia’s only two wins came against the cellar dwellers of the NFC East. Tampa Bay sucks too, but they have to win a game eventually.

3-2 RAVENS (+3) over 2-2 Packers

            The Packers haven’t traveled well yet this season. If I could, I’d pick a push.

3-2 Lions (-3) over 3-2 BROWNS

            At some point, the insanity that is the 2013 Cleveland Browns has to come to an end.

1-3 VIKINGS (-2.5) over 1-3 Panthers

            This feels like a storybook, 250-yard rushing game by Adrian Peterson, based on today’s events. Best wishes to Peterson and his family.        

2-3 Rams (+8) over 2-3 TEXANS

            I’ll acknowledge more of a vote against Matt Schaub then confidence in the St. Louis Rams.

0-4 Steelers (+1) over 3-2 JETS

            This is the last week I stubbornly believe in the pathetic Steelers.

3-2 Bengals (-7) over 2-3 BILLS

            Had Buffalo penciled in before remembering that some guy named Thad Lewis is playing quarterback for them this week. Tough times.

4-1 SEAHAWKS (-13.5) over 3-2 Titans

            Echoing the point of the previous pick (lots of synergy this week), we’d like to wish R.I.P. to the 2013 Titans, who’s season will be submarined by the nuclear bomb that is Ryan Fitzpatrick.

5-0 BRONCOS (-27) over 0-5 Jaguars

            It’s more fun to cheer for a team to win by four touchdowns that it is to cheer for a team to not lose by four touchdowns. Not sure if that makes sense, but there you go.

3-2 49ERS (-10.5) over 3-2 Cardinals

            I don’t know what the under is, but if it’s higher than 35, you should bet it.

4-1 PATRIOTS (-1.5) over 5-0 Saints

            This is the last week I stubbornly pick against the Saints.

2-3 COWBOYS (-6) over 1-3 Redskins

            Dallas either blows Washington out, or loses in heartbreaking fashion. There’s no option C.

2-3 CHARGERS (+2.5) over 4-1 Colts

            After all of the other teams in the AFC South lose on Sunday San Diego will need this game a little more than the Colts will Monday night.

Ethan’s Week 6 Picks

Raiders

Eagles
Ravens
Lions
Vikings
Rams
Steelers
Bengals
Seattle
Jaguars
9ers
PATS!
Cowboys
Colts
Happy Birthday
 

No Credentials Last Week = 5-8-1 (ahh!)

Ethan Last Week = 4-9-1 (yikes!)
No Credentials Season = 36-38-3
Ethan Season = 38-36-3
Our Thursday Pick = 0-1