A couple of you have asked where No Credentials has been the last few
months. We regret the lack of activity, but it can be chalked up to multiple
factors.
- I have a new job, and the schedule I work doesn’t fit my previous pattern of posting.
- My son is a terrorist.
- Okay my son isn’t really a terrorist, but he’s an energetic four year old who never fails to wake up early and does everything in his power to stay up as late as possible. I love him dearly, but he wears my wife and I out daily.
- The Dallas Cowboys have done pretty well since we’ve gone mute, so I haven’t wanted to disrupt the cosmic workings of the universe.
- I’m pretty damn lazy.
With all that said, we want to hand out some fake
awards to recap the year. These are things I could’ve posted about if I had any
form of drive or motivation to do so.
Best Play = Odell Beckham’s Catch Against the Cowboys
In a vacuum, Beckham’s Internet-breaking grab was the most athletic thing I’ve ever seen on a football field.
However,
folks need to pump the brakes on calling it the greatest catch in the history
of the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. The Giants didn’t even win the game, and the
team sputtered to a 6-10 finish. For our money, David Tyree’s Helmet Catch was
the greatest grab in NFL history. Let’s punch Patriots’ fans in the stomach by
posting the video of it.
Honorable Mention = Marshawn Lynch going ham on the
Cardinals.
Most Overrated = Ebola’s Impact on the United States
When Ebola
first surfaced on American soil, I had conversations with people who genuinely
believed the government was behind the outbreak in an attempt to eliminate a
large part of the population. I’m guessing these same people bought a lot of
canned vegetables in 2012.
(EDITORS NOTE: We understand that Ebola is a serious disease
that is ravaging Africa)
Honorable Mention = Kirk Cousins (holy shit he sucks.
Cousins owes me a refund for the money I wagered on the Deadskins against the
Giants in Week 4)
Best Kids Show = Henry Danger
We were all
in on Nickelodeon’s superhero show the first time Captain Man hit on Henry’s
mom.
No Credentials Video Game of the Year = Clash of Clans
I’m
not proud of it.
Honorable Mention = Candy Crush (I’m not proud of that
either)
Most Memorable Bad Team = Cleveland Browns
In
the AP Report on Josh Gordon’s suspension last week, the words “the team was
unable to locate Gordon and quarterback Johnny Manziel Friday night” were
actually printed. Somehow, a terrible Kevin Costner movie was the lone
highlight of 2014 for the Cleveland Browns.
Honorable Mention = Sacramento Kings (Boogie!!!)
Team of the Year = 2013-14 San Antonio Spurs
How
they were so easily able to dismantle the Miami Heat in the Finals, and put an
end to the “Big Two featuring a Broken Down Dwyane Wade” era, earns San Antonio
team of the year status.
Honorable Mention = 2013-14 Seattle Seahawks, 2014 Boston
Red Sox (just kidding!)
The Next Great One = Anthony Davis
The
Brow is improving year by year at a rate never seen in the NBA before. He’s
going to be great on the Lakers in two years.
Honorable Mention = Andrew Luck
Most Ignorant = NASCAR Fans
NASCAR
fans will literally bitch about anything. It’s the worst fan base in sports.
League of the Year = NBA
It
was a great year for the NBA for a multitude of reasons. Adam Silver took over
as the new commish, and immediately became the most powerful leader in sports
when he removed Donald Sterling from the Clippers. We already discussed the
Spurs, whose title run was fueled by incredible passing from every spot on the
floor. The league goes into 2015 with the most teams having a realistic chance
at a title in the history of the NBA. It is a great time to be a fan of The
Association.
Film of the Year = The Lego Movie
If
you don’t have kids, I fully advise you to rent one for a day so you don’t feel
weird watching The Lego Movie.
Most Valuable Player = Madison Bumgarner
He’ll
probably need Tommy John Surgery in six months, but who cares? Bumgarner was
amazing in carrying the Giants to their third title in five years.
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