We Have Opinions

            For the last three months, this blog hasn’t produced anything without “10 Awesome Things”, “NBA”, or “Picks” in the title. To kick-start a summer of (hopefully) writing about other things, we’d like to post some thoughts on a variety of topics.

We left Landon Donovan off the World Cup team? Really?

            I get it if you’re a country like Brazil or Spain that when a superstar player ages, he’s no longer good enough to stay on the team. Those countries are trying to win a championship, so it makes sense to bring the best roster you can. The United States should have no such aspirations, so leaving the most famous American soccer player off the roster is asinine. At least we’ll always have this goal against Algeria, which happened to occur on the day my son was born.

 

            The fact that the greatest moment in American soccer history came against Algeria reinforces my point that the United States is going nowhere in the World Cup. Donovan should be on this team.

Mark Cuban isn’t a racist

            He’s just a clumsy public speaker, who due to some poor phrasing marred a legitimate point. For example…

This person is more likely to beat you up

 

than this person

Teams will rue the day they didn’t draft Johnny Fucking Football

            Sure his ceiling is a more athletic version of Tony Romo, but there are at least 16 teams in THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE that would take that. We’re predicting that Manziel (who’s not an idiot) won’t run around as much as he did at Texas A&M, and within three years, will guide Cleveland to playoff contention.

Instead of letting Alex Ovechkin return to Russia, let’s trade him to another team

            For better or worse, there isn’t another player like Ovechkin in the NHL. With rumors that he’s considering staying in Russia and playing in the KHL next year, No Credentials feels that a change of scenery is necessary to keep Ovechkin in the United States. Here are our top 5 favorite potential destinations for the goal scoring extraordinaire.

1. Los Angeles Kings – we’re guessing he’d be excited to play out west.
2. Pittsburgh Penguins – Pittsburgh needs to shake things up a bit (that’s already happened in their front office), so why not swap Evgeni Malkin for Ovechkin? That will never happen, but if it did the Internet would explode in Canada.
3. Boston Bruins – Boston needs an elite goal scorer, and we’re guessing Claude “the Vacuum Salesman” Julien would be able to rein him in.
4. St. Louis Blues – Another deep team that lacks an elite goal scorer, Ovechkin could put them over the top.
5. Toronto Maple Leafs – A blockbuster acquisition of Ovechkin by Toronto would be destined to fail, which would be awesome to watch.

There isn’t a better movie idea than a film where Tom Cruise dies 1,573 times
            It’s an incredible premise. If there were such a thing as “Bible Thumper Movie Awards”, we’re guessing a film featuring the most (in)famous Scientologist dying over and over would slaughter the competition.

Babies are awesome, until they become mobile

            Enjoy the time you have while you’re able to plop your newborn into a bouncer or swing like a potato, because it’s all downhill once they start rolling.

No Credentials New Theory For MLB Starting Pitchers = Use Them While You Have Them

            We’ve seen pitchers who were coddled, with innings limits strictly imposed, end up needing Tommy John surgery (Stephen Strasburg). We’ve seen pitchers that were rushed to the major leagues, with minimal restrictions, end up needing Tommy John surgery (Jose Fernandez). The bottom line is, there’s really no way to predict when or if a pitcher will blow out his elbow. We aren’t advocating to have pitchers throw 130+ pitches per start, but if I’m running a MLB team, I’m using my best pitchers as often and as much as possible until they breakdown.     

Joey Logano is NASCAR’s first post-hype sleeper

            For non-fantasy baseball nerds, post-hype sleeper is a phrase given to a player that was hyped when he initially made it to the big leagues, then “under performed” for a few years, before breaking out well after most people assumed that player would ever reach his predicted ceiling (long sentence, but hopefully it made sense). Joey Logano fits the bill, which is stupid when you remember that he just turned 24 on Saturday.
            Sometime back in the mid-2000s, Mark Martin blessed Joey Logano with the nickname “Sliced Bread”, anointing him the next big thing in NASCAR. All of the major teams made overtures to ink him to a development deal, with Joe Gibbs Racing ultimately signing him. Logano debuted in Nationwide after he turned 18 and became the youngest winner in the history of the series. When Tony Stewart left to build his own team with Gene Haas, Logano was rushed into Sprint Cup in 2009. Logano won a couple of races during his time with Gibbs, but was ultimately let go to make room for Matt Kenseth. Ignorant fans (in other words, the vast majority of NASCAR viewers) figured Logano was finished even though he was only 22 years old. Roger Penske wisely scooped up him up to fill the seat vacated by A.J. Allmendinger, and the rest is history.
            Logano was a victim of the end of the “rush young drivers to the top-tier series” era launched by the success of Jeff Gordon (which never made sense, because Gordon spent a few years in the then Busch Series before his rookie year). Auto racing is a sport where drivers typically peak in their early to mid-30s, so for everyone to give up on Logano was preposterous. The vast majority of drivers didn’t get the chance to deliver after they initially flopped (click here to read about Casey Atwood, who’s arguably the best example of a young driver owners gave up on too early), but we’re happy Logano got the chance. There’s a good chance he’ll be battling with Kyle Larson and Chase Elliott for the next two decades.          

There is no such thing as “new” Michael Jackson songs

            All of the songs featured on Jackson’s second posthumous album were originally recorded between 1983 and 2002, so lets stop calling this new material.

I like super heroes as much as anyone, but holy shit let’s give them a rest on the big screen

            Ever since the extraordinary success of the Christopher Nolan Batman series, it seems movie studios want to revisit the complete stories of every comic book character ever invented. The problem is compounded by the studios that own the rights to the X-Men and Spiderman, who have to produce original movies every two years or else Disney (which now owns Marvel Comics) gains the rights to them. At some point enough of these films will bomb (we predict tough sledding for Marvel’s “Guardians of the Galaxy”, which is a comic with a fan base of roughly 602) that Hollywood will move on to beating some other genre into the ground.

10 Awesome Things That Happened This Past Weekend (3/4-3/6)

10. Owners and NFLPA Extend CBA Negotiations a Week

            I can appreciate the owners and players agreeing to talk longer, but here is a novel concept…instead of negotiating a new deadline, why not just NEGOTIATE A DAMN DEAL SO FOOTBALL ISN’T CANCELLED NEXT FALL (sorry for the capital letters. The possibility of no NFL in September gets me riled up)? Both sides are arguing about three basic things. How to split $9 billion (what a terrible problem to have), the length of the season (owners want 18 games, players want to stay at 16), and longer health benefits for players after they retire. I know there’s a lot of money, but cant we get a few heads in a room together and hammer out a deal? The NFL is coming off its most successful financial season ever. You’d think petty differences would be thrown aside for the sake of growing the brand.

9. Mark Cuban in Talks to Develop TV Show With Charlie Sheen

            I think Cuban should spend more time running the Mavericks than trying to bring a playoff system to college football, or even worse, trying to create a TV show for a crackhead.

8. Danica Patrick Finishes 4^th in Nationwide Race at Las Vegas

            Critics will say that Patrick’s first top-5 finish in NASCAR only happened because of great fuel

strategy by her crew chief, but she was running in 10^th before fuel affected the outcome of the race (ironically, Patrick’s crew chief was the same man who made a similar call to put Dale Earnhardt Jr. in victory lane at Michigan in 2008). Patrick has come along way since her first races in a stock car in 2010. I’ll be stunned if she doesn’t make the jump to NASCAR full-time in 2012.

7. NCAA Investigating University of Oregon Football Program

            I’ll start this by saying I have nothing against the University of Oregon, and wish no penalty or sanctions on their football team. I just feel it’s noteworthy because the majority of scrutiny this past season was on their opponent in the BCS Championship Game (Auburn), but now they are beginning to come under fire.

            The NCAA has begun investigating Oregon after a $25,000 payment to Willie Lyles, a trainer based out of Texas. There are whispers that Lyles was paid by Oregon in exchange for prized recruit Lache Seastrunk (not to pick on the dude, but Lache Seastrunk is one of the craziest names for a runningback I’ve ever seen), who committed to the Ducks last January. Oregon has told the NCAA that Lyles is a scout who works for a recruiting service (all major colleges pay between $5,000 and $15,000 to recruiting services for game-tape of high school prospects), but Seastrunk’s mom has said that she was under the impression Lyles was just a trainer. Lyles had a mentor-like relationship with Seastrunk, and certainly was in a position to influence which school he chose to play for. Even more troubling for Oregon is the fact that Lyles is also linked to LaMichael James, another Texas recruit who finished second in the Heisman Trophy balloting last December. The NCAA wants to know what sort of services Lyles was providing for such a high fee. Oregon can certainly explain how they were able to pay for such an expensive scouting service (as written about by me here after the BCS Championship Game, there’s tons of Nike money flowing through Oregon), but the real question will be the level of services provided by Lyles (who if you talk to a player’s mom, was a trainer, but to Oregon, he’s a scout. Sounds sketchy huh?). If Lyles is discovered to be nothing more than a private contractor that directs players to certain schools for a fee, Oregon will be staring at a stiff penalty from the NCAA.

6. Tim Tebow Supports BYU’s Brandon Davies           

            I’ve stayed away from the BYU “Honor Code” issue because the BYU Honor Code has been there for over 70 years. If you sign up to play for BYU, and you get caught doing anything that breaks the code, you should expect punishment. I mention it here only to praise Tebow for speaking out and wondering aloud whether or not the penalty was too harsh. Perception wise, Tebow is regarded as having very strong morals. For him to step out and speak on behalf of Davies, even though the transgression Davies committed goes against Tebow’s faith, was noteworthy. Even though this has nothing to do with running a 2 minute drill, I would feel better as a Broncos fan knowing I have a quarterback who’s unafraid to voice an opinion and lead.

5. Lakers Flex Muscles in San Antonio

            Los Angeles has been sleepwalking most of the year, but they woke up for this one just to remind the league who the king of the west still is. San Antonio earned the right to take a game off after the #2 item on this list.

4. Carl Edwards Steals Las Vegas Win From Tony Stewart

            As is the case with most 1.5 mile tracks, this race was a snooze-fest for the most part, but if you stuck around for the end you got to hear Tony Stewart give his best Ricky Bobby impersonation. Just for poops and giggles, here's the wheelchair scene from "Talladega Nights".

3. North Carolina Beats Duke, Wins ACC Regular Season Title

            I watched all of this game, which sadly, doubled the amount of college basketball I had actually viewed live this season. If Duke isn’t hitting their threes, they have a very hard time generating offense. I’d be very surprised if this team made it past the sweet 16 (unless the tournament selection committee sets them up with a powder puff bracket like last season). North Carolina is a different story. Freshman Kendall Marshall’s ascension to the starting point guard position has brought the best out of Harrison Barnes, and North Carolina is one of the few teams that seem able to attack the paint when they need a bucket. This club reminds me a lot of the 2002-03 Syracuse club that was led by Carmelo Anthony.

2. Spurs Blast Heat By 30 Points

            After an epic collapse at home against Orlando the previous night (epic is the only word that can be used to describe blowing a 24-point lead on your home floor), Miami came out totally flat at San Antonio. The most fun part of this was New Hampshire native Matt Bonner scoring 9 points in three minutes (watch the first minute or so of this video to see the 1^st quarter assault). Apparently Miami was very concerned about defending the paint, because that’s where all five of their players ended up on every play. That’s a great defense to set your team up in if you’re coaching an elementary school basketball team, but not so great against one of the best three-point shooting teams in the NBA.

1. Heat Players Cry After Loss to Bulls

            Tom Hanks famously screamed in “A League of Their Own”, “THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!” I think Erik Spoelstra needs to call Hanks in to give his players a pep talk. Personally, if I were a Heat fan, I wouldn’t mind hearing that Lebron and Bosh shed a tear or two after this game, because it shows they actually give a crap about what’s going on (Spoelstra essentially says that in the first minute of this clip). I’m starting to get the sense that the Heat’s big three (oops, I meant “The Big 2 Featuring Chris Bosh”) have finally realized that there talent alone isn’t going to carry them to the NBA title. Miami needs to come up with a half-court offense that doesn’t involved one of the big three dribbling with the ball and jacking up a shot while the other four guys on the court stand around.